Queen Of Witchcraft
by schillingklaus
Summary: PCA middle school student Malika develops paranormal abilities and needs to learn to control them.


**Queen Of Witchcraft**

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**Klaus Schilling**

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**Rating**

PG-13

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**Disclaimer**

iDon't Own _Zoey 101_ or any other of the subsequently specified shows or other works of arts cited or paraphrased in this story.

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**Acknowledgements**

The story is written for _LiveJournal_-Community _Tamingthemuse_, prompt _Sixth Sense_.

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**Contents**

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Chapter 1 My First Year At PCA

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1.1 Prologue

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1.2 New At PCA

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1.3 Basketball

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1.3.1 A Girls's Team

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1.3.2 Before The Match

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1.3.3 Zoey In The Dirt

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1.3.4 Treason

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1.3.5 After The Match

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1.4 102 Butler Hall

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1.4.1 Dana The Cheerio

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1.4.2 Division By Three

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1.4.3 Quinnventions

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1.4.4 Controlled

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1.4.5 Zoey's Problems

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1.4.6 Fire Weirdo

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1.4.7 Cheerleading

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1.5 Ursine Threat

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1.5.1 Confess Or Stress

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1.5.2 Warning Quinn

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1.5.3 ABC

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1.5.4 Naughty Rumours

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1.6 Bullies

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1.6.1 The Gambler

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1.6.2 Voudon Doll

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1.6.3 The Bleeding Creep

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1.7 Bad Boys

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1.7.1 Frightening Wakeup

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1.7.2 Week Of Pranks

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1.7.3 Making Unconscious

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1.7.4 The Monument

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1.7.5 Unconscious

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1.8 Advertisement

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1.8.1 Lateness

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1.8.2 Qualitech

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1.8.3 Bristow Juices

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1.9 Drama

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1.9.1 Hollywood And PCA

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1.9.2 Our Drama Club

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The Adviser

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Plays To Be Performed

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1.9.3 Zorka The Zorkesian

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1.9.4 Auditions

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The Perfect Alien Girl

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Logan Versus Chase

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Disappointed Chase

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1.9.5 Talking To Chase

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1.9.6 Zoey And Logan — Maybe?

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1.9.7 Sick Dustin

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Rude Dana

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Laying Hands

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1.9.8 Kill Versus Kiss

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1.9.9 Fired

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1.10 Quinn's Absurd Crush

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1.10.1 Quinn's Weakness

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1.10.2 Mark Del Figgalo

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1.10.3 Killer Toad

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1.10.4 The Dog Whisperer

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1.10.5 Courtney Cohort

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1.11 Highway To Who Knows Where

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1.11.1 Spring Fling Approaching

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Bad Experiences

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The Neophyte Rock Star

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1.11.2 Fundraising

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Zoey's Plan

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Drake's Little Sister

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Garth Berman

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Megan's Conditions

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Sleep Withdrawal

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Discussing Megan's Plan

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More Volunteers

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1.11.3 Drake At PCA

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The Arrival

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The Opening

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Lullaby

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Bra Sneaker

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End Of The Concert

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1.12 Mindy Crenshaw

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1.12.1 Quinn's Botanic Experiments

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1.12.2 Fashionable Backpack

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Cue Pop Disaster

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The Presentation

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1.12.3 The Dangerous Stranger

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1.12.4 Botanic Fraud

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Informing Quinn

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In Flagrante Delicto

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Interrogation

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1.12.5 Wired Minds

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1.13 State Championships

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1.13.1 Progress Of Basketball Team

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1.13.2 Michael's Weighty Problem

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1.13.3 Representing PCA

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Cheerleader Uniforms

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School Hymn

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1.13.4 Fighting Addiction

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Fake Crisps

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Hypersensibilisation

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Hypnosis

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1.13.5 The Opponents

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1.13.6 The Final Match

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1.13.7 The Celebrations

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1.14 Dance The Night Away

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1.14.1 Annual Middle School Ball

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1.14.2 The Rules

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1.14.3 Filling The Questionary

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1.14.4 The Results

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1.14.5 Saturday Night

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1.14.6 Dance In The Moonlight

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1.15 Off To The Beach

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1.15.1 Traditional Beach Party

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1.15.2 Staying Behind

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1.15.3 In The Lounge

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1.15.4 Searching For Zoey

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1.15.5 Found Again

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Chapter 2 My Second Year at PCA

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2.1 Lola Martinez

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2.1.1 Back On The Campus

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2.1.2 Palmer Noid

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2.1.3 Dana Is Gone

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2.1.4 Girls From The East Coast

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2.1.5 Fake Emo Girl

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Zoey's Fear

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The Monster's Den

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2.1.6 Camping

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2.1.7 Power Failure

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Infernal Noise

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With The Lights Out

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Pictures In The Dark

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2.2 Future Past

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2.2.1 The Project

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2.2.2 Insomnia

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2.2.3 Chase's Insanity

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2.2.4 Deep Sleep

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2.3 Student Council

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2.3.1 Canditates

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2.3.2 The Freshmen

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2.3.3 Dustin's Dilemma

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2.3.4 Elections

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2.4 Samantha Puckett

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2.4.1 Incessant Troublemaker

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2.4.2 Stinky Beast

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2.4.3 Jackie Chun

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2.4.4 Dustin's Coolness

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2.4.5 Leanne Carter

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2.4.6 Pageant Cheating

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2.4.7 Sam's Next Boyfriend

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2.4.8 Frank Murkin

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2.4.9 Biomechatronics

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2.4.10 Expelled Demon

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2.5 Combat Droids

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2.5.1 Annoying Teenagers

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2.5.2 Miles Brody

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2.5.3 Humiliated

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2.5.4 Disgusting Date

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2.5.5 The Death Battles

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The Introduction

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Fighting Belleview

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Facing The Worminator

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2.5.6 Annoying Miles

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2.5.7 End Of Robot War League

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2.5.8 Beautiful Bot

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2.6 Halloween

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2.6.1 Spooky House

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2.6.2 French Visitors

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2.6.3 Lola's Absence

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2.6.4 Costumes

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2.6.5 Zombie Hunt

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Tunnels Of Horror

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2.6.6 Halloween At J.K. Polk

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2.6.7 The Secret Identity

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2.7 Web Shows

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2.7.1 Nicole's Obsession

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2.7.2 A Lame Show By Chase And Michael

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2.7.3 Method Acting

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2.7.4 Nicole's Rôle

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2.7.5 Nicole On The Web

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2.7.6 The Search For A Guest Star

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2.7.7 Spoon Bending Online

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2.8 Jerk In The Fountain

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2.8.1 Lola's Tutor

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2.8.2 Solo Trombone

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2.8.3 Dustin's Despair

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2.8.4 The Baldwin Sisters

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2.8.5 Lola Dates Chase

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2.8.6 Double Date

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2.8.7 Philharmonic Club

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2.8.8 Remorses

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2.8.9 Wetting Logan

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2.9 Hot Tuna

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2.9.1 Nights At Sushi Rox

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2.9.2 Dustin Drops Sandy

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2.9.3 Sushi Rox On Fire

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2.9.4 Ruins And Ashes

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2.9.5 Girls' Choice

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A Sponsor For Sushi Rox

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2.9.6 Nozu

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2.10 Spring In The City

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2.10.1 Start Of Spring Break

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2.10.2 Los Angeles National Airport

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Bus Trip

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Captain Stubing

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Flighing High

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Terrence Bo

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Wrong Flight

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Milo Creary

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2.10.3 Gender Defenders

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2.11 Otis

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2.11.1 The Destroyed Tekmate

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2.11.2 The Office Assistant

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2.11.3 Forbidden Letter

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2.11.4 Peruvian Alpaca

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2.11.5 Tipper Rivers

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2.11.6 Faye Dunnaway

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Megan's Zebra

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Chase's Old Dream

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2.11.7 The Losers

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2.11.8 Broken Device

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2.12 Rooftops

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2.12.1 Chicken Pox

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2.12.2 Sunny Place

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2.12.3 Love Sick Puppy

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2.12.4 Plans Against The Boys

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2.12.5 The Philharmonic Club

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2.12.6 Fixing Dustin

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2.12.7 March Of The Squirrels

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Chapter 3 My Third Year at PCA

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3.1 Rebecca

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3.1.1 A New Year At PCA

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3.1.2 Leanne Carter

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3.1.3 Peruvian Puff Peppers

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3.1.4 Turmoil In Brenner Hall

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3.1.5 Deadly Sick

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3.1.6 Quinn's Room Mates

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3.1.7 Dustin's Dismay

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3.1.8 Disgusting Scene

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3.2 Trying Out

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3.2.1 Zoey's Troublesome Night

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3.2.2 Basketball Crisis

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3.2.3 Cheerio Hierarchy

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3.2.4 The Orchestra

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3.2.5 Megan's Idea

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3.2.6 Nevel And Megan

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3.2.7 Keller Quits PCA

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3.2.8 The Return Of The Danger

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3.3 Coco Goes Insane

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3.3.1 The Model Plane

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3.3.2 New Basketball Coach

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3.3.3 Coco's Misery

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3.3.4 Win A Date

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Using The Web Show

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The Canditates

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Coco And Walter

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3.3.5 Dinner At Nozu

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3.4 The Scream

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3.4.1 Lola's Next Audition

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3.4.2 Bad Danny

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3.4.3 Stacey's Disappointment

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3.4.4 The Rôle

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3.5 The Precious Trophy

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3.5.1 Privileges Of Football Stars

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3.5.2 The Girl Eater

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3.5.3 Unhealthy Snacks

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3.5.4 Similar Case At James K. Polk

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3.5.5 The Mean Chater

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3.5.6 Talking To Ashley

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3.5.7 Confessions Of A Cheater

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3.5.8 No Vince — No Chance

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Rocking The Cheerio Squad

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Dangerous Substitute

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3.5.9 Vincent's Tutors

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3.5.10 The Last Foe

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3.5.11 Ultimate Training

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3.5.12 The Big Match

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Entrance Of The Stingray Squad

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The Secons Half

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Coconut Cracker

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Trina Hankers After Drake

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Rendering The Trophy

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3.5.13 The Ultimate Celebrations

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3.5.14 Doubts And Shadows

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3.6 The Launchpad Of Careers

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3.6.1 Society Of The Silver Hammers

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3.6.2 I Hear Them Knocking

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3.6.3 The New Girl

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3.6.4 Slaves

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3.6.5 Protected

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3.6.6 Rejects

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3.6.7 Kreuftlva

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3.7 Charles Galloway

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3.7.1 The Oldest Teacher

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National Economy

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3.7.2 Apples And Kisses

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3.7.3 The Legend Of A Lost Student

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3.8 Living Relatives

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3.9 Responsible Adult

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3.9.1 Start Of The Field Trip

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3.9.2 Green Tornado

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3.9.3 Talking To The Dead

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3.10 Returning From The Horrortrip

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3.10.1 Zoey's Nightmare

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3.11 Martial

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3.12 Wrestling Team

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3.13 Approaching The Regionals

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3.13.1 Chuck Javers

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3.13.2 The Contest

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3.13.3 The Vampire

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3.14 Unhappy Birthday

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3.14.1 Changes On The Campus

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3.14.2 The Grandmother

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3.14.3 Rain Storm

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3.14.4 Sad Songs

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3.14.5 Funeral Trip

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3.14.6 The Resurrection

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3.14.7 Conclusion

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**Synopsis**

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**Genres**

Spiritual, supernatural, mystery, horror, fluff, friends, drama, hurt & comfort.

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**Fandoms**

The story occurs in the identified **universe** of a huge variety of current or past live action shows and movies produced for _Nickelodeon_ channel, including but not restricted to _Zoey 101_, _Drake & Josh_, _Unfabulous_, _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_, _The iCarly Show_, _True Jackson VP_, _The Troop_, _House Of Anubis_, _Bigtime Rush_, _Victorious_, _Supah Ninjas_, _Bucket & Skinner__'__s Epic Adventures_, _How To Rock_. A huge variety of characters from those shows is deployed here, centering especially around

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**Prerequisites**

Knowledge of the most important _Nickelodeon_ live action shows, as summarised in the corresponsing _Wikipedia_ pages, are supposed to be enough in order to be able to follow this story, but general knowledge of the storyline of _Zoey 101_is most appreciated.

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**Timeline**

The story departs in Summer 2004.

The following indicates which episodes, season, and movies are set in which academic year:

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**2003 to 2004**:

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_Drake & Josh_: Season 1, Season 2 unto _Little Diva_.

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******2004 to 2005**:

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_Drake & Josh_: Season 2 since _Driver License_, Season 3 unto _Helen__'__s Surgery_; _Zoey 101_: Season 1; _Unfabulous_: Season 1, Season 2; _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_: Season 1, Season 2

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******2005 to 2006**:

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_Drake & Josh_: Season 3 since _Foam Finger_; _Zoey 101_: Season 2; _Unfabulous_: Seasion 3; _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_: Seasion 3

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******2006 to 2007**:

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_Zoey 101_: Season 3 unto _The Curse Of PCA_; _Drake & Josh_: season four as a dream of Megan Parker; _Drake & Josh_: _Merry Christmas_ as a dream of Drake Parker; _Fairly Odd Movie_ as a dream of Drake Parker; _Shredderman Rules_; _Last Days Of Summer_; _Just Jordan_: Season 1; _Star and Stella SaveThe World_ — never aired — as a dream of Stella Rivera. _The iCarly Show_: _Pilot_; _The Gym Teacher_

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******2007 to 2008**:

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_Zoey 101_: Season 3 since _Wrestling_; _Zoey 101_: Season 4 as a dream of Zoey Brooks; _The iCarly Show_: Season 1 since _iLike Jake_; _Just Jordan_: Season 2

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******2008 to 2009**:

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_Spectacular!_; _Victorious_ as a dream dreamt by Lola Martinez; _The iCarly Show_: Season 2; _True Jackson VP_: Season 1 unto _The Dance_

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******2009 to 2010**:

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_Bigtime Rush_: Season 1; _The iCarly Show_: Season 3; _The iCarly Show_: Season 4 and thereafter as a dream of Carly Shay; _Best Player_; _True Jackson VP_: Season 2 since _Back To School_; _The Troop_ as a dream of Haley Steele; _True Jackson VP_: Season 3 as a dream of True Jackson

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******2010 to 2011**:

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_House Of Anubis_: Season 2; _Bigtime Rush_: anything thereafter as a dream of Kendall Knight; _House Of Anubis_ as a dream of Patricia Williamson; _Supah Ninjas_: Season 1; _Bucket & Skinner__'__s Epic Adventures_: Season 1; _Rags_ as a dream of Cady Worth alias True Jackson

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******2011 to 2012**:

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_How To Rock_: Season 1;

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**Summary**

The story takes you through the middle school life of untimely orphaned _Malika Ritter_ — _a guest character in __The iCarly Show__: __iSpeeddate__ with a surname borrowed from the same actress__'__s recurring rôle in __TeenNick__ production __Gigantic_ — at Pacific Coast Academy where she is sent to middle school by her wealthy uncle. She develops an uncanny sixth sense and telekinetic abilities. But she needs to learn to handle those.

The story follows basically the outline of the first two and a half seasons of the canon of _Zoey 101_, _Pilot_ through _Chase__'__s Grandma_. Malika's decisions and the practice of her abilities, interfering with the actions of the other pupils on and off the campus, change the story lines of _Zoey 101_ and and adjacent shows drastically.

**Couples** include Malika / Matthew Palmer Noid (a guest character in _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_: _Upperclass Men_, Zoey Brooks / Jerome Crony,

* * *

**Chapter 1 My First Year At PCA**

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**1.1 Prologue**

Hello, my name is Ritter … Malika Ritter, born in Seattle alias _the Emerald City_.

_Malika_ is probably an Arabian word meaning something like _queen_. But what is a queen without a kingdom and underlings to rule over?

Anyways, my mother had died an untimely, but not unexpected death when I was eleven. I had got some uncanny vibes, but my mom had ignored them, and apparently had to pay dearly for her stubborn demeanour. Clearly, she could have avoided the car crash had she been aware of its possibility and avoided the pernicious road this one time.

Her brother, a rich single merchant of some sorts, had promised her to take care of me. Actually, an overly curious and sassy tween girl was probably not fitting well into his life, especially his dubious hobbies and his many women. Thus I was sent to some boarding school, and apparently a really good one, with a beach, many facilities for sports and other hobbies, nice dormitory rooms, and the best teachers of California.

* * *

**1.2 New At PCA**

The school, from where my grandfather had graduated a bunch of decades ago, was known as Pacific Coast Academy, and it had been reserved for boys until some point, and this point was now. In other words, I was among the first girls studying here, which was not going to be some easy task.

When enrolling, I was not yet aware of the significance my ability to read bad vibes and dark omens would acquire, and, honestly, I was not really yet able to handle it, and I was often surprised by it. Apparently, I was not yet over the shock of having lost my mother because she had ignored my warnings. Apparently I needed to learn to live with my sixth sense, and the shocking incidence had not been very helpful.

Although I was surrounded by some thousand fellow students, I was feeling really alone, for the first time in my history — or so I believed. I was not the only new student here, as apparently all girls were new, but we were an eclatant minority.

My room was 153 Butler Hall, and, like all dormitory rooms, it had hitherto served boys only, which was apparently a bit awkward for us girl, but I would have to get accustomed to it. Like most halls, it was named after a sponsor or alumnus that had contributed signifiantly to its construction. And the fly papers had not lied, the rooms were really spacy and bright.

Usually, three kids were supposed to share a room, but I was assigned a room on my own. This was a consequence of the fact that the number of sixth grade girls currently enrolled was not divisible by three, and so there had to be some excess. But maybe I was going to be assigned a room mate during the following days, weeks, or months. Some kids lived off campus and did not even need a place in a dormitory room, and some arrived or departed during the term, which was certainly rare, but it happened from time to time.

* * *

**1.3 Basketball**

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**1.3.1 A Girls's Team**

I entered the lounge for middle school girls, which looked fairly cool. I had heard that the one for hiogh school girls was even better, as it had been xrenewed recently.

There were a few girls present, discussing the possibility of a girls' basketball team. Obviously, there was no such a thing as of yet, as girls were new here.

Zoey Brooks, a blond Mary Sue, was apparently most interested in one, and she tried to convince her friends or room mates to participate in the trials. She seemed to be somewhat the ringleader of the girls at this school. She was certainly a rocking team player and very dextrous, making her predestined for a career in one of the team ball sports that did not require the raw physical power of football, although she would certainly have made her way through it even there, using her strengths to the fullest and fooling the jerks and jocks that dominated those sports considered as only suited for boys of raw muscle power.

Her friends or room mates were apparently not that way, buit did not want to disappoint her.

Nicole Bristow, for example, was an excruciatingly bubbly bimbo wench from the middle west. She appeared to be particularly obsessed with cute boys. Sports was certainly not her thing, but as Zoey was her only friend here, at least so far, she did not have another choice but support her issues. Of course, Nicole would be totally distracted by the boys and flunk each and every action in a basketball match.

Another room mate of Zoey seemed to be Dana Cruz, a bully and tomboy with wavy caramel brown hair. She seemed to be a perfect power athlete, but she was opposed to joining Zoey's girl basketball team, claiming that she did not want to be humiliated in a match against the boys.

Fact was, that without someone like Dana, a girls' team would hardly have stood a snow flake's chance in hell against the boys, while with Dana, there was certainly a chance, as the boys here seemed to feel very arrogant and ignorant concerning the girls' abilities.

Another girl following Zoey was a certain Quinn Pensky, a geek girl from Seattle. She did not have the athletic abilities of Zoey Brooks. She may know a lot about the theory of sports, but that was it. Actually, her only prior experinec with a basketball was getting one to blow up and burst into smithereens.

There were also a few minor girls, such as Natsumi Victoria[1:1] but they were no good, either.

So, basically, the team would be just Zoey.

The spokesman of the boys that treated the girls like dirt was a certain Logan Reese, a spoiled son of one of the most successful Hollywood movie producers, Malcolm Reese,[1:2] and a thoroughly perverse no good for nothing jerk and jock. He was probably also the one with the golden credit card, and the other boys had to obey to him as he was paying them.

His mindless henchmen included his room mates Chase Matthews and Michael Barret. I did not know much about them except that Chase had run into a flag rod when seeing Zoey arrive on the campus. Apparently, this bushy dork had got a crush on the blond Mary Sue, which was nothing unusual at all, but he tried to avoid saying so.

But that was not my business, at least not now.

Logan Reese had denied the girls a place in the boys' basketball team, and he had explained that girls were only good as cheerleaders. This had upset Zoey Brooks to no end.

While it was certainly not a nice thing to say, given that cheerleading was hard athletic work as well, it was completely true in the sense that the board of the alumni and sponsors of Pacific Coast Academy had decided in favour of coeducation for no other reason than that of being able of establishing a strong cheerleading squad. Of course, I had sensed such a thing, but Zoey and her friends would not have believed me. The owner of Pacific Coast Academy, Leo Bradford.[1:3], had always been rigorously opposed to it, just as his father, the founder of this illustrious educational institution, had done before him. The sponsors were most interested in successful athletic teams, in particular football. Cheerios were important for the motivation of the football jocks and the team spirit, especially in events like pep rallies. In the early years of this school, male cheerios had been accepted and fairly common. But things had chganged during the last decades. Nowadays, those boys were considered gay losers, and the interest in joining our cheerio squad had waned significantly. As a crutch, the school administration, lead by Dean Rivers, had hired cheerleaders from neighbouring schools, such as Northridge,[1:4] Palmwood, Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, Silver Spring,[1:5] Brewster, or James K. Polk. But these arrangements were very fragile, and cheerios from other schools were hardly as much integrable into our team spirit programs as own cheerios. Granted, girls were still a blatant minority, and there was still the need to hire girls from other schools in order to fill the ranks of the cheerio squad. But this situation would not last for much longer, as the quantity of boys and girls would balance during the following three years.

Dana Cruz left the room, as she was apparently the only one of those girls hanging out with Zoey who was not willing to join the girls' basketball team. Given her undisputable abilities, there must have been a reason for this. And my sixth sense told me that she was basically willing to accept Logan Reese's judgment about girls and their place in ball sports, or the lack of a reasons for girls in the teams of Pacific Coast Academy. OK, this was only a hunch, and it was not really authorative, was it?

* * *

**1.3.2 Before The Match**

Zoey had agreed with the boys on a basketball match, boys against girls, in order to demonstrate that the girls were not inferior to the boys.

I was going to watch the thing because I had not got much better things to do. So I sat down on the bleachers.

Two elementary school boys, Dustin Brooks and Jack Ross,[1:6] were sitting on the bleachers. Dustin was the little brother of aforementioned Zoey, and he wanted to support her during the upcoming match, but many of the boys had threatened to torture him in the case of doing so, for that would have made him a traitor.

I sensed that Dustin Brooks was the epitome of the ideal little brother because of his thorough admiration for and need of acknowledgment by his elder sister, and it was clear that this was not going to be without bigger problems. On the one hand, he knew that she was there for him when needed, on the other hand, he did not want to appear uncool by being known as nothing more than the little brother of a wonderful Mary Sue.

The mass of boys here was apparently really perverse and stupid, but nobody could hold a candle in this discipline to Logan Reese.

* * *

**1.3.3 Zoey In The Dirt**

Coach Ferguson[1:7] initiated th death match between the boys and the girls.

It was clear that Zoey's random troop was unable to keep the pace of the boys' team, not because boys were any better at that kind of sport, but simply because the male students outnumbered the female one by eight to one, and thus there had been more possibilities for selecting the ebst. In addition, the boys had already been students here for several years, while the girls had not met before the start of this week.

Logan and Michael harvested most of the points, but that had by all means been expected.

Zoey Brooks was really the only girl able to play the game, but she was lost all alone against a pack of mediocre boys. But this did not mean that the Mary Sue was willing to resignate as soon as possible.

Quinn, Nicole, and Natsumi dropped out like flies, either by running away screaming or by knocking out themselves.

Clearly, Zoey Brooks was bound to be the last standing girl, and her skills seriously annoyed the boys, especially Logan Reese.

All of a sudden, Logan pushed her rudely into the dirt.

I did not need my sixth sense in order to notice that, everyone with a brain had seen that coming.

But the coach and referee refused to punish Logan for the evil deed, probably because he had not really cared about the action on the field. This was easily explained by the fact that the match had been hitherto extremely onesided, making most naïve watchers believe in the futility of looking at the ongoing struggles and just wait for the clock to run out in order to declare the boys as the uncontestable winner of the foul match.

Well, one of the boys should have noticed and protested against the unfair treatment of Zoey, and this was preceisely Chase Matthews. He had appeared to like her a lot, so, why was he not going to demonstrate it and tell the referee about Logan's inconsiderate action that required some harsh punishment?

The answer was — plain and simple — resting on the fact that Chase Matthews was a huge coward. This was somewhat justified. Dustin's mates had threatened him with shaving his eyebrowes off if he had cheered for Zoey. And the little bugger was just an onlooker of the match. For sure, Chase would have been considered a traitor if witnessing against his team mate Logan and getting him expelled.

Dana Cruz left the viewers's ranks, ready — or so I sensed — to change into her athlete's outfit and fight for the girls' team. Apparently the ruse demeanour of the boys, especially Logan, was too much even for the reckless tomboy and bully to bear.

Ferguson deemed that Zoey's wound she had received from hitting the dust was too large to let her continue, which would have been the immediate end of the girls' team.

But the Mary Sue refused to retire, and she got it of course her way.

* * *

**1.3.4 Treason**

There was sort of a break, and I could not watch any longer Chase's absurd passivity.

Zoey had been the first person to help him up when he had hit a flag pole with his bike.

He owed her much more than just looking at her on and off with hungry eyes. Telling the umpire what he had seen was the absolute minimum.

I concentrated sharply, and I goy Chase to go to Ferguson and tell him about the abominable misdeed committed by Logan Reese. Of course he risked now more than just getting his browes cut off. But it was definitely necessary.

Ferguson discussed the situation with the players.

As Logan showed no trace of a regret for what he had done, he was not only sent off the team, but also reported to Dean Rivers and excluded from the basketball team of the year, most likely all teams of Pacific Coast Academy for the rest of his life at our school.

The disgusting jerk was of course not pleased by the decision. "My father is the busiest sponsor of Pacific Coast Academy. You can't exclude me from the team or any other."

This was still to be verified, but I sensed that there was one grain of truth to it. The sponsors and alumni were very influential, not only at Pacific Coast Academy, but in southern California's social life in general: politics, economy, military, sports, science, and of course the all-encompassing entertainment industry epitomised by nearby Hollywood.

Dana had jumped into her jogging suit, and now she was rigged and ready to join the girls' team. With this reinforcemnent, combined with the consternation of the boys' team, there was now no doubt that the girls were ready to come back and even turn the match completely.

But what was going to happen to poor Chase who was now considered as the ultimate traitor by the boys? Not even his best friend Michael Barret was able to stick up for him, at least not for much longer. Chase was forced to move out of his dormitory room and come to live with Mark del Figgalo, another dweeb, and a really boring one at that.

I would have to do something in order to help him there.

Dustin brooks had found the courage to shout for his sister, no punishment withstanding. Apparently, Zoey's heroism had changed teh mind of teh elementary school boys watching the whole match from the sidelines.

* * *

**1.3.5 After The Match**

The whole mess was over, and the girls had just won by a landslide, although only Zoey Brooks and Dana Cruz were active.

Ferguson wanted those two girls to join the squad.

Zoey accepted the selection voluntarily, and she was going to be the point guard.

On the other hand, Dana was not sure whether to join or not.

My intuition told me that Dana would have preferred to become a cheerleader, nd that she had come to Pacific Coast Academy precisely for that reason. But I was not going to talk to her about it, as she was a bully and by no means willing to listen to me. Maybe talking top Zoey would have been more reasonable? I decided to give it a rtry, sort of.

* * *

**1.4 102 Butler Hall**

* * *

**1.4.1 Dana The Cheerio**

I caught the blond Mary Sue after the next breakfast.

By the way, breakfast time at Pacific Coast Academy was extremely cool, there was a buffet we were allowed to pick from, and we were allowed to eat either inside the cafeteria hall, or on the campus, which was replete with banks and tables.

Indeed, Zoey listened to me, although she was consternated upon my revelation. "Dana wants to be a cheerio girl?"

I nodded solemnly. "I know, this is just my … erm … intuition. But I see that she is really keen on combining her athletic prowess with elegance and rhythm.

Zoey gasped. "I would not have thought that … but OK, it will make some sense." Of course, she would have to get Dana to admit to it. She was supposed to talk to her in order to persuade her into joining the basketball team. Especially after the expulsion of Logan, the team would be too feeble without Dana. By the way, she was goin to try to talk Dean Rivers into refraining from confirming the expulsion of Logan from the basketball squad. "I know he is a rude jerk, and I still feel the pain of being pushed into the dirt. But the team needs him, and the sectionals are not far, so it is better to have him back as soon as possible."

I sighed deeply, as I had hoped Zoey to show less mercy, and I feared that she was going to pay for this. But I did not really know what I was talking about, even less how I should make Zoey believe it.

The charming blonde looked at her eating tools. "Malika, I know that the spoon had been straight when I picked it from the cafeteria."

I whistled innocently. Unfortunately, things like spoon bending just happened, and I was unable to control it. This was definitely something that needed to be changed, otherwise I would wreak quite some involuntary disaster.

* * *

**1.4.2 Division By Three**

As aforementioned, occupying a dormitory room for yourself was by absolutely no means normal for students at Pacific Coast Academy, as all rooms were meant for three students. Only the impossibility of dividing certain numbers by three lead to exceptions. This had been the case for me, as the amount of sixth grade girls left a remainder of one when divided by three, and that superfluous one person happened to be me.

There was a similar case for the eighth grade girls, and the one in excess was aforementioned geek girl Quinn Pensky, more or less accidentally from Seattle like me.

Quinn used this situation in order to fill the whole room with her laboratory equipment. She was infamous for making lots of more or less useful inventions. Well I did not know about all that, as of yet, but I soon would.

Anyways, Zoey pitied Quinn for being stuck alone in her room, and so she asked me to move in with her, as I was also a single room girl.

Apparently, the boarding management was not inclined to combine pupils of different grades in one dormitory room.

But for now, I followed Zoey's request and got mty belongings together in order to move in with the nerd girl, against my better judgment.

Zoey had talked Coco Wexler, the dormitory adviser responsible for us girls, into allowing for the room change. Usually, this would have been the task for the boarding administration, while chubby mess Coco was just an underpaid henchman.

Clearly, given Leo Bradford's erstwhile categorial rejection of the concept of coeducation, it was little wonder that he had tried to spend as little money as possible on the establishment of the girls's dormitory rooms, and in the necessary additional staff.

* * *

**1.4.3 Quinnventions**

So, this was Quinn Pensky's laboratory — as I would have thought — or rather her dormitory room.

The cell was chock full with test tubes and devices. Most of them had been built by the geek girl herself.

I wondered where all those tools and gadgest had come from.

Some of them had already been assembled by the nerd girl back in uptown Seattle. "A lot of it will be sent to me during the following weeks." Indeed, she was unwrapping parcels containing scientific equipment on a daily base.

Other stuff was ordered from a certain Calvin Coozeman,[1:8] a student at nearby California Institute For Technology in Pasadena.

Quinn proudly introduced a few of her inventions, or, as she called them, "Quinnventions".

Of course I lacked the scientific knowledge to make sense of her words whenever she was about to talk about the gory details.

Finally, I was done arranging my belongings. I had got probably less space for doing so when comapared to most other girls, inspite of having only one room mate to share the dormitory cell with, but Quinn's laboratory equipment took up most of the available volume.

I wondered, "why don't you use the science club and the school's laboratory?"

Quinn xplained, "I would do so, but … Wayne Gilbert is opposed to that."'footnoteWayne Gilbert alias "Fire Wire" does so in _Zoey 101_: _Robot Wars_.

I scratched my head. "Who is Wayne Gilbert?"

Quin replied, "oh, Wayne is the captain of the science club, and he prefers to keep it boys only. According to the creep, girls are no good for science."

I did not doubt that Quinn believed that, but I was sure that Wayne, whoever that was, must have had some obscure motivations for this.

* * *

**1.4.4 Controlled**

I woke up toweards the end of the night, ere the rise of sun, and I noticed some weird electrodes in my skin, all over my head. "What is going on?" Well, I had had the feeling that Quinn would use everyone in sight for her experiments.

She was working on weird theories, such as the emotions of food. Well, was my paranormal prowess any less weird? Most people would doubt that, and thus I was better someone not to object.

Quinn woke up as well, and she explained that she was minitoring my dreams and my cerebral actovity while asleep. She was also working on even stranger scientific theories about sleeping.

I will have to tell you more details about those, but only later on.

Quinn picked her jumping rope. "This will make my brain vibrate, and I totally like it." She removed the electrodes from my head and applaied them to hers. "I am even able to demonstrate how rope jumping influences my brain activities. Do you want to see?"

I shrugged. "If it makes you happy …"

There was really some huge difference caused by her physical activity.

Quinn as not a great basketball player, but this did not mean that she did not take gym serious. She talked about the connection between cerebral activity and oxygen. Then she started talking about her breakfast eggs. She was even keeping a hen for that purpose. "You may have breakfats with me!"

I choked. "I think I have just turned into a vegan."

Quinn shrugged. "OK, whatever you say …"

I was happy to be out of there again.

* * *

**1.4.5 Zoey's Problems**

I met Zoey in the cafeteria and told her about my night at Quinn's.

She was surprised that I had survivbed it without going even more nuts. "Electrodes in your head? Really? She is crazy!"

I nodded solemnly. "I do not think she wants me much longer in her dormitory room."

Zoey was tortured by three other problems.

First, her room mates Nicole and Dana were constantly fighting. Dana was a mess, while Nicole was reckless. Zoey was standing always in their crossfire, which was not a pleasure.

Second, Dustin was begging her for money. He had spent too much of it on candy, and now he was flat broke.

Zoey mentioned that Dustin had started tutoring middle school kids in Spanish. "I bet that all he knows is from some Mexican soap with subtitles. He will wreak nothing but disappointment and anger."

I sighed. "Poor Dustin …"

Chase bounded in. He seemed to try to spend as much time as possible with Zoey, without having to admit to his fluffy feelings.

Zoey's third problem was that she often forgot her dormitory key in her room. This was a catastrophe, bcause the doors could only get opened from the inside without a key. Once you shut it, it locked itself for anyone standing on the wrong side of the door.

OK, I did not want to bother Chase and Zoey, as I was very busy today.

* * *

**1.4.6 Fire Weirdo**

So, this was the hideout of Wayne Gilbert, a nerd that did not want girls in his science club.

At Ridgeway, my former district school, clubs were basically open for girls and boys, as described in the school's constitution, of whose consequent implementation Principal Franklin took thoroughly care.

But this was the first year of coeducation at erstwhile boys-only Pacific Coast Academy, and the school's rules had not been adapted to the new situation, barring a rule that said that boys were not allowed to the girls' dormitory rules, and vice versa, beyond the mark of eight o' clock. Well, this was not actually a new rule, as the same order had always applied for female visitors from outside the illustrious boarding school.

And all rules, gathered in a booklet titled _Da Rules_,[1:9] had to be approved by no other than Leo Bradford. Well, and exactly that creep was hardly going to give girls more allowances than hitherto granted.

Of course, Wayne was not really friendly when I intruded into his kingdom, the laboratory of the school's science club. "No girls in this club! I already booted Quinn, and what goes for her, goes for everyone else! Besides, I am to be called Fire Wire!"

I asked, "why don't you allow us to your club?"

Of course he repeated the same nonsense that he had already told Quinn.

But for me , it was clear that he had got a different reason. "You may tell that your grandma, but not us irls here." Suddenly, I sensed what was going on. "You have been heart broken, like … you have been turned down not too long a go … by some nerd girl, right?"

Wayne exploded, "the devil must have told you."

I grinned. "Oh, maybe …"

Wayne moaned, "OK, her name is …" He panted like a rusty steam engine. "Melinda Crenshaw."

I had never heard of her, and my intuition did not help me any further. It was just a name, and I had not yet learned to see more in a name than just a jew letters in a particular order.

Wayne explained, "Two years ago, she beat me at the California science fair for middle school kids." He explained the scientific details of their invention presented upon that event, of course talking way above my capacity of uderstanding. "I knew she was the kind of girl I had been waiting for, but she …" He started weeping.

It must have hurt him, but I did not quite understand why Quinn was supposed to suffer from Mindy's decision.

Anyways, I made the dary decision. "If I bring Mindy back to you, will you allow Quinn to the science club?" What, pray tell, had caused me to make promises of that sort. Of course I was not able to bend Mindy's will. In the case of Chase, it was a lot easier, for he had suffered a lot from having to refrain from supporting Zoey, and I had known it very well and just got him to do what he had really wanted to. But I knew still next to nothing about Melinda Crenshaw except that she lived in San Diego county and went to Belleview High.

Wayne alias Fire Wire cackled nervously. "But of course! Deal! You have got one year for that. Girls will be allowed to the science club right now, but if you fail …"

I shrugged and walked away, not wanting to know about the due punishment for flunking my attempts of keeping those excruciatingly daring promises.

OK, for the time being, Quinn was allowed to move her laboratory and her experiments into a more suited place on the campus, making life in her dormitory room, 101 Butler Hall, a trifle less miserable for me. But my debts were high, and the stakes for failing in making up for them were probably terrible.

* * *

**1.4.7 Cheerleading**

I had been right about Dana, and the tomboy had admitted to it. Her proper dream was that of becoming a body builder and a supermodel for sportswear. Being a cheerio appeared to her as a great preparation for such a career.

Currently, the competition for the squad was not yet that big. There was not even a female cheerio trainer, and Coach Keller,[1:10] a grumpy male jock, was in charge of the squad.

Dana passed his test easily. But it was still necessary to hire a few cheerios from other schools, and I hoped that this was going well.

* * *

**1.5 Ursine Threat**

* * *

**1.5.1 Confess Or Stress**

The girls' lounge here looked fairly comfy, and thus I spend a few hours in it.

Zoey and her grade mates were playing a stupid game they named _Confess Or Stress_. They had to turn casting dice, and, depending on the outcome, either confess something embarrassing, or to commit an embarrassing or unpleasant task chosen by the fellow players.

Their confessions and tasks were really too disgusting to even talk about.

In addition, the girls were apparently fairly hungry. Now they had ordered sushi from a Japanese bar on the campus, which was run by a certain Kazu.

I did not known whether that was a first name or a surname, if there was such a thing in Japan, anyways.

Of course the chef was not able to do the deliveries, this was the task of the boys working for him.

And in this moment, the delivery boys walked in with the load of sushi. Those guys were Chase and Logan, and they did not just come with food, but also with a giant plush bear. To be more precise: Logan did nothing, while Chase had to carry it all.

Logan excused himself for having been mean to the girls during the last days, especially the basketball match. He had been pardoned upon Zoey's intervention and was thus back in the basketball team. In order to make up for everything, he was donating the giant plush bear for our lounge.

The eighth grad kids looked all totally pleased.

Alas, I knew that it was wrongf to trust an inconsiderate jerk like Logan. His gift was really a bait of some sort.

Was it not already totally weird to see Logan work for his money? Well, indeed, he did not work, he let Chase do it all. But he did definitely not need whatever Kazu was able to pay him.

The whole thing stank from head to toes, and it was up to me finding out how.

The plush bear was not a jinxed prince or something like that, so it was not possible for me to read its mind.

* * *

**1.5.2 Warning Quinn**

Before going to sleep, I told Quinn about my fears. "The plush bear is fishy …"

I should have avoided that term, after the girls had eaten sushi.

Quinn just laughed her butt off.

I continued, "I sense that Logan is dishonest. The gift is dangerous."

Quinn wondered, "oh, dangerous like what? Explosive? Toxic? Radioactive?"

I gasped. "Explosive nuclear poison maybe?"

Quinn still had got a hard time believing me. "Logan is a jerk and a filthy creep, but I don't think he would go anywhere near that far. I think he just wants to boast with his credit card … not a nice thing, but harmless."

I was still not convinced. "I don't know, but he is up to something we don't like."

Quinn sighed deeply. "I will submit the bear to some scientific examination, if that eases your mind."

I moaned, "sure, but be careful and wear protective gears while doing so."

Quin had got a functioning ABC mask and other protective gear in her wardrobe, and I now really was glad for that. Everyone else called her weird for that content of her closet. But somethimes weirdness was an advantage.

* * *

**1.5.3 ABC**

Quinn was not wasting a minute, and she stormed into the lounge during breakfast time, complete with her combat suit.

Many girls squealed for dismay, and they started running away for panic.

I tiold them, "attention! There are hints that there's a bomb or something like that hidden in this rooms. Please leave this place, one by one and without causing too much turmoil …"

That was mere wishful thinking, as the kids were panic-stricken from head to toe.

I left now Quinn alone with her uncanny task of reasearching the giant plush bear.

Zoey asked me, "what is going on here?"

Nicole remarked, "the bear was so cute, wasn't it cute? Zoey? Can't you tell Malaika hopw cute the bear is?"

I growled, "Malika … my name is Malika. This is of semitic origin and means something like _queen_.On the other hand, _Malaica_ means something like _angel_."

The bimbo wench was looking totally dumbfounded, but nothing was going to convince her of a potential danger hidden in the bear.

Zoey banged her head against the wall. "And I was so stupid and forgive Logan to have pushed me into the dirt, just to get the whole lounge poisoned and blown up."

I sighed. "Really, I don't know what is in the bear, and Quinn needs to check it. But my intuition tells me that the plush beast is a bait, and not a gift. I sense the bad vibes in Logan's intentions."

Nicole wondered, "but Logan is so cute."

Dana grunted, "he is a jerk."

Nicole countered, "but a cute jerk, yeah!"

Zoey moaned, "I can't bear the suspenese anymore … oops!"

Finally, Quinn returned from the lounge, removing her mask and her other protections. "OK, I have not found any signs of poison, explosives, epidemic germs, or radioactivity hidden in the plush beast."

Nicole glared at me. "Because of you, we had to … now you owe Logan some apology for upsetting all the girls against him!"

Quinn continued, "but there is some metal within, and probably electronics. I do not yet know for what purpose it is."

Nicole smiled. "Oh, it will be a remote control that allows the bear to move and welcome us with a smile and a cuddle. I love being cuddled and smiled at, especially by fluffy things. Don't you like it too?"

Dana growled, "or the bear may move and devour you … in one piece, if you are lucky."

Nicole startled. "Not cool!"

Dana continued, "well, real bears would spit you out again, as they can't stand your bimbo talk in their stomach."

Along came Chase. "Logan says that he is sick today, so I have to carry all the deliveries,"

Zoey gasped. "OK, girls, we will go to Sushi Rox tonight instead of ordering food. In the meanwhile, Quinn will examine the fluffy beast a bit more."

Nicole moaned, but she like sushi rox, regardless where.

* * *

**1.5.4 Naughty Rumours**

During the preceding hours, I had heard many boys talking about the girls' secret reveiled last night in the lounge.

I was sure that Zoey would walk up the walls and stright through the roof upon hearing all that.

There had been no boys there, so there must have been a traitor.

Quinn concluded, "I have found some telecommunication device inside the bear. It must be used for espionage."

That made sense. Logan had apparently filled the bear with microchips or whatever was needed.

Zoey wondered, "and I have deemed Logan too dumb for this."

I sighed. "too dumb, sure, but not too poor to pay someone for this."

Quinn banged her head against the table. "Wayne Gilbert … alias Fire Wire … I should have thought about this possibility beforehand, especially as the telecommunication used by the bear uses fire wire technology."

I did not understand anything about that technology, or any other for that purpose.

Quinn explained that she had now disposed with the evil bear.

Zoey sighed deeply. "I would have loved to use it in order to fool Logan …"

But this would not have much sense now. The whole mayhem caused by Quinn's examination of the plush beast had warned Logan already that we had turned suspicious.

But Zoey and Quinn declared that Logan and Wayne would have to pay for this misdeed, "An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth!"

Nicole moaned. "Ouch! You can't do that to Logan, he is too cute for that!"

Dana glared at her room mate. "You're sickening me!"

This time, my sixth sense had saved the middle school girls from a bunch of humiliation. But I was not sure whether my mysterious intuition would cause more trouble or more bliss in the future. In any case, my quest was to learn to control my paranormal abilities. But I was not aware of a way of doing so.

* * *

**1.6 Bullies**

* * *

**1.6.1 The Gambler**

I walked the campus yard, which was partly paved with cobblestones.

Dustin brooks, the little brother of Zoey, was sitting alone at the fringe of the campous fountain.

I sensed that he was nagged by something, so I sat down next to him, trying to cheer him up. "Hi Dustin!"

The boys sighed deeply. "You are Malaria, right?"

I choked. "Malika is may name, while _malaria_ is _some tropical disease_. The word itself is dreived froman italian word for _bad air_."

Dustin moaned, "sorry, it won't happen again."

I smiled. "Your sister's class mates are not much better here."

Dustin shrugged. "OK, so, what are you doing here?"

I answered, "I thought you were a bit depressed, and so …"

Dustin nodded. "Don't tell my sister about it, will you?"

I shook my head. "Sure not. But I thought you adored Zoey."

Dustin sighed deeply. "Certainly, I missed her all the time when she was far away, buut now … she is so protective and would mess with everything."

I shrugged. "So, you are still out of money?"

Dustin shook his head. "Last week, you said that you had got the feeling that the football team of Los Angeles would lose the match against the team of Alabama, against all odds. I pawned grandma's wrist watch, and bet everything on the teamn from Bama. And I won it all. I think I should make more money this way, it is cool."

I choked. "Erm … addiction to gambling is never any good."

He looked at me with disappointment. "But don't tell Zoey!"

I sighed deeply. "So, if it's not for the money …"

Dustin moaned:

* * *

I am in the algebra team, and Dean Rivers sent me into the uppermwen class in order to prepare for the sectionals.

That is cool.

But there is that bully guy, Keith Finch.[1:11] He forces me to make all his homework and more, because I am smarter.

I have worked through all evening, and I will sure have to pull an all nighter in order to learn French for his homework.

* * *

I coughed. "Keith will pay for this."

* * *

**1.6.2 Voudon Doll**

OK, I did not know whether it worked, but I was just angry enough at keith Finch to try it, anyways. I made a plasticine figure in the likeness of Keith. Well, I did not really know what the creep looked like, I just imagined that it was in his likeness. Then I picked up a few needles and poked them into his supposedly most sensitive spots, muttering some bad words underneath my breath. Then it was time for falling asleep.

* * *

**1.6.3 The Bleeding Creep**

The day after, I walked the campus again.

Dustin ran my way. "Wow, Keith could not come to classes. I have heard that he is sick and has got painful wounds, especially between his legs." He rinned. "Serves him well!"

I agreed wholeheartedly. But I was also shocked because it had actually worked.

Anyways, there were better ways for Dustin to learn some upperclass algebra than sharing a class room with dirty bullies like Keith.

Quinn Pensky for example was certainly able to teach him quite a bit, saving him from any further confrontation with teh disgusting bullies,

But would Finch really learn his lessons? Time would tell me that he did, at least at Pacific Coast Academy. But he would soon get kicked off, anyways, and then.

In the case of Dana Cruz, another bully, I was not sure she had learned much yet, so I was better a bit careful.

* * *

**1.7 Bad Boys**

* * *

**1.7.1 Frightening Wakeup**

I woke up some morning after a night during which I had sensed that something bad would happen to our dormitory block, and that Logan Reese was once more behind it.

Honestly, there was nothing bad Logan could surprise us with, at least not me.

Unfortunately, most of the other girls had not yet understood that, especially bimbo wench Nicole Bristow. Zoey, on the other hand, was way too much forgiving, as we had seen after she had been pushed rudely into the dirt by Logan Reese. And the incident with the espionage in our lounge was also forgiven and forgotten.

Suddenly, girls yelled in the walkway, "our house walls are all polluted and stained with used toilet paper!"

For me, the culprit was immediately clear.

Of course, Logan had hardly done thw whole dirty work over night on his own, but he had certainly got the bucks to pay his henchmen for doing all that for his sake.

Quinn was immediately keen on requesting revenge. "We will remove Logan's kidneys, surgically!"

I wondered, "which surgeon?"

Quinn grinned. "Me, of course! I have got a license to kille … are to assis Doctor Glazer[1:12] in surgeries." She showed me the certificate confirming her claim.

I wondered, "who is Doctor Glazer?"

Quinn shrugged. "I never met him. But when it was clear that I would move to Califoprnia, I looked up the Californian list of medics looking for a deputy, and I applied, providing a list of my medical knowledge and experiences."

Of course I coukld have made a voudon doll of LOgan Reese, but I felt that I had already gone out of my way with Keith Finch.

Anyways, I felt that Quinn's idea was not that much better.

* * *

**1.7.2 Week Of Pranks**

At breakfast, it was revealed that there was a stupid tradition at Pacific Coast Academy, according to which new students were submitted to cruel pranks during this one week of the year. And this year, all girls were of course new at Pacific Coast Academy.

Zoey tried once more to make the onslaught instigated by Logan Reese more harmless than it was.

In addition, Chase and Michael were admitting to being as much behind the attempts upon our sanity as the rich spoiled brat, but for anyone with at l;east half of a brain, it was utterly obvious that Logan Reese was the one to coomand the others guys around the campus.

* * *

**1.7.3 Making Unconscious**

Quinn had got another idea. She wanted to throw some sort of bomb into the boys' dormitory hall in order to make the guys drop unconscious. "I think of it as a time triggered bomb. It would explode at some point and emit accoustic waves, preferrably inaudibble frequences, with the ability of neutralising the human brain activity for some time."

I shuddered. But I still was not sure whether my voudon onslaught on Keith's health was much less cruel and shocking than Quinn's plans.

Honestly, I doubted that this was the case.

But nothing I said would change Quinn's plans of revenge, anyways.

* * *

**1.7.4 The Monument**

I walked close to the boys' residence hall, next to a more than mansized sculpture of — as I would come to know later on — the founder of pur school and father of landlord Leo Bradford.

Zoey, Dana, Nicole, Natsumi, and a few others were disciussing the situation. Apparently, they had been fed up by more onslaughts initiated by Logan Reese.

Zoey had got a plan. "We will ornate this brass statue duly, with woman's clothes and paint."

Nicole, Natsumi, and Dana nodded wholeheartedly.

I coughed. "what if this sculpture is cursed, and fumbling with it will gwt you into trouble … not today, not this year, but sometime later on, when you expect it most?"

Dana coughed. "Dream on! There is no such thing as curses!"

I glared at Dana. "Believe what you want to, I know that this sculpture here represents a bad omen."

Zoey shrugged. "Whose statue is it anyways?"

None of us girls knew it, so I suggested Zoey to ask her little brother.

Dana growled, "Dustin is certaibnly working together with Logan and his henchmen!"

Zoey looked at her roomie. "My brother isn't that mean."

Nicole smiled. "Dustin is cute … so cute!"

Zoey glared aghast at her best friend. "What?"

Nicole coughed. "Oh, sorry, a bee must have stung me,"[1:13]

Zoey shrugged, but she decided to call him anyways.

The little bugger told us that it belonged to our founder, and he wondered why.

Zoey gasped. "I don't think Dean Rivers would like it."

We did not know that Rivers and Leo Bradford were up to inspecting the monument the very next day. Otherwise we girls would have been in serious troubles, and not just in some indefinite future, but the very next day. But it was obvious that no school would tolerate staining the memory of its founder as soon as the disgrace was discovered, and thus we decided to skip the plans, and to support Quinn Pensky. Otherwise the girl hating creep would have probably expelled us all.

* * *

**1.7.5 Unconscious**

One night and one day had passed since the decision of avoiding trouble with Leo Bradford. Now it was eight o'clock and thirty minutes post meridiem.

Quinn had worked hard on her invention. She looked at her wrist watch. "Blowup in five … four … three … two"

I wondered about the absence of the "one".

Band, the thing blew up.

OK, it was teh end of the day, but why were we suddenly that much more tired than before?

Clearly, Quinn had miscalculated the necessary charge for the bomb, and the inaudible waves were penetrating the whole campus, not just the boys' dormitory room.

My world went dark. At least we girls would wake up a lot asooner and be able to celebrate the kind of revenge.

* * *

**1.8 Advertisement**

* * *

**1.8.1 Lateness**

After the partly backfiring attempts to get back at the boys, the prank week had come to an end anyways.

The male creeps were now aware of Quinn's powers as an engineer and scientist.

Even Wayne Gilbert had learned his lesson.

I noticed Zoey, Danam, and Nicole rush by me. They were late for their first period.

This was typical for Lana and Nicole, and they had even infected Zoey.

OK, maybe there were exercises like meditation allowing them to wake up in time. If I had been a master witch, I would have trained them, but I was at most a fledgling thaumaturge, unable to understand my own abilities.

Quinn hed by the way implanted a programmable alert clock into her head, allowing her to wake up in time. But Zoey woulkd not have loved this solution, let alone Nicole or Dana.

In any case, the first period started for most kids at eight o' clock ante meridiem, which was not always easy to reach.

* * *

**1.8.2 Qualitech**

Big break had come, and I crossed once more the ways of Zoey Brooks, who was busily discussing some project with her room mates.

Mr. Bender, their teacher for public reelationships and mass media, forced them to prepare a publicity clip for a product of Qualitech, one of the most busy sponsors of Pacific Coast Academy.

Jacob Savage,[1:14] a leading business manager of that enterprise, had appeared during their classes in order to present that product: A scooter named Jet-X.

The kids were now working in teams of three. For example, Zoey, Dana, and Nicole formed one team, while Logan, Michael, and Chase formed another squad.

The group presenting the best clip by the end of the week would even win something, more precisely, one scooter of the new sort each.

I shook my head. I would have been too young for using one of those hell machines. Contrary to nowadays poopular believe, I was neither able to ride a broom stick, nor to appear and disappear in a puff of smoke, at least not yet.

Zoey had already got some idea for the costumes for the publicity clip. She was apparently a wonderfully gifted fashion designer.

But their main problem was of course the fact that Nicole and Dana in the same team would inevitably end up in a major catastrophe.

Zoey was up to hiring Quinn for the technical production of the pictures.

OK,all that sounded nice, but I had not got a great opinion about Qualitech. Yeah, they were sponsors of our school, just like Pear Electronics, Daka Footwear,[1:15] and Blix Softdrinks. But what were the real motivations of those enterprises?

* * *

**1.8.3 Bristow Juices**

During the shootings for the promotional video, Nicole Bristow reveiled that her father was running one of the biggest juice factories in the predominantly rural states.

I wagered that the interests of said enterprise conflicted squarely with Blix. This — or so I sensed — was probably not going to be without some trouble.

Nicole emphasised that they were going to turn very thirsty, and her dad would be able to donate them some juices. This was her response to the fact of Logan using his money and his connections in order to hire a professional team for producing his contribution to the project, leaving Michael and Chase with side roles.

Logan even hired professional actor Jeff Garrett[1:16] for starring in the promotional video clip.

Dana did not approve of Nicole's interjections.

In addition, the three girls had different opinions about the adantages of Jet-X.

Zoey loved the independence and mobility offered by having your own scooter.

For Dana, speed and recklessness was all that counted. Honestly, nobody should allow someone like Dana Cruz to ride a motorised vehicle. She was intentionally ruthless and brutal, a danger for the traffic. This was especially valid here on our campus. I sensed big problems induced by her style.

Nicole wanted to use the machine for appearing cool and attracting cute boys.

This was lead inevitably to conflicts that made a further collaboration close to impossible.

Quinn was now forced to triple her work. This was no good for her mood, and I sensed that she would suffer a lot on the long run from being torn between three so-called friends. The price for socialising was — or at least so much I was able to figure beforehand — very high, although it was not yet perceivable to what it would amount.

* * *

**1.9 Drama**

* * *

**1.9.1 Hollywood And PCA**

I have already mentioned a few sponsors pf Pacific Coast Academy, among them Malcolm Reese, the father of Logan. Malcolm was by far not the obly sponsor comming from the Hollywood business. A project like the aforementioned contest for a promotional video clip. which, by the way, had been won by Zoey's team after a cruel all nighter pulled by Zoey Brooks immediately before the deadline. Logan's video had been too much in the style of adult Hollywood movies.

I wondered why those entertainment vendors were so keen on sponsoring our school. This was especially a valid concern as there were a few schools in Los Angeles particularly suited for future Hollywood stars.

This was especially valid for Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, whose name already betrayed its scope as related to the business with organised dreams and illusions.

Malcolm was also a massive sponsor over there, like all significant Hollywood producers.

Another important school for future movie stars and similar junk was Palmwood Springs, properly a Hotel for future stars. But this one was sponsored by the trades union of Hollywood professionals, not by the producers.

I suspected, though, that there was some intersection underneath.

Malcolm Reese had probably got some personal motivations for sponsoring Pacific Coast Academy in addition to Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts. His father, a retired teacher for chemistry at California Institute For Technology,[1:17] had been one of the first graduates at Pacific Coast Academy. Thus there was some sort of a family tradition to be continued with Logan.

Another important reason wasa the fact that many parents were — in my eyes not without reason — biased against schools like Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, as it would encourage kids to envision a flaky and volatile career at the cost of a rock solid education for trades in public administration, business, or industry. Also, many Hollywood talents were only discovered at a much later age.

Indeed, no prep school near Los Angeles was free of the impact of teh Hollywood business, and even district schools were keen on their clubs and electives related to that business, much more than the average school throughout the country.

* * *

**1.9.2 Our Drama Club**

So, one of the evidences for the close connections with Hollywood was the drama club of Pacific Coast Academy.

Granted, most school, even in backwater states like Kansas that were far away from Hollywood, or, alternatively, the Broadway in New York City, had got something like that.

But our drama club was infinitely more professional than any rural comedy workshop. Malcolm's dad himself, as a middle school student, had started his future Hollywood career as a silent background actor in said club. And there were of course a whole bunch of Hollywood stars, be it in front of or behind the stages, who had been members of our drama club at some point in history.

* * *

** The Adviser**

Our current teacher for drama was Fletcher St. Troy,[1:18] He had been a mediocre yet professional Hollywood actor over a decade ago, but he got flung from his job by producer Brad Eichner,[1:19] on and off principal of Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts.

Fletcher St. Troy was hell bent on showing his former colleagues that he had been unlawfully booted from the professional stage, and that he was still a lot better than any of them. And this attitude determined his endavour in our drama club.

We had already got a few guest stars, videlicet Hollywood or Broadway professionals working with us on or off the stage for one play only.

Fletcher was of course particularly keen on impressing those guys, as it would teach Eichner and other former critics of his acting prowess a lesson.

My understanding was that his vindicatory ambitions, albeit to some degree a boon for some of our students, were overall a big obstacle that made him biased beyond any reason. This of course was no good feature for someone tryin g to teach us kids.

Unfortunately, I had not yet got a proof for his inappropriate prejudices. And even if I had been able to demonstrate his not so suitable attitude, I would not have known what to do with it. I feared that Dean Rivers was not exactly caring about that, and even less Leo Bradford. In other words, I would have had to engge in a fight against wind mills, just like the good old hero of Miguel de Cervantes' most popular romance: Don Quixote.

* * *

** Plays To Be Performed**

Mentioning the name of a historical spanish romance writer leads me forcelessly to the next step: Thje plays to be performed in pour drama club did of coursenot spring from the middle in the land of nowhere right into our arms.

Of cpurse the great classic of dramatic literature of the past centuries were forever popular at our drama clubs, and _The Adbentures Of Don Quixote_ was among those that had already been performed in our club, along with — or nobody would doubt that — the major works of the one and only forever greatestEnglish playwrights and poets, the one and only William Shakespeare. Of course I knew quite a few others and no less wonderful playwrights that had set the milestomnes in English literature, such as John Milton or Lord Byron, the latter being my all time favourite among the English playwrights.

I would have preferred to see more dramatic versions of the great American romance writers of the nineteenth century, especially Nathaniel Hawthorne, Edgar Allan Poe, Herman Melville, and Walt Whitman. But mothing like that would ever happen under the advisership of Fletcher St. Troy.

* * *

**1.9.3 Zorka The Zorkesian**

Today, the drama teacher announced the upcoming play. He was — according to his own words — very proud of annopuncing that his choice fell on a drama written by one of our students in the framework of English classes.

The play was titled _Zorka_, and it was the story of an alien girl named Zorka, from the planet of Zorkesia, that had shipwrecked, if that word was applied appropriately in the context of space ships, on planet Earth. Well, the vehivcle was supposed to have dropped into the ocean, and the girl was saved by a terrestrian life guard.

It did not take much fantasy, even less much of my sixth sense, to guess that there was a very close connection between the words _Zorka_ and _Zoey Brooks_.

In other words, Chase had got Zoey in mind when writing the play, which was little of a surprise, as his thoughts had been spinning like in a swoon or wild fraenzy around nothing but the blond Mary Sue since their very first accidental encounter on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy.

Of course I had read this fact off Chase's mind, more or less involuntarily.

But it should have been, if not totally obvious, then at least fairly suspicious, for anyone one the campus encountering both Zoey and Chase on a daily base.

After all, I guessed that Zoey Brooks, inspite of having been on friendly terms with the bushy dork since the first moment, was more or less blind to his feelings for her. I also guessed that Chase was up to playing the lifeguard. especially because the end of the play was featuring a lingering kiss of the baywatch and the alien girl. So, what should I have thought of this demeanour? I was convinced that Zoey would have preferred a guy fessing up the straight way over sneaking a kiss from her.

Was it better for me to keep my mouth shut concerning Chase Matthews's insensate crush on Zoey Brooks? This question would cause me more and more headaches with the progressing course of my life at Pacific Coast Academy.

The auditions were still to come, but Chase Matthews was already deadly secure in the knowledge that Zoey would play Zorka, and that he would be the luckt one to portray the heroic life guard and thus finally sneak a kiss from the unwary object of his ardent desires.

* * *

**1.9.4 Auditions**

* * *

** The Perfect Alien Girl**

The auctions for the rôle of Zorka were now complete, and Zoey had made it indeed.

This was certainly no surprise at all, for the most obvious reason.

Zoey was not really a good actress, but she was at least very convincing in portraying herself.

This was less of a tautology that it may seem, but in Zoey's case, there was no way around concluding that she just had to be herself in order to be the young woman envisioned as Zork by the playwright.

The other girls trying out for this rôle had been a total catastrophe: One of them was singing instead of talking, while the other one was yelling instead of either. And then there was a crossdressing boys, but that's a topic for later passages. There had been a lot of cross dressing in our drama club until the opening of Pacific Coast Academy for girls, as the only alternative for hiring guest actors from other schools such as Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts. But with Zoey aboard the ship, there was definitely no need for looking any further.

* * *

** Logan Versus Chase**

Inspite of his father's predominant rôle in the Hollywood business, Logan had not been interested in the drama club.

This sounded a bit strange, but there was an easy explanation I had not got a hard time kenning via my sixth sense.

Logan distinguished clearly stage acting in little theatres from acting on the big screen. If he went through the efforts of learning a text for a part in a drama, he needed to be sure that he was impressing as many girls as only possible with it, and he imagined that only a rôle in a successful movie was granting this amount of attention, and not one in front of a bunch of girls that were already familiar with him on a daily base. For that reason, Logan considered theater in front of a restricted audience as totally uncool, as opposed to the big screen, and he deemed Chase an utter loser for being into it.

Logan was by absolutely no means alone with this attitude.

This year, a certain Ashley Blake[1:20] was new at Pacific Coast Academy, and more precisely a fourth grade kid, exactly like Dustin Brooks. But inspite of her young age, she was already incredibly famous as a Hollywood star. She had starred in over a dozen of kid movies, such as _Queen Of Kids_. She was almost as spoiled as Logan Reese, and she refused to participate in this drama club because she only accepted the big screen as an appropriate medium for demonstrating her supreme acting abilities. This was of course one of the reason why Ashley had not been accepted by an apparently more appropriate school such as Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, inspite of her abilities.

Chase, of course, had defended himself against Logan's and deemed theatre a good thing.

And now Logan was here, trying out for the rôle as the lifeguard saving Zorka.

With the progress of Logan's audition, Chase was getting more and more nervous.

The spoiled dandy was performing exceedingly well in his audition for the rôle, and this was even clear for Chase Matthews.

Of course, Logan was not a perfect actor, either, but he was great at playing the baywatch because he happened to much like his rôle.

And I sensed that Logan's true motivation for the whole farce was not substantially different from Chase: He was up to kissing Zoey. But, completely unlike his room pal, Zoey did not want to do so because of liking Zoey, which he was nowghere near able to, but in order to make Chase suffer. Logan was nothing but an exorbitantly perverted sadist.

* * *

** Disappointed Chase**

But the bushy dweeb had got it totally coming.

Fletcher St. Troy had not got any other option but leaving the main character in Logan Reese's hand, and to displace Chase into the second row as a substitute for Logan.

Chase's feeling were now hurt twice. First, he could not bear being sidelined for Logan's advantage. Second, and worse than anything else, he could not bear the thought of Logan making out with Zoey, with everyone watching.

Fletcher St. Troy should have seen such a possibility coming, and yet he had allowed for such a stupid piece of theatre. This was clearly abuse of children.

I wondered whether Leo Bradford was willing to tolerate this. Such a stern conservative should wreak mayhem upon becoming aware of premarital kissing scenes on the stage.

Anyways, I felt the need of talking to Chase about the unholy mess, because I feared that he was not able to accept the decision of the drama teacher

* * *

**1.9.5 Talking To Chase**

I met the bushy dork after breakfast, and I sensed that he was really desperate. There was now no excuse for not talking to him, as it would have been irresponsible letting him knowingly run into some sort of catastrophe. "Chase, you have planned the play for yourself and Zoey as the main actors, because you have something for her, and now it hurts you seeing Logan and Zoey …"

He twitched and floundeed. "Never tell Zoey about it!"

I sighed deeply. "I won't, because you should do that. Zoey values honesty, whenever it comes down to it." But it was pointless, as Chase was apparently not yet ready for taking either of te possible consequences, and I sensed that.

Basically, Chase saw two possibilities:

Either he was turned down by Zoey, and then she would also put a sudden end to their friendship.[1:21] In this case, Chase would turn into the laughingstock of the whole school.

Or, on the other hand, Zoey could accept, and then Chase would feel envied by every boy for his unearthly girlfriend.

Chase thereupon admitted to having written Zorka as Zoey.

Unfortunately, he had written — and so I had to tell him — the character of the life guard in a way that he was not. "Your baywatch is just a nicer form of Logan, a person you would want to be, but whom you are not, not by any stretch of the word, really …"

The bushy bloke looked aghast.

Apparently, Chase would have needed to be one hell of an actor in order to be able to portray the guy he would have wanted desperately to be like.

Now he even had to swallow the fact that he wanted to be a lot more like Logan, something which was very hard, of course. he banged his head against the table.

Chase reported that he had tried to dissuade Zoey from participating in the play. This must have seemed weird in the mary Sue's eyes, as he had erstwhile begged her on his knees into auditioning as Zorka. That, of course, was back when he thought to be the one and only choice for the part of the life guard.

* * *

**1.9.6 Zoey And Logan — Maybe?**

In the girls's lounge, I had got the impression that Zoey was no longer sure that she hated Logan as much as she should have, quite the contrary.

What was worse: Dana and Nicole even encouraged the blond Mary Sue.

This was certainly a vital onslaught upon Chase's mood.

It was even hard for me to tell whether Zoey was seriously thinking about a lovey dovey relationship with the creepy sheik, but it was not hard for anyone with a brain to understand Chase's impending reactions to such a possibility.

* * *

**1.9.7 Sick Dustin**

* * *

** Rude Dana**

One more day had passed.

Quinn and I were in our room when we heard noises from next door, the dormitory room of Zoey, Nicole, and Dana.

According to my knowledge, Zoey and Nicole were not around, because Fletcher St. Troy had scheduled some extra practice unit for the impending première of _Zorka_.

Dustin was apparently trying to find his sister, but there was only Dana. Unfortunately, Dustin did not look very well, and he needed morst obviously Zoey's support badly.

Dana rudely shut the door into the face of her blond roomie's little brother. "Get away!"

Dustin sighed deeply, feeling completely lost.

Quinn asked the little guy, "Do you want me to help you? I have got some cool equipment in my secret laboratory, such as a vacuum cleaner that sucks and blows big germs."

Dustin shuddered for disgust. "OK, maybe …"

Quinn grabbed Dustin in order to drag him into the laboratory rooms. "Let's beat the bacteria out of your body, yeah!"

* * *

** Laying Hands**

I had not got a good feeling when thinking about Quinn and her ambitions in the field of surgery, and so I had followed the two of them onto the campus.

Not much later, Dustin almost ran over me. "Malika! Quinn has tortured me!" He coughed badly.

I had seen that coming.

Dustin explained, "she tickled my feet with some laser, and then she used a vacuum cleaner in order to suck bacteria off my tongue. Now it feels all dead." He showed me his tongue.

I sighed deeply. "She believes she can do that, just because she has got a license from Doctor Glazer."

Dustin coughed. "My uncle Glazer from san Diego?"

I had not known about that connection between the medic and the brooks kids, but, apparently there was one. Glazer was a twin brother of Zoey's and Dustin's dad.

Dustin explained, "Glazer has once stung Ashley with some huge syringe, making her fall asleep for five hours straight."

I sighed deeply. "Now you should go to the school nurse and get some salicylium."

Unfortunately, Dustin was afraid of the evil nurse, and he wanted to see his sister first.

I promised to walk him there.

Suddenly, Dustin had got another idea. "Hey, you always predict impossible outcomes of sports events, and I have already earned a fortune by betting. Who would have thought that the quarterback of the champion team would run away from a mouse with black and white stripes running across the forty yards line?"

I gasped. "Er … but you know, betting is a very bad addiction, ain't it?"

Duustin did not seem to care. "If you can do that, you may certainly cure my flu by laying hands over me. right?"

I gasped. "Er … I do not really think so …" I feared that the guy was expecting too much from me. I had never even tried to lay hands on anyone.

But Dustin begged so much, it was not possible to avoid at least trying, just in order to make him think that it worked somehow, so he stopped whining and tel his sister to take him to the infirmary, if he was to much afraid to face the perverted nurse all alone.

I concentrated deeply, and I lay my hands upon Dustin Brooks. "Vade retro me, Satana!" That was Latin, meaning something like "Get away, you devil!"

Bang!

All of a sudden, Dustin's cough was gone, and his face looked totally healthy again, no signs of sneeze, cold sweat, and tears.

The little guy yelled, "wow! Zoey! Zoey! You have to see that!"

I was glad for Dustin, but I did not want him to tell anyone about it, let alone yell it over the mountains.

* * *

**1.9.8 Kill Versus Kiss**

Then I met Chase again, who was apparently feeling more desperate than before.

The bushy bloke explained, "Michael had had that cool idea … it was my script, so he asked me to simply edit the end, you know, the kissing scene."

I nodded. "That sounds quite reasonable!"

Chase sighed deeply, "I did so, and I changed the ending by letting Zoey … er … Zorka not kiss, but kill the jerk … er … life guard. I pretended to have typoed the word. It happens to me all the time."

"Cool!" I grinned. "Did it work?"

Chase moaned deeply., "No way! According to Fletcher, a playwright has to know when the work is complete, making corrections afterwards is not possible."

I sighed deeply. "Enough is enough! I may think of one person able to stop the première."

Chase wondered, "and who would that be?"

I explained, "Leo Bradford, the very landlord of Pacific Coast Academy. It is impossible for someone like him to approve of boys and girls kissing on his campus, especially in the public!"

Chase sighed deeply. He knew that Leo Bradford was a totally unpleasant fellow, as we had seen from his speech a few days ago. But there seemed to be no way out.

And I sensed that getting the overlord involved was tantamount to stirring a whole host of additional trouble.

* * *

**1.9.9 Fired**

There were only ten minutes left until the start of the première of _Zorka_.

Logan was roaming the stage, boasting triumphantly. "Today, I will kiss Zoey!" Of course he could not await the eventual humiliation of Chase,

The audience was filling more and more.

Fletcher St, Troy talked to various teachers, preparing then for the big finael. "I promise, you will get goose pimples!"

The other teachers started getting totally excited.

Zoey was also excited, as she had been looking forward to thei performance for the whole week.

In this moment, Dean Carl Rivers and landlord Leo Bradford stumbled in through the main door.

Fletcher St. Troy stood up in order to greet them. He felt thoroughly honoured by the visitors.

Actually, Bradford's last visit to a performance of our drama club had already been over a dozen of years earlier, and it predated the begin of the office of Fletcher at Pacific Coast Academy.

The overlord coughed. "OK, so you are the drama teacher responsible for the choice and the preparation of this upcoming play?"

St. Troy nodded proudly. "Oh, yes, that was my choice, and you will not be disappointed whn watching this masterpiece. I may tell you, each and every viewer will contract goose pimples. The magics of the first kiss …"

Leo Bradford had to say a few words to the public, and he grabbed a microphone offered unto him by Wayne Gilbert, the student responsibvle for our stage technology.

Wayne smiled. "Sound check … sugar cake … sugar cake …"[1:22]

Bradford shook his head. "Don't waste my time, you freak! OK, students, teachers, and staff of Pacific Coast Academy, I am totally disappointed. I had always been against coeducation, and you know that. But, when, upon the pressure of my evil wife, I had given in and made the school open for girl, I had at least expected the minimum rules for social behaviour between boys and girls to be strictly obeyed to, And this means: No kisses or other sexual activities between boys and girls on the campus, except of married couples. And what do I have to see? This drama club does encourages all sorts of perversity and moral corruption. This teacher wants to instigate a boy and a girl to engage in premarital activities, in front of an audience consisting of many other teenagers or younger children. What am I supposed to say about this? I am disappointed. This is the first year of coeducation, and it is abused shamelessly for pornography and uncouth propaganda."

Fletcher St. Troy went deadly pale. "But the play was written by him!" he pointed at Chase.

Michael stood up. "You mean, Chase who has admitted to having commtted a typical typo? I mean, who has not yet confused killing and kissing?"

Chase explained, "Fletcher refused to accept the due corrections."

Bradford nodded solemnly. "Some people stand to their mistakes and are able to learn from them. Others again …" He looked sternly at the drama teacher.

Fletcher St. Troy tried to run away, but he was stuck in the mass of viewers.

Leo Bradford declared, "you are fired! I give you five hours to leave this campus, or I will have to call security guards. and don't even dare to come back!"

Zoey had gone pale. She cuddled Nicole tightly, looking comfert in her arms. But she scared the bimbo wench by this inappropriate demeanour and made her squeal.

I hoped that Zoey was able to realise how deep she had sunk during the last week by trusting a dandy that had already embarrassed her deliberately in the pubblic and pushed her rudely into thge dirt, and by neglected her one and only little brother, who had needed her badly.

Logan was certainly consternated because he had not found the occasion to humiliate his room mate and to abuse the Mary Sue, but something toild mne that he was not going to give up that easily.

Of course, the première of _Zorka_ was now cancelled and indefinitely postponed.

The drama club's activities were suspended until a new drama teacher was found, and from this moment, all scripts had to be submitted to teh overlord in person and await his approval.

By all means: That was quite some form of censorship, but, as I had anticipated, the whole thing was impossible to go out without a big bang.

So I had discovered a few more of my uncanny abilities, but I had still not found a way to control them.

* * *

**1.10 Quinn's Absurd Crush**

* * *

**1.10.1 Quinn's Weakness**

Not much more than a week had gone by since the failure of the première of _Zorka_. Dean Rivers had already announced the vacation of a job as a drama teacher, and the following canditates had applied so far, at least officially: Dingleberry Combover[1:23] from James K. Polk Middle School in Santa Clarita, Erwin Sikowitz from Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, Helen Baxter from Première Theater in San Diego.

The process of selecting a successor to booted St. Troy had just started, and it was a tedious one.

Quinn was sleeping peacefully in her bed. I had not seen that she would get interested in boys at this early point, if not for the simple reasons that boyfriends would just have distracted her from concentrating on her calculations and her experiments.

But I was badly mistaken. My uncanny senses told me that this was not going to go well, but warning Quinn at this point would have been for absolutely no avail.

The nerdy girl from my hometown was pretty much stubborn when it came to her plans which included a certain boy.

Until now, I had not been able to figure whom she was hankering after, but I better achieved in doin so before the next bigger catastrophe.

By all means, Quinn and the wrong boys were a certain catastrophe. In order to be suitable for a geek like Quinn, a boy needed to satisfy a lot of criteria, a broad knowledge and huge enthusiasm in various fields of science and technology. Otherwise, Quinn would get her brain criplled beyong any measure and turn slowly into crap.

Of course, Quinn had got an excuse for her devious demeanour. "I am studying social situations between male an dfemale members of the human species." But this was hardly believable, as she had never been interested much in humanities.

* * *

**1.10.2 Mark Del Figgalo**

OK, there he was, the boy on whom Quinn Pensky had got her mind set:

Mark del Figgalo was an eighth grade boy from a family of Italian migrants from nineteenth century. He looked quite uncomely and boring.

It was not really my business what Quinn saw in him.

Her way of approaching him was of course a bit weird, as she seemed to need to extract desoxyribonucleic samples off him in order to be able to perform some compatibility tests.

Mark was apparently not really pleased.

I remember that SDustin had once tried to teach Spanish to mark, without success, as Dustin's knowledge of the language was restricted to Mexican soap talk.[1:24] Likewise, I recalled that Mark Del Figgalo had showed up at the auditions for the rôle of Zorka, and got — of course — denied in no time by Chase and Fletcher St. Troy.

Queen was of course socially clumsy and did not find the right words in order to talk Mark into her arms, so she tried to get Zoey to help her with that.

A few moments later, Zoey told Quinn that Mark had agreed on a date for next Saturday afternoon. Allas, I knew that she was lying, probably because she imagined Quinn's disastrous reaction.

Really, Mark was not interested in Quinn because he had — according to my additional senses — already got a girlfriend. OK, this was weird, for which girl besides Quinn would voluntarily bother with a cross dressing guy like Mark del Figgalo?

Unfortunately, I could not tell Quinn about this fact without a credible proof for this.

* * *

**1.10.3 Killer Toad**

Dustin seemed to have a problem with animals. He had once been bit by a guppy, or something like that.

Now Chase and Michael made perversely fun of him. That was not tolerable, and it was clear that they had learned this perversity from noone other than ther valued room neighbour Logan Reese.

Oh, by the way, Chase was now back in Logan's dormitory room. Zoey had talked Logan into allowing him to return, just a bit after the incident with the plush bear.

Dustin was a bit embarrassed by his fears, so, inspite of better judgment, he offered to babysit Elvis,[1:25] a dog that had been adopted by Zoey, Nicole, Chase, and Michael just a few weeks ago.

Needless to say, pets were illegal at Pacific Coast Academy, and the beast had to be hidden from the staff of the school. For that reason, he was cycled from dormitory room to dormitory room in order to make it harder to detect him.

Dustin was trembling all over the place, and he thought about borrowing the heavy equipment of a hockey player, complete wuith faceguard and hockey stick, in order to protect himself against the carnivorous monster.

I knew about ghost whisperers and horse whisperers from some movies.[1:26] Was there also something like dog whisperers? I tried to look for some, and I sent Dustin to Mark in order to squueze any information about his girlfriend off him.

* * *

**1.10.4 The Dog Whisperer**

Researching teh interweb, I found pretty fast someone worthy of the title of a "dog whisperer". Her name was Megan Parker, and she was a girl in Dustin's age living in San Diego Belleview.[1:27] That was in California, but still a ride of several hours in a car, and thus not really easy to get at, but, on the oter hand, not too far for a weekend's trip, either.

A phone call reveiled that she had even got a few friends here at Pacific Coast Academy. These included aforementioned Hollywood kid diva Ashley Blake, and there was also some Wendy Gellar[1:28] who was now ready to switch over there.

Megan was ready to come to our campus in order to visit her friends, and, while doing so, also taking care of Dustin's fear of dogs like Elvis.

Her secret was the use of music, more precisely, her oboe. Like legendary Greek hero Orpheus, she was able to beguile animals with a special sound. She did not even need to play the oboe while performing her beguiling actions, just in order to prepare for it.

Certainly, there was some magic activities hidden in Megan's practice. Maybe music was the way to harness my blossoming paranormal abilities?

* * *

**1.10.5 Courtney Cohort**

Dustin had done his job well and snuck quite a few informations off Mark Del Figgalo. "His girlfriend is Courtney Cohort.[1:29] She is not a student at Pacific Coast Academy, but a girl from Malibu who had tutored him in math, and this year in Spanish." He spoke the last words with disgust, as he remembered his total faulure in teaching the same language unto Mark, inspite of being only proficient in Mexican soap lingo.

It was still not clear why Courtney was clinging to a boy like Mark, but this would have been too much to expect from Dustin.

In turn, he was glad to hear about the aforementioned dog whisperer.

It was now my task to inform Quinn about the bad news, and I was not sure how well she was going to take it. But it was better to inform her in time then confronting her with Courtney the hard way.

In order to believe my words, Quinn had observed Courtney and Mark perform disgusting things all Saturday long.

* * *

**1.11 Highway To Who Knows Where**

* * *

**1.11.1 Spring Fling Approaching**

* * *

** Bad Experiences**

Quinn had been thoroughly upset at Zoey for having lied to her, and it would take her many months to talk again to the blond Mary Sue.

The winter break was now over, and we were looking forward to our annual spring party.

Well, according to all the boys that had already been here for several years, there was not much to look forward to. "Luke warm music and luke warm hot dogs."

I wondered whether it was right to call them "hot dogs" alkthough they were just luke warm. That was sort of contradictory, wasn't it? Well, at least it kind of confused me.

OK, I did not really care about shallow entertainment and stupid parties, anyways.

But maybe the reason for those luke warm spring flings was hidden in the fact that boys were poor organisers, unless taught by girls to do it better? Or so reasoned Quinn pensky.

* * *

** The Neophyte Rock Star**

Zoey Brooks had got a great idea in order to improve the quality of the impending party. "I try to get Drake Parker[1:30] and his band to perform at our spring party!"

Drake Parker was a teenage rock idol from Belleview High School in the outskirts of San Diego. For this reason, he had also chosen his artist's pseudonym as Drake Bell. He had been discovered only a few weeks ago, when he subsituted for his idol Devin Malone, the leading guitarist of poprock band Zero Gravity, in a concert. Devin's hand had been broken carelessly by Drake's step brother Joshuah Nichols.

But of course there was a hitch.

Drake's evil manager required five thousand bucks for the performance of Drake and his band on our campus.

Of course Zoey did not really have that much money, and her friends Nicole and Dana were not exactly in a position to contribute enough, either. There was thus hardly a way around fund raising activities.

Logan Reese, on the other hand, was certainly able to pay that much, or at least some substantial deal. But he would not do anything like that. As a big jerk and womaniser, Logan feared the competition of a rock idol.

Nicole, for example, almoststarted to swoon when hearing from Zoey that she wanted to try to get Drake Parker's band to perform at our campus.

I sensed correctly that Drake was about as much of a jerk and womaniser as Logan Reese.

OK, Drake Parker was from San Diego. Aforementioned Megan Parker, the dog whisperer, was from there as well. Was there a connection between the two of them?

* * *

**1.11.2 Fundraising**

* * *

** Zoey's Plan**

Zoey Brooks had come up with several ideas for fundraising.

Her first idea was related to her supreme skills as an outfit designer, abilities she had already demonstrated when trying to design the costumes for the video clip for Jet-X, although she had not made it very far back then. This time around, she had got some great idea for a logo for the band, and she wanted to put it on tank tops to be bought and worn by Drake's fans during the concert.

The other ideas were more or less standard, often found at middle school fundraising actions. There was a melon bashing booth, and a booth for throwing balls at volunteering boys.

And then there was that classic car wash thing, deployed by virtually each and every school in the whole country.

I was not convinced that either of the actions would get them far, as they would need to buy cloth and colour for the tank tops, melons for the melon bashing, detergents and polish for the car wash, and maybe more.

Nicole also wanted to suggest a kissing booth, but only for cute boys. For better or worse, Zoey had rejected that idea becasue it was too sexist. In addition, Zoey knew too well that kissing in the public was by no means able to find the approval of landlord Leo Bradford, and thence there would be inevitably much bigger troubles as soon as the old creep would find out about such an event going on right here at Pacific Coast Academy.

* * *

** Drake's Little Sister**

I called Megan Parker on her cellular phone, which she was running without the knowledge of her parents, and asked her right away about her relationship to Drake.

She was a bit embarrassed. "OK, Drake is my brother, but it annoys me being just known as his little sister. That stinks so much, and he and that bastard of Josh Nichols will rue it."

Not much later, I would learn that she pulled regularly pranks on Drake and Josh, or, as she used to namecall them _Boobs_, which was _Megan__'__s term for useless boys._

Standing in the shadow of a teenage idol must have been very painful for a girl of nine or ten years.

I asked, "would you mind talking your boob into coming to our campus and give a concert … or, rather, pranking him into doing so for a much lower price than the five thousand dollars required by the filthy and disgusting creep of a manager?"

Megan coughed. "oops, what would be in it for me?"

I replied, "another occasion to see your friends living on the campus? And maybe Dustin?" I had sensed that Dustin had been getting along pretty well with Megan Parker.

Megan sighed. "OK … I will see what I can get."

Of course, this was everything short of a confirmation, but it was something keeping up our hopes, in case Zoey's fundraising actions would turn out a complete failure.

* * *

** Garth Berman**

Of course fund raising action on our campus needed the approval of the school's administration.

Zoey and her room pals were asking Dean Rivers about that, and they only got the permission if they refrained from letting clowns appear on th campus, as he was allergic to them. Zoey assured that there were no clowns involved.

A few minutes later, a guy around thirty passed by. He was no other than the executive chairman of our school's board, a certain Garth Berman.[1:31] He wished the girl good luck for the action, as he remembered how lame spring parties at Pacific Coast Academy had been back in his days.

Well, at least we had got the approval of the executive chairman in person, so there was not much of an obstacle left, besides the fact that the fund raising actions did not look promising at all.

* * *

** Megan's Conditions**

Finally, I received a reply from Megan Parker.

The elementary school girl from San Diego had worked a bit on her brother, and she had figured some possibilities.

First, the best way to get Drake to do something for a very low price was the prospect of meeting hot girls. The rock idol was, just as feared by Logan, a reckless womaniser of the most decadent sort.

Of course, there were quite a few high school girls here at Pacific Coast Academy, especially one in the category Drake would have liked to meet, although girls were still a vast minority.

But this was a high price as well, and Zoey would not have liked such a sexist request.

In addition, making out on the campus in the public had been more or less declared illegal by Leo Bradforsd, just a few days.

On the other hand, there was no reason for Drake to just ask the girls for their number and to date them off the campus, sooner or later.

As much as Megan and I were disgusted, we were not opposed to offering this as a payment for Drake's efforts.

And then there was another problem.

Drake had not got the control over the whole band, and he was not able to let them perform as a group without the prior consent of his excessively filthy manager.

Of course Drake was not able to perform all alone, so we needed to supply him with backup vocals and maybe a few instruments.

* * *

** Sleep Withdrawal**

Quinn Pensky was currently performing experimnents on humans in order to confirm her theory abous sleep withdrawal and day dreamimg, hallucinations, or other weird cerebral activities. She had hired Dustin as a test object.

But I had been able toi dissuade her from doing so. "Zoey does not like Dustin getting used in this manner, and what you do will make everything worse. Zoey is very influential here, it seems." This was finally enough to dissuade Quinn from abusing Dustin any further and to look for others. She had chosen Jack Ross, the aforementioned room mate of Dustin.

The elementary school kid was now chock full with electrodes. The instrument she had used in order to monitor my nocturnal cerebral activities had been built by the geek girl for exactly that purpose.

Quinn wondered whether Jack's reflexes were still in order, and she tested them by filling ice cubes into his clothes and by yelling at him with her trombone.[1:32], on top of submitting him to some bright flash[1:33] from a trap she had built for smaller animals.

* * *

** Discussing Megan's Plan**

Zoey's fund raising action was going to turn out as one huge catastrophe. There were only about one thousand bucks, and they were still awaiting the bill for the water used for the car wash action, let alone the complaints of their customers about their crappy job. They were better prepared for a negative result. One did not need to have my possibly fatidical prowess in order to see that coming.

Thus I told Zoey, Dana, and Nicole about Megan's strange proposal.

Nicole squealed. "Yeah, Drake comes in order to flirt with us. He is so cute. Dis I already tell you how cute he is? And maybe I will soon be Mrs. Nicole Bell!"

Dana grunted, "maybe in your dreams!"

Zoey sighed deeply. "That was not quite what I had expected, besides … where do we get some cheap backing vocals and instruments?

Chase growled, "hey! I do play the guitar![1:34] And I write song texts!"[1:35] It was clear — at least according to the voice of my sixth sense — that Chase was trying to use this in order to impress Zoey, maybe even to the degree of writing a love song for her and performing it in the public. Of course he we was really nervous, so he needed Drake's support desperately for such an attempt.

Zoey had not yet known that, and she was a bit astonished. "Wow! You make songs?"

Chase shrugged. "I write texts, but Michael writes tunes matching tunes."

Michael Barret nodded vigorously. "I sure do!"

Zoey shrugged. "OK, it seems there is something to start with. I am so looking forward to seeuing you guys on the campus stage."

Michael coughed. "I am afraid of the public. I would bee too nervous and just puke."[1:36]

Zoey growled, "are you boys, or are you just cowards?"

Chase declared, "erm … we are men!"

Michael added, "manly men!"

Chase and Michael hi fived.

Zoey sighed. "OK, it should not be too hard to find a few volunteers that always wanted to perform in a boy band."

Nicole volunteered for the female lead voice. "I love singing by Drake's side!"

Dana growled, "I love stuffing the mouth of squealing bimbos with dirt!"

Nicole sighed. "Ouch!"

* * *

** More Volunteers**

Zoey had added a request for volunteers for the concert, and there had been quite a few requests from kids from Los Angeles county volunteering for performing side by side with the young idol on our stage.

One of those wannabes was a certain Edmond Bigby from James K. Polk in Santa Clarita.[1:37] This was one of the schools that used to eventually lend us some cheerleaders.

Dana growled, "the cheerios from Polk's are nothing but spoiled lasses!" She was apparently alluding to a certain Mercedes Griffin, also known as "Missy Meany" because of her inappropriate rudeness.[1:38]

Well, I seriously doubted that Mercedes Griffin alias Missy Meany was that muxch different from Dana Cruz, andthere was nothing but professional envy between the two of them.

In addition, it was unlikely for Edmond to take along his whole bunch of school pals.

Another interesting wannabe was a certain Zander Robbin from Silver Spring Elementary School, a guy in Dustin's age. He was sort of a drummer.

We did not have a drum here at PCA, so some pot turned upside down would have to suffice. We would just have to ask the cafeteria for that sort of stuff.

The most interesting reply was from one Lisa Perkins, a freshman at Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts who was gifted with some extraordinary voice. She had already participated in a casting show known as _America Sings_[1:39] but deemed too young for it. But she was hell bent on trying again. She had attached a sample of her performance, and Zoey figured that Drake could be glad to have such a female backup voice.

Nicole turned envious. "But I wanted to …"

Zoey shook her head. "Nicole, you can't sing, face it!"

The bimbo wench felt badly insulted.

There were many more volunteers, and it was clear that this was the easiest way to get Drake to perform here for even much less than thousand bucks.

* * *

**1.11.3 Drake At PCA**

* * *

** The Arrival**

Morning had broken, and the sun came up from the coastal hills.

We were up in order to await the arrival of no other than Drake Parker. He was coming from San Diego.

His step brother Joshuah Nichols was driving the car.

Megan Parker was sitting on the back seat in order to annoy the boobs with her remarks to hell and back again.

Our voluntary helpers were marching in onme by one.

Edmond Bigbby was accompanied by two of his very best friends, Jennifer Mosely and Simon Nelson Cook.

Jennifer was a jack of all trades holding most records at her middle school, both academic and athletic. There was probably nothing to compete with such a power woman.

Simon Nelson appeared more like a cyborg than a n average afroamerican teenage boy. He was incredibly gifted in science and technology, maybe similar to Quinn. As the latter had not yet been willing to show up for the sound check, Simon Nelson volunteered for the task.

Finally, also the visitors from San Diego were coming around the hills.

Joshuah had only recently obtained his driver's license, and he was still a bit shaky.

I feared that we would have to pay for the bills they had collected during their road trip. In this case, I was no longer suree whther the whole idea had been one allowing us to make some savings, as planned.

Nicole was most excited and ready to jump into Drake's arms as soon as he exited the rusty vehicle of his step father Walter, a particularly misleading weather reporter.

The brakes squeaked at top volume. Fortunately, there was not much on the parking lot to get damaged by Josh's crude braking style.

Drake jumped out of his car, right into Nicole.

The bbimbo wench grabbed the rock guitarist's right leg and fell on her knees. "Drake!Awwww!" She rubbed her face against his leg and his hip.

Dana grabbed her false friend rudely and pulled her off the poor victim.

Megan was very calm, and she walked straioght away to her friends Ashley and Wendy.

Zoey Brooks shook hands with the young superstar. "Welcome to Pacific Coast Academy!"

Josh was a nigheaded dweeb, with the stupid habit of twitching occasionally over and over in a spasmodical manner, and one of his moments was now.

Megan shook her heads. "That is embarrassing!"

* * *

** The Opening**

Zoey said some words to the fans gathered on the campus. "Hello, may I introduce the one and only … Drake Parker from San Diego!"

Nicole squealed, "I love you, Drake!"

Wendy gellar, the class pal of Dustin, pushed Nicole away. "Keep your fingers off Drake, he is mine!"

Nicole looked aghast at her rival.

Dana kicked both of the squeaking fangirls hard.

Chase and Michael were both standing on the stage, hoping to survive without having to puke their soul off their body.

Lisa Perkins stood next to Michael.

Zoey introduced teh volunteers to Drake. "Lisa is your female lead voice for today."

Lisa and Drake shook hands.

Drake wondered, "do you know my songs? What is your favouite?"

Lisa smiled. "Oh, I think … _Found A Way_[1:40] is totally cool."

Drake nodded. "OK, we will start with that one."

Zander started beating some empty pot with a dining knife and a spoon. He adored his mirror image on the bottom of the polished brass container.

Edmond Bigby was dragging a huge bass guitar around. "Let's rock this place!"

Drake smiled at the middle school guy. "Oh, yes, we will, and quite so!"

The concert was about to start.

I was not so much into pop rock, and thus I preferred wandering around.

* * *

** Lullaby**

Jack Ross had not been sleeping for several days straight, and Dustin was already increasinly worried about him. Unfortunately, Quinn had tied some electroshocker to his limbs, keeping him forcefully awake.

I wondered what to do.

Dustin asked me to hypnotose his friend.

Alas, I was not sure whether that was a really good idea. "I may make him tired, but as I understand him, he is already deadly tired."

Along came Megan Parker.

Jake had started whimpering a few minutes ago, but Quinn appeared to show no mercy.

I had already tried hard to dissuade my room mate from continuing her experiment, but she insisted in continuing, because she had already paid Jack Ross dearly for it.

Megan wondered what was going on here.

Dustin wexplained the situation, and he asked, "can't you whisper the shock armbands into stopping the torture?"

Unfortunately, the device was not a living being, and so there was no chance of doing so.

Megan had got an idea though. "I may play him a lullaby. That will relax him, with or without the shockers."

Dustin urged Megan to do so.

She unwrapped her practice oboe. "Sorry, I need to undust it, and stuff. Do you know how dirty Drake's car is? Full of boob germs. And a fine tuned instrument does not support any boob germs."

I shrugged.

Josh stammered, "but then I will miss out on Drake's concert. The next song is my favourite."

Megan sighed deeply.

Dustin calmed down his room pal. "Waybe Gilbert and Simon Nelson Cooke are recording the whole concert on a DVD, using the fire wire technology."

I sighed. "The freak has picked his nickname really just fine."

Jack finally consented. "OK, I guess that's good enough for me!"

Megan had cleaned and warmed the reed of her oboe. "OK, that should work. It is time for Brahm's _Lullaby_!" She started blowing the gentle tune of the romantic master.

Jack passed out, but without even clossing his eyes or other things that people do when falling asleep. This way, the shock zappers did not even notice what was going on.

Dustin moaned, "now I understand the words _being dead on your feet_."

I wondered, "how long do we have to stay here?"

We decided to carry Jack Ross into his and Dustin's dormitory room.

* * *

** Bra Sneaker**

We had tucked away Dustin's room pal, and I crossed the lounge. A tween boy of apparently Irish ancestry stood in my way. I had never seen that guy before, especially not on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy, and I wanted to get past him.

The creep grunted, "hey, you can't ignore me!"

I wondered, "what is going on?"

The guy picked something from his pockets, and that something looked totally like my bra.

I had stitched a few magical symbols into it, in a crude and unprofessional manner. That's why I had not got any difficulty recognising the piece of lingerie.

The stranger grinned. "Are you missing this?"

I gasped like never before, and I fumbled embarrassingly around my chest, verifying that I was indeed missing the object in question. "How did you …"

He whistled innocently. Then he rendered the bra unto me, and he grinned. "OK, my name is Matthew Palmer Noid, and I am a bit gifted in telekinesis."

I thought to myself, "so, this Paranoid guy was a little bit gifted? what would _gifted_ look like?"

Matthew Palmer Noid sighed. "Sorry, I have heard that you are also able to bend spoon, and stuff like that. And removing people's clothes from afar is my special ability.

I did not find a way to put on my bra without anyone here watching. "Can't you also effect the reverse?"

Matthew shrugged. "Maybe? But that would be a bit weird."

I sighed. "Certainly …" I saw no other possibility than returning to my dormitory room and take care of the uncanny piece of clothing.

Matthew Palmer Noid also explained that he was still in elementary school, but he was pondering whether to got to James K. Polk or to Pacific Coast Academy for middle school.

I wondered what his decision would be, and whether our encounter had got any influence on his mind.

* * *

** End Of The Concert**

Nicole stumbled into me, all disappointed. "I threw my bra at Drake, and he did not react!" She was apparently weeping.

I knew how much she had been fancrushing on him.

But a sunshine bimbo girl like Nicole would sopn get over it, at least as soon as the next cute boy crossed her way.

Wendy Gellar was less disappointed, but that was because she had already got her heart broken once by Drake Parker, and that had been her reason for switching to a boarding school. Until fall, Wendy had been a scout girl in the group of Walter and Josh Nichols. Wendy had received an autograph of the star and boasted with being his future wife. But then Drake declared that he had not meant it the way Wendy had understood it, and this had made her go insane. Filled with remorses, Drake had then sung a song for her.

Megan had told me the whole story while we had been walking Jack to his dormitory block.

Wendy was now learning to compose pop rock tunes.

And the tune for Drake's _Highway To Nowhere_,[1:41] the very song to be sung by the teenage idol now at the end of the concert, had been hers. The lyrics had been written by Adelaide Singer,[1:42] a second cousin of Wendy and good friend of Megan Parker.

The sound filled the air in a totally penetrant manner, but soon it would all dissipate in the final cheers of the mass audience.

I wondered what had happened to Chase and Michael. One of their hand written songs had also been performed by Drake, but this had been totally embarrassing, not because the song was bad, but because Chase had only been hankering after Zoey, while Michael appeared to have got the hots for Lisa Perkins.

My sixth sense told me that the thing with Michael and Lisa would never go well.

Indeed, Michael had passed out after puking his guts loose, while Chase had fallen unconscious at the begin of the song that should have been his ultimate love song for Zoey. Both of the lovesick blokes had to be brought into the infirmary and treated by the perverted nurse with a syringe with an excessively long needle.

OK, this day had confronted me with two unanticipated lessons about my witchcraft prowess. The first had been by Megan Parker, whom I had now seen for the very first time enchanting people with the magics of the melody performed on her oboe. And the second strike had been dealt by this Matthew Palmer Noid guy, who had applied some telekinetic powers on my very garments. I was willing to learn more from these strangely gifted kids. But when and how would I come to see them again? My intuition let me down here, although I was deadly sure that there would be at least one next time, and that I would need it badly.

* * *

**1.12 Mindy Crenshaw**

* * *

**1.12.1 Quinn's Botanic Experiments**

Quinn Pensky had finally abandoned her researach concerning sleep withdrawal.

When Jack Ross had been put asleep by the perfectly charming sound of Megan's oboe, Quinn's control device, that had erstwhile registered my brain activity in a very precise manner, had gone insane and indicated values believed impossible for humans, or at least boldly beyond anything that had ever been registered.

But of course this was by no means the end of Quinn's scientific career.

Her current research project was located in the interesting but certainly controversial field of genetic engineering, well, at least controversial once human genetics are concerned. But Quinn was so far only caring about plants.

More precisely, the freaky firl was trying to blend the genetics of apple trees and banana shrubs. Against my erstwhile belief, bananas did not grow on trees, but on shrubs, and it was impossible for them to multiply without growing offshoots. Quinn's hope was that of saving the world wide population of bananas by such a genetic intervention that had the goal of making banana herbs more robust to parasitic fungus and pests.

Quinn had alread made a detailled plan how the new plant and its fruits, so called _banapples_, should develop. And she would not tolerate any deviation of it.

* * *

**1.12.2 Fashionable Backpack**

* * *

** Cue Pop Disaster**

Nicole was once more destroyed. She had inadvertedly ruined some backpack for sale in the campus shop by trying some new candy known as _cue pops_.[1:43] Unable to pay for it, she had even been forced to borrow some bucks from her trusty Zoey Brooks. In addition, she deemed the Pacific Coast Academy backpacks incredibly ugly, and thus she disposed with the spoiled example.

As a gifted designer, Zoey Brooks was not willing to let it end up like this, and she started ornating the spoiled lump.

I was sure that it was going to look really cool.

* * *

** The Presentation**

Not much later, the ornated backpack was rigged and ready, and it shone above any of its sort hitherto beknownst on teh campus of Pacific Coast Academy.

Many students covetted that fashionable item, but it was not yet for sale.

And there was a new girl that called herself Anastasia Romanova.[1:44] seemed to be particularly interested in that beautiful piece of outfit.

OK, I was sure that was not her name.

There had once upon a time a certain Anastasia Romanova, a daughter of the last czar of Russia. After the demise of the monarchy, the whole family had been disposed with by the bolshevik regime. But a few years later, several girls around the world pretended to be the lost daughter of the last czar.

Of course this would have been an accident, but I sensed she had only got deceiving people in mind, both aboput her identity and even more about her motivations.

Anastasia pretended to work for the school's newspaper, and to write an article about it.

But for me it was clear that she tried to damage Zoey, and, even worse, that it had to do with Drake Parker. Well, I was not avble to read that name out of her head, but it was obvious that she hated some rock idol more than anyone else, and the only rock legend known in person to Zoey was — at least as far as I was aware of — Drake Parker from San Diego. In any case, Anastasia's hatred was based on personal motivations, so she knew the jerk from face to face, and not just from the mass media.

I wanted to warn Zoey about the context, but it was too late.

Clearly, the blond Mary Sue was totally proud of her fashionable creation, and she wanted to show it around and to let everyone admire it.

Thus my intevention had been in vain, and it was necessary for me to look elsewhere for informations about the false czar's daughter. So I thought to myself, "the lass is familiar with Drake Parker in person, so why not ask someone who is also familiar with him, such as Megan Parker?"

* * *

**1.12.3 The Dangerous Stranger**

I had even been able to take a picture of that Anastasia Romanova, and I had sent a request to Drake's sister.

Indeed, she replied fast and reliably, using a pribvate message on my _Splash Face_ account. "Sure I know that girl. her name is Melinda Crenshaw, a former student here at belleview."

I nodded. "That makes sense." I also remembered that Wayne Gilbert had mentioned that lass, just a few months ago, as one of his fiercest opponents at last year's Californian state science fair. "So, she is no more at Beleview … since when?"

Megan reported more details.

* * *

A few weeks ago, the car of Mrs. Hayfer, the most perverted of all teachers at Belleview, appeared in her classroom.

It was not clear how it had come there, but everyone was convinced that Drake had been the culprit, as he was the laziest and naughtiest of all of her students, and he had always got troubles with the disgusting creep of a teacher.

Drake would have been suspended, but Josh made him go to the honour council and fight for his innocence, with Josh's help as a sort of attorney.

Mrs. Hayfer had hired Melinda Crenshaw, the eternal rival of Josh for the honour roll.

I was able to prove that it was indeed Mindy, trying to frame Drake, was the nocent one.

Josh was way too dumb to do so.

Basically, I knew from the beginning that Drake lacked the ability to commit something like that. But I would have been proud if he had done it. So I was disappointed when he was actually innocent, but it had to be.

The honour judge expelled Mindy, and she is gone ever since.[1:45]

* * *

OK, we could consider Melinda Crenshaw alias Anastasia Romanova found. The registration of the latter had been just two days after the expulsion of teh former.

Was that argument convincing for Zoey?

* * *

**1.12.4 Botanic Fraud**

* * *

** Informing Quinn**

It was clear thae Melinda was extremely dangerous. Given that she was sort of a science fair queen, I wondered whether she was also here in order to compete with Quinn.

My room mate had already heard about Mindy. "You mean the one who has cloned her pet poodle?"[1:46]

Megan had not mentioned this, but it made certainly sense.

Quinn sighed. "OK, if Mindy is here, I suppose she will be interested in my project, for the better or worse."

I replied, "certainly."

* * *

** In Flagrante Delicto**

Quinn feared that Mindy was up to stealing her blossoming banapples. Now she had deployed infrasight cameras in order to be able to control the growth of the plants all day and especially all night.

I was already asleep when Quinn woke me up.

"We have to sneak into the school garden. Mindy Crenshaw is doing something to my shrubs, and I need to know what!" Her voice was totally excited.

I wanted to keep on sleeping, but Quinn dragged me out of my bed.

She had found an easy way to slip in and out via fire escapes, without getting noticed by evil Coco Wexler.

I yawned. "Why don't you just use your zoom thing and watch everything from here? Tomorrow, we will see more."

Quinn sighed. "OK, maybe that is even better." She zoomed in on Mindy and noticed that she had got some sack. "She is going to steal the new banapples! I will so hurt her for thgat! Grrr!" Then she watched even more.

There were apparently already banapples in the sack, and those were a bit bigger than those already ornating the shrubs.

Now Mindy picked those off the shrubs and replaced them with those from the sack.

Without knowing about the nightly interventions, it would seem that the banapples had grown a bit over night.

And that was probably what Mindy tried to mke Quinn believe.

Of course I was not able to see Mindy's intentions from afar. But I speculated that the banapples did not work out at all, and Mindy wanted to guide Jade into a wrong direction in order to waste her time on a pointless project.

Quinn was not yet convinced of the futility of the banapple project, but she would takke a closer look at what she had believed to be banapple fruits.

In addition, Melinda Crenshaw alias Anastasia Romanova was going to have to explain something, and she better had got good reasons for everything.

* * *

** Interrogation**

It was the big break after the night of infrared revelations.

Quinn and I caught Mindy on the campus.

The geek girl from San Diego was totally consternated when seeing her counterpart from Seattle approach her.

Quinn growled, "what are you doing to my banapple shrub?"

Mindy went pale. "I have never been at any shrub … who are you anyways?"

Quinn thundered, "I am Quinn Pensky, future winner of Nobel Prizes in physics, chemistry, biology, and medicine."

Mindy giggled,. "Dream on!"

Quinn grabbed her rival. "Admit it, you want to steal my invention, just as you want to steal Zoey's backpack design! I have got teh proof for your banapple theft … on DVD, via night vision."

Mindy shrugged. "Zoey is too stupid to marked her designs, so she doesn't deserve them anyways."

I intervened, "OK, Anastasia, or should I say … Melinda?"

Mindy twitched, as she haf hitherto not been aware of the fact that we knew her name.

I continued, "I also know that you hate Drake parker, and that you hate Zoedy just because she is one of his greatest fans."

Mindy growled, "they all stink! Especially Nicole …"

Quinn was not interested in the case of plagiarism of Zoey's backpack design. "So, what do you do to my banapples? Will you clone them as well?"

Mindy laughed heartily. "Banapples? What a joke!" She explained that, even if there was a possibility of crossing them, their fruits would not look banana shaped with apple-like consistency of the peel. "You do know that bananas are, biologically, a sort of a berry, while the preferrably eaten part of an apple does not belong to its proper fruit, it is accessory tissue."

Quinn banged her head against a wall that happened to stand in the school garden. "Dern, I should have known that … don't tell anyone, or else …"

Mindy grinned. "Or what?"

I continued, "or Dean Rivers will hear about your fake identity?"

Mindy went totally pale.

I also urged the cheater to refrain from plagiarising Zoey's backpacks.

She promised not to sell them on the campus.

Alas, I read in her mind that she was already considering a much greater market. Students at other schools would appreciate cool backpacks, too. This implied that I had to be more careful, and to observe Mindy's future activities.

Mindy asked, "is it true that the science club is still closed for girls? Wayne announced something like that after I turned him down last year. Sorry… Fire Wire, as he wants to be called."

Now I was no longer able to avoid talking about. "Not quite. The club is open again for girls, but under one condition …"

MIndy shrugged. "What condition?"

I panted heavily, because it was not easy to talk about. "Wayne Gilbert wants a date with you."

Mindy choked. "Is he never going to give up?"

I shrugged. "I am not sure, maybe he has now forgotten about it." Then I realised that Wayne had not appeared as much in the public as usual since MIndy was at Pacific Coast Academy. I ad sensed that he was hiding from something or someone, and this was of course the most likely answer. "I guess that he is too much of a coward to face you again."

Mindy sighed. "OK, maybe I had been rude to Wayne. Fact is … I already had, and still have, another crush, and that is Josh Nichols."

I sighed. I had sensed things being more complicated than just something to the avail of Mindy hating the whole Parker Nichols family. "You mean Joshuah, your eternal rival for the honour rolls at Belleview?"

Mindy nodded solemnly.

I tried to read more sense into it. "You hate Drake because he is Joshuah's step brother? You are ashamed of your xcrush's family, and that's why you do all those nasty things to them?"

Mindy sighed deeply. "Drake has stolen Josh from me. It hurts when my crush prefers hanging out with his step brother and fails to see my feelings."

* * *

**1.12.5 Wired Minds**

I had talked Mindy into meeting Wayne in the cafeteria in order to talk about everything.

It was better for the major scientist at Pacific Coast Academy to get along, lest a nuclear war between them would blow up the whole campus.

There was little dount that each of those guys was able to build a very destructive bomb, and that they would do so carelessly in order to outdo their rivals almost living next door.

I had come with them in order to be able to intervene if necessary, and in order to fetch some sushi for Quinn. The delivery boys were very unreliable, especially Chase Matthews.

Kazu was now taking orders. "Unfortunately, we have not got any genetically manipulated Hiroshima rolls for you."

Wayne cackled in his usual manner. "Rice with soy sauce, nothing else."

Mindy shrugged. "OK! Same for me!"

Kazu walked away.

Mindy growled at Wayne, "so what makes you think I would like you?"

Wayne stammered, "because … we could work together on a project worth a Nobel Prize?"

Mindy sighed. "Oh, you think I would not be able to achieve that goal all alone?" She laughed almost manically.

Wayne cackled. "Sure you could, but together, we would be faster."

Mindy nodded. "That is possible. How do you know that we would be a good team?"

Wayne shrugged. "We'd have tro try it?"

Mindy smiled. "OK, I should give it a chance. I have got some projects on my todio list. You may find it on my _Splash Face_ site. Send me a private message once you have chosen one of them."

Wayne cackled. "How about all of them?"

Mindy growled, "hey! Don't rush it! I expect a detailled argumentation from you, by tomorrow night!"

I had got Quinn's sushi, and I was now ready to return to our dormitory room. I would not have understood anything about the content of their proposed research projects, but I sensed that Wayne and Mindy would be a great couple, in and outside the laboratory.

* * *

**1.13 State Championships**

* * *

**1.13.1 Progress Of Basketball Team**

Thee basketball team of Pacific Coast Academy had been performing better during this year than during the last decades.

This was especially the merit of Zoey Brooks, the soul of our basketball squad.

In addition, the cheerio squad, captained by no other than archdangerous Dana Cruz, was a very powerful backup.

This was much better than having Dana in the basketball team. They would hardly have mastered the sectionals with her in the team, as she was not willing to leave the captain's burden in some guy's hands, and even less in Zoey's.

The Californian state championships were now getting closer and closer, and the team was already highly motivated.

Alas, there was one looming shadow restraining the hitherto unbeknownst euphoria.

* * *

**1.13.2 Michael's Weighty Problem**

Michael Barret was one of the most effective columns of the basketball team since his arrival at Pacific Coast Academy, which had been like two years before my own first day. Or, at least he had been such a column until recently when he had started gaining weight.

The reason, or so everyone firgured, was his preference for fat snacks, especially spiced and deep fried potatoes.

Until now, this had not led to bigger problems, but it was impossible for him to go through the state championships like that.

Coach Ferguson had just been forced to come uo with a deadline for Michael to be able to control his weight.

But the addiction was pretty impossible to get rid of.

* * *

**1.13.3 Representing PCA**

* * *

** Cheerleader Uniforms**

Dana Cruz felt very well in the cheerio troup. She was one of te few full timers, as there was still a need to hire girls from nearby schools, as already described. It was thus easy for Dana to be the uncontested boss of the squad.

Our school did not have an official textile creation club or elective. This, of course, was a due to the history of the school.

Leo Bradford was strictly opposed to girl stuff being taught at his school to boys, and he had not yet allowed for girls to found their own clubs or suggest their own electives.

As a consequence, the cheerleading uniforms had never been manufactured by our students. Indeed, they had been ordered from some other school in the county of Los Angeles. It was by no means clear how the design of those tops, panties, and accessories was related to Pacific Coast Academy.

This is not meant to say that it was shabby, but it was just nothing that could be presented proudly as being part of our life at Pacific Coast Academy.

The crest of Pacific Coast Academy depicted a stingray, and some alumni, such as executive chirman Garth Berman, had tattooed this animals onto their limbs.

It was thus natural to suppose that decent uniforms of our cheerleaders should depict such a beast, or feature its shape in some other way.

For this first state championship in middle school basketball, we wished our cheerios, including the hirelings, to show up in an outfit that

But Zoey was a really good fashion designer, and if anyone here was able to come up with a decent cheerio uniformsm it was certainly that outstanding blond Mary Sue. But she had always deemed cheerleading as sexist.

Nicole had begged Zoey into designing them. "If our cheerios are not dressed well, the boys all over california will think that we girls at Pacific Coast Academy are all uncomely and uncute. None of the cute boys will ever notice us." She was still nowhere near over having been ignored by Drake at the concert.

Zoey gave finally in. "OK, I think of a stingray depicted on the front site of the tops …"

Dana insisted, "I want that my outfit emphasises my curves."

Zoey sighed. "That's why I have always rejectyed cheerleading as sexist." She shook her head.

Dana growled, "either you do as I say, or I will not cheer for you! Hey, remember when you made the designs for the dresses to wear for the video clips for Qualitech's scooters? Those dresses were made for girls with really huge …"

Even Nicole had to chime in. "Please, Zoey, our cheerios are the representants of femalehood at Pacific Coast Academy, you need to give your best here. Otherwise no cute boy in the world would want to date me, just because I am from a school with cheerios with oldfashioned loser uniforms."

Zoey moaned, "hey, that kind of blackmailing is not nice … but OK, we can't afford losing you."

* * *

** School Hymn**

Another thing we had been missing was a sort of anthem for our school to be played at official events, and the celebrations of our victory, if achieved, would have been such an important occasion.

Unfortunately, there was no expert for this, either.

Michael was playing the flute, but in some totally embarrassing manner.

Leo Bradford had never cared about anything like that, as the only music he had ever allowed was marching musics at Independence and Veterans' Day. Of course many hymns were of that kind, and thus there would be next to no chance getting a school hymn approved that was not following these patterns. Drake Parker's songs, which many kids in California, including here at Pacific Coast Academy, would have loved to see s their school's anthem, were thus ruled out completely.

I suggested to ask Megan Parker to come up with one, as she was well versed with more classic music, due to her expertise as a solo oboe.

* * *

**1.13.4 Fighting Addiction**

* * *

** Fake Crisps**

Quinn had tried to overcome Michael's problem by means of producing fake chips that were impossible to distinguish from real ones, neither by taste nor by looks, but which did not contain anything contributing to a further increase of Michael's weight.

Michael was totally greedy, and he swallowed the fake potato snacks at the speed of light, but neither he nor Quinn had been aware of the side effects.

Now it had turned out that Quinn's first attemped had turned Michael temporarily and partially paralysed.

More precisely, his legs refused to obey to his brain's commands.

Needless to say, this was by no means desirable for the impending state championships. Without a fully mobile Michael, the school would have been deemed lost, as he was incredibly hard to replace.

* * *

** Hypersensibilisation**

Fortunately, Team Firemind, alias the cooperation of Melinda Crenshaw and Wayne Gilbert, had worked on another way of solution, they tried to make him somewhat allergic to the taste of deep fried potatoes.

They called this process hypersensibilisation.

Unfortunately, there would be some sort of a downside as well, and this was not even a side effect.

Other students that envied Michael were now easily likely to make fun of him by eating potato crisps in front of his nose.

Even the smell of deep fried potatoes from the cafeteria, on certain days of the week, would have been a burden for him.

So this was only acceptable as nothing more than a temporary solution.

* * *

** Hypnosis**

I had never before attempted to hypnotise someone on purpose. Suggesting Chase to stand up to Logan during the basketball match of the girls against boys had been semi voluntary at best, combined with wishful thinking.

But now Michael had begged me on his knees to do something. "You have healed Dustin's flu, and his fear of puppies …"

I sighed deeply. Of course Dustin's problems with Elvis had been solved by Elvis, but concerning his flu, there was no way around admitting to it, although I still had got a not so good feeling whenever it cane to the whole handlaying business.

Just in order to get Michael to calm down, I tried to do what he expected, and thus to hypnotose him into being able to withstand the smell of potatio chips. I muttered some self made formulæ that happened remotely to make some sense.

And, by Bradford, it seemed to work, for a randomly bypassing elementary school kid with a bag of potato crisps left Michael totally cold.

* * *

**1.13.5 The Opponents**

Basketball teams from middle schools of all parts of California had applied for these finals. But the hardest opponents had already been in our own county, and we were going to face them again.

The big favourites were the kids from James K. Polk middle school in Santa Clarita.

This of course also meant that their cheerios which had twice reinforced our own troop, videlicet Mercedes griffin and Candy Manderson,[1:47] were now cheering on the other site.

This was probably not much of a problem, though, as we were accustomed to fairly similar situations.

But we had heard impossible things about their basketball team.

The captain was a certain Seth Powers, a tall blond rake of the dumbest possible sort.

Then there was bully William Loomer, with a skull tough enough to crack walnuts. He was usually accompanied by two henchmen named Buzz Rodriguez and Jerry Crony.

The most aggressive guy, though was one Mike Grudzielanek.[1:48]

Sometimes, aforementioned Jenifer Mosely, albeit a much better volley ball player, also appeared in the basketball team, and then the opponents used to be better off praying.

The teams from Pacific Bluff in San Diego County, captained by some filthy jerk named Alo, and Golden Bay in Frisco, lead buy some disgusting jock named Ash,[1:49] were absolutely no match.

* * *

**1.13.6 The Final Match**

And now, just as predicted, it was coming down to the death match against the infamous team from Santa Clarita.

The umpire was Jackson Colt,[1:50] leader of the American Union For Highschool Sports and multiple international mixed martial arts champion in the open class.

The match was on.

Loomer, Rodriguez, and Crony played really rude, and Jackson Colt should have said something about that.

It was obvious that the Loomer guy was the root of all evil, while Crony and Rodriguez were following his orders.

Unfortunately, Zoey seemed to look a bit too close at Seth.

Making it worse, the tall dumb rake smiled back while letting the basketball gyrate on his inde finger for several seconds.

Chase turned horribly jealous, and he assaulted Seth. Fortunately, he was too clumsy to hit him really.

But it was enough for Jackson Colt to expel the bushy dork on site.

Well, Chase was probably not the brightest bulb in our socket, but in a match like this one, every player counted.

On top of being out of the business, Chase was now looking forward to being rebuked harshly by Zoey for his not so gentleman like assault on Seth, as the whole team was punished for it.

Zoey was left out by the bully triplet, as they deemed it uncool to hurt girls. But she was of course lost without the support of her teamm pals.

Our cheerio chieftain Dana Cruz had got her suggestive cheerio top that she had wanted Zoey to tailor her, with a stingray-shaped cleavage. Thus she cheered happily and instigated her subalterns to do the same, even those we had borrowed from nearby Northridge Middle School.

I could not help tricking Loomer telepathically into getting himself expelled. I knew I would regret such an intervention, but it was so unfair. So, I concemntrated, and …

Loomer yelled some decadent insults straight into the referee's face, getting him expelled on site. Those words were not unusual for Loomer to issue, but usually only at weaker fellow pupils, definitely not at a big hulk like Jackson Colt.

The erstwhile rowdies Crony and Rodriguez were all of a sudden as silent as can be.

Now even Jennifer Mosely protested because Zoey started stealing her all the boys, and she got expelled as well, although she was blaspheming in foreign languages, but for no avail.

In the end, our team secured a one point victory by a last minute point by Logan Reese. Unfortunately, he would now go everywhere and claim that it was all his own merit. As if that had not been enough, he started flirting with the hostile cheerios.

* * *

**1.13.7 The Celebrations**

Van Earl Wright, the vice president of the department for physical education, was ready to render unto our team the trophy for the glorious victory.

And it was up to Megan Parker to present our new school anthem. "It is written in the Mirandese language,[1:51] spoken by the people of the independent Kingdom of Miranda in South America, and it will be sung by Pacific Coast Academy's one and only landlord. An applause for Leo Bradford!"

The old freak entered the stage.

Megan Parker started blowing her oboe.

* * *

A las armas, a las armas !  
Subre la tierra, subre l' mar,  
A las armas, a las armas!  
Pula PCA lhuitar!  
Contra los lhobos caminar, caminar![1:52]

* * *

As Megan would tell me later on, it said something to the avail of calling the people to the weapons, both on land and out on the sea, in order to fight for Pacific Coast Academy and to soldier on against the Wolves.

This alluded to the crest animal of James K. Polk middle school, the wolf.

Well, this had been a surprising victory, but all then problems of our team would not disappear.

* * *

**1.14 Dance The Night Away**

* * *

**1.14.1 Annual Middle School Ball**

The middle school ball was an annual tradition here at Pacific Coast Academy, and it was also open during this year.

Of course you may wonder how this had been possible during the boys-only years.

Until last year, boys had been allowed to invite just any girl from anywhere to the dance, Of course not living too far from Malibu was an advantage for making it there and back until monday morning.

The boys without that luck were assigned voluntary girls from nearby schools to fill the gap.

It was expected that the opening of the school for girls was effecting some change of the rules, but noone knew how this what look like, especially as girls were a blatant minority.

* * *

**1.14.2 The Rules**

I was sitting in my boring geography classes taught by Mr. Toplin,[1:53]

The boredom was broken by the intervention of the organisers of this year's middle school ball. Strangely, the school administration was too dumb to realise that we middle school kids were able to organise something like that on our own, just as we had achieved to get the spring party up and running like a charm.

Debra Pierson[1:54] was the one to explain how it worked this year. She was a student teacher from Northridge, one of the aforementioned schools lending that used to lend us occasionally girls. "These here are questionaries. The dance partner will depend on your answers, so be fair and honest when answering the questions."

In other words, a computer was going to do the dirt jobs.

I was definitely not looking forward to the stupid event.

But the administration deemed this approach the fairest possible solution.

* * *

**1.14.3 Filling The Questionary**

Well, maybe the computer choice was not all that bad, given that the unknown girls from other schools had always been a bit scary for the more timid boys here, but there were so many mean cheater when it came down to filling in questionaries, I tell you ….

It was so obvious that popular girls like Zoey Brooks would get many boys to lie in order to be assigned her partner. This was so obvious the case for Chase Matthews, who was still burning for jealousy from the moment when Seth Powers and the blond Mary Sue had smiled at each other.

Making it worse, Chase was begging me to read Zoey's answers off her mind in order to get him the correct answers. "Who knows what jerk she would otherwise get to date?"

That was probably true, because many jerks were going to answer in a dishonest manner, just in order to be with Zoey.

I urged Chase once more to fess up the straight way in order to avoid turning out as the jerk that he wanted Zoey to stay away from. "Haven't you already caused enough trouble by assaulting Seth?"

Chase banged his head against the wall, and then he disappeared.

I sensed that stealing Zoey's answers was not really Chase's idea, but that Logan Reese was behind it.

You will possibly wonder whether Logan was also after Zoey and trying to fake his own answers. But when passing by him, I felt that he was going to be honest with this test and just brag right away about himself, as was his usual modus operandi.

Quinn at least was in a very stinky mood, as she needed to find a way to avoid getting assigned to Wayne Gilbert.

The latter was now regularly dating Melinda Crenshaw, but the nerd queen from San Diego was already a high school girl and thus not eligible.

Oh no, those questions cried for trouble … favourite fruit, favourite animal, favourite thing to do, most awkward thing to do …

I had to shake my head over and over again.

* * *

**1.14.4 The Results**

This was the day of truth, or, rather, the time for reveiling the computer-matched pairings for the impending middle school dance.

There was already a long queue in front of the bulletin board containing the computed consequences results of the questionaries.

The first person I recognised to walk up to the board was Michael Barret, and he realised that his partner was some Olivary Biallo.[1:55] Michael had been stressed to no end during the last few days. He had been assigned tutor for some exchange student going by the name of "Ollie". Unfortunately, Ollie was not a girl, as he had probably hoped for, but a really weird guy not familiar with American customs.

A guy stepped next to Michael. "Aw, Michael, look, we are dance partners!"

The song composer gasped. "Ollie?"

So, Ollie was clearly the same as Olivary Biallo. But, hey, why had the computer matched two boys for the middle school dance? There was something fishy.

A closer look reveiled that Ollie was not even completely unfamiliar to me. It was no other than aforementioned Jerome Crony, the auxiliary bully from the basketball team of James K. Polk.

During the basketball match, Michael and Crony had fought over quite a few balls. Was there a connection?

The situation smelled fishy, and more so than the kitchen wastes of Sushi Rox. I was hell bent on examining the weird situation closer, but only after having found out my own assignmen t for the ball.

The next person I knew was Nicole Bristow, and she was assigned to one Nicholas Webber.[1:56] The two of them were about equally bimboish and bubbly, so this was a perfect match, even if it would cause them a few troubles for the first weeks. as they would inevidently annoy each other for some time.

Then it was the time for Dana Cruz to step up to the bulletin board. She went through the list. "Keith Finch?"

Yeah, this was the bully that had tried to torture Dustin Brooks, just because the latter was really smart.

Also Dana was a well known bully who used to take out everything on little Dustin, but only behind Zoey's back, for otherwise she would have been in serious trouble.

That was of course a match at the ugliest level. Was that going to go out without a bang? Well, they would certainly not try to kill each other, as both of them were sadomasochists, and thye would not terrorise elementary school kids, as those were not allowed to participate in the dance evening for the middle school classes.

Zoey Brooks was the next to reach the board, and she was assigned to both Chase Bartholomew Matthews and to some Glen Davis.[1:57] Apparently, both of them had stolen Zoey's answers. I had to check this and inform Zoey Brooks, as she did not deserve being abused in such a decadent way. Thus I left the queue in order to investigate.

Glen Davis looked already like a typical jerk and rake, about as disgusting as Logan Reese.

And now Chase and Glen started fighting over the blond Mary Sue.

Debra had only admitted that there must have been a mistake.

Sure there was, but it was not a computer mistake. The failure had been in the assumption of boys being able to stay hinest when fighting over a girl.

I had ngot no other chance but telling Zoey about the whole thing.

At first glance she did not want to believe it, but then she grabbed both Chase and Glen, urging them to tell her the truth.

Of course the creeps denied fessing up.

I suggested Zoey to ask the guys questions that anyone answering the questions honestly like Zoey would have been able to answer, such about details of her favourite music style.

Zoey sighed deeply. "OK, what do you know about the history of hip hop?"

Both of the mean cheaters had indicated to like hip hop, just like Zoey. But none of them was even able to spell the word.

Zoey asked a few more questions, and the result was terrible. "OK, guys, I will not go to that stupid ball, so the two of you should go with each other! Happy dance!" She stomped her feet and ran away, full of anger.

Of course Chase and Glen would not go to the ball together, and they refused to cool down, either. Sooner or late, security guards would have to prevent them from killing each other.

In the mean time, Logan Reese had seen his entry. "Mercedes Griffin?"

The two of them had flirted at the state finals of the basketball teams, and it was clear that they were a perfect combination.

Unfortunately, there was a problem. Both of them deemed themself extremely hot, but Logan feared not to be hot enough for Mercedes, and vice versa. Of course they had not talked about that in the public, it was just obvious — at least for someone with my sixth sense — from their mental vibes.

Now I did my own big step forward. I looke up my name on the bulletin board. "Malika Ritter and … Wayne Gilbert?" I choked violently. "What?"

Well, going through the whole thing, there was probably a reason for this.

Wayne was not only a scientist, he was also a reader of cartoons like those of the _DC_ and _Marvel_ series.[1:58] Some of the characters in these movies seemed to have aomw similarities with me, in the sense of parapsychic abilities and so on, but maybe also with a strange way of developing them.

Now it was hard for me to see that toon characters were able to show me how to improve my magic prowess, or, rather how to harness it correctly without wreaking unpredicted and unintentional havoc over and over again. But maybe they did show some answers, indeed?

Whatever, I was not feeling quite at ease, but being careful would allow me probably to survive the whole evening and even learn a few things.

Quinn was assigned to Wayne's friend Andrew Bernstein.[1:59] This was certainly not her dream, but an understandable outcome.

And now it was time to care again about Olivbary Biallo alias Jerome Crony. I walked up to the "dream couple".

Michael was consternated. "Don't congratulate us yto our wedding!" Apparently, mny kids had already made fun of Michael for his assigned partner.

I shook my head. "OK, Ollie Biallo, or should I say, Jerome Crony?"

Only in this moment did Michael remember the auxiliary bully from the nasketball match against the wolves from Santa Clarita. "Crony!"

The visitor from James K. Polk looked consternated. He had actually thought that a fake name was enough to pass as a different kid. "I may … explain … it all, but don't tell Loomer!"

OK, I had already sensed during the basketball match that the relationship between Loomer and Crony had not been true friendship. And I needed to find out more about it, for the whole thing still smelled excruciatingly fishy.

But this was all enough for today. Also, I pitied Zoey for having been abused like that. She was rightfully disappointed, and probably she would go depressed over the fact that so many boys went through all sorts of perversities when hankering after her. Maybe there was some way to get her back to the dancing evening, even without a partner?

* * *

**1.14.5 Saturday Night**

The party hall was slowly filling.

Glittering disco spheres had been set in motion. There was no band, so we had to do with talped music.

Zoey would have loved to hire Drake again, but the star was still a high school boy, and he was stuck in a tough phase.

Wayne had suggested me to go to the ball with a costume in the likeness of one of his cartoon heroes. I did not understand anything about the world of those superheroes and equally gifted villains. Honestly, I did not see a difference between the two of them.

In addition, I was not able to design and tailor the costume on my own. The only expert for such a task I knew was Zoey Brooks, but she was in such an excruciatingly stinky mood because both Chase Matthews and Glem Davis had abused and chested on her in the most shameless manner by stealing her answers. In addition, she could neverstand Fire Wire.

I had tried the costume collection of the drama club. By the way, there had not been a new adviser for the running academic year, but for the next one, Erwin Sikowitz from Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Artswould be hired. The key to the storage was in the hands of Dean Rivers, and it was not easy to borrow it, but it had been in vain: There was no such costume on store.

But ten minutes before going to this ball, Wayne had sent me a delivery girl, more precisely Wendy Gellar, with a parcel containing such a costume, Wayne had found someone to tailor me a costume.

So, here I was, dressed as some superhero whose name I did not know, just in order to please Wayne, or maybe to learn about the history of that hero, and how he or she was able to control his or her uncanny abilities. I felt a bit weird in the costume, but there was not much of a problem getting accustomed to it.

The taped music filled the air. Michael and Olivary alias Crony showed up. When Olivary passed by Wayne, things became clear.

Jerome Crony alias Olivary Biallo had been the one to design and tailor my costume on Wayne's behalf. He was a gifted fashion stylist, but he needed to hide his hobby from his bully friends, especially William Loomer, the most evil bully, ever. More precisely, Crony was a member of the Loomer gang in order to hide or make up for his unmanly hobby. In turn, he had not yet had the guts of telling his boss about his natural inclinations.

Later, Crony woiuld turn out as the only boy in the textile creation club, and the whole team had applied for this ball. This way, Crony had slipped in. The whole enterprise served him just in order to find out whether he weas as girlish as he had feared to be.

At the same time, both Mercedes and Logan struggled with the feeling of boasting with their hotness while being afraid of being less hot than each other.

Nicole and Nicholas were annoying each other with bimbo talk, while not recognising that none of them was any better.

Dana and Keith seemed to try to hurt each other in order to proof who was able to bear more pains.

Quinn and Andrew were busy talking about rocket science. Well, there was hardly anything to say against that.

Even with this costume, I did not feel super heroic, or whatever permanently cackling Wayne sw in this toon figure, even if it had got some sort of mindreading abilities.

Wayne taled incessantky aout the life and times of his superheroes, mentioning a lot about their training and practice as well. Was there really something in it for me to learn from for my own quest of masteruing the uncanny abilities I was not yet able to control appropriately?

Michael was annoyed by Crony's lack of familiarity with American conventions he had made up. "You have to hold the corn cob transwersally when eating it." Actually, Michael was an embarrassed player of the transversally held flute, and he was allergic to woodwinds that were held straight when blown, such as the recorder, the clarinet, the oboe, and so on. That's why he made up that stupid rule about eating corn cobs.

Finally, Olivary had to say goodbye to Michael. "I have to pray to the moon. Would you please babysit my little sister?"

Michael coughed. "Hey, I am not a babysitter."

Fortunately, said sister, going by the name of Farfalla,[1:60] was not that young, maybe almost in Michael's and Olivary's age. And thus Michael was gladly fulfilling the task. On the other hand, he was not really over Lisa Perkins, and he would certainly want to exchange Farfalla for her any time.

Oops, a little mind reading made me sense that Farfalla was by no means related to Olivary Biallo, but she had been hired by him for a purpose. Unfortunately, it was not possible for me to figure what it was, and I di not want to bvother Michael because of that little, as I fugured that he did not care in all honest about Farfalla's identity when starting to dance with her.

* * *

**1.14.6 Dance In The Moonlight**

I was now too tired, and Wayne had to talk to his friends Neil Wosinsky[1:61] and Andrew Bernstein, thusly also reasing Quinn from her bondage.

Crossing the campus square, I realised what Crony alias Biallo meant when talking about his prayer to the moon.

To my surprise, Zoey also showed up on the campus square. Well, she had been sulking all evening long, and probably been finaly bored enough to circumambulate the paved landscape. Her golden hair was shimmering mysticaly in the moonlight, like a true moon goddess. She wondered about the stranger, videlicet Jerry Cronny, whom she did not recognise either, as she had only seen him yet in the bright light of the day, and he looked a bit distorted now. Zoey wondered what the guy was doing, and she guessed that he was as lost as herself. "How about a little dance?"

Crony smiled. "Yeah! Artemis has heard my prayer and come to dance with me!" He actually believed that one of the lunar deities had come down and deemed him worthy of a dance.

Zoey wondered, because she had never been compared to such a thing. "OK, it's me … Artemis!" She smiled when sweeping Crony across the pavement, for several minutes.

The dance lasted for a few minutes only. Then Zoey had to leave Crony again. She noticed something on the floor which she picked up.

I figured that Crony had dropped it while dancing.

This sounded like part of a cinderella story.

Would Crony ever recognise who his Artemis was really? He believed still that it was a goddess that had come down from the night sky just because of his prayers, and that had disappeared there again by the end of the dance.

Zoey, in turn, would believe that she had been dreaming.

Only time was going to tell.

None of them would have believed me the true identity of their nightly mystery encounter, so it was better not bothering either of them as soon as possible.

* * *

**1.15 Off To The Beach**

* * *

**1.15.1 Traditional Beach Party**

The end of the spring term was traditionally celebrated with a huge beach party.

Granted, the campus of Pacific Coast Academy was located straight by the seaside, and thus many kids would have thought that we would have been able to simply celebrate such a party right here by our beach.

But things were not really that easy. The beach here was a bit rocky, and most definitely much too small for all kids, teachers, and staff at the same time.

And thus it was necessary to rent some huge beach. During the last years, this had always been some place known as Mystic Beach,[1:62] for whatever weird reason.

Busses had been hired in order to take us there.

* * *

**1.15.2 Staying Behind**

I was not interested in the trip to the beach that had by no stretch of the word deserved its name.

_Mystic_ was derived from _a Greek expression for closing or shutting_. _Mystics_ were _people that shut themselves apart from the vulgar mass of mankind_.

By the way, according to Wayne, some of the superheroes and villains had followed such a way, at least temporary, in order to harness their supernatural powers.

In any case, a beach regularly overrun by the masses was by no means worthy of such an attribute, quite the contrary.

A Mystic Beach staying true to this epithet would have been extremely hard to reach, especially not for many unprepared people at the same time.

OK, we were of copurse not simply allowed to separate from the rest of our classes, we had to tell the teachers and school admin about it and then stay in one of the lounges.

Mr. Bender was the teacher chosen for supervising the kids staying behind. Not many kids had been left behind for this afternoon that followed the last tests of spring term.

On my way to the chosen lounge, I saw Zoey, Chase, Dana, Michael, Logan, Nicole, and Dustin rushing by in order to catch the last bus. Well, Dustin was asleep and had to be carried. This was strange, and I sensed that they had been involuntarily late … too late, as the last bus had just departed.

Now those kids had been discussing wildly. I told Zoey, "you know that you have to go to Bender and stay in the lounge for the afternoon?"

But Logan had got another idea. "I will call a cab for us, and then it's off to the beach!" He fumbled with his credit card.

The kids appeared to prefer Logan's suggestion.

I shook my head. "This squarely violates the safety rules. Think what happens in the case of an accident. You will not be covered by the insurance police." I sensed that with a jerk like Logan in command, something like a bad accident would not be possible to avoid. "At leave Dustin here with me and Mr. Bender!"

Zoey glared aghast at me. "He is my little brother! he has got all supervision he needs!"

I sighed deeply. "But you are not his mom and not legally responsible for him!" Fortunately, I kept those words to myself, although it was tempting to yell them into Zoey's face.

Dana growled at her room mate. "Hey, leave your bugger here! He is just in our way of having fun!"

Logan agreed once wholeheartedly with the reckless tomboy.

Nicole, Chase and Michael chimed in, after some fruitless discussion.

Chase wanted oto start one more attempt to spend as much time with Zoey as possible, and Dustion would have been in their way.

For Michael, Dustin was a burden as well, although he would never have dared to be outspoken about it, as opposed to Logan and Dana.

Nicole only thought about the many cute boys she would meet at the beach, including her Nicholas Webber. I had talked her into giving him another chance, as te two of them were more than just a perfect match.

Finally, Zoey gave in, but she insisted in carrying Dustin in person to the lounge.

* * *

**1.15.3 In The Lounge**

Zoey had dosposed with her little brother, letting himn lie on a bean bag, and then she was rsuhing up and away in order to go to the beach with the cab ordered by Logan.

Mr. Bender was not yet here, or otherwise Zoey would not have been allowed to disappear without having to answer a few uncomfortable questions involving the impnding cab trip that was by no means authorised by the school administration.

I sat next to Dustin, and, upon the entrance of the responsible teacher, I explained that Dustin was too tired for the coach trip to the dreamy beach.

Bender nodded when he saw the ten years old bugger that was still not awake.

I sensed that Dustin had got some weird dreams, but that was not so much my business.

Most kids here were involuntarily excluded from the beach, either as a penalty, or for the lack of the parents' approval, or for reasons of health.

I used the time in order to thin about some facts I had figured recently.

Mindy Crenshaw was still selling backpacks designed by Zoey without her consent, and precisely at aforementioned James K. Polk school in Santa Clarita. I had figured this during the final match for the Californian middle schopol basketball championships. Mindy was driving tough negotiations with someone that just was known as the Backpack Boy. That was no random incident, it was a solid business connection.

Finally, Dustin Brooks woke up, and he wondered where he was.

I told him everything that I knew since he had been carried across teh campus to the bus stop by his sister and her pals. "Trust me, you are better off here than in a tyripo organised by Logan the Jerk."

Dustin sighed, disappointed for missing out on the beach. "I remember having sniffed at one of Quinn's latest inventions, it smelled like coconut essence. But Zoewy had also smelled the same thing … maybe all of them."

Apparently, those kids had fallen asleep after sniffing, and then they had been late. ultimately too late for the last bus to Mystic Beach.

I sensed that there was something wrong with Logan's road trip, although I could not tell anyone what.

Dustin sighed. "You always sense ahead when weird things are going on, just as the NFL football match where a water conduct broke and water shor forth from a hole in the earth near the forty yards line …"

I sighed deeply.

Dustin urged me to go to Mr. Bender and tell him about the whole thing. He was also trying to call Zoey on her cellular phone, but there was no reply. "Zoey is out of reach!" There was no better luck with Quinn's mobile phone.

This was not easy for me, but it probably had to be.

The teacher had got a hard time believing my dark anticipations of an accident befalling Logan, Michael, Chase, Dana, Nicole, Zoey, and Quinn. But he knew that those kids were not supposed to take a cab trip somewhere else without prior permission by Dean Rivers, let alone without a responsible adult.

* * *

**1.15.4 Searching For Zoey**

Dustin and I had followed Bender into the administrational office.

Beverly,[1:63] the dean's secretary, yawned as she had hoped for a free afternoon. "Bear with it!"

Bender explained the situation, and also the necessity to intervene and look for the lost kids.

Beverly hoped to get away without having to call Dean Rivers, who was not on the campus or at the beach for the wewhole afternoon, and inform him about this perverted violation of the stern rules. Sooner or later, the parents and the board would have to be informed. If even our estimated landlord, Leo Bradford, came to hear about it, hell would be released upon us without mercy.

First,Bender suggested to inform the teachers that had been responsible for supervising the kids at Mystic Beach. "With some good luck, they have already arrived!" He xcxalculated forth and back, using the time tables for the busses.

We concluded that the kids should have made it to Mystic Beach by now. On the other hands, mobile phones worked very well at Mystic Beach.

Mrs. Bromwell,[1:64] one of the responsible teachers, received our call, and she informed immediately all others and make them check for Dustin's sister and the other lost kids.

We did not know which cab had taken Zoey and her pals to the beach.

Thus Beverly could not help tryin g to contact all cab service providers regularly serving the Malibu region. Logan was able to rent a limousine, so this was no criterium.

A few minutes later, Mrs. Bromwell called us back, telling us that none of the lost kids had arrived at Mystic Beach, neither by a cab nor by any other means.

Either the cab had taken a detour, or they had been struck in an accident.

According to Radio Los Angeles, there were no reports about recent accidents in the county with several kids inviolved.

Dustin asked me to use a pendulum or ssomething like that. "Come on, you have to find Zoey!"

I sighed deeply, although I would have a hard time telling Bender to look in a certain spot just because a pendulum said so. But at least I had to do something in order to prevent Dustin from screwing up completely. So we walked to the big map of southern California. I closed my eyes and concentrated on the kids.

A pen attacked to a short string had to serve as a pendulum.

Minutes later, Dustin pointed at one point on the map. "There, your pen was clearly hitting this spot!" He grabbed the pen and encircled a place at the Pacific Coast, located in Ventura County, slightly outside any town area. This explained why it was not possible to reach any of them by means of mobile phone connection, unless they had got a sky connection.

OK, so how was I to tell Bender to go and send someone to look over there?

Fortunately, Dustin did that for me, begging the teacher on his knees.

The police was known for not reacting to requests for lost persons at such an early point already. Fortunately, he knew someone who knew someone … and so on.

* * *

**1.15.5 Found Again**

Bender's friends from Venturi county had actually found the lost kids at some less pleasant beach in Ventura, and we were now supposed to pick them up from there.

Fortunately, it was neither necessary to inform the police nor Dean Rivers or the parents, let alone Overlord Leo Bradford, but it had been dern close. So much trouble was hard to bear.

Logan had given the cab driver a wrong address, and that got them lost in the middle of the land of nowhere. He was going to be punished with several weeks of detentions for his evil idea.

Not even my sixth sense was able to tell me that there was going to nbe more mayhem and turmoil at Pacific Coast Academy during the years to come.

* * *

**Chapter 2 My Second Year at PCA**

* * *

**2.1 Lola Martinez**

* * *

**2.1.1 Back On The Campus**

My second academic year here at Pacific Coast Academywas just a few minutes old, and I entered my old and new dormitory room, 101 Butler Hall. But Quinn, like all those girls graduating from middle school, had been transferred to Brenner Hall for their high school years.

Anyways, I was not alone, but joined by Melanie Puckett,[2:1] a girl that had just come to Pacific Coast Academy. And the most inportant fact was that I knew her a bit from Seattle. Both of us had been studying at Ridgeway Elementary School.

Melanie was from a difficult family background.

Her father had left the family at a very early age for unbeknownst reason and to an unbeknownst destination, and he had been involved in organised criminality.

Her mother was a promiscuous alcoholic of the worst sort, unable to care properly for her daughters.

For that reason, the state of Washington had intervened and taken away the girls from the evil mother and sent them to a boarding school, fearing that they would otherwise slip into a really bad environment. And this was a hardly deniable fact.

All this suggests that Melanie had got a sister that was also new at Pacific Coast Academy, and her name was Samantha, and she was even more than justa sister, but a monozygotoc twin of Melanie. Both girls had been assigned a fake name by the authorities in Olympia, the capital of the state of Washington where the responsible authority resided.

Melanie was now called Fawn Leibowitz[2:2], while Samantha was now Trisha Kirby.[2:3]

There was a teacher for mathematics at Pacific Coast Academy, Mr. Kirby,[2:4] who had signed some agreement with the responsibles in Olympia. This had influenced teh choice of the pseudonym.

Samantha had once been retained for too many detentions, and thus she was a grade below us and not assigned to our dormitory room, which was a great advantage, as Sam alias Trisha was a royal pain in several lower body parts.

I had finally taken care of my belongings, and I was now bounding out in order to see what else was new on the campus. My added senses told me that there had been more changes than just the usual moves into different dormitory halls.

Likewise, Melanie decided that it was time to look after Samantha. "I am pretty sure that she is up to no good, so I better watch her before bad things happen."

Indeed, with someone like Samantha on the campus, the worst of the worst was in sight.

* * *

**2.1.2 Palmer Noid**

Crossing the campus square and walking past the fountain, I noticed a boy that I had already seen once and only once: Matthew Palmer Noid, the curly redhad that had been lurking this place upon the last spring fling, removing my bra via telekinesis. I grinned. "Hey Palms!"

He snickered mischievously. "Malika, what a nice day!"

I shrugged. "It could be worse." Then I was turning embarrassed when checking whether he had menoved some of my accessories again, but this had not been the case.

Matthew shook his head. "OK … so, I am new here, as a sixth grader. Now we may have a bit fun together,

I growled, "what sort of fun?"

Matthew shrugged. "I don't know … letting things disappear and so on …"

I coughed. "That is not necessarily fun."

Matthew shrugged. "I have heard that they make a little welcome party in Maxwell Hall, so I amd bound there. See you!"

I waved at the Irish elf, or whatever he was.

* * *

**2.1.3 Dana Is Gone**

The lounge in Brenner Hall, the home of the high school girls, was the most modern on our whole campus. It had only been built or rebuilt like two years ago. The boys envied the girls for that hall.[2:5]

Zoey and Nicole crossed my way, and they were not in Dana's company.

I guessed, "is Dana no longer at Pacific Coast Academy?"

Nicole nodded. "Yeah, isn't that cool? And this lounge here is cute, and the boys and the beach … have I already mentioned the cute boys?"

Zoey explained, "Dana Cruz is now for exchange in Paris, at a French boarding school."

I sensed that this was not an exchange, and that Zoey was withholding some information. More precisely, my impression was that Zoey had delieberately effected the trannsfer of her erstwhile room mate. She had been very mad at Dana during the whole last year, even without saying it, but the vibes had been very penetrant. Of course Zoey had been tired all time by the bickering of Nicole and Dana, but, more than anything else, Zoey must have heard that Dana had been treating Dustin like dirt behind her back, most of the time. And that was nothing the blond Mary Sue was willing to tolerate. Well, this was just my speculative conclusion. I did not know how Zoey had achieved getting rid of Dana, and it was not really my business, was it? "So, you are now just two in a room? Or is Quinn with you?"

Nicole shook her head. "Quinn lives next door, and she controls us via some bidirectional television device. I do not know what I am sayiing. Zoey, what is bidirectional?"

Zoey ignored Nicole's question. "Unfortunately, we will get a new room mate."

I wondered, "who?"

Nicole shrugged. "We do not know, but it will ne terrible. The housing manager, Miss Burvich, is in a stinky mood."

Zoey growled, "yeah, because you had to obliterate her collection of valuable perfume flasks."

Nicole looked aghast. "What?"

Zoey sighed deeply. "It is always embarrassing going somewhere with Nicole. She ruined the backpack in the library, the glass flasks in the housing office, …"

I panted. "OK, but you have been able to make something extremely good from the backpack!" I still had not told her about my hunch concerning Mindy's business with the backpack design plagiarised from Zoey. I knew that I would not be able to withhold this information any longer.

Zoey growled, "OK, that had been cool, as I was able to make a lot of it."

I wondered, "and you don't think this is possible even here?"

Zoey wondered, "am I a glass artist or what?"

I shrugged. "I had imagined you more creative!"

* * *

**2.1.4 Girls From The East Coast**

Thre new girls had asked there way around, and they seemed to be already familiar with each other from their old home. Their names were Natasha Hughes,[2:6] her monozygotic twin sister Mariah,[2:7] and Vanessa Tayler.[2:8] More precisely, they turned out to be from Rocky Road, the same school as aforementioned Adelaide Singer , author of the lyrics of one of Drake Parker's latest super hit.

Tasha and Vanessa were very athletic and interested in joining the cheerio squad, kind of as substitutes for Dana Cruz, but they had also got different qualities.

Maria, on the other hand, was sort of an artist or painter girl. She had arrived with a folder of her paintings or sculptures.

I wondered whether glass arts was her thing, and I asked her right away.

Maria replied that she had never thought about it, but it was certainly a challenge. "Is their a club for glass arts at Pacific Coast Academy?"

I shook my head, and I told her about Zoey's and Nicole's situation.

Maria sighed. "Oh, that's a pity. With the appropriate equipment, I would sure give it a try!"

I hoped Maria to be able to infect Zoey with her endeavour.

* * *

**2.1.5 Fake Emo Girl**

* * *

** Zoey's Fear**

Burvich's revenge seemed to have been cruel.

Nicole and Zoey complained about theiur new roomie, a certain Lola Martinez.

According to Zoey's report. Lola seemed to be a total emo girl, or even a goth witch. "She is talking to the dead, or something like that!"

I sighed deeply upon hearing about this acitivity.

According to Wayne Gilbert, sevveral superheroes of his favourite toons were easily able to cross the boundary between the realms of the living an dthe dead at whim.

So far, I had not dared to mess with necromancy or anything like that. But maybe it was one way to mastering and understanding my hidden powers that woulkd otherwise keep on scaring me.

For this reason, I hoped sincerely to be able to learn from a versed goth girl that was able to talk to the death. "May I talk with Lala?"

Nicole looked consternated. "You really dare to? What if she is a zombie? Or a werewolf? A vampire? Last year at a boarding school in Upstate New York, Lola pushed some teacher downstairs, making her bleed all over the staircase, and then she fed on the blood."[2:9] Nicole shivered.

I shook my head. "Zoey, you better get Nicole's brain checked."

Zoey told me the way to her new dormitory room, where Lola was apparently already waiting.

Nicole and Zoey were not sure whether they were able to stay over night in that room, and they would now rather sleep out on the campus.

Zoey said, "I will ask Coco for a tent. She has certainly got one of those, as she often goes on a camping trip, even with kids from here."

I shrugged. "Good luck!" Then I dared to walk forward into the lion's den, er … into the realnms of Lola Martinez, the mighty emo witch.

* * *

** The Monster's Den**

Malika walked slowly into 101 Brenner Hall, and she noticed a teenage Latina in some emo-style outfit. "Hey Lola!"

The new student squealed. "Don't disturb me in my concentration!" She tried to speak medieval English, probably from the times of Chaucer.

But it was not hard for me to see that she was not believing what she was talking about. I guessed that she had scared Zoey and Nicole on purpose, but for what reason? "OK, Lola, I know that you do not think like an emo witch or anything otherwise spiritual or occultist. You do not believe in a life after death, let alone the trade with otehrworldly beings. You are just acting."

Lola stood up and turned around. Her face had gone totally pale.

"I should tell Zoey and Nuicole that you are just a mean liar!" I was almost on my way out.

Lola growled, "no, please don't do that!"

I urged her tio tell me why she was trying to fool her new room mates.

Lola admitted, "OK, it is all acting practice. I want to try out for a scary movie by Maslcolm Reese, he is the greatest producer ever. His sonn is studying here, ain't he?"

I panted heavily. "Yeah, Logan Reese is indeed here at Pacific Coast Academy…we have to bear with it!"

Lola beamed brightly. "That is cool! I will become a Hollywood star and win an Oscar, mo later than at the age of nineteen!"

I grunted, "who knows?"

Lola wondered. "is Logan hot?"

I choked, "well … maybe, I don't care … he is the epitome of the term _jerk_."

Lola sighed. "Whatever it takes to make it to the big screen as fast as possible … I am in for it!"

I shrugged. "Whatever floats your stage … I better fetch Nicole Bristow and Zoey Brook. They may now safely return to this dormitory room. Nicole and camping do not match, it will be one big catastrophe."

Lola looked clueless.

I bounded out, disappointed about not having encountered an expert for communication with the spirits of the deceased.

* * *

**2.1.6 Camping**

I met Zoey and Nicole again, this time out on the campus. "Have you got any luck asking Coco Wexler for a tent?"

Nicole shook her head. "They are already gone."

Coco had lent them unto someone else, and those happened to be Chase and Michael.

Then I told Zoey about Lola's proper identity. "She is just an actress, so bear with her. She doesn't kill you and drink your blood, honest! In other words, you won't even need a tent in orer to save yourselves."

Zoey told Nicole, "you see? You should not watch movies after nine o'clock post meridiem."

Nicole glared at her blond room mate.

* * *

**2.1.7 Power Failure**

* * *

** Infernal Noise**

I wondered why Chase and Michael preferred to sleep in a tent in the meadows instead of sleeping in their room in Maxwell Hall, so I snuck closer to the new dormitory hall.

It did not look any worse than theur old one, quite the contrary.

But … what was that noise?

The whole residence hall was like trembling for the noise heard from therein.

Matthew Palmer Noid was about to leave the building.

I asked him what was going on.

The bra robber explained, "oh, Logan has bought some new entertainment equipment … game spheres, boom boxes, and stuff like that."

OK, many kids playing with all that stuff, sshouting and cheering, were certainly producing all the noise.

I did not suppose this to go out without a big bang.

And it was obvious that not everyone was able to bear that infernal noise, just as — obviously — Chase Matthews and Michael Barret.

It was already dark, so I walked home to my own dormitory which was — or so I hoped — a trifle more quiet.

* * *

** With The Lights Out**

Melanie was already at home. "Samantha kills my last nerves. She has already borrowed fifty bucks from various kids for sushi."

I told Melanie about the horror in Maxwell Hall.

Melannie nodded. "Oh, that's the source of the mayhem. I guess it swallows some electricity."

In this moment, all lights extinguished.

I sighed. "Looks like a power failure."

Melanie sighed. "I wanted to prepare for the trials for cheerio squad. But in the darkness …."

I figured that many kids were stuck on the camous and unable to find their way home. Was there some way for me to help them?

* * *

** Pictures In The Dark**

I was actually able to guide sopme of the kids throughthe darkness, using my sixth sense.

This was especially the case for Dustin Brooks. The little bugger felt particularly miserable for the power failure. "I was so close to level 100 in the new video game."

I sighed. "OK, there are better games for you to play, and you should have been home by nine o'clock, anyways.

Dustin sighed deeply. "But don't tell Zoey, she will be upset!"

I nodded. "She has got all reason for that. But she will have a hard time getting along with her own new dorm and her room mate, so I doubt she cares."

Dustin waved me a good night.

So, I hoped that the following months at Pacific Coast Academy would be a trifle brighter than this night.

* * *

**2.2 Future Past**

* * *

**2.2.1 The Project**

Mr. Bender had assigned his students a project invoving a time capsule. They had to contribute something to it. Decades later, other students of Pacific Coast Academy would find and unearth the brass container … of course only if the school had not ceased to exist by then.

Lola was up to fooling Mr. Bender into thinking that she was not able to accomplish this task. Of course she was just too lazy, and she argued that in a few years, everyone would watch the movies in which she was starring in, and those would be the only memories of her people would ever need. I already saw her breaking into tears, and Bender turning weak, in the moment of interring the brass box.

Disgusting coxcomb Logan Reese would not do anything but donate a picture of himself, thinking of it as a gift for future girls at Pacific Coast Academy.

Michael and Chase wanted to write a song about their life at Pacific Coast Academy. This would not have been bad, but I remembered the faux pas at the spring party where both of these guys had turned out unable to perform on the stage because of thinking too much about certain girls. It was inevitable that Chase's lyrics for the time capsule song would concentrate on the blond Mary Sue.

Nicole was going toinsert one of her clothes in order to show to the kids of the future what we were wearing in our days.

Zoey was the most ambitious, and she wanted to majke a movie about her life at Pacific Coast Academy, saying something about herself, her friends, and her teachers, and probably even about that disgusting mess of a dormitory adviser alias Coco Wexler.

* * *

**2.2.2 Insomnia**

Quinn was not a student in Bender's homeroom class, and so she was not going to participate in the time capsule project. This was definitely for the better, for she would otherwise thrown some chemicals or bacteria into the time capsule, leading to some biochemical catastrophe.

Rather, Quinn was busy with some other problem, that of insomnia and permanent snorting. She had already tried to do something about it, but this had all been totally in vain.

I wondered why she did not use again that time bomb or the coconut flavoured essence that had been powerful enough to knock out many students in one swipe.

Quinn replied that there had been severe problems. "Cal can't provide me with the necessary special metal needed for the wires. And the coconut oil is more difficult, as I have found side effects that are not all that pleasant."

I shrugged. "Mindy, Wayne, Neil, and Andrew are sure able to help you fix the problem."

Quinn looked aghast. "Just because we have made truce doesn't mean that they will help me out." But she could not avoid admitting that this was a good idea, after all.

* * *

**2.2.3 Chase's Insanity**

Chase Matthews turned weirder and weirder since he had heard about Zoey's plan to produce a short movie about her life at Pacific Coast Academy.

I sensed that he needed to know what she was thinking about him, and what she would say about him in the capsule. He almost commanded me to read her thoughts in order to figure what she was up to.

I shook my head. "Be honest to Zoey, and she will be honest to you!"

Did I really have to remind him of his pernicious attempt of writing _Zorka_ just in order to trick her into kissing him? Was it really neccessary tomake him remember the disaster concerning the questionaries for the middle school dance?

Chase stomped his feet. "Oh dam! It sucks big times!"

I was hardly able to help him there. Fessing up to Zoey was something he would have to do alone and face to face, or else he would have made everything worse, no matter what Zoey's feelings for him were.

According to my senses, Zoey felt still too young for a steady relationship, and she still wanted to get to know many people. But she would never want to hurt Chase's feelings deliberately.

* * *

**2.2.4 Deep Sleep**

Quinn had actually begged Mindy successfully for help.

And after taking a look at the system, Mindy had actually found the problem of the sonic bomb. "You do not need some expensive wire. The technologocal layout of the bomb is pure genius, but you may achieve the same concept with much cheaper materials that we can build here in our laboratory."

Quinn looked aghast at her rival and colleague.

I panted. "No, Mindy does not want to say that you are stupid." I sensed that Quinn had understood Mindy's judgment as a form of humiliation. Of course I did not understand their science talk and tech lingo. But it was clear that Quinn was very vulnerable to criticism.

The cooperation of Quinn and Mindy was still a very awkward one, but they started getting along better and better.

* * *

**2.3 Student Council**

* * *

**2.3.1 Canditates**

Mr. Toplin was teaching us some very annoying stuff about the history of ancient Rome.

Who cared about those creeps now? I had already got difficulties understanding why people in a few decades would want to know what our current life at Pacific Coast Academy was like.

But then Dean Rivers rushed in, interrupting our lame lessons with an even lamer announce. "It is time for the elections for the stidents' council. Canditates may be suggested until monday, six o'clock post meridiem."

Of course, before the opening of the school for girls, there had been no female class presidents at all. And during the first year of coeducations, girls had been not only a huge minority, but also fairly unknown. Little wonder the school council had been exclusively in the hands of boys.

In addition, the stupid _Da Rules_ were still written in a way not reflecting coeducation, assuming that all canditates were boys.

But this year, the chances for girls to make it into the council had already grown significantly.

There was still a disadvantage for new students, and so it was much more surprising that there was only one canditate for the representants of sixth grades, and this was a new girl: Melanie Puckett alias Fawn Leibowitz.

My room mate had become totally popular within just a few days. She was now a member of the cheerleading squad, and she was also a volunteer for many a task.

Last year's class president Duke Blatzberg,[2:10] an uncomely, dumb, and rude wrestling jock, was unable to hold a dim candle to her.

But I suspected that Melanie was an exception, and that things were much different for the other grades.

Boys held still prejudices against girls as leaders and managers, and many saw their traditional privileges from the good old times drifting down the drain.

* * *

**2.3.2 The Freshmen**

Chase and Zoey had suggested each other for class president of the ninth grade.

But Chase was not really willing to go into that duel, because he still had that crush on the blond Mary Sue and was little willing to fight against her.

Zoey, on the other hand, expressed that she would hate Chase for withdrawing his postulancy for the position of a class president. "You think girls can't make it unless all boys are too scared to compete with them?"

Chase was still too much of a coward to use his feelings for her as an explanation.

Unfortunately, Logan Reese was trying to buy the voters to go for Chase, against Chase's will.

But Zoey was too stubborn to believe Chase that he was not behind the whole insane bribery. She would impossibly havebelieved me, either. I had tried to contact Nicole and Lola, but this was in vain. It was impossible to talk much of a sense into a bimbo girl or a lunatic diva.

I tried once more to get Chase to fess up, but he was afraid that Zoey would not deem him worthy, and then their whole friendship would be broken for good.

"You aren't worthy of her if you stubbornly and cowardly refuse to stand up for your feelings." But my words just fell like a few silent snowflakes in the Canadian midwinter tundra. I had got an idea. "Go for a different office, such as that of the treasurer! Then you avoid competing with Zoey."

Chase's eyes bugged out. "Nobody wants to go for that office."

That was unfortunately so true, as treasurers were never very popular.

But Chase was ready to grasp every straw in order to get out of the nasty situation.

This way, Zoey's election would no longer be contested.

* * *

**2.3.3 Dustin's Dilemma**

The fifthgraders were also about to vote their representant for the student council.

Dustin was in a critical situation.

Last year, I had supposed that Dustin Brooks and Megan Parker were close, and they would havebeen a cool combination, but it turned out that Dustin had just been at good terms with Megan because he needed her help in order to impress her friends here at Pacific Coast Academy.

When Hollywood diva Ashley Blake ws new at Pacific Coast Academy, Dustin had tried to get her attention. He had already seen many of her movies and been a total fanboy — not the only one, though, as divas used to have many admirers. That had been pretty much normal.

But Ashley had turned out very fast as an arrogant diva, colder than Siberia.

When introduced to dog whisperer Megan Parker, Dustin soon figured that the girl from San Diego was a friend of the arrogant child actress, and he wanted a few hints how to get through to her.

Megan had actually supported Dustin in his quest, but even with her help, he had not succeeded.

In addition, Ashley's elder brother and bodyguard was Vincent, a football player who was now just on the brink of becoming the quarterback of the team, and always ready to defend her honour with his kicks and punches.

After the bad experiences with Keith Finch, who, by the way, had in the meantime been expelled by Dean Rivers, probably due to the suggestion of Zoey, Dustin was too scared of bully gorillas.

But then Dustin switched to having a crsuh on Wendy, but the latter had only made fun of him when asked for a date. The reason was simply that Dustin was unabe to hold a candle to Drake Parker. Once more, Megan was needed in order to help Dustin and to talk some sense into Wendy.

This way, Drake's fangirl number one had stopped making fun of Dustin, but not started to like him back,

Now Wendy was going to run for class presidency, using the popularity of Drake.

Ashley Blake was sponsoring and supporting Wendy's campaign.

Dustin saw himself encouraged to support Wendy as well, thusly trying to impress her once more in order to be given a real chance of a date with the song composer from San Diego.

On the other hand, Dustin's friend and room pal Maximilian Tebbe[2:11] was also running for class presidency, and he expected to be able to rely on Dustin when running against the girls.

And now Zoey's baby brother was holding the wolf by the ears.

I tried to dissuade him from trying to impress Wendy Gellar at all costs, let alone Ashley Blake. "In order to impress Ashley, you have to be rich or famous, best both of these. And Wendy would easily get bored with you.

Dustin glared at me. "I am boring?"

I shook my head. "No, that is not what I want to say."

But Dustin did not listen, and he ran away, all disappointed.

I doubted that anyone or anything was now able to prevent him from wreaking havoc.

* * *

**2.3.4 Elections**

Zoey had become the uncontested class president for the freshmen.

After all, there were many girls in the council, including Wendy Gellar. I sensed that this was basically the result of curiosity of the students wishing to try something completely new instead of the downtrotten familiar paths.

Dustion had not been able to stay out of the whole mess. He had cried for Wendy, and he was now hell bent on proving that he was not boring. "Then Wendy will finally like me!"

Unfortunately, things were not that easy. I had already regretted having made the remark about Dustin turning boring pretty fast for someone like Wendy. But I doubted that this had really made the difference. Dustin was just too enthusiastic over certain little things.

* * *

**2.4 Samantha Puckett**

* * *

**2.4.1 Incessant Troublemaker**

Melanie was now our class president, and this meant a lot of work for her. Unfortunately, this would also make her forget a bit about her impossible twin sister Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby. She feared that her evil twin sister was unable to keep herself out of massive trouble without her massive interventions, but now she had not got much time left to look after the pernicious troublemaker over and over again.

During the last days, Samantha had been bullying kids in the cafeteria. Her main weapon was a sock filled with butter.[2:12] Then Sam had broken into teachers's cars in order to steal the teachers' sandwiches for the big break. In addition, she regularly belched and farted in classes as her way of answering the teachers' questions.

I also guessed that Samantha Puckett had been beihind a recent nightly intrusion into the storage of the cafetria. The next morning, all fried chicken wings had been gone.

Fortunatelky, Melanie did not get into troubles for looking like Sam. That was because she was dressing differently, and especially her haird was styled in a very fashionable manner, while Sam was lazy in that respect.

While all this had already been terrible, Sam was now about topping it in an even more perverted manner.

Samantha was in the same laboratory classes as Dustin Brooks, the smart and carefully working favourite of many teachers. Needless to say, she was a walking catastrophe in a scientific labour, always disrespecting the safety rules and refusing to listen to instructions. Poisons and explosives were her ultimate passion, especially explosive poisons.

Mr. Gangrel,[2:13] a poor excuse of a teacher for chemistry, had been up to leaving his class alone for a few minutes. This, of course, was strictly against the rules, either. Someone should have informed the school's board about that disaster. Dean Rivers never listened to pupils' complaints about teachers, though.

I figured that Samantha Puckett had hitherto been able to get away with all her abominations just because the teachers and staff members that had been hurt by her were no angels, either, and had got many things to hide.

Anyways, Gangrel was aware of Sam's dangerous inclinations. Her laboratory partner Henry Nolston[2:14] was totally overburdened by Samantha's ruthlessly corrupt demeanour. For that reason he had told Dustin and Henry to trade places. Henry was thereby assigned to Jack Ross, while Dustin had been forced to team up with the decadent lass from Seattle.

And Melanie abused that shamelessly in order to start seducing Zoey's innocent little brother in the most pernicious manner. She even wroter her mobile phone number onto the skin of his arm, marking him factually as her own property.

Matthew Palmer Noid had been in the same laboratory class, and he had noticed that Trisha had kissed Dustin abusively in the absence of the uttermost inept teacher.

Needless to say, Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby as a girlfriend was an utter disater for about any boy, especially for someone like Dustin.

I was sure that his sister would not like the news, but I was not going to denounce the whole messiness, for this would have caused only some unnecessary dispute between the siblings. But given how fast ruumours and news used to spread on the campus, it was pretty much obvious for me that Zoewy would come to hear about the unholy relationship rather sooner than later.

Samantha was recklessly promiscuous, and a professional liar and bully on top of everything else.

In addition, I wondered what had happened ultimately to Samantha's former boyfriends.

Melanie was not really talkative here, but I sensed that Samantha had hurt some of them badly … be it physically or mentally I was not able to tell, but probably both.

* * *

**2.4.2 Stinky Beast**

In the meanwhile, Michael and Logan made utter fools of themselves by mistaking a skunk hidden in the shrubs near the dormitory blocks for a kitten.

As a result, their garments and their skin had started stinking from heaven to hell and back again.

I wondeed whether Quinn was able to remove the stink, as it was so obvious for me that there was no way for the dumb blokes to get rid of the incredible stench by their own efforts, at least not without committing bunches of further stupidities. And the malodourous scent was most likely to spread all over the campus.

Quinn sighed. "Oh, I have heard about that mishap. Yes, I am sure there is no way Michael and Logan would get away without a bang." She sighed deeply. "A skunk would be an interesting pet, though." Of course, pets were still strictly illegal at Pacific Coast Academy, and this rule would later on cause various troubles. But Quinn appeared to be able to hide smaller pets successfully from evil dormitory pest Coco Wexler. "I have always wondered whether it was possible to cross skunks and racoons. Some weirdoes even claim to have seen beavcoons, which are supposed to be hybrids of racoons and beavers.[2:15] But this sounds a bit weird to me, as beavers are rodents, while racoons are carnivores."

I did not understand the geek girl's zoological talk, but I was sure that I did not want to get bit by either of the beasts, let alone covered with their stinky secrets.

Quinn had already worked on possibilities of using the skunk's smelly secretions for medical or cosmic purposes. "If mixed with this elixir, there is a chance of turning the stench into a pleasant odor. But I have not yet tested it, due to the lack of a skunk. I guess that this is my big chance."

But more than the little mammal with a black and white fur, I was forced to think aboutthe horrible stench caused by some larger skunk with blond hair walking on two legs alias Samantha Puckett alias Trisha Kirby. I wondered, "OK, you are from Seattle, too, have you ever heard about Samantha Puckett before her arrival at Pacific Coast Academy?"

Quinn went pale, and she started stammering.

I sensed that she had got something to hide, and I needed to know what, for it was possibly going to save Dustin's wretched life.

Quinn sighed deeply. "I am kind of the family surgeon of the Pucketts. The mom of Samantha and Melanie has already needed several plastic surgeries, which I perform over in Come On Inn in downtown Los Angeles."[2:16]

That sounded awful and disgusting. Doctor Glazer's junior license for Quinn was certainly not to be thought as a permission to perform that kind of surgeries without the mentor's supervision.

I continued, "you seem to avoid Trisha alias Samantha. Did she threaten you? This would make a lot of sense …"

Quinn shuddered and started stammering "er … I do not want to be at the wrong end of her butter sock."

I asked sternly, "since when do you know Samantha?"

The geek girl sighed. "we had taken trombone lessons together[2:17] … and we have participated in … but that is too embarrassing to talk abou … my life would be ruined if anyone gets to hear about it …" But — or so I sensed — this embarrassing was probably the key for saving more and more innocent boys from getting wrecked badly by Samantha Puckett.

"I will not talk about that, honest."

Quinn shivered, "but Sam will spread the message."

I wonderwed, "what would be that embarrassing for you? Wasting time without speculating about complicated theories or performing tricky experiments?" That was a guess made during the weeks that I had spent with her in our common dormitory room during the last year.

Quinn moaned. "yeah, I had done that a lot … years ago, when I was still weak, but if anyone hears about it, my career is ruined." She admitted to having been a pageant girl,[2:18] just like Samantha Puckett."[2:19]

I nodded solemnly. "OK, that was ages ago, I guess. How will it be bothersome for you today? Besides. Melanie has already slipped into mentioning Sam's past as a ballet girl or something like that." To be precise, Melanie had talked about her own lessons in the fine arts, and how flexible they had become by their practice. Sam had been able to tickle her nose with her toes.[2:20]

But now it was necessary to deploy more powerful tools in order to get Quinn to talk. Quinn was too embarrassed to talk, and she would never repeat it to Zoey or Dustin, which would be necessary in order to protect the young boy.

* * *

**2.4.3 Jackie Chun**

I went straight to Wayne Gilbert.

Firewire was not only totally obsessed with his fantasy cartoons by _DC_ and _Marvel_, but he had also been addicted to old martial arts movies, and he had wanted to be a certain Jackie Chun, apparently some brute jock of the past.

I hoped for Wayne to go to Quinn and tell her about his "embarrassing" childhood dream.

If Wayne was able to live with his past as a wannabe martial freak, then there was — or so I reasoned — no way for Quinn to be unable to get along with her own embarrassing background as a majorette and pageant girl.

Mindy chimed in. "My parents had been complete idiots, and they had sent me here and there in order to do this and that crap … that is not a reason to be ashamed of for decades to come."

Wayne Gilbert sighed deeply, and he kissed Mindy. Thereupon he stood up and decided to tell Quinn about his disgusting childhood dream, unworthy of a great engineer and scientist.

* * *

**2.4.4 Dustin's Coolness**

In the meantime, the news about Dustin and Trisha alias Samantha were commonplace on our campus.

Zoey had been ferociously opposed to this stupid relationship. Too bad, she had committed a grave error by telling Dustin to stay away from the creep, because this would get many other girls drawn to him.

And, as a consequence, Dustin deemed himself now cool, and he was hell bent on following Trisha alias Samantha more and more.

Zoey seemed to try to get Chase to dissuade the little boy and the evil blonde from their evil relationship, because she had understood that she had failed as an elder sister.

For me, it was obvious that Chase was not willing to do such a thing, but he was still so madly obsessed with Zoey that he promised his secret crush to get it done, anyways.

* * *

**2.4.5 Leanne Carter**

Wayne had really effected the miracle of getting Quinn to give up on her stupid fears.

And now the geek girl from Seattle was ready to talk about Samantha's misdeeds of the past. "Three years ago, I was a voluntary at Seattle's beauty pageant. Samantha was there and about to lose once againt serial winner Leanne Carter,[2:21] Being a furious envy, she pushed Leanne down the staircase."

I gasped, but that was by no means surprising.

Quinn signed, "really, there was no witness, and Leanne is an ecopacifist of the _turning the other cheek_ kind. OK, maybe Sam hads not even touched Leanne physically, but she sure had slantered her in a frenzy, and that was audible for everyone. There was not enough to prove a direct culpa, but the judges decided to exclude Samantha for seven years, just in order to keep the contest clean. That is , by the way, the maximum time for excluding someone from the pageant, as per the rules made by the sponsors."

Well it didn't really matter whether Samantha had pushed Leanne phyically, or whether she made her flee screaming with her verbal abuse, in a way that caused her to stumble and fall downstairs. Such should never have been allowed to Pacific Coast Academy, hell, she was a relentless and pernicious danger for all school kids at whatever school she was enrolled.

Now I was ready to tell Zoey about this, and this should allow her to get the school admin to proceed on site against melanie's sister.

* * *

**2.4.6 Pageant Cheating**

Melanie Pucket had always tried hard to see the best possible in her monozygotoc twin sister and to stand up for her, but now she had started doubting. "yeah, we had been at pageants, and Sam had always been verbally abusive to the judges, …"

I felt that she was hiding something even worse. "Spit it out, please!"

Melanie sighed. "Samantha forced me to switch dresses, so I would have to dance for her on the stage, but letting her get the credits. Sorry, Sam, but this has to be!" She banged her head against the wall, as she had been living with this dirty secret for several years already. Needless to say, she had always been living in the fear of getting pushed down some sewers hole or so by her pernicious twin sister, just like Leanne.

* * *

**2.4.7 Sam's Next Boyfriend**

The next day, Chase seemed to have been able to dissuade Samantha Puckaett alias Trisha Kirby from dating Dustin any longer.

But the price for this had been high, very high.

Chase Matthews was Chase's new boyfriend.

Dustin was in an excruciatingly stinky mood, believing that Chase had stolen the girl off him.

But, really, it was by no means the culpa of Chase Matthews. The bushy dork had just said somethinmg on the lines of Dustin being too young for Sam, and an older boyfriend would be more fun. Oh well, Chase was older than Trisha alias Samantha, and he was at least kind of sort of a boy, when taking the world in a loose sense. So Sam had switched Dustin and Chase without remorses.

I was about telling Zoey about the violent past of Samantha, but she did not listen, because she had just heard about Chase and Trisha alias Samantha dating. Interestingly, Zoey showewd some signs of jealousy, and this feeling was strong enough for her to ignore anything else I was able to say about the demon, although what I had to say would have been more important, and a valid reason fdor getting the administration to intervene, whereas there was no reson for Dean Rivers or Garth Berman to jump in for the sake of a jealous girl.

Did that mean that there was some sort of chance for Zoey and Chase?

Well, this depended on whether either Chase or Zoey found the strength of fessing up. But it was first necessary to free Chase from the claws of Samantha Puckett. At least Dustin was now free, although he did not take it easy, and he was totally up to making Chase bleed for this. I had to do something about it, Samantha was barely worth for getting Dustin's fingers stained.

* * *

**2.4.8 Frank Murkin**

I visited Quinn again in order to talk about the changed situation.

And now it was the geek girl who admitted to not having said everything she knew, for a more difficult reason.

One of Samantha's last boyfriends in Seattle was a certain Frank Murkin.[2:22] A few weeks ago, this Frank had asked Quinn for medical help.

Quinn told me that she was not allowed to say more about the relationship between Frankie and Samantha, so she referred me to his mobile phone number.

This sounded strange, but I decided to contact Sam's ex boyfriend, for it was maybe necessary in order to save Chase from gettin pushed over the cliffs on a winter's day.

* * *

**2.4.9 Biomechatronics**

Frank Murkin had actually replied, and he was a bit worried. He had been dating Samantha a few weeks ago, and they used to make out in a tree. But all of a sudden, Samantha had been bored by him and started arguing, a stryuggle that had ended with him falling off the tree and getting many bones broken.

There was probably no proof that Samantha had really pushed him down to the ground, but she had deliberately attacked him and made him stumble, similar to the case of Leanne Carter.

Jeff wanted Quinn to prepare him biomechatronic implants, "I was a tennis player until my accident. With the implants, I will be able to resume this sport, and it will also let me impress girls again."

This sounded reasonable.

But Jeff was afraid that girls would like him less when knowing about his quality as a cyborg.

Of course it was understandable that girls did not really enjoy being fumbled all over by some robot arms.

For that reason, Frankie wanted to keep his biomechatronic implants a well guarded secret.

* * *

**2.4.10 Expelled Demon**

I had just talked to Zoey about the "accident" of Frankie Murkin while making out with Samantha Puckett up in some tree.

Zoey looked consternated. "She really murders even her boyfriends. There is no doubt that the boys of Pacific Coast Academy, from elementary school through high school seniours, need to be protected at all costs from this pernicious plague."

Chase had been sitting near us, and now he was consternated. "Hey, I also wish that …" He coughed noisily after having been so close to admitting to his feelings, but his courage had let him down again. He stammered, "I don't want to be pushed down from a tree … I mean … I already get nauseous when climbing one! And sometimes, there are racoons in the tres … that is no fun. Those beasts have already bit me."[2:23] He tried to show us a few scars, but most of them were definitely not from the teeth of a racoon, but from his many crashes against obstacles such as flag poles.

I also had to think about Quinn's attempts of crossbreeding racoons and skunks, creating, as she would probably call them, _skuncoons_, or even just _skoons_. Quinn wanted to perform this action now by means of manipulative genetic engineering, just as in the case of the banapples. But by working together, the failure of the banappales would possibly be avoided, leaving the geeks with a decent result.

Dustin qas buy the way thoroughly disgusted because Samantha had cheated on him, and he declared that he would not even take her back if she came unto him, crawling like a scolopendre and begging him on her knees.[2:24]

Little later, Samantha Puckett was dragged away by security team. The culprit claimed that we were not able to prove that she had pushed Frankie Murkin and Leanne Carter, and she admitted many similarly perverted crimes that we had never heard about. While being dragged off the campus, she bit and spit the security men everywhere, and stuff.

Melanie would not be glad about the removal of her sister from this school, and she would hold me responsible for it. I was not sure whether she would be over it any day.

I was really more worried about those kids that would be exposed to Samantha at her next school. The problem was thus just postponed and hidden under the carpet, but not eliminated.

Chase Matthews had noticed that Zoey had reacted with fits of jealousy when hearing about his date with Trisha alias Samantha. The iron was hot, and thus Chase was better forging something from it right now. Sooner or later, the metal would cool down and leading once more to incredibly hard work.

* * *

**2.5 Combat Droids**

* * *

**2.5.1 Annoying Teenagers**

Wayne Gilbert, Neil Wosinsky, and Andrew Bernstein were sitting in the cafeteria garden of Pacific Coast Academy, staring carefully at their laptops.

I thought that they were making an animation of their favorite cartoon heroes, but I was thoroughly mistaken.

Indeed they were working on some kind of a robot, but this time not a cyborg, a human with biomechatronic implants, as those that had recently been implanted into the body of Frankie Murkin by Quinn Pensky, but completely artificial beings.

The freaks were one of the team participating in the robot war league. They had to build such a machine fulfilling certain restrictions concerning size, weight, and materials and let it fight by means of a remote control against the robot of another team. The last bot to stand would be declared the winner.

Zoey asked wondered whether they had got a spare cupcake or so, and she asjked the freaks nicely for one.

The guys looked estranged at the blond Mary Sue. Wayne cackled in an annoying manner.

Chase remarked that Zoey was a girl, and that those freaks had nevr seen one in their lives. "Your mom doesn't count!"

In this moment, Melinda Crenshaw passed by and smooched Wayne resoundingly. I sensed that the kiss was exaggerated in order to make a point against Chase, although Mindy loved Wayne honestly.

Chase, Zoey, Nicole, Michael, Lola, and Logan coughed.

Mindy looked at teh laptop as well. "OK, have you calculated the momentum of the robot?" X Wayne shrugged. "There is still something fishy."

Mindy nodded. sat down, and typed something on the keyboard. "This should work better."

Wayne cackled perniciously.

Andrew explained what sort of robots they were building. "We have to hurry up, for the big state tournament will be next month, and the team of James K. Polk is supposed to be particularly tricky.

Wayne cackled even more.

Zoey remembered the days when she had ornated the backpack. "OK, that is really weird, isn't it? You have promised me an article in the school newspaper, but it never came up. What was going on?"

Mindy grinned. "Oh, you were too dumb for marketing your creation, so I mmade copies of the whole thing and sold them elsewhere."

Neil nodded. "Those kids aat James K. Polk were incredibly obsessed with buying the backpacks. They have even got a full time backpack vendor."

Zoey Brooks and Nicole Bristow went pale.

The bimbo wench from Kansas stammered, "backpack thief!"

Zoey and Michael explained the story of the fashionable backpacks unto Lola, who had not been here at Pacific Coast Academywhen whole story had happened.

Nicole explained, "you should really ask my uncle to help you suing the freak for planetarism."

"Plagiarism!" Zoey corrected her room mate.

Nicole looked aghast.

Mindy shrugged, rendering a pay check unto Ziey. "Royalties for the backpack design."

Zoey grunted, "I don't need your stinky money."

Chase and Michael looked at the cheques.

Chase replied, "I could buy many DVDs from that money."

Michael nodded. "And pop corn and Blix!"

Chase sighed. "Nothing beats a good movie evening with pop corn and Blix."

Zoey glared at her friends. "OK, we challenge you for a robot death match!"

Mindy shook her head.

Wayne cackled. "You can't be serious!"

Lola wondered, "hey, I have once auditioned for Galaxy Wars. There were also those stupid bots. They weren't that strong. We'll beat them."

Michael and Chase nodded.

Nicole wondered, "what are we talking about? Robots are not that cute."

Andrew growled. "oh, and don't think that Quinn would help you, she is in our team!"

Logan told Michael, "as long as I have got my credit card, no hope is lost."

* * *

**2.5.2 Miles Brody**

Indeed, there was a chance for Zoey's gang of finding a genius able to build a war robot able to compete with the machine built by Wayne and his pals.

Chase had heard of Miles Brody,[2:25] a senior that was hardly ever seen outside the main library of Pacific Coast Academy.

This building was named for Harry Schneider,[2:26] a sponsor of the college that had resided on this campus before the foundation of Pacific Coast Academy. Schneider had also been the founder of Schneider's Bakery, the most popular pastry chain along the whole west coast. That bakery was still one of the most influential sponsors of Pacific Coast Academy.

I happened to be in the library for a project for my literature classes, and so I heard a bit about teh conversation between Zoey's gang and Miles Brody, the meganerd.

Miles was apparently a very fast reader. He seemed to know why the kids were here and looking for his help.

The kids wondered whether Miles was practitioning telepathy.

But Miles blatantly denied its existence. He claimed that he had just put bits and pieces together, based on rumours. But how was a freak that locked himself into this book palace like twenty-four out of twenty- and seven out of seven even able to listen to rumours floating around outside the library?

Anyways, I knew that Miles was so thoroughly mistaken, and I swore that the filthy creep was in for having to pay dearly for his excessive ignorance.

Miles required a payment for his service, and this was not cheap. This payment was supposed to consist in a dinner date with Nicole Bristow. He was only negotiating with Zoey Brooks, though, which implied that the bimbo wench from Kansas was not even informed about the deal, let alone asked for her consent.

* * *

**2.5.3 Humiliated**

Miles Brody had probably come to know many a book by heart, but he was not really a creative, as opposed to Quinn, Mindy, or Wayne.

For that reason, Zoey's squad was unable to hold even a dimming candle to the science club.

Mindy Crenshaw had built a hyperbolic photon canon and combined it with Quinn's target finder system. This made Wayne's robot, a very small match box sized tank, fire deadly beams even around the corner. Murphy,[2:27] the teacher for physics and umpire of the contest, had to declare Wayne's team the winner after less than two seconds, and that was tantamount to establishing the record in the Californian robot battle league.

Alas, even in the case of a loss, the payment was due, and Zoey told Nicole now about it.

Of course, the bubbly teenage girl from Kansas was not exactly happy when she came to know that she was supposed to date Miles Brody.

This was of course totally unfair.

Zoey needed to persuade Nicole into abandoning her own pride in such a humiliating manner. She fell on her knees and crawled like a bug before the Kansas girl,

"Miles is ugly and the exact contrary of cute! Is there even a word for this?" squealed Nicole. In addition, she had got a boyfriend, Nicholas Webber, on whom she was not willing to cheat. This was the last feather to break the mammoth's back.

Michael said into Chase's direction, "That was not fair!"

Logan tried to bribe Nicole with money into following Zoey's deal, but in vain.

Lola sighed "I mighed dress as Nicole and …"

Michael gasped. "I certainly won't do anything like that."

Chase nodded. "Yeah, I hate stuffing grapefruit into my tanktop."

Michael agreed wholeheartedly with his pal.

Lola was of course a gifted actress, and I sensed that she wanted to hone her actng skills by pretending to be Nicole. The Hollywood actress was always watching out for occasions to pretend to be something completely different from herself, as I had seen for the first time when she was acting as a goth girl in order to fool Nicole and Zoey.

One problem was the fact that Nicole was taller than Lola.. The actress was going to fix this by wearing high heeled shoed, covering the heels with long trousers. A wig was also necessary in order to feign Nicole's hair. Lola would also have to dress in a typical bimbo style. But most importantly, she had to behave like Nicole.

Miles Brody was keen on observing things closely, so it was absolutely necessary for Lola to be perfect here in order to avoid giving him the tiniest hunch.

* * *

**2.5.4 Disgusting Date**

Lola's dinner date had been last night, and the pretty Latina was most throroughly disgusted by Miles Brody. "I tell you, he is the worst kisser in California. I needed to tale five pills in order to avoid vommiting during the date. He played awkward oldfashioned music, even worse than the crap that Logan's uncle[2:28] plays on his violent cell. Instead of kissing, he talked about the history and the antinomy of kissing, such as how the form of human lips has changed during the last gazillion of years."

Zoey corrected her silly room mate. "He plays the violoncello, which is like a violin, but much bigger. Besides, he probably told you about the anatomy of kissing, not the antinomy."

Logan stuffed his ears, as he was thoroughly embarrassed by his uncle, a professional classic musician at Los Angeles Philharmonic Orchestra.

After shuddering because of Zoey's lessons, Lola also reported about the dinner. "Raw vegetables with fat-reduced sour yogurt dip." Her face betrayed utter disgust.

Chase and Michael shuddered even more.

By the way, I had already sensed telepathically that Brody had swallowed the fake Nicole with hook, line, and sinker.

Lola's acting had thus been brilliant.

I still had to teach the library creep a lesson about telepathy and stuff, and the hard way was more appropriate here.

* * *

**2.5.5 The Death Battles**

* * *

** The Introduction**

So, this was the start of the big tournament in order to determine the Californian state champion in robot wars.

Wayne Gilbert, Andrew Bernstein, Neil Wosinsky, Melinda Crenshaw, and Quinn Pensky were extremely confident.

The organiser was Pear Electronics who also happened to be one of the hugest sponsors of Pacific Coast Academy. This was seen as an unfair advantage by many onlookers.

Each of use students had got a pearbook, which was sort of a laptop computer. Then there were Pear Pads, Pear Phones, Pear Pods, and many more.

But, looking closer, our team had not used much Pear stuff for building the robots, although this was suuggested by the sponsorhood.

Really, the main source for supplies were not sold in any of the Pear stores across the country, and not even in the not so public test stores. This was also valid for the stores of the great competitors of Pear, such as Mega Hard. Only research centres were able to deliver them, and one of them was of course California Institute For Technology, the domain of Calvin Coozeman, Quinn's standard provider with hard to get technical supplies, such as pulverised uranium.[2:29]

Quinn had built her own robot hardware, complete wuith its special operational system Quinndoze,[2:30] from scratch, using supplies from Caltech.

The umpire of the contest was Mr. Jamerson,[2:31] a teacher for science at some junior middle and high school in New York City. He was known for making his own inventions, promising them to work aboutseven hundred times better than the standard, but most of the time, those end up in a catastrophe, pretty much like Quinn's works. This suggested that Quinn and Jamerson would get along very well.

It was time for introducing the opponents.

Melinda was most excited because one of them was the team of San Diego Belleview High, and one of their members was aforementioned bigheaded dweeb Joshuah Nichols, the step brother of teenage rock idol Drake Parker and epic erstwhile crush of Melinda Crenshaw.

Josh was accompanied by two barely separable freaks: Eric Blonowitz and Craig Ramirez. They were still not sure about how to operate the whole device and argued over many details. But this did not mean they were harmless.

As already anticipated, the team of James K. Polk High from Santa Clarita was also in the ring. It xconsisted of Simon Nelson Cook, whom we had already met at our spring fling, but also of some Albert Wormenheimer, Lance Widget, and Evelyn Kwong.

The team of Lakewood, guided by smartass Felix Garcia and some Étienne, should not be quite forgotten, either.

The team of Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, consisting of middle school kids Sinjin van Cleef and Robert Shapiro, should not be neglected completely, but they were clearly no more but underdogs, exactly like the one man teams of some Sheldon alias Shell Shock[2:32] from Golden Bay in Frisco, Nelson Baxter from Brewster Elementary School, and Nolan Byrd[2:33] from Cedar Valley Middle School.

* * *

** Fighting Belleview**

The first serious match was againts the team of Melinda Crenshaw's former school.

Josh looked pretty much consternated when he saw Mindy holding proudly her robots in her arms. He had tried hard, but never been able to beat Mindy on the honour rolls of their school. And now it was the only chance for him to get back at her.

Mindy had never told Josh about her feelings, and now they were obsolete, because Wayne Gilbert had beaten Josh to the spot. But she was up to showing Josh what a loser he was.

Eric talked a lot about his device."The most important part is …" That was way too much tech talk for something like me, let alone most other fans that had coome to the tournament.

By the way, Zoey and her gang were in a totally stinky mood and thence skipping this event. barring Nicole. who had hoped to see some cute boys.

But the bimbo wench was now thoroughly disappointed.

Jamerson blew the opening whistle, and the robots stood face to face.

Ours was much smaller than that of the creeps from San Diego, but its ray weapons made it a whole lot more powerful.

After five minutes, Quinn's death ray almost vaporised Eric's device.

All onlookers, especially our future opponents, looked consternated.

Mindy glared at Josh. "Do you rue having dared to oppose me?"

Josh twitched and trembled like an idiot.

Mindy admitted, "I liked you, and I gave you several chances to join forces with me instead of standimng in my way and getting eliminated. But now it is too late. You always took Drake's side, and you have to pay for this!" She threatend pushing a most dangerous red button.

Josh squealed and begged for mercy. He knew that he had it coming. He had never heard Mindy confessing her feelings for him, but he would not have refused to listen to her, anyways, and stuck up for his foul step brother.

I met Megan in the audience.

Drake's little sister looked really embarrassed. "Those boobs are nothing but a never ending shame." Then she told me about things that had happened in San Diego during the last months since the spring party. "Josh had tried out as a student teacher, but it was a plain catastrophe, I tell you,"[2:34]

* * *

** Facing The Worminator**

All other opponets had given up, and the last one to stand was no other than the Worminator of the team from Santa Clarita.

Simon Nelson Cook was ready to face Quinn's battle droid of doom, the Quinnterruptor.

Jamerson counted the seconds. "Five … Four … Three … Two"

The killer rays were sent across the battle arena.

Fortunately, we were protected by once-sided mirrored plexiglass.

The ray weapons were only legal if they wore not able to destroy it, and I remembered how much fine tuning Quinn had to invest into adapting the Quinnterruptor to this rule while making it stay powerful enough to roast the foes into the postapocalyptic era.

The battle lasted for over half an hour, as both of the droids have been well protected against the weapons of the respective foe.

It was now obvious that only a human failure would lead to a decision. This was kind of a relief in an overtechnologised world.

After over forty minutes, Simon Nelson Cook felt the need to release the growing pressure of his abdominal bladder. "Maybe I should not have drunk three cups of blix in morning, and Gordy's extra strong coffee."

Said Gordy was the pupil-friendly custodian of James K. Polk middle school.

Quinn smiled, remarking sadistically: "Oh you need a pee break? Too bad there's no such thing in the rules allowing for that."

Cookie almost cringed for pressure. On the other hand, he did not dare to pee while conducting the Worminator. And he knew that if he turned around in order to perform that disgustin activity, Quinn would abuse the situation in order to shoot the robot of James K. Polk into tiny smithereens.

Quinn made fun of it. "Oh, you are not manly enough?"

Cookie looked aghast, and then his pants went all wet, so it was too late anyways. This shock was too much for him, and he fell onto the floor, cringing and weeping.

Quinn sighed deeply. Filled with extreme pity, she dropped her remote control in order to take care of her opponent. "Come on, Cookie, next time, you will take care of that and equip yourself with a deurinator, just like me. It is not really hard to invent, at least the girls' version wasn't, and you will sure find a way for the boys' variant." She helped him up.

Suddenly, both of teh abandoned robots stopped. The batteries had been only lasting for one hour, or even less when special attacks were used.

Jamers could not help declaring it a draw.

I shrugged carelesly. "OK, maybe even geeks are more human than we think."

The teams of Santha Clarita and Malibu had to shre the first prize, which was still a lot. But it would soon be obvious that the war robots costed way too much.

Did I just sense sparks flying between Quinn and Cookie? Or were those just the sparks of the overcharged robots?

* * *

**2.5.6 Annoying Miles**

One day had passed since the robot wars. Now I was roaming once more our library for another class project.

Miles was sitting in his usual place in the library.

Ihad still not made him pay dearly for his stubborn folly of denying the possibility of telepathy.

Miles was reading a thick book, and that insanely fast.

But with some efforts, I was able to figure what he was thinking about the text while reading it.

I showed up and started talking about the book. "So, you really think the book is disappointing? And you know it all better?" I giggled.

Miles panted heavily. "Malika, what are you doing here? No, I still don't believe in …" He was already thinking about the next book to read,

I pushed the encyclopedia telekinetically off the shelve, letting it slump onto Miles's chest. "Ouch … hey, I wanted to read that anyways … no, I won't believe that" But he has gone pale. Then he jumped up and fled from this place, unusually fast and screaming like a baby. I sensed that he still refused to believe in my telepathy, but he was no longer sure whether he had just seen the ghost of a dead librarian.

And this leads us without force to the approaching end of October and the time of remembering the dead.

* * *

**2.5.7 End Of Robot War League**

The costs for production and the repair were huge — roughly spoken.

The science club of Pacific Coast Academy had spent twice as much money as granted by the plans of the board.

The same thing was certainly valid for other teams as well.

Claire Sawyer, a middle school girl at James K. Polk, had figured that teh school would go bankrupt within three years if the geeks kept on wsting money on robots that get trashed every other weak. For that reason, she had gathered signatures for closing down the Californian war robot league for good, even against teh will of her pals Simon Nelson Cook, Albert Wormenheimer, Lance Widget, and Evelyn Kwong.

Executive Chairman Berman had now come down in order to declare the robot war stuff officially for illegal, against the excited and emphatic protests of Wayne Gilbert.

Of course it did not help that Mindy and Firewire had shot a big hole into the beloved classic car of our executive chairman when training with the laser cannons of the Quinnterruptor. They should rather have perforated his evil wife instead of his metal darling, for the former would have probably made him laugh, while the latter made him cry.

So our science club was now forced to watch out for a new way to win trophies. There were certainly competitions that did nor require robots to trash each other and to mess with the cars of most important sponsors and alumni.

Quinn had just looked up various possibilities on the interweb, and she found a web site about billiard playing robots.

We had got pool tables in the lounges, and Quinn had sometimes extended her cue stick with biomechatronic means, shocking the onlookers.[2:35]

Now there was a challenge looking for a billiard robot able to perform certain tricky shots that are already difficult for humans. The award was big enough to pay the expenses of the science club of the last three years.

Having built and deployed the biomechatronic implants for Frank Murkin has already taught Quinn the essentials about artificial fine motorics.

The team just had to adjust a few things and then study the tricky billiard problem in order to program a robot appropriately.

Wayne, Melinda, Andrew, and Neil agreed with Quinn.

* * *

**2.5.8 Beautiful Bot**

The robot built by Wayne Gilbert for Zoey and the gang had certainly failed miserably in his mission to face the Quinnterruptor. But it had still been good for winning something.

More precisely, Jeremiah Trottman, the chief reporte of Pacific Coast Academy campus channel, had sent the pictures of the robot battle to some regional broadcast team, and the robot was deemed appropriate for a prize for its artistic design.

Of course, Miles had not got any sense for fine arts, although he had read a lot about it.

The esthetic design had been provided by Zoey Brooks and her roomies.

Of course it was only a small prize, but it comforted Zoey and Lola significantly.

* * *

**2.6 Halloween**

* * *

**2.6.1 Spooky House**

Halloween was around the corner, and, just like about everywhere in the United States Of America, the kids here were preparing for an appropriate party.

Unfortunately, the former holy day of the celtic peoples had degenerated into a shallow secular feast.

Traditionally, the freshmen of Pacific Coast AcademyHigh School were organising a ghost house for the younger pupils. This year, it was all left in the hands of Logan Reese.

The perversely spoiled son of the leading Hollywood producer was very ambitious, and he declared that his goal was giving the word _scared_ a totally new meaning. He even wanted — according to my senses — to use the spook party in order to produce pictures for a new horror movie by his dad, and use the kids as involuntary background actors. Of course he did not mention his real intentions.

But Zoey Brooks feared that Logan was going out of his way. She feared especially for Dustin's mental sanity.

Dustin was stuck in a stupid situation. He was totally afraid of ghosts and demons, but he did not want to appear uncool by showing his inevitable dismay in the public.

* * *

**2.6.2 French Visitors**

Little later, two adults entered our campus, speaking French.

Last year, Zoey had been one of the best students in her French class, and she was certainly able to understand the intruders.[2:36] But she feigned not understanding the strangers at all.

This was of course weird, but more understandable as soon as I sensed that Zoey seemed to know them, but did not want to show this.

The visitors were later introduced by some staff member as André Chaumont and his wife Monique.[2:37] They were said to be from an upscaling French boarding school, and they wanted to learn how to manage one properly. Pacific Coast Academywas thus a great example for boarding schools world-wide.

But how was Zoey familiar with them, and why did she not want to reveil this unto the public, including her "friends'?

In this moment, I remembered that Dana was said to have switched to some boarding school in France. At the beginning of the academic year, Zoey had reported this tranfer, and I had sensed that she had been pulling the strings behind this action.

Dana was too arrogant for learning voluntary foreign languages. She claimed that anyone talking to her needed to speak her tongue. In other words, her switch to France had been a punishment.

So, my guess was that André and Monique were important people from Dana's school, and that Zoey had met them, or at least contacted them, in order to get rid of her bully room mate.

Of course this was a rough guess, and I needed to check the details before bothering anyone here with this annoying discovery.

Oh, wait, something was fishy with André. He was by no means the man he wanted us to believe to be, and he was snooping around here. Was he a foreign governmental sky or something?

* * *

**2.6.3 Lola's Absence**

Lola was not on our campus during these days. Apparently, she was going to audition for a horror movie to be made by Malcolm Reese. But why would she need three days straight off for a simple auditioning? Usually, an afternoon was enough to make it to Hollywood and back.

From the beginning of her life at Pacific Coast Academy there had been many kids wondering why Lola was enrolled at this general prep school, and not at some special school for future actresses such as Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts.

This was actually the fault of her mother who wanted the pretty teenage Latina to become a teacher for Spanish and English.

Anyways, Pacific Coast Academy was not a bad choice for future Hollywood stars, as already explained when talking about the school's drama club.

Lola was even of the opinion that our new drama teacher, Sikowitz, had increased her acting prowess in a most significant manner.

Sikowitz was deemed a bit weird by most of my fellow pupils. He was almost bald headed, and he uswed to chuickle with two coconuts most of the time, for whatever weird reason. He emphasised very much the virtues of improvisation, total concentration on your rôle, and independence from criticism.

So, Lola was up to auditioning for a horror movie by Malcolm Reese, while Logan Reese was — according to my sixth sense — up to using the haunted estate for shooting scenes for a horror movie. Was there a connection, kind of, sort of?

This made perfect sense, as Lola had been particularly excited on her first day at Pacific Coast Academy because the son of the producer was here, too. So I combined these observation into the conclusion that Lola was going to participate in the horror house, and this was to be kept a secret from the other pupils.

* * *

**2.6.4 Costumes**

Of course, Halloween today was nothing without appropriate costumes.

It hurt me a lot that most costiumes of today were no longer standing in any connection with the proper significance of halloween.

Many costumes had been designed and tailored — just as usual — by Zoey Brooks, especially her own as a dumb busty blonde from the last millennium.

Nicole Bristow, on the other hand, had chosen a theme related more or less closely to her homelands in Kansas. She was dressed as infamous Dorothy from modern american fairy tale _The Wizard Of Oz_.[2:38]

OK, the wizard of Oz was really much more of a harmless fool than a wizard, or maybe he was really the solution, indicating that chaos and humbug actuaklly lead to a higher goal? I better invested some efforts into this book. It might look like a story for kids, but there is inevitibly something deep underneath that neither kids nor most adults tend to see in it.

Quinn Pensky was clad as Albert Einstein that famous phycist who is known for black holes and clocks going faster or slower, depending on where they are and how to move. Of course, smart kids like Quinn, Mindy, and Wayne knew it all relly well.

Chase Matthews believed in looking like a vampire, but almost everyone else thought him to look like a sorcerer. For me, he looked just plain silly.

Michael was dressed as a zombie, really awkward abd disgusting. For some people, he made the impression of a sick and wounded refuugee from hospital, though.

Logan was not dressed up as anything than the real jerk that he had always been and would always be.

* * *

**2.6.5 Zombie Hunt**

Michael was not yet allowed to enter thehasunted house along with the others, as he had been commanded by Logan to await the delivery of more supplies for the horror party.

On the one hand, I wanted to avoid that Logan abused the young kids deliberately as involuntary cameos in a horror show, by letting the blood and tears freeze in their body when going through what he called the tunnels of horror, or something like that. On the other hand, I desperately needed to figure the closer connection between Zoey Brooks and the Chaumonts.

I had looked up the web site of the French boarding school. It mentioned Monique Chaumont, but no signs of André. OK, this did not already make Andr';e Chaumont an utter fake, but his demeanour … he was not as familiar with Monique as he pretended to be, so much was for sure.

While Michael was waiting at the drop site, the Chaumonts walked closer, and they actually mistook Michael for some heavily injured guy. They decided to capture him and take him to the next hospital.

I shook my head and walked up to them. "This is Michael, and he is not injured, he is dressed as some monster, and that makes him look ugly."

Monique did not understand me, as she was probably not yet familiar enough with the English language.

But André knew surely what I was talking about, yet he refused to admit to understanding it.

Along came Matthew Palmer Noid. Like me, he was not dressed at all. For, us, the body and the whole worldly existence was the disguise of the soul, so there .

While looking for the right moment to strike against Miles Brody, I had found a wonderful poem about it. The author was a certain Fernando António Nogueira Pessoa.

* * *

How many masks wear we, and undermasks,  
Upon our countenance of soul, and when,  
If for self-sport the soul itself unmasks,  
Knows it the last mask off and the face plain?

The true mask feels no inside to the mask  
But looks out of the mask by co-masked eyes.  
Whatever consciousness begins the task  
The task's accepted use to sleepness ties.

Like a child frighted by its mirrored faces,  
Our souls, that children are, being thought-losing,  
Foist otherness upon their seen grimaces

And get a whole world on their forgot causing;  
And, when a thought would unmask our soul's masking,  
Itself goes not unmasked to the unmasking.

* * *

This wonderful sonnet, in our view, covered perfectly the essence of Halloween, or of human existence as a whole, for there was most likely not much of a difference between the two of them. Halloween was but human existence in a nutshell, wasn't it?

OK, that would keep me busy for many more months.

Matthew knew a bit more French, and he had to tell the visitors something else, mentioning the existence of an infirmary, right on our campus. This would at least make a trip to the hospital in town obsolete.

Now there was no excuse for the visitors left, and we could drag Michael to the nurse's station.

Unfortunately, the nurse was known as an evil beast. Her syringes were true horror, as opposed to the house of spooks.

Michael gave in, as he hoped that the nurse would have seen that he was not really sick and then sent him home pretty soon again, allowing him to perform the task imposed upon him by Logan.

On the way to the infirmary, I sensed the thoughts of André Chaumont. He was really some sort of an undercover agent, but not a foreign spy. Rather, he seemed to research some scandals going on in this school.

* * *

** Tunnels Of Horror**

I caught Quinn, and I remembered that she was a great surgeon. "Hey, the visitors from paris refuse to understand that Michael is dressed as a zombie, and not injured. Would you please go to the infirmary, where they are taking him into, and examine Michael, so that the visitors leave him alone? I think the nurse is already tired and will get grumpy when waking up."

Quinn nodded solemnly. "OK, I am on my way there. But Michael will not get away that easily."

Zoey was up to siomething, probably trying to scare the living hell out of Logan. But this was the right moment for informing her about Logan's real vicious intentions. "OK, Zoey, Logan is abusing you as cheap and involuntary backup actors for a horror movie."

Zoey did not want to believe this.

But then Nicole squealed like a fury from hell, because she had seen a ghost, or something like that. She apparently had got a heart attack.

I sighed, as Quinn was already gone.

Zoey qgrunted, "Logan, if you are really using us … fess up now, or you will be in alot of troubles later on."

Logan refused to give up, and he laughed hysterically.

Zoey panted. "OK, this proves that he is just using us shamelessly."

Logan startled upon this remark, and he sent all the hidden cams away.

In this moment, Ashley Blake and Lola Martinez walked in through the backdoor, looking totally consternated. They were dressed as walking skeletons. "Hey! You have promised us a rôle in the movie _The Return Of The Dead_. But now the cams are all disappearing, and the whole casting is impossible."

Zoey gasped. "Lola? You have been hidden here all day long?"

Lola nodded solemnly.

Zoey was now in a really stinky mood. "You have tried to help Logan to create the most perverse grisly house in the history of Pacific Coast Academy, scaring kids like Dustin to death? I am so disappointed by you."

Lola begged like a puppy. "But Zoey, this is one of my biggest chances in order to make my first Oscar at the age of fifteen."

But Zoey remained tough. "You will still get more chances, and in legal and honest auditions, not something like this crap."

Lola coughed. "Oh, I am dishonest? Do you want to say that? And what about your sudden lack of knowledge of the French language?"

Nicole glared at Zoey. "Er, yeah, you always know everything … how come you did not understand the foreign guests?"

Even Dustin was astonished. "Zoey? Tell me that you are not dumb! You have taught me French over the summer break, haven't you?"

Zoey choked and coughed. She weas only able to stammer like an idiot. "Erm … I …"

* * *

**2.6.6 Halloween At J.K. Polk**

At Polk's, there had been a haunted hallway instead of our haunted house.[2:39] It had been run by Edmond Bigby and Simon Nelson Cook. Erstwhile principal Pal had feigned having died from a heart attack in that grisly location, fooling everyone including vice principal Crubs and custodian Gordy.

I came to hear about it two days after halloween from Wayne Gilbert.

The latter had been at the partu at James K. Polk in order to participate in a role playing game organised by Mr. Quest,[2:40] their teacher for computer technology. Quest and Wayne got along fairly well, after all, or so it seemed at least.

It was a halloween special role- and costume playing campaign about some undead-based theme from his favourite _DC_ and _Marvel_ comics.

Wayne cackled and talked about his evening over there. "I had got the ability of turning invisible."

I gasped and imagined the possibilies, and I felt strangely energised for a few seconds. Then I felt normal again, but a lot weaker.

Wayne stammered, remarkuing: "Hey, did you just go invisible in front of my eyes?" He was no longer able to cackle.

If Wayne was right, and other witnesses would soon confirm him, I was able to turn invisible for a few moments, but unable to control it. In addition, doing so was certainly drainling.

Fortunately, I would be able to hide this from most of the pupils.

Rumours about my invisibility would roam the camus, but pass as Halloween jokes, at least for most of the kids.

Now, there was a real reason why Wayne Gilbert told me about his evening at James K. Polk.

* * *

During our role playing, we also came to talk aout magic healing.

Neil was assigned the rôle of a mystery shaman.

Quest told us that he was hell bent on demonstrating that mystic healing abilities of all sorts were not restricted to rôle playing, and that he was able to perfrom them as well.

* * *

Wayne was aware of some of my minor healings, but he had not believed that it was more than an accident.

Mr. Quest was a very interesting person, indeed.

I needed to find out more about him and his progress.

* * *

**2.6.7 The Secret Identity**

Quinn Pensky had duly treated Michael, reveiling that he was not sick at all. of course this had been obvious from the beginning, but it had taken its time in order to convince the visitors.

Finally, Quinn had found out the secret identity of the visitors.

Monique Chaumont was really a woman from Paris, albeit also with Italian roots. And Dana Cruz was a student at Monique's school. Zoey Brooks had been responsible for getting Dana enrolled overseas. This explained why she did not want us to see her connection with Monique.

André, on the other hand, was a fake. He was a detective from the department for Education. His real name was Davide Alessandro Di Cristoforo.[2:41] He was apparently researching some sort of scandal or corruption in which our school, its board, or its administration was involved.

Given the nature of our sponsors, this was not really surprising.

I guessed that there had been similar scandals in France, and Monique Chaumont's school had been or was still involved in one. She was thus a valuable adviser and maybe an important witness for Di Cristoforo''s office.

In any case, we would soon hear news about a possible return of Dana Cruz to Pacific Coast Academy.

* * *

**2.7 Web Shows**

* * *

**2.7.1 Nicole's Obsession**

Nicole Bristow and Nicholas Webber had been steadily dating since the end of the previous academic year. But this did not prevent either of them from their bimbo like demeanour.

As opposed to popular opinion, Nicole was not obsessed with boys, but only with cuteness. And this did by no means go away with a dedicated boyfriend.

One problem was that she spent a lot of money when shiopping. For better or worse, there was little to shop on our campus and Nicole was only able to spend her bucks en masse in downtown Los Angeles. And the rules of our school did not allow her to hang out there without a responsible adult, which was not easy to get at. The safest bet was Coco Wexler, the messy dormitory adviser, who was easy to bribe with a can of ravioli. Once a month in average, a bus took interested students downtown to the centre of Los Angeles, supervised by some teacher or staff member assigned by Dean Rivers. This was another great opportunity for Nicole, but only if she was able to hide her shopping prowess from that responsible person.

The money for her shopping activities had to be borrowed from fellow students or staff members.

Her first and most important source had been Zoey Brooks, unto whom Nicole owed now probably hundreds of bucks, if not more. But Zoey had been less willing to support Nicole's shopping fever after the bimbo wench had refused to date Miles Brody in turn for the battle robot.

Now Nicole tried other sources to get at money. Sonetimes, her relative sent her bucks for new books and other useful stuff she used to claim to need urgently. Of course, the money was spent on shopping useless cute things.

As of recent, it was no longer necessary for Nicole to roam shops off the campus. The expansion of the interweb had increased to possibility of online shopping. Granted, Nicole was not an expert in using computers and other modern technology, but Quinn was usually ready to help her out.

The post office of Pacific Coast Academy was busy receiving deliveries for Nicole and sending her messengers in order to tell her to fetch the parcels.

The wrappers started littering Zoey's and Lola's dorm which was sort of a problem.

Needless to say, whoever had lent money to Nicole was waiting for getting it back, abnd Nicole's debts were soon going to become quite some problem.

* * *

**2.7.2 A Lame Show By Chase And Michael**

Chase Matthews and Michael Barret had started making a new web show. It was currently only available on the intraweb of Pacific Coast Academy, but the guys wanted to move on to the whole interweb in the case of being successful.

But, honestly spoken, the show was lamer than a horse without legs.

Jeremiah Trottman, the chief editor of the school's newspaper alias _The Daily Stingray_, critisised it miserable level.

One reason was the fact that naither Michael nor Chase, especially not the latter, were in any way tech freaks.

Quinn Pensky would of course have been a good choice for a tech producer. But she was still at odds with Zoey, and she was busy with many other Quinnventions, including especially the preparations for thhe billiard robot and the genetic costruction of the skunkoon. She was in a hurry, because the bill for repairing the car of executive chairman Garth Berman after the partial distruction effected by the Quinnterruptor was now added to the debts of the science club. But in her current situation, she was onlty able to chose a web cam for them and establish their site in the virtual privacy network's name space.

Oh, those dweebs were really awkward when trying to deal with the web cam and the microphone.

The content of their interweb show was even a trifle worse. They tried to drink coffee while singing the anthem, and other crazy stuff. This was an insult to our ears. Not even their hand made cartoons could statisfy the expectations of the potential viewers.

* * *

**2.7.3 Method Acting**

Dustin had told Nicole how he had once been cured from a flu by my hands, and now the bimbo wench thought that I could do the same in order to help her to concentrate better on school stuff and her friends. Otherwise her parents would be forced to with her from Pacific Coast Academy and return her to Kansas, where it was all boring and uncute.

I sighed deeply. "No addiction may be removed by handlaying."

Lola had told Nicole that she had once been hypbotised in order to concentrate better on her rôle.[2:42] "But Sikowitz has found other ways to achieve the same."

Nicole scratched her chin. "For example?"

Lola panted heavily. "Sikowitz calls it _Method Acting_,[2:43] which is _taking on the person of a previously determined character for a prolonged period of time, uninterrupted by participating in daily off__-__stage life._"

Nicole gasped. "Ummm … does not sound cute …"

Lola explained, "for example, I had to act as a goth girl during my first day here at Pacific Coast Academy. But you better ask Sikowitz himself, as that was a very special exercise for advanced actors."

Nicole sighed deeply, as she remembered how she had fallen for thos uncanny disguise. "OK, I guess method acting is it …where do I find that Psycho Freak?"

Lola growled, "Sikowitz … but, OK your word describes him accurately."

* * *

**2.7.4 Nicole's Rôle**

I was accompanying Nicole to the office of Sikowitz.

Properly spoken, there was no such room, as Sikowitz was not a full time teacher here at Pacific Coast Academy, but a room that served him once a week for a similar purpose.

The drama teacher was carefully juggling three coconuts at the same time.

I told him what Lola had tried to explain us about method acting. "Nicole can't concentrate in school, and so she needs some training. According to Lola, your method acting will help."

Sikowitz scratched the little hair that was still on his head. One of his coconuts was dropped and fell on his feet. "Oops! That's what you get for not concentrating on your rôle." He sighed deeply. "You have heard of that dumb comedy show on the PCA web? Chase and Michael something …"

Nicole nodded solemnly. "Thosae guys are my friends. It is a cute show!"

Sikowitz choked. "OK, your task is working as a French stand-up comedian during the next week, especially in the next session of that show. Prepare well for it, and don't let anyone distract you from doing so."

Nicole shrugged. "OK, that sounds cute."

The first task did not sound too hard for the bimbo wench. But was Nicole really up to it when bothered by Zoey, Lola, Logan, Chase, and Michael?

* * *

**2.7.5 Nicole On The Web**

It was time for the next web session of Chase and Michael, and this time, Nicole was up to performimg. She had preopared for her rôle all day and all night, entertaining her roomies, her table mates, ger class mates and teachers during the lessons, and random passengers on the campus during the leisurely hours of the day.

Quinn Pensky had adjusted the web cam of Chase Matthews. She had no time for doing this every session, but she had figured that by taking turns with Wayne Gilbert, Melinda Crensgaw, Andrew Bernstein, and Neil Wosinsky, there would be quite a few session with competent technical direction.

I was sitting in the lounge of my hall.

Melanie had opened her lap top for a bigger group of kids to watch.

If the show turns out successful, the group of tech freaks would connect the Pacific Coast Academy web with the big plasma screen in Brenner Hall.

Chase introduced himself and Michael. Then he sighed. "OK, today, we have got a special guest, our dear friend Nicole Bristow from Kansas."

Nicole growled, "hey, I am a French stand-up comedian, from Paris!" She spoke with a French accent. Alas, she was not at ease, because we had heard from Monique Chaument that Dana was thinking about coming back. But her method acting required not getting bothered by this fact.

Michael sighed. "OK, mademoiselle Nicole …" He coughed. During the visit of Monique Chaument, he had learned that his French classes had been one big waste of time. For that reason, using French names and titles had become a pain in his guts.

Nicole started talking fun stuff.

* * *

Last week, I was in Paris. I sat in a little street bistro, and I ordered a beef steak.

The waiter replied, "with pleasure, Mademoiselle!"

I was upset. "What? I can't even find that on the menu. I like my steak with French fries and Hollandaise sauce, not with … pleasure!"

But the guy next door was worse off. he complained about a fly in his soup, and the waiter came with a huge sqirting can of pesticide, releasing it all over the dishes.

After my meal, the same waiter asked me,"how did you find ypur beef steak?"

Well, I had to surch for it under the vegetables and the fries, which had taken me three minutes.

* * *

Chase and Michael started giggling mercilessly.

Nicole went on like this for many minutes, harvesting a lot of applause.

Finally, Chase thanked "Madame Nicole" for her entertaining efforts.

Unfortunately, Nicole's next task of the week chosen by Sikowitz would be not so entertaining, so Chase would have to look for other guests in order to maintain the increased popularity of the show.

* * *

**2.7.6 The Search For A Guest Star**

I met Chase again an hour after the session of his web show.

"Hey, Mals, you have already bent my spoons several times" The bushy dork stammered nervously.

I sighed. "Yeah, that happens, why?"

Chase wondered, "can't you do that in our web show? Next week, for example."

I gasped. "I am not sure whether I want all that much attention." On the other hand, I had wreaked — nolens volens — a few weird things in the cafeteria already, making it harder and harder to avoid being known as some spoon bender, anyways. "But OK, let us give it a try."

* * *

**2.7.7 Spoon Bending Online**

The great hour was here, the first performance in front of a camera and an audience waiting for something weird to happen.

This was a big step upwards from my occasional involuntary deeds in teh cafeteria.

By the way, Miles Brody had never showed up again on the campus since he had fled from my demonstration of telepathy. Oh well, that dweeb was really not much of a big loss, anyways.

Andrew Bernstein counted down the seconds. "Online in five … four … three … two"

I waited for the "one", and so did Chase and Michael.

But that number never came up.

Andrew remarked that the "one" was not a cool thing to say.

We shrugged carelessly. "freak!"

Unfortunately, we had been online for half a minute while still waiting for the "one".

Michael gasped. "Sorry, I am Michael!"

Chase nodded. "I Know, and I am Chase. Together, we are making the _Chase Amd Michael Show_."

Andrew inserted a virtual banner that Quinn had developed recently.

Chase sighed. "Our special guest of the day is malika Ritter from Seattle in Washington DC."

I poked him. "Hey! Seattle belongs to te state of Washington, whichh is across the continent from Washington, DC."

Chase and Michael looked dumbfounded.

The onlookers took this as a piece of intentional comedy, as I would come to hear after the session.

Michael introduced me. "You may have encountered bent spoons in the cafeteria, and Malika is responsible for those."

I shrugged.

Chase continued, "and she is still very humble at that."

I panted heavily. "OK, today, I will make Michael disappear, and …"

Michael shivered. "I do not want to disappear." He looked around for himself, but did not find anything. "Chase, am I still here!"

Chase nodded solemnly.

Michael sighed for relief.

Seconds later, I lifted some books lying on Chase's desk with my mind. "Are you still going to read this?"

Chase gasped. "Oops, this is for my homework that is due tomorrow morning!"

I nodded. "better hurry up! And you might need this!"

A piece of rubber that I had made float above his head dropped into his hands.

Chase sighed. "Thanks, I have already forgotten where I left it last night. But where is my ball pen?"

I sensed, "under your pillow."

Chase wanted to pick it up, but I already made the pillow float for his sake.

Finally, our time was up. I was not willing to make this a permanent segment, as the viewers would have expected more surprising miracles from week to week, and this would have been dangerous.

But now it was no longer much of a problem for Chase and Michael to find other guests to star in their web show.

* * *

**2.8 Jerk In The Fountain**

* * *

**2.8.1 Lola's Tutor**

A few weeks had gone by since my first appearance in Michael's and Chase's web show. I had not yet been performing again over there.

Now I was sitting in our lounge in oprder to wait for Melanie to return from cheerleader practoce.

The less evil twin of Samantha Puckett was still far from being over the deserved expulsion of Samantha.

Lola and Zoey walked in friom the dormitory hallways, discussing the last lessons.

The pretty Latina remarked that she was stuck in biology, and she needed a tutor.

Zoey suggested Chase Matthews. "He is the best in biology."

Certainly, this was so far from true. During the whole previous year, Zoey had needed to tutor Chase in order to get him anywhere.[2:44] No, there was a totally different reason for Zoey to suggest Chase. She was tired by his ways of hanging out around her like a lovesick puppy, or so I sensed.

Likewise, I was sure that Lola was not really honest when talking about the need for a tutor. Of course, she was not a brilliant student in science, but she was not all that dumb, just a bit dull.

Zoey sighed. "I have to learn more for my history test about the presidents. Did you know that Howard Taft's pants were suited for elephants?"[2:45]

Lola shrugged. "I have never seen an elephant wearing pants."

* * *

**2.8.2 Solo Trombone**

Quinn walked by me with her brass wind instrument.

I wondered, "so, this is the the one you've learned to blow as a little girl, along with Samantha Puckett?"

Quinn nodded solemnly. "But I am not really into that music. It is for a scientific project about the vibrations in metals."

I sensed that Quinn knew something about Samantha's current whereabouts.

So,did Melanie, but either of them refused to talk about it.

Quinn started blowing her trombone, scaring the living hell out of anyone.

Matthew Palmer Noid walked up to me. "That is disappointing. I had hoped for better music on the campus, but…"

Quinn grunted, "hey! How dare you to critisise my trombone skills."

She was horribly for someone who was not really into that music.

* * *

**2.8.3 Dustin's Despair**

Dustin Brooks had dropped Trisha for good when he had been disappointed upon her adultery with Chase Matthews. He had hoped that Wendy Gellar would care about him now that he had already made out with other girls and was no longer some unexperienced loser.

But Wendy was still not willing to give Dustin a chance, and that hurt him even more.

But now he turned insane by asking Logan Reese for advice. This was so horrible, fopr Logan was a complete jerk, had always been, and would always be until the age of dystopia, with no exception whatsoever.

Of course Zoey was by absolutely no means happy about Distin's choice of guidance. Clearly, she was up to something, and my giess was that she was thinking about getting Dustin ti date a girlfriend of her choice, and to teach Logan a reason — the hard way.

While the dandy certainly deserved to get punished severely, selecting a girl for Duston was not so much of a good thing. Really, it just emphasised how much Zoey was into controlling her little brother, like a string-pulled marionette.

Needless to say, Dustin was not willing to let Zoey get away with it, and as soon as he had found out about Zoey's matchmaking activities, he would be very mad at the chosen girl, whether she was nice to him or not, and then he was likely to turn once more to Logan, regardless of how stupid this would be.

* * *

**2.8.4 The Baldwin Sisters**

It was not hard for me to figure who would have beem Zoey Brooks' preferred future sister in law.

This winter term, there had been a few new pupils at Pacific Coast Academy.

One of them were Tracy and Alexandra Katerina Baldwin,[2:46] former students at Belleview in San Diego.

Zoey had helped high school girl Tracy during the first days here. The latter was now a sophomore girl.

Sandy Baldwin was very much familiar with Megan Parker, as they had been class mates at Belleview elementary school.

Zoey and Tracy were talking a lot behind their froends' and family's back, making it obvious that they were trying to do something in order to save Dustin from the corrupting influence of the sheik.

* * *

**2.8.5 Lola Dates Chase**

I stood once more in the lounge, just to hear the latest news from bypassing students.

Lola Martinez, the pretty Latina and future Hollywood starlet, was dateing her tutor for biology, absolutely uncomely and bushy dweeb.

Of course there was something excruciatingly fishy, for Lola was only into good kissers, and Chase was the epitome of inept kissing and still addicted to Zoey Brooks.

And what was Zoey's reaction to this arrangement?

Well, she claimed to be OK with it, but I sensed that she was somewhat jealous, although that was really creepy.

And now I started thinking to make sense of it. Lola was acting as Chase's date, with the intention of making Zoey go jealous and claim Chase for good. Yes, she had been sensibly tired of the blond Mary Sue's inability when it came doen to seeing Chase's feelings for her. And either Chase or Lola must have figured how jealous Zoey had grown after the hearing that Chase and Trisha had started dating, although it had been more of a misunderstanding on both ends.

Lola was a very good actress, as we had already seen when she achieved fooling someone like Miles Brody, who was an excessively accurate and careful observer, into thinking that she was Nicole Bristow. It took much more than a wig and Nicole's clothes to fool such a nerd. Of course, fooling Zoey was also not that easy.

My honest opinion, on the other hand, was that boys making agirl deliberately jealous were not worthy of her, for this was a lowly, dishonest, and absolutely perverse abuse of feelings. And the fact that Lola and Zoey were room pals and friends did not make anything any better. Many girls had got qualms in dating an ex-boyfrind of one of their best friends, and even much bigger qualms in taking one away from them. I knew that those rules, often known as _girly code_ were foolish and decadent, but I was not able to dissuade Zoey from following them.

This means that Zoey was now in a very bad situation, and Lola and Chase were downright cruel.

So, would it have been my moral duty to tell Zoey about the whole dirty business?

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. On the one hand, it was not my business, and I was not doing much more than guessing. I sensed that Zoey was not unlikely to panic badly when hearing the truth — according to my intuition — about Chase's feelings and the farce he and Lola were trying to perform in front of Zoey's eyes and her heart.

* * *

**2.8.6 Double Date**

According to no other than Jack Ross, his room pal Dustin and Logan Reese were up to a double date with two fairly new girls at Pacific Coast Academy, videlicet: Tracy and Sandy Baldwin! This was the first live lesson of Logan he was going to teach unto Dustin in order to show him the deeper secrets of womanising.

There was no doubt left that this lesson was nothing but a course in perversity and emotional blunder.

There could not be any accident: Tracy had answered a request for a doble date, that I had seen the day before on the bulletin board in the cafeteria. And Zoey was pulling the strings.

My intuition told me that Dustin would like Sandy to some degree, but only until he would come to know that Zoey had been pulling the strings.

So, was I supposed to tell Dustin about the whole deceit?

Sandy was not aware about the background deal struck by Tracy and Zoey either — or so I smelled.

* * *

**2.8.7 Philharmonic Club**

I was sitting in my lounge when Matthew Palmer Noid bounded, ready to tell me some news. "Matt? You seem excitesd?"

He beamed. "After having heard Quinn play the trombone like a bunch of monkeys playiong with vacuum cleaners, I wondered whether there was a decent philharmonic club at Pacific Coast Academy."

I shook my head. "I doubt it!" There were on and off a few performances of kids trying tp master classic and romanrtic music, but they were not organised in a club.

Matthew Palmer Noid sighed. "I have figured that much, and contacted Sikowitz."

I shrugged. "Well, I am not sure whether he is the one to ask. He is only an auxiliary teacher at Pacific Coast Academy, and he holds no authority."

Matthew knew that already. "I have also asked Jennet Novicky[2:47] a gifted violoncellist and junior here at Pacific Coast Academy. She had studied the instrument following the instructions by Martin Reese."

I shrugged. "Logan's uncle? That Reese?"

Matthew nodded solemnly. "Jenny thinks that the school would open a philharmonic club, with Martin Reese as the adviser, but only with enough interested pupils, both participants and listeners. Your roomie Mel is still in the students' council, right?" In other words, he wanted me to get melanie to organise the collection of signatures and an action making publicity for such a club.

Given the inclinations of most students, this was a problem, as were the costs for such a club.

But there was a sign of hope. After the wonderful school anthem composed and performed by Megan Parker, Leo Bradford was more and more inclined towards sponsoring such a club.

Maybe there was even a chance of handing out scholarships to extremely gifted classic teenage and tween musicians such as Megan Parker.

This was important for Matthew Palmer Noid, as he was often freaking out after being exhausted by his magical efforts, and music was really a way in order to recharge his batteries and calm him down.

I had never figured whether music was able to affect me in a similar manner.

* * *

**2.8.8 Remorses**

All of a sudden, there were news about Lola and Chase having broken up, and for me it was clear that they had given up on their attempt of making Zoey jealous because of remorses.

Chase knew now that it would be unfair to use one of Zoey's best friends for that avail, but he and Lola were apparently working on a different plan, involving a —in my eyes purely imaginary — girl from Chase's hometown that had been more or less his sandbox love for several years.

So Zoey was no longer tortured by her own jealousy of her best friend for a boy. But she was still blind for his feelings.

I decided to give Chase a few more months, until this summer break. Either he had fessed up unto Zoey by then, or I would feel compelled to tell her what was going on. Otherwise the two of them were inevitably sliding from one catastrophe into the other.

* * *

**2.8.9 Wetting Logan**

My thgoughts about Logan's lessionfor Dustin had been comnfirmed completely.

The sheik had tried to persuade Zoey's little brother into treating girls such as Sandy like dirt.

Fortunately, Dustin remebered that he had also been treated in a disgustingly abominable manner by no other than Samantha Puckett, and he knew that he would not want to abuse any gorl in the way he had been abused by the demon.

Logan had insisted in his way, but he got finally pushed by Tracy Baldwin into the fountain in the centre of the campus square.

The heated sophomore girl had talked about a movie _Jerk In The Fountain_ before pushing Logan into the water.

Logan was now still wondering whether there was such a movie.

I would have expected better from the son of the greatest Hollywood producers of the current generation.

Sandy and Dustin appeared to get along pretty well, but both of them thought that they had found a boyfriend or girlfriend, respecively, by their own efforts. In addition, at least Dustin, maybe both, were infinitely proud of their growing independence from their respective elder sister.

But this was of course a mistake, and I feared that their relationship was not going to survive the revelation of the deal struck by Zoey and Tracy behind their backs, something that was only a matter of time.

I could have told them, but, once more, I preferred Tracy and Zoey to admit to their schemes unto their younger siblings, from face to face, before they found out in another manner.

Unfortunately, Logan would learn little from the hard lesson dealt by Zoey and Tracy.

* * *

**2.9 Hot Tuna**

* * *

**2.9.1 Nights At Sushi Rox**

The high school kids used to stay up way too long for their own good.

This was also valid for the gang of Zoey Brooks, their favourite hangout being Sushi Rox, our aforementioned Japanese bar on the campus run by Kazu.

Chase Matthews was still working there as a delivery guy and waiter.

Spring was approaching at the speed of light, and the air was warm still until late at night, This was probably one of the main reasons why the kids loved staying up a lot longer than they used to do a few weeks ago.

Unfortunately, it also meant that they were getting tired and careless.

I sensed that this was a really dangerous combination.

* * *

**2.9.2 Dustin Drops Sandy**

Dustin had found out pretty fast what had been going on.

He and Sandy were both consternated, and so they decided to separate again, as they hated seeing their relationship as the prolonged arm of their elder siblings that attempted to control them.

This was very sad, as they would not have been a bad couple.

I the case of Chase and Zoey, I had got more and more doubts that they would be all that great, even if Chase admitted to his feelinmgs to Zoey from face to face, and if Zoey stopped hiding her jealousy.

The number of faux pas of Chase had been increasing rapidly during the last two years.

Still, I was convinced that telling them about what I had been figuring by telepathic means was not a good thing.

But it was really annopying how everyone on the campus but Zoey was awareof Chase's insane crush on that Mary Sue.

Logan kept on making fun of it, and Michael probably tried to urge Chase to come out as soon as possible.

So, what did Dustin know about the whole thing? He should have told his sister about the whole emotional mess that a certain bushy dork was going through, shouldn't he? But he feared that Zoey would take it all out on him if she got disappoined by Chase. In addition, after having been treated by Zoey as her toy pet and matched with Sandy, he was no longer at exclusively good terms with his sister, but slightly angry because shehad kept on messinbg with his life behind his back.

Chase and Zoey would probably keep on playing with fire, until they would get themselves burned, not today, not in a few years, but when they would expect it least.

* * *

**2.9.3 Sushi Rox On Fire**

And then there was this evening where it became actually true.

I had not been at ease when falling asleep at the usual time, and then I awoke with fire alert bells in my ears.

Melanie was up totally fast. "Sushi Rox is ablaze," she yelled upon gazing across the campus from our window,

Coco Wexler and Chief Becker[2:48] from the Malibu fire brigades commanded us kids to returmn to our beds. There was no real danger for the dormitory rooms.

Melanie sighed. "If I did not know it any better, I would say that Spencer Shay is behind it."

I wondered, "who or what is Spencer Shay?"

Melanie panted heavily. "That is the elder brother of Carly Shay, Samantha's best friend in Seattle."

I had heard about Carly, but never about her family.

Spencer — or so reported Melanie — was a law school drop out that got assigned as his little sister's keeper, or was soon going to be in charge, because of the long term absence of their father, an air force commander of some sorts. He was usually a freelance sculptor, and he had git the naughty habit of setting things involumtarily on fire.

"I sense that Chase is not much better, just that fire is not his usual element. But with him working for Kazu, it makes sense seeing his careless demeanour as the source of the fire." I sighed bitterly.

Then again, Nicole was easily distracted, although this had been waning recently, as Sikowitz's method acting seemed to help her a lot.

Ok, if looking a bit firther down the road, I would have been able to see each and every pupil and staff member at Pacific Coast Academy as a potential pyromaniac, including myself. I had been able to bend spoons, and some materials start burning when being bent, or so had Quinn explained.

Would I have been able to extinguish the fire with my mind? Certainly, this would not have been quite unimaginable, but only if I hade been aware of the fledgling flames in time.

Melanie had to calm me down because I got really worried for not having been able to stop the fire.

* * *

**2.9.4 Ruins And Ashes**

Sushi Rox was gone. The building was still standing, but the kitchen was all but incinerated.

Coach Keller, the responsible trainer of our basketball and football teams, was assigning the culpa exclusively to Chase Matthews and Michael Barret, and he was out for revenge.

This, of course, meant nothing good.

With or without any adult's accusations, the kids felt guilty and wanted to do something in order to get Sushi Rox rebuilt.

But this was not easy, because Sushi Rox had not been covered by any fire insurance, and Kazu was flat broken and unable to continued the Japanese bar on his own. He was about to leave California and to return to his home in Alabama.

After discussing the situation with Melanie, we were turning more and more convinced that there should be one, and it would not be hard for Melanie to convince Garth Berman.

On the downside, this was not cheap, Fire insurances for a placethat had already obnce been burned down were not easy to get.

* * *

**2.9.5 Girls' Choice**

While wondering about the future of Sushi Rox, Debra Pierson had intruded once more in order to announce this year's middke school ball at Pacific Coast Academy. Last year's had been a bit awkward, and most of us kids had seen the computer test as the culprit of all the shortcomings of said event.

Melanie had thus collected the signatures against this procedure, and now she was able to show Debra the long list.

This was overwhelming, and thus she agreed on changing the rules.

* * *

OK, there won't be any computer tests.

However, there is still the problem of the imbalance, like, one girl for three boys.

It is thus still necessary to look at other schools for girls.

So maybe a primary girls' is possible?

Left out boys will still be able to invite girls from Palmwood, Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, James K. Polk, Northridge, Brewster, and so on.

* * *

OK, that sounded reasonable.

But whom to choose? It was tempting for me to aim for punishing some guys who, like disappeared Miles Brody, refused to believe in telepathy and telekinesis.

According to Melanie, this best described a certain Fredward Benson, a student at Ridgewy that had started hitting in a perverse and abominable manner on aforementioned Carly Shay, as if the girl had not already suffered enough from a careless elder brother and a totally evil best friend forever.

Of course I had to keep my devastating judgment of Samantha to myself, as Melanie refused to give up on her sister.

Too bad there were still too many stubborn Fredward Benson like guys at Pacific Coast Academy, and they all needed a due lesson.

But doing all this withiong a shrt time was not possible.

The better choice was thus asking someone who was already convinced of my abilities, such as Matthew Palmer Noid, from whom I had nothing to hide.

* * *

** A Sponsor For Sushi Rox**

Unfortunately, the mandatory fire insurance, imposed upon us by Garth Berman and Leo Bradford, had increased the money needed for getting Kazu and Sushi Rox restarted. In addition, there needed to be the guarantee that the litchen was run by someone with certified training in kitchen security, something Kazu was not able to proivide, as he had never participated in an official certification program for professional cooking.

In addition — as we all remembered — fund raising actions at Pacific Coast Academywere an awry business. This was, by the way, no better at nearby schools such as James K. Polk, where Simon Nelson Cook and Wdmond Bigby had caused a lot of insane turmoil.

The kids wanted to go for a people auction, but I warned Zoey that this would make them vulnerable to abuse. "What if Logan wants to make out with you in turn for getting his dad to sponsor the reopening of the Japanese pub?"

The blond Mary Sue shuddered for most excessive disgust.

The only possibility seemed to be finding a restaurant chain with a professional kitchen staff willing to take over Sushi Rox and Kazu.

Of course this was opening other cans of worms as well.

* * *

**2.9.6 Nozu**

A few days had gone by, and we had been waiting for a way to save Sushi Rox.

The only one really interested in taking over Sushi Rocques was a certain Mrs. Lee[2:49] from Hollywood, owner of Wok Star, the most popular Chinese restaurant of the complete greater Los Angeles area.

Kazu was in Alabama, but we knew his address over there. Zoey was ready to contact him and tell him the news, for he needed to sign certain contracts.

Mrs. Lee had got certain conditions, though. First, her daughter Daisy needed a scholarship for Pacific Coast Academy. Second, the restaurant was to be renamed to Nozu. Then there were many other rules.

We contacted Claire Sawyer, aforementioned aspiring future lawyer from Santa Clarita, to take care of the contracts. She was an export in this business.

Kazu was pleased at first glance, but he feared the Chinese takeover.

According to Chase, Chinese and Japanese did not get along very well.

We hoped this to be different in our case.

At least the Japanese charavter of the bar would be maintained, even with the new name, Nozu.

But Mrs. Lee was utterly uncanny, and she was very truthless in making money with her restaurants,

At Wok Star, she was maintaining a wall with posters of famous people who had dined over there. Mrs. Lee was sure that Lola Martinez' and Ashley Blake's picture would adorn that wall soon as well.

This was enough for Lola to be all in favour of the plans of Mrs. Lee, regardless of all the side effects that I saw coming. She even overpowered Zoey who had been more careful.

Kazu was forced to resign from his title as a chef, and he was degraded to a simple albeit well-paid pub employee and auxiliary cook.

The codex of Mrs. Lee only allowed family members in the leading positions of her enterprise, according to old Chinese traditions.

Was there a way to restore Kazu in his old dignity?

In any case, Sushi Rox alias Nozu was now scheduled for reopening officially after the impending spring break.

* * *

**2.10 Spring In The City**

* * *

**2.10.1 Start Of Spring Break**

Many kids were about to leave the campus during the upcoming break.

Malcolm Reese had invited Logan and his friends to a few days on his summer estate in Santa Barbara County.

These friends included Zoey Brooks, Lola Martinez, Nicole Bristow, Quinn Pensky, Chase Matthews, Michaelk Barret, and finally also Dustin Brooks.

The latter had been included upon Zoey's pressure, in a desperate attempt to make up for having upset him by arringing his relationship with Alexandra Baldwin. This already suggests that there had been other canditates as well.

The rules established by Malcolm Reese had prescribed a group of four girls and four boys, none more and none less.

So, why had the overlord of Hollywood insisted in such a composition?

For me, it was not excessively hard to guess that Malcolm was up to using the kids for one of his upcoming production. Apparently, this was a long tradition of teh Reese family, as already seen during the Halloween party when Logan was caught with hidden cams in order to film the existential fears of elementary school kids.

Anyways, I was not able to figure what exact kind of surprise Malcolm ws up to.

As said, Dustin had been selected as the fourth boy.

Nicole would have wanted her boyfriend Nicholas Webber in the boat.

But this plan had failed miserably, because the other girls had not got an official boyfriend, and they did not want Nicole to be in a privilleged position.

Lola would have wanted an older and better kissing boy, but this did not find the approval of her friends, either.

Thus Dustin had turned out as the least common denominator.

Melanie, on the other hand, would spend spring break in Seattle in order to see her thoroughly operverse mother and her violent twin sister again.

I was going to stay behind at Pacific Coast Academy over the break, which was not as bad as some may have thought. At least there were bus trips to the nearby cities, including downtown Los Angeles, and other interesting sites in this county scheduled for each other day.

Zoey's gang was now ready for the trip to Santa Barbara county.

Malcolm Reese had sent them a huge limousine. For Logan's taste, there should have been a bigger one. But the others were thoroughly impressed by the comfortable vehicle.

* * *

**2.10.2 Los Angeles National Airport**

* * *

** Bus Trip**

While many of us had alredy been travelled via a aeroplane, none of us had ever been able to see and understand what was going on behiod the scenes in the air travel business.

For that reason, Mr. Bender had arranged a visit to Los Angeles Airport for us kids that were staying behind during the spring vacations.

We were now aboat to board our bus.

I sat next to Matthew Palmer Noid. "You are not going to strip the airport guys via telekinesis, are you?"

Matthew whispered innocently.

Bender checked the list of the kids registered for the trip. "OK, that's all of us. Of course we don't want to lose anyone in the huge airport hallways. Thus there are a few rules …"

We kids yawned. The whole life on the campous was full of rules, and thus we were not really happy about getting subjected to more of them during the vacations.

Then Bender explained the schedule.

The expectations differed from kid to kid, and for that reason, some kids were cheering in a really enthusiastical manner for certain stations in our schedule, while others were less happy about these.

Most of us were curious about the airport cafeteria.

But Bender made it clear that we were of course not supposed to drink beer, wine, or brandy.

The trip throough the busy suburbs of Los Angeles had always been exciting for me, regardless of the means of transport.

The bus stopped, and we were now supposed to exit, one by one.

Of course this was not easy because of the mayhem caused by many impatient kids.

* * *

** Captain Stubing**

Mr. Bender introduced us to one important member of Pacific Airways, one of the leading airline corporations in Los Angeles. "This is Captain Steubing,[2:50] the most experienced pilot of Pacific Airways. He will introduce you to his and his subalterns' typical day at work here at the airport."

Steubing nodded solemnly. "We will also enter a plane … one that is not rigged and ready for a flight, though. You will get to know more about the typical tasks of a staff during a flight."

This was certainly very interesting for som of us students.

We needed top stay close behind Steubing, while Bender closed our queue.

* * *

** Flighing High**

We were also visiting the air docks where aeroplanes were maintained and repaired.

Duke Blatzberg wondered, "why do planes fly? They are so heavy metal, they should drop like a lump of brass."

An engineer working at the air docks was trying to andswer the question. He took a little model plane. "The shape of the wings is very important. This way, the air that rushes by the upper side of the wind is much faster than the air rushing by the lower side. According to something known as bernouilli's law, this results in a higher pressure from below, and thus the plane gets lifted."

Suddenly, the plane started really floating atop, leaving the consternated engineers hands.

The technician stammered, "hey, what is going on?"

I whistled merrily.

Matthew Palmer Noid helped and made the doel plain fly in cirlcles and loopings.

The engineer yelled for lack of understanding.

The kids laughed frenetically.

The situation turned eeven more funny when Matthew and I started to let thibngd float that had not gotanythibg remotely similar to wings.

I was tempted to try to lift one of the docked plains with my telekinetic abilities.

But not even with Matthew's support was this possible without risking a major crash.

We were only able to control those heavy objects for a very short time, and then it would drop uncontrollably.

This was definitely not something we wanted to risk just for fun.

Finally, this part of the presentation of the airport was over, and it was time for lunch in the cafeteria.

* * *

** Terrence Bo**

We had finally reached the cafeteria which was even bigger than that of Pacific Coast Academy.

Captain Steubing left us in the hands of the responsible chef, a certain Terrence Bo.

It was a mid twenty afro-american creep wearing an excessively ugly bandana wrapped around his head. He tried to talk us into eating a pickled cucumber. He had stuck a bunch of them onto a blunt stick.

But none of uds kids were willing to take the bite, whih made Terrence slightly upset.

Steubing explained that Terrence Bo was for worse or better — definitely for better in his eyes — only an intern, and he would soon thereafter leave Los Angeles again in order to join his band or team or something somewhere else.

Terrence Bo was also selling other things, such as donuts, bagels, tacos, corn dogs, and quiches.

His talk was readlly annoying, and I just ignored his suggestion and fixed some herbal tea.

* * *

** Wrong Flight**

Crossing the attendence hall, I stumbled into Megan parker. "Hi Megs!"

Megan wondered, "are you leaving Los Angeles or arriving here?"

I shook my head. "I am in some guided tour around the airport. It is a lot of fun, but not everything, though. What arre you doing here?"

Megan remarked, "I wanted to tale a plane ride from San Diego to Denver in order to meet my friend from Colorado, Jessica.[2:51] But Drake took me to the wrong plane, and that has taken me hereto. Now the airport of Denver is closed, and I can't take a flight there."

I remarked, "oh, that storm over Colorado … all flights to Denver have been cacelled today. So you would have ended up elsewhere, At Least LA is a lot of fun."

Megan nodded. "Cool! I have thought about booking a room at Chambrolay, a hotel in Santa Monica awarded with six stars." She fumbled with her credit card.

I nodded. "OK, it looks like you may afford it. But I suggest you to come with us. It is spring break, and many girls are off the campus, so you may certainly find a room to stay in."

Megan shrugged. "OK, sounds cool!"

I asked Mr. Bender whether that was in order.

The teacher nodded solemnly. "But we need to tell your parents about it."

Megan reported, "Aydrey and Walter are on a vacation trip. My brothers have been responsible, and they have messed it up badly … boobs …" She shook her head.

Bender nodded. "OK, then we have to contact them. They are already worrying about you — or so I suppose."

Steubing showed us to the place from where the huge display of arribing and departing planes was controlled.

Megan sighed when she saw all those notes about Colorado's airports being closed down.

Then we noticed the next plane from San Diego land. There were very frequent flights between here and there.

Then megan followed us across the hall, and we spotted Drake Parker and Joshuah Nichols from afar.

Those boobs had taken the aforementioned flight from San Diego.

Megan sighed. "Do I ghave to face them?"

Bender nodded solemnly. "We can't keep you here without telling anyone."

Drake was as stupid as ever before, and Josh talked like the dweeb he was.

Josh wondered, "OK, so there are still a few free spots for boys in your dormitory halls?"

Bender nodded. "Sure, there's not much of a traffic going on."

Megan sighed deeply. "A whole weekend with the boobs … that stinks."

Josh boasted with his new _G.O._, which was _a device for playing many music files._

Wayne cackled, and he started talking about the technological details of the G.O.

Josh proudly showed him the device.

Wayne cackled even more. "This is not a G.O." He explained his fast judgment.

Josh looked totally consternated. "What? I used it during the flight from San Diego to Los Angeles, and it definitely worked like a G.O."

Fire Wire took a closer look. "Uhm, this palm top is a secret device only used by the federal bank. It displays the details of all bank notes, thos that make the difference between real notes and fakes. The bank needs it for printing the dollar bills."

Mr. Bender gasped. "You can get into trouble deep for the possession of such a thing. Mr. Nichols, how did you get at the device?"

Josh twitched, but finally, he remembered that he had got some troubles during the flight. "A chubby matron had made me drop my belongiongs …"

There was no way avoiding a trip to the police headquarters of Los Angeles.

I sensed that a grim looking guy was watching us and trying to snoop our conversation. Iwhispered into Josh's ear, "would you remember your fellow passengers?"

Josh nodded solemnly. "Sure!"

I told him to look at the huge glass doors of the hall which mirrored somewhat the people standing behind us.

Josh took a look, and he agreed that the man that appearwed suspicious in my eyes had been his neighbour during the flight. "He also had got a G.O. similar to mine."

I concluded that the weird man was most likely a criminal who had stolem the device from the national bank. "You must have mixed up your devices, and that means a lot of troubles."

Now it was time to leave the hall and go with the bus straight to the police station.

* * *

** Milo Creary**

Officer Vega, the boss of Los Angeles Police, was interrogating Josh. The cop finally believed the story. "OK, the criminals have most likely been following you."

Josh sighed for relief.

"The criminals probably belong to the gang of Milo Creary, the most infamous money fakers in the history of California. We figured that they are somewhat connected with the family of Samantha Puckett." Vega ordered some man to protect us on our way to Pacific Coast Academy.

So, there was the reason why the police had been snooping our campus over Halloween.

Armed cops accompanied us thereafter.

* * *

**2.10.3 Gender Defenders**

Due to Josh's Vega and his henchmen had been able to catch several of the gangsters of Milo Creary.

Finally, Zoey and the rest of her gang was back from their trip to Santa Barbara, and my hunch had not been quite wrong.

Malcolm Reese had indeed used them for a show, filming them with hidden cams. But it was not an acting show.

Rather, the new product was a game show named _Gender Defenders_ featuring a duel between a boys' team and a girls' team, four kids on each side.

Originally, Malcolm had made the kids believe that only the winner was going to be in the pilot, would be made in Hollywood a few weeks days later. But really, this practice was already the pilot. So both girls and boys were now to be shown on TV.

The contest was composed of three parts: The first segment was some sort of a treasure hunt around the estate, the middle part was about dressing up some uncomely dweebs for a date, and the final showdown, which happened to be a true tie breaker, was a fancyful fencing match. Chase and Zoey were stending each on an island in a pool and tried to sweep ech other into the water, using some sticks with cushioned ends, in order to avoid hurting each other.

Strangely, Chase had almost won, but when Zoey had already lost her fencing stick, Chase was unable to finish her off, but he finally slipped and fell into the pool for no obvious reason, certainly not because of the blond Mary Sue's efforts.

OK, I remembered that Chase had had qualms fighting against Zoey for class presidency. It made sense that he had not been willing to make her lose. But there was certainly more to it, such as remorses.

Chase had committed a huge amount of excessive perversities during the last two years in order to stay close to Zoey without beig forced to fess up to his deeper feelings, and the remorses were still accumulating. There was little doubt that the situation on the Reese estate in Santa barabara County had been a fertile ground for prolongating the infamous list.

I sensed strongly that Michael had advised Chase once again to do the right thing and tell Zoey the straight way, but his words had apparently fallen like rain drops.

Chase was still of the opinion that Zoey was likely to cancelling their friendship completely, shhould he admit to expecting more from it than she had hitherto granted.

Well, honestly, the longer Chase was hiding behind a fake screen, the more likely it was that Zoey would not be willing to accept his proposals, and for good reasons.

It was also clear that the telecommunication devices they had been granted in order to perform the treasure hand were related to Chase's misery. This mobile phone was a so-called tekmate,[2:52] really flexible.

Chase should have been ashamed for using sending an electronic message in order to tell Zoey about his feelings, given that they were walking and sitting close to each other every day.

After asking Michael, I obtained the information about Chase's dilemma.

Chase had wanted to sent a message to Michael, in which he was talking about his feelings for Zoey. But the busht dweebs had fumbled with the wrong bottons, sending the lines unto Zoey instead. Of course it would have been a catastrophe if she had read that, so Chase had taken Zoey's tekmate in order to remove the message.

Of course the girls had been rightfully upset when noticing the thief of the mobile device.

This must have bee the immediate reason for Chase's depressions that had caused him to lose the death match on purpose.

Of course Chase had been struggling to regain the confidence of the girl that had seemed to mean the world for him for one year and a half at least.

I found Dustin asleep on the campus, and I carried him out of the way. This time, I used the old fashioned way in order to avoid getting the attraction of curious bypassers by levitating Zoey's little brother.

Dustin had swallowed one of Quinn's recent inventions, a powerdrink of some sort, and this had caused him to be totally hyperactive for several days, until … maybe just a few minutes ago, when he broke down for being exhausted. Now he was unable to see what was going on with his sister … for better or worse.

Suddenly, a little earthquake skook the campus. This was probably not the begin of the dystopia, but, nevertheless, it had caused a few little damages.

* * *

**2.11 Otis**

* * *

**2.11.1 The Destroyed Tekmate**

The earthquake had destroyed Zoey's tekmate, and thus any messages left on it. Maybe Those had included one by Chase Matthews, well, I was sure that there had been one on it, for the bushy dork was still worried about te question whether the device was really dead.

It was not hard for me to understand that Chase had tried to tell Zoey about his feelings by means of a text message, and you know already what I had thought about it.

But what would Chase's reactions be as soon as he figured that the message was lost?

Ot was Zoey going to try to get the lost messages restored by some technological genius such as Quinn Pensky or Wayne Gilbert? Honestly, she was not at good terms with either of them.

* * *

**2.11.2 The Office Assistant**

Most schools' headmasters were known to be lazy and just ready to command the students and the staff all over the place.

The worst example I had heard about was a certain Principal Brandywine from Rocky Roads, the school of aforementioned Adelaide Singer, one of the best friends of Megan Parker. She was by no means handiocapped, but she needed abn electric wheelchair in order to move through the halls of her school.

Theodore Franklin from my old School at Ridgeway was not as lazy, but he still appreciated the comfort of microwaves over real stoves.[2:53]

Vice principl Cruubs from James K. Polk was one pain in his ass, but way not as lazy as our Dean Rivers.

Thus Quinn and her geeky fellows had invented some sort of an office machine, performing a variety of different important tasks like cooking coffeee, scaring away intruders, or opening and closing the office door.

Today, Mindy had presented the interesting machine.

The most interesting feature was the fact that it was commanded by the voice of Dean Rivers, using commands as plain and simple as _coffee_ and _door_.

The mechanics and electronics were otherwise largely similar to the biomechatronics already deployed in the warrior robots, and now improved and upgraded for the billiard robot.

Dean Rivers was very interested, and he was willing to pay the required price for the machine.

I wondered whether it waould be any good to have a machine instead of listening to the voice, thence doing what you want and not just what you tell it.

Dean Rivers would soon enough experience that this was a big difference.

But I was not sure that letting the machine do what you want, regardless of the technical difficulty of its implementation, would have been a concept with problems on its own. Some people had sometimes got somewhat diffuse and self contradicting wishes. And what exactly constituted a wish?

This was not supposed to be my problem, though.

* * *

**2.11.3 Forbidden Letter**

The red hot Californian spring sun was already burning up the hills.

I circumambulated the campus square, noticing Michael and Chase talking nonsense. I shook my head. What was going on? I asked them, but there answers were equally stupid.

The reason had been probably a bet. They were forced to talk with certain restrictions, and the one to break those rules first was forced to cross the campus in some most embarrassing outfit.

I shook my head. "You boys are such a shame for mankind." Then I walked on.

It turned out that they were avoiding the letter "s", which was of course not really easy.

I hoped that Chase was not trying to talk to Zoey about his feelings for her while this absurd bet was still up and running.

* * *

**2.11.4 Peruvian Alpaca**

As aforementioned, pets were strictly illegal at Pacific Coast Academy.

Quinn Pensky, however, was ab;e to hide a few beasts, but only small ones such as the skunk.

Oh … by the way, Quinn and Cookie had successfully produced a cross between the skunk and a weasel roaming the hallways of James K. Polk. They had not yet decided on a name for the new cool species, but Quinn seemed to favour "Skeasel" over "Wunk".

Quinn's bigger pets had to stay at home in the outskirts of Seattle.

One of them was a Peruvian alpaca, which was something similar to a llama.

According to Mindy Crenshaw, thos beasts were the only mammals resistent to the poison contained in Peruvian puff peppers.[2:54]

The latter was a spice of the same kind as bell peppers, chilies, and jalapeno, and even more tasty in many combinations, but with terrible side effects, such as kidney failure and chapped lips.

Quinn Pensky was trying to find the responsible genes that allow Peruvian alpacas to neutralise the bad effects of those peppers, and to manipulate human desoxyribonucleic acid in a way making it resistent, either.

The name of Quinn's alpaca was "Otis". I had on and off tried to make some sense of this name, but failed miserably.

Unfortunately, Otis had neot taken the separation from Quinn for most of the time very well, and it was going depressive — at least according to the bulletin issued by Doctor Lange, the veterinary surgeon atking care of Otis.

For Quinn Pensky, this was a huge shock, and it was impossible for her to ignore it and keep on living here as if nothing had been going on in Seattle.

* * *

**2.11.5 Tipper Rivers**

Tipper,[2:55] the decadent wife of Dean Rivers, was running away screaming. She was perversely opposed to his husband's addiction to video game, deeming them unsuited for adult men.

I swore that she would rue her abominable attitude until the days of the latter judgment.

Fortunately, the command "dogs", which released the sound of a bunch of barking watchdogs, had scared her away, but only for now. Sooner or later, the Dean would have to come home and then get his butt polished thoroughly by his evil wife, with sandpaper and hot wax.

Unfortunately, the same disastrous sound was triggered involuntarily when Rivers told his secretary to get him some corn dogs from the cafeteria. This had scared away some potential futire sponsor who wanted to visit the administration office for further negotiations.

* * *

**2.11.6 Faye Dunnaway**

* * *

** Megan's Zebra**

So, Otis needed Quinn, and vice versa.

The geek girl was almost ready to give up on Pacific Coast Academy completely, just in order to be with Otis, who was too big to be hidden onn our campus.

But I remembered that Megan Parker had once had a zebra.[2:56]

The striped horse had been hidden in some backyard garage, but it did not stay there forever.

Megan had talked Drake and Josh into caring for the beast by making them believe that zebra stripes at pedestrian crossings grew on real zebras, and that they could make a lot of moneyselling the stripes to the municipal traffic office.

But this sceme had not worked out for too long.

Now I called Megan via tek mate.

Zoey had left me hers, because it was only triggering bad memories of the spring break. She had lost all confidence in Chase, and there was no way for her to regain it if permanently reminded of the painful emotions she had gone through in Santa Barbara County.

Mindy Crenshaw and Wayne Gilbert had been able to repair the device.

Anyways, I was lucky reaching Megan somewhere between soccer training and oboe practice.

The girl from San Diego was glad to tell me that her zebra had found a new home at the ranch of Faye Dunnaway,[2:57] not far from Malibu.

Needless to say, this sounded perfectly like a place to accomodate Otis in a way that made it possible for Quinn to see Otis more often without having to give up on Pacific Coast Academy.

* * *

** Chase's Old Dream**

Quinn was very happy about that solution, and she had contacted Faye Dunnaway on site in order to establish a contract about stationing Otis over there.

And now it was time to introduce the beast to its new home in Malibu.

In addition, Chase Matthews would be able to visit the zebra. He had been wishing for his own striped horse since his early youth,[2:58] for whatever reason, and now his dream was about to come true. He yelled, "Yes, a dream has come true!" With these words, Chase had broken the rules of his insane bet with Logan and Michael.

This would have been a nightmare for Michael who had been allergic to horses, as he had been once kicked straight into his face by one.[2:59]

Next to Otis' stable, there was also one with a talking pony singing permanently about its addiction to pancakes.[2:60]

Wayne Gilbert remarked that his cousin Lulu from New York City had often dreamt of such a pony. "I have to tell her!"

* * *

**2.11.7 The Losers**

By the way, Logan Reese and Michael Barret had stopped boycotting the evil letter immediately upon hearing about Chase's violation.

But, as pointed out by Megan Parker, an expert for tricky bets,[2:61] this meant that all of them had lost the bet and were now forced to go through the process of escessive humiliation by means of crossdressing and wearing a fanal on their heads.

And now the three creeps were roaming the campus in their penalty outfits, getting almost all girld to laugh about them in the most aggressive manner.

* * *

**2.11.8 Broken Device**

Dean Rivers had carelessly poured some coffee, which had been cooked by the built-in coffee machine, all over the contreoller of his automated office slave.

And the latter had thereupon started to behave weird, ignoring commands and misfiring all over the place.

As a result, Beverly had been knocked out by a door opening in the wrong moment. Now the dean's secretary was disabled for the rest of the academic year, and she needed to be replaced.

So Dean Rivers was left with a flood of problems: His more and more violent wife, his broken office robot, and the lack of a secretary or need of looking for a new one.

Quinn, Mindy, Wayne, Neil, and Andrew were ready to repair the dysfunctional office slave.

A new secretary was also found pretty fast. Keerah,[2:62] the secretary of Malcolm Reese, would take over for the next week. Malcolm was up to moving to Japan in order to prepare the production of a new historical movie.[2:63] There he would get his own geisha, er, secretary, and Keerah would not have anything to do for those weeks.

The biggest problem was still psychopathic Tipper Rivers. Unfortunately, her family owned the dean's house, his sports car, his video game console, and many other useful things.

The headmaster would most likely lose them all when going through a divorce from Tipper.

But maybe some decent shark like Claire Sawyer was able to fish him out of those troubled waters?

* * *

**2.12 Rooftops**

* * *

**2.12.1 Chicken Pox**

On a campus like ours where many kids were living closely together, it was inevitable that typical kids' diseases spread like wildfire.

There were rules suspending kids from the campus in certian cases, but those did not apply to chicken pox.

The sick just had to be insulated from the healthy kids as much as possible.

One of the first victims was now Dustin Brooks, and this was certainly not someone to paint stains on his skin in order to feign a disease and get a pass for skipping classes, unlike some Ashley Blake who had got him infected. Zoey's little brother had called me into his room because he thought me able to cure him once more. just like over a year ago when he was struck by a bad cold, and Quinn had failed to cure him with a vacuum cleaner and leaser beams, or whatever that flashy stuff had been.

I panted heavily, as I was still a bit scared by my former successful intervention. But once more, I gave in and layed my hands over the sick tween boy. "Vade retro me, Satana!"

Dustin felt immediately better, and the ugly spots on his skin disappeared.

* * *

**2.12.2 Sunny Place**

The top of the roof of Maxwell Hall, the residence of most of the high school boys, was about teh most sunny place on the whole campus. It was a flat top, and thus there was enough place for a dozen of kids relaxing in the warming spring sun. Even girls loved to use this place.

Unfortunately, the boys, instigated by Logan Reese, were absolutely unhappy about having girls on their last sacred retreat, or that was what the guys tried to make it sound like.

Chase had been totally brainwashed by Logan Reese.

The top of Brenner Hall, on the other hand, was adjacent to some huge tree. This caused several problems of diverse nature.

First, the position of the tree relative to Brenner Hall implied that its shadow covered most of the rooftop during the afternoon hours, especialy i spring. Quinn conpared it to some sort of a sun clock.

Nicole had always wondered whether it was possible to use the streetlamp instead of the sun by night and still read the time.

The second problem was the fact that the tree was inhabited by giant squirrels. Dustin had used to be deadly afraid of them until Megan had taught him not to fear those beasts with a tail bushier than Chase's hollow head.

Those squirrels not only caused lots of noise, and it woas not being bit by them was not exactly a pleasuree, either. Well, at least they were not around all day, and at certain hours, their noise and the danger of getting bit was about zilch. But the stink of their excrements was there all day and all knight, and, depending on the direction of the wind, it was a real pest. Unfortunately, the meteorological situation allowed for regular winds coming in strong from the Pacific ocean to the southwest during the afternoon.

Zoey had tried to negotiate with the boys, but Chase, Logan, and Michael were nowhere near willing to give in.

According to Logan, the guys needed a place to be themselves, which was impossible in the presence of girls.

Of course this was blatant nonsense, but it was Logan, and he was the one to pay and thus to tell the other boys what to think. That was totally sick.

* * *

**2.12.3 Love Sick Puppy**

Dustin Brooks walked straight into our lounge. he tried to say something, but he was unable to avoid stammering. He sat down next to me.

I wondered, "are you OK, Dustin? Even though the pox are gone, you should get a bit more rest."

Dustin purred comfortably, although he shivered all over the place.

This did not make much sense to me, not at first glance. But giving it slightly more thought, I was consternated. Dustin seemed to have some fluffy feelings for me.

And now he blushed when looking into my direction like a love sick puppy. "I like you!" He wrapped his arms around me.

I coughed, because I needed to find a way to avoid hurting his feelings. He did ot deserve getting made fun of for this. But he did not deserve a dishonest answer, either.

Yes, I had cured him twice from disease, I had punished his bullies badly, and I had made him win many bets and thus earn some bucks. But that was not because I had tried to hit on him or something like that, and definitely not much of a reason for him to behave in such a manner. Alas, I should have seen that coming, and this had nothing to do with a sixth sense, but common knowledge. "Dustin, sorry, but …"

He seemed to sense what was going on. A few seconds later, Dustin went pale. "You are already into Palmer Noid!"

I suspired. I had gone with Matthew Palmer Noid to the middle school dance. But Dustin saw too much in it — or so I believed. As explained above, it had been the less exhausting choice for both of us, for we did not have much to hide from each other. "Dustin, it is true that I have been hanging out witk Matthew Palmer Noid sometime, but that iss not the reason why …

Dustin ran away, weeping like a baby.

I banged my head against the next table. And now I had to fear that Zoey would hold it against me to have lured her brother close to me, just to break his heart on purpose. It was better to tell Zoey about the situation before she saw her brother drown in a deluge of his own tears.

* * *

**2.12.4 Plans Against The Boys**

The girls were discussing wildly the possibilities of actions against the boys' stubborn rule to exclude girls from their roof tops.

One idea was to lock out boys from their cafeteria, in turn.

But for Nicole Bristow, this was not an option, as she would thus not be allowed to see her Nicholas over there.

Lola Martinez had got the idea to crossdress as a boy. "That will be a perfect rôle for a perfect address! And we have got everything in our costume storage."

That was weird, indeed. Two years ago, boys had been forced to crossdress as girls for theatre plays requiring female rôles. Now girls would have been suggested to crossdress as girls.

But what was Lola supposed to do, once crossdressed as a guy?

Zoey's idea had been that of coming to live in the boys' dormitory rooms and fool the guys. "Then they will see that there is no difference whether they are all on their own or with girls."

I remembered the last time when Megan, Drake, and Josh had been guests for one night. There had been a lot of paperworks in order to grant them a guest place, and signatures of Dean Rivers. And that had been during teh vacations when the school was happy about earning a few bucks more with the kids' dormitory rooms that were temporarily unoccupied.

But due to the chicken pox epidemia, guests were probably not even allowed, according to the rules.

Quinn explained that she could eassily fake the signature of Dean Rivers with her colour printer.

I gasped, for this reminded me fatally of Milo Creary's main offense, cunterfeiting dollar bills.

Why did I sense that there was an even closer connection between Quinn and Milo? And why did I sense that Samantha Puckett's ability of counterfeiting bank notes[2:64] was also related to Quinn Pensky's remark about colour printers?

Claire Sawyer, aforementioned afro-american fighter for justice and order, had stumbled in, although she was not a student at Pacific Coast Academy, at least not yet. Her presence on pur campus was strictly related to the possibilities of surviving a divorce of our dean from demon Tipper. She was constenated. "What? Is this a criminal gang or what? You know what the fake of administrational documents gets you?"

Nicole looked aghast when she heard about possible penalties. "My uncle has been in prison, too, that is not cute, ouch!"

Tracy Baldwin wondered, "why not simply off with his head, er with the tree?" She was moving her flat right hand in a way insinuating a decapitation.

Quinn had thought of it. "But the tree is protected by municipal environmental laws."

Tracy shook her head. "Damn' tree hugger freaks!"

Mindy remarked, "but we have already thought about chasing the giant squirrels away, with some sten h they hate."

Quinn sighed. "Unfortunately. all that I and Mindy had come up with something that smells even worse than the excrements of thos naughty rodents."

Mindy grinned. "Oh, while we are talking about those squirrels … Quinn and I have recently achieved in creating a new race of rodents by genetic manipulation of squirrels with extracts from the desoxyribonucleic acid of beavers. The result is a squeaver, or, if you want, a birrel."

Zoey wondered, "but of what use are those beasts for us?"

Quinn replied, "none, but they are very interesting." She talked about the anatomic details of the genetic modifications.

Zoey and Lola glared at Quinn with excruciating disgust.

Tracy wonderd, "anyways, chassing the squirrels off the tree will only solve the prob;em with the stink, but the oak stioll leaves us in the shadows … at the most interesting day times."

Mindy nodded. "I am working on a way to fix this by means of mirrors." She was talking about the redirection of the sunlight, making the roof a sunnier place.

The usage of chemical weapons against the squirrels still sounded exaggerated in my ears, and so I thought about squirrel whisperers.

Megan Parker had showed us the way to get along with Elvis, so maybe the squirrels would have been beguiled by the sound of the oboe as well.

The high school girls were still keeping on the discussions.

* * *

**2.12.5 The Philharmonic Club**

I talked again to Megan, using my tekmate, and she liked the idea of squirrel whispering in order to get rid of the beasts.

And there was even greater news: The board of Pacific Coast Academy had granted the means for a philharmonic club at Pacific Coast Academy, conducted by Martin Reese, the uncle of Logan, and Megan was granted a scholarship because of this club.

A few other kids from across the country were invited as well.

* * *

**2.12.6 Fixing Dustin**

Unfortunately, Zoey Brooks was too busy with all the fuss concerning the roof tops to care about Dustin.

I had told her about his heartbreak, and she had not really noticed anything. Thus it was once more up to me. Bit of course it was not easy to talk any sense in a boy whose heart I had just broken.

Jack Ross had guided me to Distin's hideout. "Dustin will not like me to have betrayed his den, but you have heped me several times with popup tests, sp …"

I shrugged and walked up to weeping Dustin. "Hello, sorry, but it is still hard to do something about it. Handlaying does not help against heartbreak."

Dustin glared at me with empty eyes, which had apparently given up on dreaming.

I panted heavily. "Do you remember your ex-girlfriend Alexandra Baldwin?"

Dustin nodded solemnly. "Zoey tricked us into dating. That was very nmean."

I sighed deeply. "See, you still like Sandy, but you just dislike how you came together, and that your elder sisters used your relationships in order to be able to control you better."

Dustin nodded.

I suggested the two kids to gove it another chance. "If the two of you work together, you may show Tracy and Zoey that you do not need their patronising demeanour. Doesn't that sound better than just moaning about their permanent interventions?"

Dustin smiled sweetly. "OK, I will ask Sandy tomorrow."

OK, so this job was done, and Dustin would soon be over the insane heartbreak.

* * *

**2.12.7 March Of The Squirrels**

Just a few days had gone by since the girls had started making plots against the boys because of the roof top.

Sandy and Dustin were now dating again, and this time ready to show that theu did not need to get patronised by their elder sisters in order to do something.

And Megan Parker had showed up once more on our campus in order to enroll for the next year. Of course she had been accompanied by her oboe. Now she was actually manipulation the giant squirrels with her whispers, making them march all over the roof top of the boys.

Quinn had hidden some cameras controlling the guys' rootftops. Now we girls sat in the lounge of Brenner Hall in oreder to watch the pictures of the ongoing invasion.

Logan squealed like a fury when one of the furry beasts sat down on his perfectly styled head and started peeing all over it. "My hair creme costed me more than your house! Ouch!"

Fortunately, Logan's head was easily discerned as a hollow nut shell, and thus the squirrels refrained from gnawing at his skull.

The same was valid for Michael Barret and Chase Matthews.

Or maybe the squirrels' teeth were not strong enough to bite their way through the sturdy and massively wooden skulls of the guys?

The squeaver created by Mindy and Quinn was sure able to help with that situation.

Well, the invasion would only last for a few minutes, and then the cursing and screaming boys would be left all alone on their luxury roof.

Yet I sensed that Logan Reese needed the roof not just for relaxing in the afternoon hours and on weekends. I had not yet seen him there by night, but maybe that was because of my sleeping habits.

Further observations were necessary here, and Quinn's hidden cameras would help a lot for this.

Or maybe I could try to use my recently discovered ability to teleport to disappear in a puff of smoke and drift away? I was not willing to reveil this ability to the pubic too fast, as it was still not all that much controllable. But there would be important uses for it, sooner or later, or so I felt.

* * *

**Chapter 3 My Third Year at PCA**

* * *

**3.1 Rebecca**

* * *

**3.1.1 A New Year At PCA**

The summer break was goone, and the red hot sun was still burning all over the beach of Malibu when we returned to our campus for the new academic year.

I lifted my suitcase telekinetically across the campus. This was not really as obvious for the masses, as almost all students had to fight their way across the campus with their belongings, looking for their new dormitory halls and so on.

There were quite a few new students. Some of them, such as Megan Parker, I had already expected, but others were totally new to me.

For example, Chase was accompanied by some busty Latina that was impossibly his little sister or something similarly harmless.

Until the end of last year, the bushy dork had been hankering after Zoey Brooks like an idiot. And now he was bringing a new girlfriend to Pacific Coast Academy?

Maybe it was just a random acquaintance form the summer break, but I sensed more to it.

The new girl was totally shallow minded, unable to appreciate any of the not so obvious inner values of a bushy dweeb such as Chase Matthews.

In other words, the situation stank worse than the skunk's essence or the rotting wastes of Kazu's kitchen after several weeks.

The next thing out there to stab my eyes was a little dispute between Logan Reese and Michael Barret. This was so annoying that even Chase Matthews was made to leave his company alone. As would be made clear to me later on, Michael and Logan were both hell bent on occupying the single bed.

For Logan, this seemed to be a natural privilege earned by his natural qualities as a rich dandy.

But Michael seemed to believe in having got the right, too.

Strangely, I remembered that Michael had occupied the single bed already during their eight grade.[3:1]

How was it possible for Michael and Logan to forget about this fact? Were their brains dso unreliable? Or did they lie on purpose unto each other? Both concepts seemed to make some sense.

But, OK, now it was Chase to intervene. And I sensed that he was up to claiming the single bed for himself, as well. "The first to reach 148 Maxwell Hall makes the choice!" Then he pushed Michael and Logan into the dirt in order to win the race for the single bed.

In the meantime, I sensed little love of the Latina for Chase, but she was still standing around. Was she even able to find her way on her own, now that she was left behind by her boyfriend, neighbourhood guy, or whatever?

I still did not see how the new girl was supposed to like Chase, but I tried to talk to her and show her the way to her dormitory room, but I sensed that she was not willing to talk to random students.

OK, so Chase was on his way to Maxwell Hall, and nothing was supposed to stop him, not even Zoey Brooks. Was he still hankering after the blond mary Sue, inspite of hanging out with the curvy Latina? I sensed strongly that he did, but the single bed in his dormitory room meant a lot to him, and so he passed by Zoey and Dustin, who were slightly confused by Chase's excessively hasty demeanour.

Dustin had apparently promised to help Zoey with her belongings, which was a bit weird, but not my business. He was not even distracted by Jack Ross who wanted Dustion to come with him right to the beach, and he must have thought that a few new girls were able to convince Dustin. Buut this had not been the case, as Dustin wanted top get evrything done so that he would meet Sandy as soon as only possible.

So, off I was to 101 Butler Hall.

* * *

**3.1.2 Leanne Carter**

Just as during the last year, Melanie Puckett was one of my room mates. Inspite of my harsh words about Samantha, she had not decided to ask for a different roomm because she understood that Samantha had hurt Dustin's feelings badly, in front of not just my eyes, and because Frank Murkin had been badly hurt.

But there was also yet another room mate, and much to my surprise she was from Seattle, as well.

Her name was Leanne Carter, which, in other words, meant that she was the multiply awarded pageant winner of the state of Washington. She had been probab;ly either been pushed downstairs or scared into stumbling the same way by Samantha Puckett, but she was a "turn the other cheek" kind of person. This was the reason for her to refrain from withnessing againts the brute acts of violence committed by the blond brute,

I took the lower bunk, leaving Melanie the single bed and Leanne the top bunk.

The pageant queen had been awarded a scholarship for her instruments, videlicet the violin and the saxophone.

* * *

**3.1.3 Peruvian Puff Peppers**

Done with taking care of my belongings, I traverserd the campus yard once again, eventually running once more into Michael Barret and Logan Reese.

Apparently, the race for the single bed had been hitherto a tie, and Chase must have given up, for whatever reason.

And now Logan and Michael were agreeing on another race. They were going to eat chili pods, apparently of the hot sort, and letting the last one to stand take over the single bed.

I had to think about aforementioned puff peppers. I was not able to forsee how many opod Michael and Logan were ready to devour, but it was evident that in the case of those being Peruvian puff chili fruits, their kidneys would be set ablaze and their lips would get torn into a bunch of smithereens. I tried to dissuade them from their suicidal plans.

But Logan only laughed about it. "Hey, hot chilies are not that hot, after all!"

I needed to do something about it, and the only one knowing the dangers of puff peppers precisely was Quinn Pensky. It was thus time to look for her.

* * *

**3.1.4 Turmoil In Brenner Hall**

There was quite some trouble in the residence hall of the high school girls, making it hard to find Quinn Pensky.

First, I confronted a vendor machine selling some new products of Blix, the soft ware vendor sponsoring Pacific Coast Academy with massive amounts of means. I had always figured that their intentions had been thoroughly dishonest, but I had hitherto not found any proof for this stark accusation.

Now there was Quinn Pensky, discussing violently with Coco Wexler. Apparently, the chubby mess had confused her cup size with a room number when assigning Quinn a room for this year.

And Quinn was not willing to take a look at the chili pods devoured by Logan and Michael before she had been assigned a new dormitory room.

I wondered, "what happened to Quinn's erstwhile dormitory room?"

Coco looked dumbfounded, and she started making explanations that I sensed to be nothing more than extremely stupid lies and foul excuses.

I talked Quinn to come with me to her old dormitory room, and check whether the girls Coco had been talking about were actually in there.

According to Coco, those girls suffered from certain allergies and diseases that made it absolutely necessary to put them into Quinn's former room.

We walked the hallway and found the entrance of the room that had formerly served Quinn as a dormitory room.

Quinn gasped as she noticed that the room was devoid of new students, but, on the other hand, chock full with cardboard boxes containing bras and canned ravioli.

Of course there was no way around concluding that Coco had abused the dormitory cell as a storage room for her private belongings.

This was of course not OK, and we threatened to call for Ms. Burvich, the housing manager.

Coco stammered, and she promised to clean up the room and let Quinn move in, along with a few other new students.

Zoey Brooks, Nicole Bristow, and Lola Martinez had promised to help Coco with the dirty work imposed by Quinn.

Until then, Quinn would have got some time left in order to take care of the contest between Logan Reese and Michael Barret.

Before leaving the hallway, Quinn glared at Lola and Nicole. "You know what to do!"

Lola nodded solemnly.

Nicole started talking. "Of course, and it will be so cute to watch Zoey and…" She was apparently about to betray some secret, and that's why she got her treacherous mouth stuffed by Lola's brittle hand.

The bimbo from Kansas gurgled and moaned.

This was one more confirmation of my hunch that Nicole, Quinn, and Lola were up to some plot, probably involving Chase and Zoey.

But was it a plan Chase was aware of, and how, if at all, was the busty Latina involved that had been by Chase's side and somewhat behaved as his girlfriend, although she had not got any warm and fuzzy feelings for the bushy dork.

* * *

**3.1.5 Deadly Sick**

A few senconds later, we had reached the table next to which Michael and Logan were sitting. There was still a stack of chili pods piled up in there midst.

Quinn shook her head. "Boys …"

The faces of the guys betrayed that they were suffering a lot from the hotness of the chili fruits.

Nevertheless, they pretended that they were easy to bear.

Quinn shook her head. "The problem is not the density of capsicine, but another substance typical for the Peruvian variant of chili peppers."

Of course, the guys were much too dumb to understand what Quinn was talking about.

Capsicine was basically what made hot chili peppers hot. Its concentration varied withing the cultivational variants of the chili plant.

Quinn continued, talking about the possibility of chapped lips and kidney failure.

Logan growled, "hey, I have eaten over ten pods already, and my lips are hpt and smooth as ever! Maybe Michael's lips are a bit rough, but he is not a hot guy, anyways."

Michael choked. "I am not what?"

Logan glared at his opponent, "I am the top womaniser. All girls on the campus are into me! That's a fact!"

Quinn and I shrugged. "Dream on, jerk!"

Logan and Michael stuffed another pod down their throat, avoidiong to bite it and trying to swallow it wholesale in order to avoid the caustic taste.

Quinn shook her head. "It does not matter how your lips are by now. The poison is a slow one, and you may suffer from it not today, not this year, but at some point within a few years to a few decades, you will start suffering as badly as can be."

Michael looked aghast, ready to give up. He choked and coughed in order to expel the hot berry from his gullet. Finally, some disgusting goo landed on the tableand started dripping down onto the shoes of Logan, staining them in a disgusting manner.

Logan stuffed one pod more down his throat and forced it further down with allof his might. Then he declared his own victory over Michael, and he claimed the single bed for yet another year to come.

Unfortunately, Michael was now up to accusing us of having been bribed by Logan in order to tell them stuff about the perils of eating peppers, making him puke and let Logan win in the process.

But we were rushing away to Brenner Hall as fast as only possible.

* * *

**3.1.6 Quinn's Room Mates**

Back from the fight over that single bed, we noticed that Lola, Nicole, and Zoey had achieved emptying the whole dormitory room, while Coco had been sitting nearby on the floor of the hallway, slurping a half eaten can of ravioli. Along with her partially opened cardboard boxes and some of their scattered contents, the chubby mess was blocking the whole floor and made it hard for bypassing students to move through the hallways, and this was a particular problem on student drop day.

Zoey was now up to go and fetch the other two students who were supposed to come and live with Quinn in her restored residence room.

Quinn remarked, "my labortory equipment will go straight to the scienxce club, but I have to talk to Mindy about the details."

Lola smiled. "Good for your room mates … and the girls next door, too!"

Nicole nodded solemnly.

Quinn unpacked a bee hive in a transparent container.

Lola shivered. "I am allergic to beans!"

Quinn explained that she was keen on fresh honey for breakfast, and that's why she cultivated honey bees.

Nicole remarked, "bee stings don't make you cute." She looked disappointed.

Lola looked at the walls. "May your bees squeeze themselves through the holes in the wall?"

Quinn shrugged. "I have to release them and send them away to the blossoming plants, so they may fetch the nectar and return it to teh bee hive. If you happen to open your windows right then, and the bees get confused …"

Lola and Nicole shivered.

Quinn asked her friends, "have you told Zoey to go to Chase?"

Nicole and Lola nodded solemnly.

The drama diva stuffed Nicole's mouth in order to prevent her from even starting to talk.

Zoey was now back with the new room mates.

One of the girls was carrying an almost finished model of a house, made of cotton swabs and glue. She started talking with a penetrant lisp, introducing herself: "My name is Stacey Dillsen, and I am from Swampscott in Massachusetts. My sister Suzanne[3:2] works as a nurse for St, Steve Hospital in Mississippi."

Lola shuddered for disgust, and the pretty but totall;y shallow minded Latine knew that she would hate Stacey forever just for her lisp.

That was of course not a nice thing to do, but Lola would soon turn out as even worse.

The other new girl forced to live with Quinn Pensky was Ashley Lakefish,[3:3] apparently a very studious girl, but not keen on natural sciences, especially not the biology of insects, which meant that she was not a fan of Quinn's own beehive.

Nicole urged Zoey once more to go to Chase. "He will tell you that he is in love with you!"

Lola nodded. "Yes, he really is. Even I know it, and I have been at this school for one year only."

Zoey glared at her friends. "Hey girls, Chase and I are not in love, we are just friends … can you say it? **Friends**."

Lola looked at Zoey. "And you are **crazy**."

I sensed that Lola, Quinn, and Nicole knew something more about Chase's current situation than they admitted unto Zoey.

Then I combioned the hints.

Chase was hanging out with the busty Latina. The two of them appeared like boyfriend and girlfriend, but their emotions were colder than the antarctic ice. That was typical for an old married couple that had had stopped talking unbto each other and was only staying together in order to fool the relatives, friends, and the boss of the bowling club or the revenrend down the road into believing that they were still a functional family.

Lola, Nicole, and Quinn wanted to make Zoey to see Chase and the new girl.

What would happen if Zoey caught Chase with another girl?

My expoeriences from last year answered the question with ease.

Zoey had been jealous of Trisha Kirby alias Samantha Puckett after the latter had seduced Chase Matthews. But she had hidden her feelings successfully.

Little later, Lola had become the target of Zoey's jealousy. This time, Lola and Chase had been intentionally dating in front of Zoey's eyes, even with her approval, and this had made Zoey almost go insane for jealousy, although she would never have admitted to it, either.

Lola had got remorses, because she was Zoey's best friend, and thus it felt so wrong playing Chase's girlfriend.

But the busty Latina was a different story, as she was not known by Zoey.

Hm, both Lola and the company of Chase were Latinas … was that an accident?

I did not really believe in accidents …

Zoey was now gone, and I hoped that Chase had got a good explanation and would come straight to the point, whatever it was.

I had given Chase a lot of time in order to fess up the straight way unto the girl of his dreams. But if he was now still resorting to stupidities like making Zoey jealous, I was unable to avoid getting ultimately upset and tell Zoey that it had all been a pernicious plot.

Suddenly, Stacey's cotton swab house collided with Quinn's bee hive, and both of the items burst into smithereens. And this, of course, implied that the honey bees were now set free and about to wreak havoc.

Lola fumbled wildly with a pillow, trying to swat or chase away the fluttering stingers.

Stacey squealed like a fury when she was surrounded by bees.

Quinn yelled, "don't move, you make the bees just more angry."

I stood still, hoping for the insects to find some other way. Then I thouht about Megan. "Maybe she is also a bee whisperer? There is a tune about flying bees" I tried to use my tek mate in order to contact her, if she was already on the campus.

Ashley Lakefish nodded. "You mean Rimsky Korsakoff's _Bumblebee__'__ Flight_?"

Lola, on the other hand, was looking for Zoey in order to tell her to come back and help collecting Quinn's bees.

I was not able to talk, so a text message had to be enough.

In this moment, Zoey came back, but she was not really a help when it came down to fighting the stingers.

Nicole asked, "have you met Chase? Have you made out on the campus square?"

Zoey glared at her room mate. "Yes, we have met, but then Lola called me …" Then she jumped sinto a closet in order to hide form the bees.

All of a sudden, the bees seemed to be interested in Coco's spicy pasta, and they started hanging out around her.

Coco screamed and whimpered.

Now Megan stormed in, playing aforementioned tune on her oboe. And this helped indeed and made the bees refrain from pouncing upon Coco and her can.

I greated the girl from San Diego. "You've saved us."

Megan sighed. "OK, but the bees don't belong here into the middle of the hallway, even when not flying like a crazy swarm of killer bees."

Zoey, still hidden, growled: "The faster the beasts are gone, the better."

Then Leanne Carter Schwartz walked in, remarking, "bees do not belong into a beehive on the campus, they belong into the open nature. Let me take them there!"

Lola, Nicole, Stacey, and Ashley look dumbfounded.

Quinn wanted to protest, but it was too late, as her room mates had decided to get rid of the stingers for good.

The bees crawled onto Leanne's arms and let her carry them away into the open air, and all 5that in a totally quiet and peaceful manner.

Finally, my room mate and her stinging friends had left the building, making us sigh for relief, and letting Zoey return from her sticky exile.

Nicole, Lola, and Quinn grabbed Zoey. "And now we go to Chase, and then he will tell you about his feelings fopr you!"

I still hoped that this was true, although tNicole, Lola, and Quiinn were apparently dishonest.

I decided to follow the girls to Chase's dormitory room.

* * *

**3.1.7 Dustin's Dismay**

We were now out on the campus, right on our way to Maxwell Hall, when Dustin came running up to us.

I asked, "aren't you appointed with Sandy?"

Dustin nodded. "Later, for Sandy is now with Wendy and Ashley, and they wait for Megan. You know … girls' things … and a good boyfriend lets his girl hang out with her friends from time to time."

Zoey smiled at her brother. "That is so nice!" She panted. "But why are you so totally excited?"

Dustin coughed. "My new room mate … Nevel Papperman …"

Zoey wondered: "Yeah, OK, what is with Nevel?"

Dustin admitted that he was scared by Nevel. "He talks in a very emphatic manner and uses strange words, such as _dystopia_." Dustin shivered.

I calmed him down. "Nevel is certainly not as bad as it sounds."

Dustin had also got another new room mate, a certain Robert Carmichael, generally known as "Scooter,"[3:4] "Robbie annoys me, but he doesn't scare me … only Nevel does."

Zoey took her little brother by the hand, and she went along with him to his dormitory room in order to try to help him with his room mate.

Lola and Quinn looked really angry because of the interruption. Their thoughts betrayed more and more that they were trying to follow a plan, but Dustin had messed it up.

Quinn picked her tek mate, and she started calling someone, videlicet Chase Matthews — or so I had guessed — in order to tell him about the delay.

* * *

**3.1.8 Disgusting Scene**

Finally, Dustin's problem was solved, at least for the time being.

Zoey was back from his dormitory hall, and she was now ready to visit Chase.

Something told me that she had been troubled by one of Dustin's room pals or friends, for one reason or another.

I followed Zoey to the hallways of Maxwell hall.

The blond Mary Sue opened the door to Chase's room which was apparently not realy shut and just almost closed. And then she gasped.

Chase and the busty criolla were making out in the most perverse and disgusting manner.

Now it was clear to me that the two of them were only feigning. The girl was totally disgusted by the mere vicinity of the bushy dweeb, and the dork did only think about Zoey, not his falsely so-called "steady girlfriend".

Chase gasped. "Oops … Zoey? This is my steady girlfriend, Rebecca!"[3:5]

I closed my eyes, for Zoey deserved to know the truth about it. Chase had got almost two years full of chances to talk to Zoey honestly about his feelings. And now he was trying that perverted old jealousty trap again.

Zoey was consternated, and I sensed different reasons for that. First, she seemed to have seen Chase always as a last fallback action, even if she had not been convinced of his feelings for her, and now this option seemed to drift away with the wind. Second, the way Chase and that Rebecca had kissed appeared totally sinful, something only a married couple should do.

I panted heavily. "Zoey, don't believe Chase one word even."

The Mary Sue glared at me, stammering: "What doi you weant to say?"

I explained, "Chase and Rebecca … if that is her actual name … are ot a couple. They don't have any feelings. It is all afeint."

Zoey shuddered. "What? What do you try to tell me?"

I started talking about my observations of her fits of jealousy during the last year, starting with Trisha Kirby alias Samantha Puckett and continuing with Lola Martinez. "And this is the third stage."

Chase was consternated and helpless. He sat on the rim of his bed like a stone sculpture, unable to prove me wrong.

Zoey glared at Chase. "Did you really do this? Make me jealous on purpose? And what does Lola have to do with all that? You used my best friend in order to make me jealous| You monster, you …" No words would have been enough to express her excruciatingly deep disgust for Chase's deed.

Chase stammered helplessly. "Why … would I do something like that?"

Rebecca was annoyed. "What am I supposed to do now?"

Chase shrugged. "It is now all between me and Zoey."

Rebecca growled, "but I still get my bucks and my play?"

Zoey gasped. "What bucks? What play?"

Rebecca screamed, "do you think I kiss an uncomely and borin g guy like Chase without anything in turn that counts? I want money and fame. My price is two hundred bucks, and a main rôle in a play written by Chase, or musical, or movie … mow matter what it is, as long as it makes me famous."

Zoey panted like a rusty steam engine. "Chase Matthews, I am so done with you! Be happy with him, Rebecca!" She tried to be sarcastic, but was unable to sound like that because she was exhausted form everything going on during the last hours. It was better for her to call it a day and sleep all night through. She was still worried about many details, especially whether Quinn, Nicole, and Lola had been involved in the whole evil plot. But she was too weak to think about all that for now.

I decided to call it a day, as well. There were so many students that I wanted to greet again for the new academic year, including especially Matthew Palmer Noid, and also a few new kids that I thought I should meet. But that project was now postponed to another day.

* * *

**3.2 Trying Out**

* * *

**3.2.1 Zoey's Troublesome Night**

The next morning, I met Zoey Brooks alone in the cafeteria. I decided to sit next to her instead of waiting for Melanie and Leanne.

She looked excruciatingly grumpy, which was more than understandable after finding out that Chase had abused other girls on purpose in order to make her jealous. "I had never supposed him to sink to such a low level. When did you know …"

I panted. "I have sensed his feelings for you pretty fast, but I had tried to talk him into being honest, more than just once … sorry for having waited until now. Chase feared that you would trash him as a friend for good once he told you about his feelings."

Zoey sighed. "I don't think I would have believed it earlier. Anyways, I do not think that tha girl of fifteen year should have a steady boyfriend. If he had fessed up, I'd just have told him to wait a bit longer. Anyways, I can't tolerate boys yousing girls in order to make others jealous. And I can't tolerate room mates that help boys with their stupid plans."

I coughed. "So, you know that Nicole, Lola, and Quinn have helped Chase's mission? I would even say that Lola instigated Chase, but that is a bold accusation."

Zoey shook her head. "It is not, as Nicole and Lola have now broken down and admitted to everything. Really, Nicole has admitted to everything. She is not good at keeping secrets."

This, of course, made a lot of sense to me. Lola was a good actress and certainly able to come up with another lie in order to hide or downplay her rôle in Chase's pernicious fraud. But Nicole was just too talkative.

Zoey remarked, "after all, it was not possible for me to sleep in a room with two charlatans."

I wondered, "so where did you spend the night?"

Coco had apparently been too distracted by the bras and the cans of ravioli, thence unable to check for the presence of all girls, as was her early duty. But it was a totally troublesome task during the first days of the academic years, as she had to adapt to new housing plans, temporary exceptions, and last minute changes arranged during the last hours. There was no way to say that it was a routine job, and I was sure that someone like Coco Wexler was not able to fulfill that task sufficiently well.

Zoey admitted to having borrowed a tent from Coco's storage room and stayed out on the campus.

This explained her currently miserable looks, at least to some degree.

Now she wanted to trade places with Quinn Pensky. "The three treacherous wenches will be together in one room, and I won't have to bother with them all night."

That made sense. But of course there was no guarantee that she was just about to jump into yet another host of troubles.

Zoey continued, "I would have asked Dustin to let me rest in his dormitory room, although that is illegal. But his new room mate Nevel …"

I had already sensed that there was something like that, but not what Nevel had exactly done unto Zoey. "Does the little guy hit on you?"

Zoey nodded slowly. "In some way. You probably know what had happened when Dustin had done that to you …"

Oh yeah, those memories were by absolutely no means pleasant.

Zoey explained, "Nevel wants to run a haberdashery, a shop selling short wares. He collects rare and ancient ones of the past."[3:6] She shrugged. "Isn't that weird?"

I remarked, "I am not the one to ask about weirdness."

Zoey sighed. "Sorry! Well, Dustin had boasted with my skills as a fashion designer, and in a largely exaggerated manner."

I did not think that her little brother had exaggerated, but rather that Zoey was simply too modest.

But the connection was not hard to see. He was into trading needles, scissors, yarns, buttons, and so on, especially historical ones, and those were certainly useful for creating textiles.

"Nevel has got plans for us to get married and run a business together that consists in the remake of historical fashion." Zoey sighed. "But that doesn't mean that I have to love him, does it?"

I panted. "Hardly …"

Zoey was afraid of not only breaking Nevel's heart, which would not have been as hard as in the case of Dustin's erstwhile crush on me, but also to sound like trying to make fun of his ambitions, something which she would not like to happen, as she was really pleased that someone of Nevel's age did have plans like these, and she was not someone trying to discourage tweens from their far reaching ambitions.

I did not know what to answer.

Zoey remarked that she was now up to prticipating in the trials for the basketball team. She was in a miserable mood, and this was certainly not a good starting point for her wish.

Other students were up to trying out for other teams as well.

My room mate Melanie Puckett was up to trying out for the cheerleading squad, just as the year ago. Her competition was much larger, as there were now a lot more girls at Pacific Coast Academy. It was already evident that there was no longer any need for hiring additional cheerios from neighbouring schools like Palmwood, Northridge, or James K. Polk in order to supplement our own squad.

Leanne was going to attend the trials for the philharmonic orchestra. She had already tried out in order to get granted her scholarship, but she needed to be present in order to determine the optimal composition of the orchestra and the concert plan for this term.

* * *

**3.2.2 Basketball Crisis**

Our middle school basketball team had won the Californian state championships about two years ago. Now those kids had all tirned into high school students, so by default, you would expect a squad pretty much able to compete very well again and to qualify for the state championship on high school level. In addition, the completely home grown cheerio squad would provide our Stingray basketball freaks with additional motivation.

So, while this sounded very nice in theory, the trials already revealed some of the problems.

First of all, the coach responsible for the high school team was not coach Ferguson who had advised Zoey and her followers during their successful run for the middle school state championship, but aforementioned Coach Keller. That creep had not forgiven unto Zoey and her gang, who had been involved in the aforementioned incineration of Sushi Rox.

And then there were the emotional problems of some of the potential players.

We have already seen the conditions for Zoey Brooks, the potential captain of the team. But having had to see Chase commit some reckless perversity in front of her own eyes and seeing her best female friends of the last two years all involved in the dirty business was certainly enough to break her morals badly.

Of course, Chase had been hit very hard as well by last night's scandal. He hated me for having rebeiled his plan, but he hated himself even more for having ignored any warnings, not just mine, but especially those forwarded by Michael Barret.

The keen afro american freak had been very much consternated. He would even have been a bit shocked if I had not reveiled Chase's intentions, for then Michael would not have understood how Chase could give up on Zoey for a girl like Rebecca Trinidad Vega y Martines that was way out of his league.

Oh yeah, Rebecca was Lola's elder sister, and that was the reason why Lola had suggested her as a fake girlfriend for Chase. She should have been acting as a girl from Chase's hometown whom he knew in particular due to his mother's professional contacts. But this fake identity was now totally vain and pointless.

Chase was worried about having to pay Rebecca for her immoral services, for he was permanently out of money. And the other part of the payment was writing a musical or something like that in order to make Rebecca shine and get her remembered by everyone in her victory.[3:7] This was as much of a burden for him as the necessity of working towards getting over the irreversible loss of Zoey Brooks, the girl of his life.

Logan Reese had also heard about the clamorous clash between Zoey and Chase. As usual, he abused the situation in order to rub salt into the bushy dork's wounds. But he was also troubled by his father's tenth remarriage following his recent divorce. For this reason, he had probably forgotten how to play basket balls.

Coach Keller let the kids practise free throws, and Logan failed every time, probably because of an awkward posture that served only the purpose of boasting with his body, but not that of scoring in basketball. Keller was up to throwing Logan out, but he would have been forced to eliminate the whole team, which was impossible. Obviously, Keller was just a poor excuse of a coach, and there was no future for our team with this trainer. Now he refused to answer any question, and he insisted in getting some more sushi first.

But who was able to replace Keller?

* * *

**3.2.3 Cheerio Hierarchy**

Melanie was disapoointed because she had lost her task as the leading Stingray cheerio.

The culprit was a new girl, and not just ayone, but no other than Rebecca Martinez.[3:8]

This meant that Rebecca would have to cheer for Zoey and Chase, in the case they would make it into the basketball team. This was certainly calling for trouble.

Then there was aforementioned Tasha Misa, alias arrogance incarnate.

The most dangerous of all was some Miranda Franklin alias "Makeout" Mandy,[3:9] who kept on enticing the football players during their training sessions.

Those were only some of the permananet cheerio girls, but it was clear for me that the aforementioned ones were up to causing a whole host of troubles.

There was another big trouble: The absence of an appropriate cheerio coach.

Two years ago, Coach Dirga from James K. Polk had been responsible in a part time job for the athletic training of our cheerios, while Fletcher St. Troy had been responsible for the choreography. But then we had fired St, Troy, and now the school administration did not want to rely any longer on external coaches hired on a hourly bases, given that the cheerios were now all PCA students.

Currently, Mrs. Bromwell, aforementioned teacher for science, had taken over the cheerio team, although she was originally planned for teaching the yoga classes. This was certainly not a good choice.

Melanie had already got an idea concerning a syuitable choreographer: Ernest Lane[3:10] from Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts. But there was probably no way to pry him loose from there, no matter what, and the school admin thought they could do without hiring someone on an hourly base for that position.

* * *

**3.2.4 The Orchestra**

Leanne returned from the first practice and trial session of our freshly founded philharmonic orchestra, conducted by Martin Reese. "Wow, this sounds really like a great orchetra."

Michael Barret and Quinn Pensky refused to participate, although they were able to play the flute and the trombone, respectively. Well, this depended on the definition of _being able to_.

There had already been aforementioned violoncellist Jennette Novicky and a violinist named Nils Jacobsen.[3:11]

But the scholarships had lured many other kids to Pacific Coast Academy.

One of them was of course aforementioned solo oboe Megan Parker saxophone, followed by solo violin and saxophone Leanne Carrter.

Triangle artist Mikey Jay from New York City for the violin was another powerful reinforcement.

Kelly Peckinpaw from Pacific Bluff in San Diego County would also play the violin, followed by her first grade sister Piper, a gifted violoncellist.

And there was also a new backup pianist, and this was no other than aforementioned Nevel Amadeus Papperman. Apparently, haberdashery was not his only talent.

I sensed that Nevel Papperman was more profound and fascinating than any person ever seen on our campus, nd that's why he was so scary. The broad mass of vulgar people was of course utterly unable to understand him, and it would not be easy for me, either, my telepathic abilities notwithstanding.

* * *

**3.2.5 Megan's Idea**

Megan Parker had made it into the soccer team coached by aforementioned Ferguson, and she was sure kicking butts. She had heard about the misery of the basketball team. "My friend Addiwe from the east coast has also got a basketball team at her school, coached by one Peirson."

I wondered, "you would like to employ Peirson as the new coach for the basketball team?"

Megan shrugged. "I am not the school administration."

Of course none of us kids had got anything to say, but maybe a little trick would have helped.

In any case, Megan remembered a similar crisis of her soccer team in San Diego, a crisis that had been solved by Megan's oboe.

Now, this has to sound really weird.

But Megan had got her team to submit itself to the sound of the woodwind, and all the problems had been forgotten for the time of the soccer match.

Of course it would not be easy to convince jerks like Logan Reese to listen to Megan's performance.

I wondered whether a symphony of the whole orchestra, or at least a part of it, would be even more efficient.

Megan shrugged. "Maybe?" She had not been convinced completely by the results of the trials for thr philharmonic club. "If I could choose, I'd at least have some piano backup."

This would have implied the help of Nevel Amadeus Papperman.

Both of them were very profound, and their combination would be either brilliant or an intergalactic nuclear disaster.

* * *

**3.2.6 Nevel And Megan**

Of course Nevel Papperman was not able to carry his own piano from his hometown, which happened to be Seattle, allthe way to Malibu, and he was not going to get one into his, Dustin's, and Scooter's dormitory room.

I was not going to help him by levitating a piano across the campus, either, for that would have been crazy.

But there was a piano on the campus, more precisely in some music hall.

Nevel's first action when seeing the instrument had been a bit desperate. The piano had apparently not been undusted in ages.

Custodian Banville[3:12] had undusted it, but in a completely unprofessional manner.

Nevel had complained about the horribly mistuned device. He was gifted with absolute audition and a very fine smelling sense.

But now Dean Rivers had ordered professionals in order to tune the piano, and after several hours of accoustic terror, Nevel appeared to be content with the sufficiently pure sound of the instrument.

Nevel sat down by the piano and started stretching his fingers.

Finally, megan arrived, rigged and ready with her fine tuned oboe.

I was sitting in the small audience, along with Zoey, whom I tried to persuade into giving Megan's idea a chance. This was of course not so easy, as the blond Mary Sue was still scared by Nevel's weird proposal.

Zoey would certainly not want to waste her time on music that was not inspirational enough.

Logan Reese had hated the idea, and he was not willing to listen to lame music from the nineteenth century. The fact that his uncle was a famous violoncellist did not help here at all, quite the contrary,

Zoey told me, "Michael Barret will probably only show up later. He is ashamed because he has got such a transversally held flute, or whatever it is called. I had got a hard time talking him into even considering it."

Nevel smelled at Megan's hair, and due to his fine smelling senses, he was able to tell what sort of shampoo she was using.

Megan shrugged. "OK, that's correct!" She grinned.

Nevel wondered, "what do you think about campfires?"

Megan smiled. "Oh, camp fires and moon shine, who doesn't like to rhapsodise over this?"

Nevel nodded solemnly. "OK, then listen to this tune …" He let his fingers dance all over the keys of the piano. "I call this composition _Campfire_."

Megan started to feel warmed up. "Oh, yeah, I understand why you chose that topic."

Nevel grinned. "I have made a DVD of this, with an inspirational animation in the background that looks like a fire."

Megan smiled. "Oh, wow, I definitely want to see that!"

Nevel promised to give her a copy of the DVD after supper. "Maybe we can even dance to that tune. Now, of course, I can't as I have to play the piano."

Megan shrugged. "Yeah, that would not be a bad idea. And I definitely want to see you dance." She giggled merrily. "But now we have got some work to do. When my soccer team in San Diego sucked, I had started playing the slaves' choir from Verdi's _Nabucco_, but only the last stanza. And that had worked miracles, I tell you."

Nevel looked astonished. "Great! I had always supposed that decent romantic music had got that effect. And Verdi is certainly one of the ultimate masters of manipulating the hearts of the listeners with the sound of the instruments and the lyrics of the voices."

Megan nodded solemnly. "He was … great." Then she started blowing her oboe.

Nevel closed his eyes before starting to play, and he even sang along.

* * *

O simile dei Solima ai fati  
Traggi un suono di crudo lamento  
O t'ispiri il Signore un contento  
Che t'infonda al patire virtù.  
Che t'infonda al patire virtù.  
Al patire virtu!

* * *

I did not understand on site, but Martin Reese explaine that it meant something on the lines of a choice between a crude wailing sound, reminding of the fall of Jerusalem, and a divinely inspired tune that lets us endure in our pains.

Zoey sighed deeply. "OK, for me, this sounds OK, but it will be hard to get the others to join in. And Coach Keller is sternly opposed to it, or anything that prevents him from getting his sushi as fast as possible. "But I could definitely use such a concert." She also hoped that there were really sparks flying between Megan Parker and Nevel Papperman. "This would save me from his … proposal."

I nodded solemnly.

Matthew Palmer Noid was particularly pleased by the performance of Megan and Nevel. "That was fantabulous." He needed his regular dose of serious music in order to be safe from freaking out in the most impossible moment. And Megan's oboe had always served this purpose fairly well, but in combination with Nevel's piano backup, it was even fantastic.

* * *

**3.2.7 Keller Quits PCA**

Fortunately, Martin Reese had talked Garth Berman into following the concept of Megan Parker in order to restore the wretched basketball team.

Megan and Nevel were crossing the campus hand in hand. They were talking about salsa recipes, wondering what you would get when meixing Megan's red salsa[3:13] with Nevel's tapenade,[3:14] a mixture of capers, olives, and garlic.

Nevel quoted a poem he had written for a contest. "A kiss, a kiss, is what I seek …"

Megan grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss. "One only?" She sighed.

Nevel smiled. "erm …"

Coach Keller, on the other hand, was upset and left Pacific Coast Academy on site for good. He had already been banned from Nozu, erstwhile Sushi Rox. Mrs. lee was of the opinion that AAmerican visitors of Asian restaurants need to adapt to the Chinesze of Japanese customs and language. His repeated and incorrigible mispronubcitaion of "sushi" was a disgrace for the kitchen and no longer to be tolerated.

This was also finally seen by Dean Rivers and Executive Chairman Berman as a reason for firing Keller. Teachers that refused to learn and work on their mistakes were an excruciatingly bad example for us kids and thus not tolerable in their office.

So, who would coach the basketball and football team from now on?

* * *

**3.2.8 The Return Of The Danger**

Since the appearance of Monique Chaumont on our campus, there had been rumours about a possible return of Dana Cruz from Paris.

And now the living danger was actually here. She had been a bit late for the new academic year because of some problems with her departure from France, but this had all been approved by our school' administration. She grabbed rudely one of Sikowitz's coconuts and threw it straight into a waste bin standing across the campus square, demonstrating that she had not unlearned her skills.

Given the current crisis of our team, Dana Cruz was desperately needed in order to return to our old virtues and beat the wolves from Santa Clarita once again. As we remembered, Dana had preferred cheerleading over basketball when she was new at Pacific Coast Academy, but back then, there had been few decent cheerleaders and many decent basketball players. The situation was now apparently different, and this would finally convince Dana as well.

Dana Cruz was going to share a dormitory room with aforementioned Vanessa Tayler and with Lisa Perkins.

I sensed that this meant quite a few troubles.

And Nicole Bristow was most consternated when she saw her archenemy even across the campus square, She feared being hit by a coconut bomb, and thus she preferred to take cover wherever she was able to find it.

* * *

**3.3 Coco Goes Insane**

* * *

**3.3.1 The Model Plane**

Not much more than two weeks had gone by.

I crossed the campus and saw a bunch of middle school guys, including Dustin Brooks, with a model plane.

Jack Ross complained, "the this crappy thing does not fly any longer."

Dustin remarked that Quinn was soon going to pass by here. "She is as reliable, you may use her in order to fix your watch. She can probably repair the plane."

I remembered my visit to the airport of Los Angeles, where I had levitated a model plane, making it look like flying. I asked myself: "Is it the right time to do this again and make Dustin's toy plane fly?"

Along came Quinn Pensky, and, as anticipated, she was asked right away by Dustin to repair his miniature aeroplane.

Quinn nodded solemnly. She opened the souls of her shoes, reveiling a tool box containing screw drivers, hammers, wrenches, pincers, and similar devices needed for repairing machines.

I sensed what Quinn was really up to. "You just try to improve the propulasion at the cost of navigation." I had heard something like that last year upon the guide through the airport of Los Angeles, otherwise I would not have been able to talk in such a way.

Quinn gasped at me. "Hey! Don't dare to floccinaucify my competences!"

Dustin wondered, "do you want to say I won't be able to direct the plane with my remote control?"

I nodded solemnly. "It will be totally dangerous."

Quinn replied, "but where is the fun if you can't make a plane fly as fast as only possible? The power is not enough for allowing both for supporting the servo navigation and the propulsion, so I have to choose priorities."

Jack squealed, "but running the plane into people or windows will cause a lot of trouble."

Dustin nodded. "The school had got strict rules against damaging the buildings and killing pupils ad teachers. We could get expelled, and Zoey would spank my butt sore."

Jack nodded. "I don't want to risk that. Come, lets go and play a nice video game instead!"

Dustin squealed enthusiastically. "_Killer Aliens_, here we come!"

Quinn was consternated, because she had not been able to give a demonstration of her abilities. I sensed that she was not going to give up, though. This would just not have been the style of a mad scientist.

* * *

**3.3.2 New Basketball Coach**

The school's administration had been forced to replace Keller as fast as possible. However, it was not feasible to find one person able to and willing to take over all jobs left behind by the departerd coach.

In the case of Keller's legacy as a basketball coach, a temporary solution was found pretty fast:

Terrence Bo, whom we had encountered in the cafeteria of Los Angeles airport, had applied successfully for the job.

We had not known that he had once upon a time been a great athlete, but after reconsidering his part in the fight against the gang of Milo Creery, there was now little doubt left about it.

Of course, T-Bo also wanted to compete with Kazu and Mrs. Lee and run his own snack booth, but he did not have the necessary qualifications for taking over the whole cafeteria. On the other hand, there was at least the coffee cart he was able to aim for.

The current coffee vendor was an incompetent horny creep and needed to be taught a lesson. Maybe the toy plane of Dustin and his friends should have made its way straight into the face of the coffee cart vendor.

Would I have been able to redirect the miniature plane with my telekinetic abilities?

This sounded not unlikely to me, but there would have been side effects out of my control, and that possibility had always scared me.

OK, enough of that for now … the basketball team was ready to assemble for the first training session conducted by Terrence Bo, the new coach and former employee of the airport cafeteria.

Terrence Bo also wanted to coach the cheerio girls, but, for some reasons, the school's administration was opposed to this suggestion.

* * *

**3.3.3 Coco's Misery**

As already seen, Coco Wexler was as unreliable and messy as can be, The only reason why she had been employed in the first place by Dean Rivers was the simple fact that she was a high school dropout with no qualifications and thus dirt cheap. Of course, Leo Bradford had not been willing to spend topo much money into the opening of the school to girls, and thus the vacancy of an adviser for the girls' dormitory blocks had to be filled in with someone totally wretched and miserable, such as Coco Wexler.

On the other hand, the boys' dormitory adbisers were allcertaified and well-trained for their job.

We had recently seen that her addiction to certaib food had made her completely oblivious of her duties as a dormitory adviser.

Her confusion of bra cupsizes with room numbers, which had caused a lot of turmoil on student drop day, was somewhat forgivable, as assigning rooms to students was really the job of the housing manager, and thus of Miss Burvich. What had been the reasons for letting Coco perform that task in the first place? It was more or less a mistake of the school's administration. Miss Burvich had been granted vacations for two weeks, but, unfortunately, the assignment of dormitories would have had to happen exactly during those days. Having become aware of this fatal dilemma, Dean Rivers had not seen a better solution but let the dormitory advisers take care of the room assignments. Some tried to fulfill that task as well as only possible, and Coco was clearly overburdened, something that Dean Rivers should have known a priori, and that should have caused our headmaster to act appropriately.

But now Coco had gone a step further and dropped flat onto the pavement, weeping like a cataract.

The reason was her so-caleld "boyfriend" Carl,[3:15] well, currently rather her ex-boyfriend of some sort, for they had broken up again. He was the coach of our completely unsuccessful softball team, an embarrassment for the whole school since many a month.

Of course, their relationship had been as much of a mess as Coco Wexler herself. It makes not much sense going into the details there.

The only obvious thing was the fact that in her current situation, was not suited for her job, and rather a peril for life at Pacific Coast Academy.

Zoey Brooks sighed deeply when she found the wretched lump of misery formerly known as Coco Wexler in front of the entrance of Brenner Hall. Weirdly, Zoey always tried to stick up for her dormitory adviser and tried to let her keep her job, although she knew deep inside that Coco was nothiong but an embarrassment for an elitarian boarding school with claims like those made by our board. Supporting Coco was of course not easy for the bblond Mary Sue, just a few weeks after the revelation of Chase's mean intrigue, supported by Quinn and Lola. For that reason, Zoey needed tp try to get the cooperation of Logan Reese, or probably his money. She would have asked Michael Barret as well, but the afroamerican freak was sticking up to Chase, although the latter had consistently ignored all warnings issued by the former and thoroughly deserved getting punished by Zoey.

* * *

**3.3.4 Win A Date**

* * *

** Using The Web Show**

Now Chase had not given up quite on his Zoey, but he had thought of supporting her quest in order to prove unto the perfect girl that he was still useful for something.

For that reason, Chase and Michael had had the glorious idea of using their owmm web show in order to look for a new an dbetter boyfriend for Coco Wexler.

This was a bit weird, for they had almost given up on their own web presence at the very beginning of the academic year.

The reason for this was their contract with _Toon Juice_, a commercially operated web site that offered a platform for upscaling low budget cartoon producers. The deal included a regular sunbmission of new and original cartoons.

Before the summer break, Chase's and Michael's web show had been used in order to spread those cartoons, and thus the show had become more or less obsolete ever since.

Chase's and Michael's plan was inspired by those many dating shows seen on various TV channels.[3:16]

Three men were invited.

Coco would ask them questions they would have to answer, and then she would chose one of the guys for a common dinner at Nozu's.

But which men were in the ring?

* * *

** The Canditates**

Originally, Chase and Michael had been able to persuade Sikowitz, T-Bo, and Ferguson to show up. But Coach Ferguson had to drop pout the last hour befor the event, as Dean Rivers had called him into his office for some important negotiations.

Now it was all down to Sikowitz and Ferguson, but Michael was desperately looking for a third contender.

A man around forty happened to show up in the lounge of Megan Hall, looking for someone.

Michael ignored the request. "Oh, Sir, would you like to participate in a dating show, right now?"

The old ma wondered, "oh, I am properly looking for my step daughter, Miss Parker. Will you guide me her way right after your show, if I participate?"

Michael nodded solemnly. "Of course, and it doesn't take more than a quarter."

The man agreed on the deal.

I scratched my chin. "Was this Walter Nichols, the step father of Megan? Why was he, a married man, agreeing on participating in a dating show?" I guessed that he was really desperate and lost on the campus, thus accepting any help. At least I sensed that he was not really thinking about what he was doing.

* * *

** Coco And Walter**

We were watching the web show on the plasma screen in the lounge in Mazwell Hall.

Coco was statiened in the dormitory room of Mark del Figgalo, so she would not see the three men that had applied for a date with her.

Quinn was once more active as a tech producer, and she was staying with Michael in his room, while Mindy Crenshaw, equipped with more cameras and microphones, was taking care of Coco.

The messy wench was starting to ask the questions. "Boy number one … if I had a piece of ravioli on one of my cheeks and I failed to notice it, what would you do?"

T-Bo replied, "I would put it on a stick, and sell it to the next customer in the cafeteria."

The same question was then asked unto Sikowitz, who answered "I would not get distracted by it and keep on chuckling my coconuts."

Coco squealed. "Cool … my name is Coco … I love coconuts!" She addressed Walter Nichols, the last of the canditates.

The married man from San Diego replied calmly. "I would scratch it off … and eat it myself."

Coco smiled. "Wow! What a good taste!"

Mindy urged Coco to move on to the next question.

The chubby mess continued, "OK, number two … suppose I have ordered a bra of the wrong cup size. What would you do?"

Sikowitz replied, "I would give you my coconuts, so you may stuff them into your bra in order to make them fit nicely."

Coco grinned. "That sounds like a cool idea. Number three, what would you do?"

Walter replied, "I's let you boil the bra until it fits, and then drink the launfry sewage."

Coco admired Walter's taste once more. "Wow, that sounds really genius! Next, number one, what would you do in such a case case?"

Terrence Bo replied, "I would impale the bra with a stick, and then sell it in my cafeteria."

Coco sighed. "Oh, that is really great!" Now it was her time for the third and thus last question. "Number three … it is my birthday day, and you have almost forgotten about it. What would be your last minute surprise for me?"

Walter scratched his head. "I would give a few bucks to my son Josh and my step son Drake, and then they would probably buy a micro wave stove or something like that, … I don't know."

Coco nodded. "OK, that's fair. Number one, what would you do?"

Terrence Bo replied, "I'd impale all the leftovers from the cafeteria on a stick and then give it to you."

Coco looked agahst. "Sounds yummy … but a bit lame. Number two, what would you do?"

Sikowitz replied, "I would improvise a play about the man who has forgottemn his wife's birthday."

Coco scratched her chin, but she did not quite get it. Anyways, it was now time for a decision.

Chase summarised the asked questions and given answers for Coco, whereupon she was given a few seconds to think about her choice.

Finally, our dormitory adviser decided, "it was a hard decision, but I think I take … number three!"

Chase triggered some artificial applause. "OK, Coco, this is your prize …"

Michael grabbed Walter and guided him to the door.

The lamer from San Diego asked, "so, now we get to my step daughter?"

Michael shook his head. "soon enough!" He opened the door.

Now Coco and Walter were standing face to face in the hallway of Maxwell Hall.

Chase introduced them.

Walter wondered what was going on. "Coco nuts? I thought it was about dates?" Apparently, he had mistaken the word "date" as referring to that sweet Arabian fruit growing on palms.

Michael explained, "Walter and Coco, you have now won a candle light dinner over in Nozu's … Saturday night!"

Walter was still a bit confused, as he was a married man, but his marriage had been on the rocks for several years — at least according to Megan.

So maybe a fresh start was the best possible choice for Walter Nichols as well.

* * *

**3.3.5 Dinner At Nozu**

Chase and Michael had arranged a dinner for two in the sushi bar.

Kazu would have left us the kitchen for one night, but Mrs. Lee did not trust us kids.

A little concert for the dinner couple was planned as well.

Chase would have liked Michael play his flute, but the latter was horribly ashamed and reclined.

Fortunately, we had got our philharmonic club, making it easier.

Alas, Mrs. Lee insisted in letting her daughter Daisy sing as well, and thi spelled a lot of trouble.

Megan was convinced of Walter and Coco being a great couple, but she would have thought it a bit gross to play the oboe at their first dinner date, so she left the job to others.

Finally, the choice fell on violoncellist Jennet Novicky and on trianglist Mikey Jay.

Megan was around in the back ground, in order to give her philharmonic colleagues and the other kids valuable hints in the case of being stuck.

Music started filling the air.

Unfotunately, the sound of Daisy's voice was worse than the stench of the skunk that had roamed our campus during the last year.

Coco started sweating.

Chase wanted the orchestra to go slower.

But Meran shook her head.

* * *

Walter is accustomed to that.

Sweating like a cataract is very common in his family.

I guess he had suffered from it as a kid too.

Joshuah, at least, is the most terrible of that sort. When he feels the pressure, he always starts to sweat a deluge. This was especially the case when he was once allowed to present the weather forecast for Walter.

Oh, I tell you, that was so … embarrassing. I have still got the DVD, or you may watch the video on my _Splash Face_ site.

* * *

This calmed us down.

Still, Chase and Michael were not aware of Walter being a married man, and I bet that they bwould otherwise not have arranged that dinner date.

Daisy was disgusted by the sweat and ran away.

This annoyed Mrs. Lee a bit, but she did not stop the whole farce. She had heard that Jen Novicky was soon going to get an internship at a renowned orchestra in Vienna, Austria. This was a potential case for her wall of fame.

Finally, the evening was over.

Of course, Walter was now still going to face his perversely jealous wife Audrey.

But I was sure that Megan had already got a plan for habdling this problem. She had always been a great prankster, and with a new disciple like Piper Peckinpaw, therer was no way to avoid wreaking an insane amount of havoc.

* * *

**3.4 The Scream**

* * *

**3.4.1 Lola's Next Audition**

Lola Martinez was still ambitious enough to go for an Oscar before the age of twenty, and she was ruthless enough to abuse everyone and everything in order to reach this goal.

During these weeks, she had applied for a rôle in a movie by Malcolm Reese, the father of Logan. In this film, to be titled _The Scream_, she was supposed to portray a damsel in distress, who, as suggested by the title, had to scream for help.

Of course there was also a white knight on his steed coming to the rescue of Lola's envisioned character.

The auditions for the male main rôle had not yet been completed, but Lola hoped that he would be a good kisser.

Unfortunately, Lola was still forced to practice a lot, and this involved a lot of screaming. And Lola's screams usually made Nicole startle, causing her to scream as well.

Once both Lola and Nicole had screamed, the whole dormitory hall used to bee alerted and to start to panic.

This, of course, always resulted in an insane amount of turmoil and mayhem.

Stacey had recently dropped her cotton swab sculpture of the White House, a planned gift for the president, when hearing Lola and Nicole scream, and then she had begun weeping piteously, adding to the disaster. And this was even worsse today, as she was appointed with some Dennifer.[3:17]

I wondered about that weird name, and I sensed something fishy about that guy.

Zoey was also appointed with some Danny, and I hoped that it was not the same guy. This was Zoey's first date since the disaster with Chase, and she was extremely nervous. She had accidentally bumped into the guy during one of Lola's practice screams.

* * *

**3.4.2 Bad Danny**

Zoey Brooks and Danny were appointed for cinema.

The movie theatre on our campus was already several years old, and it belonged to the chain of "Première Theater", whose main quarter was in San Diego. Megan's evil step brother Joshuah worked there for aforementioned Helen Baxter, a former Hollywood kid star.

Accompanied by Matthew Palmer Noid, I was walking the campus when I saw Zoey and Danny waiting in the long queue in order to buy the tickets.

We knew neither the family name of the creep nor the full first name. None of us had ever seen him on the campus. And both of us sensed that his intentions with Zoey were dishonest and decadent, in other words, nothing that Zoey needed in her current phase, just a few weeks after the disappointment by Chase Matthews and his fake girlfriend Rebecca Martinez.

By the way, Matthew had got some important news for me.

During the last academic year, I had heard about Mr. Quest, a minor teacher at james K. Polk middle school , who, through fantasy rôle playing, had turned interested in magical healin, and tried to prove that it was possible. Matthew and I had tried to get into contact with him, both during the last year and even now, but it had been in vain.

Matthew had recently asked Edmond Bigby, aforementioned student at James K. Polk, or, rather, former student, for some information.

The reason for the failed attempts of contacting Quest — according to Bigby —, was the fact that this teacher was no longer living in Los Angeles and teaching at James K. Polk. He had started following his true vision, and he was now preparing for a career as a spiritual healer. In order to do so, he had been looking for a decent master, and the one he had heard about was a certain Kreuftlva in New York City. Thus Quest was now living in New York. He had accepted a fairly low wage job at Mad Style, one of the biggest and most renowned fashion labels in the world. His task consisted in fumbliung with toners for a fotocopy machine. But the upside, of course, was his vicinity to aforementioned Kreuftlva.

Now, that was one name I had never heard before, and Matthew Palmer Noid was not really able to make any sense of it either.

We concluded that it had been sort of a magic name.

Anyways, I sensed that Kreuftlva, whoever that was, would have been very useful for me to know, either. I needed to find a way to control most of my abilities in a more reliable manner than I was currently able to, lest it would be — or so I guessed — impossible on the long run to avoid wreaking severe havoc and mayhem.

Anyways, Zoey and Danny had now disappeared inside the cinema building, and I was sure that the new guy was absolutely bad for Zoey, and he would only abuse and corrupt her in the most shameful manner, much more than Chase would have done, at least not without the instigation of someone like Lola Martinez. But it was so hard to warn the blond Mary Sue, who was so desperately determined to get over the ugly scene with Chase by jumping into the next disgusting adventure with someone she had got not only absolutely no reason to trust, but also nothing in common.

Now Matthew had also got other news from Santa Clarita.

During the last three years, Edmond Bigby and his friends Jennifer Mosely and Simon Nelson Cook had worked on a school survival guide for middle school kids.

The first DVD of this product was now ready to be distributed.

And Edmond had given Matthew one example for us middle school kids at Pacific Coast Academy to watch carefully.

* * *

**3.4.3 Stacey's Disappointment**

The fear of Zoey's Danny being the same as Stacey's Dennifer had not been justified.

_Dennifer_ was a weird name, anyways, it sounded like a mixture of _Danny_ and _Jennifer_.

Anyways, Dennifer was the typical shallow minded tall blond rake. Why, pray tell, was he even interested in someone like Stacey Dillsen? No shallow rake was interested in girls talking with a penetrant lisp, and whose hobbies are yoga, astronomy, and sculpting.

In other words, the whole thing stank more fishy than the waste bins of Nozu after several days.

Dennifer was most certainly only using Stacey in order to spy on the campus or something like that.

I was reminded of last year's secret mission by Officer David Alejandro alias André Chaumont, the "husband" of Monique Chaumont from Paris.

Needless to say, many other girls were hankering after Dennifer, as soon as he passed by them, randomly or not did not matter.

This was very hard to0 bear for Stacey who had hoped for a boy all for herself, and who was just disappointed.

* * *

**3.4.4 The Rôle**

At least all the screaming practice had not been in vain.

Unfortunately, Lola had almost lost her voice after screaming too much, but a little hand laying had fixed the whole trouble for Lola.

However, one of her competitors had been Camille Roberts, a cousin of Quinn Pensky, and this caused a bit of trouble between Lola and Quinn.

The male star, a white knight on his steed, would be portrayed by one Spencer Danforth[3:18] from Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, a renowned good kisser.

Lola was now looking totally forward to the practice of the salvation scene.

* * *

**3.5 The Precious Trophy**

* * *

**3.5.1 Privileges Of Football Stars**

As we have alreasy seen, the football team of Pacific Coast Academy was in the centre of our sponsors' interest.

For example, Blix and Pear had spent dozens of thousands of bucks in our school, and of course they expected a lot of positive publicity in turn.

The football players's uniforms did not only portray our crest animal, videlicet the stringray, but also logos of our greatest sponsors.

Malcolm Reese and his movie corporation did not have a logos to be portrayed on the rops and pants of the players, but he had announced to make a movie about our victorious team, and this meant especuially the story of no other than quarterback Vince Blake.

Even without a coach, they a had been able to make it into the state finals, simething unpreceded in the history of Pacific Coast Academy.

Of course, the key pint had been opening the school for girls, leading ultimately to one strong homegrown cheerio squad, with columns like Melanie Puckett, Tasha Misa, Rebecca Martinez, and other girls.

The sponsors' distinguished focus on the possibility of winning the popular trophy for the state championship lead to a bunch of privileges the football players enjoyed in order to be able to prepare better for the big goal.

But of course the school administration dis not mean that they wanted to promote jocks failing badly in the academic classes due to their additional training. For that reason, minimum marks were requiredin order to be granted the aforementioned privileges of passes to skip regular classes.

This was not an easy condition for all those mindless chocks to fulfill.

* * *

**3.5.2 The Girl Eater**

Football players, especially important and successful ones, were particularly popular among girls.

This was of course most relevant in the case of Vincent Blake, the absoluet girls' darling at Pacific Coast Academy.

Unfortunately, this implied that not only the natural fuyture wives of football quarterbacks, videlicet the cheerleaders, were hankering after him, but also a bunch of girls that definitely should never even think about it.

Some of them were totally deprecated by Vince, such as Stacey Dillsen due to her most penetrant lisp.

Stacey had even built a cotton swab model of a football for Vince, in order to impress him after his training sessions.

The evil jock's reaction was one of using the swab ball exactly as he would have used a real one. He kicked te gift, amking it shatter and burst into microscopic smithereens, just like Stacey's heart … again!

But most girls were not a problem for the reckless jock and rake, and that was totally terrible.

Lola Martinez, for example, was definitely hankering after Vince in the most decadent manner. Of course, she had aslo got a crush on Spencer Danforth, but the filming of _The Scream_ had not even started, and there was still some chance that the rake would turn down the pretty Latina for someone else.

Another victim of Vincenmt Blake's fake charms was Zoey Brooks. She was still in a miserable mood because of having been treated like dirt by Chase, and because of having been dumped for no reason by aforementioned Danny, of whom nobody at Pacific Coast Academy had heard befor ethe start of Lola's screaming activities, and of whome nobody had heard ever after, and would not do so for quite some time.

Kelly Peckingpaw was another fangirl of Vimncent Blake. As a member of the school newspaper quad, she was hell bent on making a big interview with the idol before the big matches, and to publish his authorised biography after the ultimate victory.

* * *

**3.5.3 Unhealthy Snacks**

Zoey Brooks was totally worried about the many sugar-coated snacks sold on the campus, especially by the vendor machines.

This was especially due to the problems of Dustin Brooks, and also Sandy Baldwin.

As aforementioned, Dustin was totally addicted to gummi worms, but also to coloured sugar balls.[3:19]

Megan Parker loved various kinds of Japanese candy.[3:20] That sort of snack was sold by Kazu and Mrs. Lee over in Nozu.

Other kids had maybe got other preferences, but the problem, at least according to Zoey brooks, was always the same.

Unfortunately, the school administration was not willing to listen to the words of the blond Mary Sue. According to Dean Rivers, the school was making a lot of bucks by selling unhealthy snacks on the campus, .

So, the school's administration was going to make money at the cost of the pupils' health?

Maybe the parents of many of us kids would have been very much interested in hearing words like those.

The headmaster had been playing with a miniature pool table, said to be a gift from his son in law, during Zoey's whole visit, and that iimplied that he had not been concentrating enough on Zoey's plans.

This reminded me of Quinn's plans of building the perfect billiard droid in order to solve a classic billiard problem automatically. Their first official attempt was scheduled within the next weeks.

Wayne had been working hard on the deployment of microcameras and other microelectronic devices.

Quinn and Mindy, on the other hand, were working on the fine mechatronics.

Was it possible for them to build a robot for those miniature pool tables and balls? The cue sticks were just tooth pick sized, and the balls were of course even smaller, but, on the upside, the distances on the table were so much smaller …

Well, I did not really understand so much about the mechanics of billiard balls, such as backspin draw shots, massé shots, bow shots, and so on.

But I sensed the possibility of Quinn betting with Dean Rivers, and, in the case of winning the bet, he would have to listen to Zoey's suggestion.

Well, this would have been a nice dream, bt Zoey and Quinn were still at odds with each other, and it was hard to imagine that Quinn would do something in order to please her former friend.

* * *

**3.5.4 Similar Case At James K. Polk**

Watching the DVD that Matthew Palmer Noid had been gifted by Edmond Bigby from Santa Clarita.

Jennifer Mosely's favourite snack, fruity cereal bars, had been abandoned by their perversely evil vicel principal Crubs and replaced with sugar coated donuts.[3:21]

The help of former principal Pal and an organised protest in the hallways had finally forced the decadent vice principal to change his mind.

But was Zoey able to organise a similar action here on our campus?

Given that too many kids were addicted to junk candy, it was had to convince them to follow Zoey's activity.

This was especially the case for Nicole Bristow and Dustin Brooks, two total lovers of sugar balls, and especially the latest snack, bibbles.[3:22]

* * *

**3.5.5 The Mean Chater**

One night, Chase Matthews had returned from the hall that used to host his classes in American history. An there he had caught in flagrante delicto Vincent Blake copying the upcoming test from the drawer of Mr. Toplin, their teacher for history, by taking pictures of it with his cellular phone with integrated photo camera.

Of course, Vince had been cheating in order to pass the aforementioned criteria required for being granted privileges.

Clearly, this sort of cheating was against the rules of Pacific Coast Academy, and the consequences for such a misdeed, if known to the school's administration, were a suspencion for several weeks from all activities of the school, including of course the upcoming football matches.

This would have been beyond any doubt a severe setback for the school's football squad, amking it almost impossible to win the state championships.

There was little doubt concerning the fact that denouncing Vince and destroying the great dream in the history of Pacific Coast Academy and its football team would not have made Chase Matthews exactly more popular among many students.

Chase's room mates tried to dissuade the bushy dork from wreaking havoc by denouncing the quarterback unto Dean Rivers or Mr. Toplin. This was especially motivated by their own membership in the football team. They had worked hard for reaching the state playoffs, and they imagined that there was no chance of making i any further without Vincent Blake.

Thus Chase seemed to have to come to a compromise, and he wanted to denounce the rude jock only in the case that he was up to continue cheating as usual.

Anyways, it was like a battle against wind mills, just like erstwhile Don Quixote in De Cervantes' novel or romance, whatever.

Zoey, still mad at Chase foir having abused Rebecca as a false girlfriend, was really angry when she heard that Chase had started spreading rumours about Vince cheating in the history test. "Chase is just jealous because he has not got the girls and the fame that Vincxe has," Now she had started even making fun of Chase.

* * *

**3.5.6 Talking To Ashley**

If anyone was able to talk some sense into Vincent Blake, it would probably be his little sister Ashley.

Vince was not only her elder brother, but also her body guard. He had not chosen to do so, but their mother had decided to arrange it like this.

Three years ago, Ashley had got a different gorilla named Hector.[3:23]

But the uncomely jock had once stuffed unconscious Ashley into a trash bin, as he had been annoyed by her. This was enough to get Hector fired on site.

Thence it was very hard for the parents of Vince and Ashley to trust some arbitrary guy rom outside the family, and Vince was the closest choice to even think about, although Ashley had not liked the concept.

Their brother Myles[3:24] had been her personal assistant, or whatever that meant, for quite some time, and that had been turned out as awkward and disastrous, for whatever reason.

But the little diva was now very proud of her elder brother, and this made it tough to negotiate with her. "Yiu think it is easy for him fulfilling all the expectations of Pacific Coast Academy?"

I shrugged. I had not really thought it easy, but, then again, I had never seen any good in sports like football.

Ashley also complained that there were many more cheaters at this school. It would have been so unfair punishing Vince only. "He has worked hard for his career, no matter what people here try to fool you into believing." Basically, she was right, it was all the culpa odf the sponsors of Pacific Coast Academy, and their perverted expectations.

I sensed that there were more other scandals going on, such as doping and bets, many of them committed by some of our sponsors, of course in the secret and behind the back of the public. I tried to get Ashley to look at least for a new bodyguard. "Following you around to your public presentations takes so much time that he should better invest in tutoring lessons."

Ashley glared at me. She did not want to have a gorilla again like that Hector guy.

I sighed. "How about a female body guard?"

There were certainly a lot of them.

But Ashley had not yet thought about girls being that tough, although she had already seen Rebecca practising martial combatr skills.[3:25]

Maybe there was a sign of hope?

Ashley was in any case really grumpy.

* * *

**3.5.7 Confessions Of A Cheater**

The next day, Dean Rivers had called us via loud speaker, making us gather in the campus square during the big recess.

And here we were, awaiting the reasons.

Dean Rivers showed up, followed by Vincent Blake, the mot popular and successful quarterback of our football team — ever!

Most of us expected one last call for support for the impending state finals of the football team.

The applause of the pupils was great, even before Vince had started talking.

And of course the annoying sound of screaming fangirls filled the air like nobody's business, making it hard to understand even your own words.

But fortunately, Vince was equipped with a cool microphone 5that had been in invented by Wayne Gilbert for situations like this one.

Dean Rivers told us to pay attention. "Vincent Blake has got a very important announce to make."

The expectations were growing from one moment to the other.

Finally, Vince started to talk.

* * *

Dear fellow pupils, dear staff of Pacific Coast Academy,

I know that you are waiting for an enthusiastic speech about the imprending state finals.

You all expect me to be the captain of the victorious stingray team.

I am sorry that I have to disappoint you, because …

* * *

Impatience grew in the audience.

Vince conctinued,

* * *

I have cheated in a test in history. I have copied the answers from Mr. Toplin's folder.

This did not seem much to me, as cheating is not uncommon here.

But I have to retire form the team for a while and spend the required time in suspension.

* * *

Dean Rivers himself was apparently surprised as well. He had not heard of anything like that during the last seasons.

Some onlookers shouted something on the lines of "you can't be serious!"

Fangirls started being bitterly disappointed, especially Kelly Peckingpaw who wanted to win the Pullitzer Prize for her authorised biography of Vincent Blake.

I had sensed something like that coming, but I had not really expected Ashley to be able, or even willing to dissuade her elder brother from further cheating.

Consternation spread on the campus.

Dean Rivers choked in particular when Vincementioned the factthat cheating was not unusual here. He wondered how much Vincent knew exactly.

After Vince's voluntary confession, there was no way for Dean to simply get rid off Vince by expelling him.

It was clear that the school administration was involved in some other forms of cheating, something on the lines of doping, bet scandals, or bribery.

Of course it was not possible for me to find out any details just by grabbing a few of the thoughts of our headmaster about the quarterback's confessions.

But our school journalists should investigate the situation more closely, and this was valid both for _Daily Stingray_, whose new primary redactor was Kelly Peckinpaw, and for _PCA News Channel_, still the domain of Jeremiah Trottman.

* * *

**3.5.8 No Vince — No Chance**

* * *

** Rocking The Cheerio Squad**

Of course, the hopes of winning the state championships were dwindling rapidly without our quarterback.

So was there a chance left?

Apparently, the interest of teh students had been starting to wane, just like the hopes of almost everyone.

The cheerio girls had to fight against the lack of a decent cheerio trainer. In addition, they were annoyed by lame taped music they had to do with.

Of course Megan's and Nevel's music was not complying with the taste of Trinidad Vega or Mandy Franklin.

So, as a last parachute, Megan decided to call her brother Drake in order to whip up the cheerios with some live rock music.

Knowing about our cheerio girls, Drake would not hesitate a moment agreeing on working together with them.

* * *

** Dangerous Substitute**

Of course no amount of cheerleading was able to fill in the gap left by Vince Blake.

Certainly, there was a substitute quarterback, but hw was needed elsewhere in the team, and this was just moving the gap from one spot to the other.

But finally, someone showed up in order to claim a place in the football team. Still, the mystery canditate was hidden underneath the usual heavy football player's outfit. First, the hidden athlete insisted in giving a prove of abilities and fitness.

The leathern eggs were flying straight, across the high transversal bar. Dummy foes were smashed left and right. New campus records in several disciplenes were broken.

Everyoe voted in favour of the mystery postulant as the new quarterback.

Fortunately, there was no regular coach foir the football team, as Coach Keller had not been yet appropriately replaced.

Officially, Mr. Bender was assigned temporarily as a team manager, but he did not understand enough about football to qualify as a coach.

But now it was the right time for the unmasking of the mystery football player.

The revelation was due in five … four … three … two …

The mask fell, exhibiting Dana Cruz as the postulant for the quarterback's vacancy.

This revelation shocked many an onlooker, but the football team had to grasp each and every other straw,

* * *

**3.5.9 Vincent's Tutors**

I had tried to figure why Vince hads readily given up. Had Ashley Blake told him something?

The little diva grinned. "Oh, Vince … he will also resign from his job as my body guard. This should give him enough time for tutoring. And his assigned tutors are Zoey Brooks and Lola Martinez. So Vince doesn't lose at all."

OK, I should have known that the womaniser had made some sort of an advantageous deal of the whole thing.

* * *

**3.5.10 The Last Foe**

Only one team was now left standing betweenm the stingray football squad and the big trophy for the state championship.

And, once more in our life, this team belonged to no other than James K. Polk High School in Santa Clarita.

Some of their team members were already known to us from variopus other events, such as aforementioned spring fling, middle school dance, basketball middle school state championship, robot battle, and many more.

Their quarterback was master bully William Loomer, who was accompanied, just as usual, by his pals Buzz Rodriguez and Jerome Crony alias Olivary Biallo.

Seth Powers, whose throws had already annoyed our basketball team, was now even more adorable in football.

We were also aware of Mike Grudzielanek, a guy who really mowed them all down.

Naming them all would take too much efforts.

But it was obvious that there was no easy wy to defeat them, especially without Vincent Blake.

* * *

**3.5.11 Ultimate Training**

In the beginning, the team members were sceptic about Dana Cruz, although she had proven herself more than powerful enough for teh duties of a quarterback.

There had never been a female football player at Pacific Coast Academy, but this was of course also due to the fact that there had not yet been enough opportunities, given that it was only the third yearof coeducation.

Even worse, Dana's duel with the male bullies seemed to exhaust them totally, as they had been mislead by Logan into believing that Dana would not stand a chance against them, while it was clearly the other way round.

Kelly Peckinpaw was still trying to get as many interviews as possible for the school newspaper. She thought about writing the story about our successful team, after the final victory, and becoming renowned for this, Of course she would have preferred writing Vincent's authorised biography, but she knew that the public interest in Vince had been waning drastically since his confessions. And now she had heard about potential scandals. This made her thoroughly curious. She would never have thought about bribery or doping in high school football, but the middle school girl had been turning a lot more careful. Needless to say, she had heard me mentioning those words in a conversation with Matthew Palmer Noid. But was she courageous enough to go through the troubles of reveiling a potentially scandalous story?

Vince was still sidelined. But he watched his training pals from the sidelines while getting tutored by his new teachers.

Today, it was time for lessons in English literature, to be taught by Lola Martinez.

The pretty latina started. "OK, Vince, this term's subject are the dramas of William Shakespeare."

Vince moaned, "Shakespeare?" he yawned, declaring how little he was apparently interested.

Lola continuiued, "the best way to understanding the life and ntimes of William Shakespeare is understanding the kissing scenes in a play like _Romeo And Juliet_." She panted for excitement, "So we start by discussing this scene …"[3:26] She opened a booklet containing Shakespeare's texts. Then she passed Vince a booklet of the same sort. "I read Juliet's text … it is all in pink. You read Romeo's text … all in steel blue. OK?"

Vince nodded enthusiastically. "I think I need to reread the text several times until understanding Shakespeare."

Lola smiled. "Yeah, that would not be bad."

Dana kicked leathern eggs across the field, in a way that made them hard to catch.

Unfortunately, the attentionm of the players was increasingly directed towards Vince and Lola.

Lola read, "Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake."

Vince replied, "Then move not, while my prayers effect I take." He brushed Lola's lips with his own. Then he panted in order to continue. "Thus from my lips, by thine, my sin is purged."

The onlooking players started melting in awe, envying their suspended pal for his punishment.

Zoey was appointed with Viince in order to tutor him in history and social studies. She was annoyed because she had to make it to the football field in order to tutor Vince. And now she had to watch Vince and Lola making out in fronrt of her eyes.

Lola purred. "Then have my lips the sin that they have took."

Vince sighed. "Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again."

The two of them smooch once more.

Furiously jealous Zoey Brooks almost had to start puking. But she feigned being cool with it.

* * *

**3.5.12 The Big Match**

* * *

** Entrance Of The Stingray Squad**

The big day had begun.

Our team was really down, though, and not just because of the lack of Vincent Blake, and the lack of a proper coach, although that situation was certainly better than having a coach like Keller, who was more interestied in his sushi than in the squad.

Dana Cruz had never played together with the rest of the team, and she had only prctised on her own during the last days.

The entranceof the opposing teams was accompanied by Fučik's _Entrance Of The Gladiators_, performed by Megan Parker and two girls from James K. Polk known simply as the Oboe Twins.

The umpire had also arrived. It was one Dave Stewie.[3:27]

And now it was time to start the match, as everyone was ready.

Dana Cruz was typoed as Daniel Cruz, or maybe some decadent and corrupted by some creep that did not believe in football playing girls.

In any case, the opponents all believed in Dana being a boy.

I sensed that some of the most reckless perverts, such as William Loomer, would have refused to play agaiost girls, as they could not bear losing to one, or they feared getting booed for beating one.

Our cheerios were about to start their program, but, unfortunately, it was already obvious that Drake Parker would be a tad bit late.

The hostile cheerios, still lead by Mercedes Griffin alias Missy Meany, were really loud.

Edmond Bigby tried to support them with some guitar music, but his attempts would turn out as a bit too feeble. The support from his friend Simon nelson Cook and his triangle was feeble.

Grudzielanak broke through, and itwas too late for our our team to stop him, especially as Logan Reese and Michael Barret were accusing each other.

Logan insisted in only having to go for moves that allowed him to impress the girls. "You are here for the dirt work!"

Michael deemed this unfair. "But I need to impress Lisa Perkins. She is watching me today!"

Logan growled, "hey! I am the one to pay, so shut up!"

Michael nodded. "OK, I will shut up."

The match had to go on, being controlled all but completely by the team from Santa Clarita, with William Loomer, Seth Powers, and Mike Gridzielanek in hitherto unbeknownst top form.

This, of course, also lead to an increased activity of Mercedes Griffin and her fellow cheerio girls.

Drake was known to be on his way, but would he arrive in time in order to boost our cheerios?

* * *

** The Secons Half**

Drake had actually made it, but there had been little time left to practise with the cheerio girls.

Our team was already down by three touchdowns' worth of points, and many had already lost their hopes.

Finally, it was time for Drake to whip the cheerio squad.

Rebecca and Tasha took their pompons in order to swing them rhythmically.

Drake's guitar started to fill the aire with its sound.[3:28]

* * *

We are Stingray gladiators  
We all know to stand and fall  
We are going top make you see  
Both defeat and victory.  
When the wolves are on the field  
We need every sword and shield  
And the cheerleading girls dance  
To Drake's guitar performance.

* * *

The cheerios tripled their activity, especially Rebecca Trina Vega y Martinez, who was apparently lusting for Drake Parker.

Makeout Mandy Franklin decided to put Melanie Puckett into the top position of the pyramid.

Tasha Misa agreed wholeheartedly.

Everything worked now a whole lot better.

* * *

Kelly Peckinpaw's violin,  
Megan Parker's solo oboe.  
Mikey Jay's triangle clang  
Nevel's piano's perfect flow.

* * *

Our team started turning more and more aggressive, making our foes wonder what was going on all of a sudden.

But not much later, Dana initiated a move that involved Logan Reese, Duke Blatzberg, and Michael Barret, the latter scoring the well deserved touchdown.

Unfortunately, Michael Barret wasted the bonus kick.

But there was still enough time left.

William Loomer turned more and more nervous.

Grudzielanek appeared totally neutralised.

But time was running out on us.

Jeremiah Trottman, life reporter of the match for the Californian high school sports channel, did not really know what to say. "I have never come across anything like that in fifty football matches I have hitherto been responsible for."

The next minute saw a collision of the quarterbacks, Dana Cruz and Billy Loomer. Unfortunately, the helmets had been a bit scratched and contorted, forcing both of athletes to lift them for a few moments in order to correct everything according to the rules.

The umpire was fairly strict here.

This way, Dana's curly caramel hair was exposed. She grinned. "OK, Loomer, you really think you may win this match?"

Billy Loomer screamed hysterically, "a girl!" This was the worst that could have happened unto him. All his hard earned respect as a tough bully would be lost, for aforementioned reasons.

His pals Crony and Buxx were no less consternated, and they ran away from him.

Billy growled, "I am still a man … a manly man! I may crack coconuts with my bare head, no helmet required."

Dana grinned. "Oh, I see … And you think that **that** would be tough?"

Billy Loomer shrugged.

The helmets were ready for reuse, and the game was now to be continued.

Knowing that there was a girl in our team, Loomer and some other creeps were still consternated.

This made it easier for Logan Reese to score the remaining points necessary in order to win the championship, commented aloud by our cheerios.

* * *

** Coconut Cracker**

Our winning team was now honoured by some officials from Sacramento, the capital of California.

Dana was still awaiting the submissiove handshake of William Loomer. Only a few minutes later did she see him approaching, accompanied buy Buzz and Crony.

Loomer explained, "some weird almost baldheaded teacher from your school has gladly left us his coconuts."

"Not quite voluntarily," remarked Crony.

Loomer shut up his pal. |Who cares, now I may demonstrate that I am still the toughest!" He put the coconut onto the ground in front of himself, then he kneeled down, and he started headbutting it thrice. Then his head started to bleed."

Dana looked at the nut. "OK, I may see some little cracks."

Loomer sighed, as he had just been exaggerating a bit. "It has always worked a lot better with walnuts."

Dana shrugged. Then she headbutted another coconut. She did not achieve in breaking it either, but at least it had got some clearly visible cracks.

Loomer looked astonished.

Dana sighed. "OK, neither of us has really been able to crack the nuts, but both of uss have demonstrated our toughness." She helfd her aching forehead. "You still seem to bleed. Are you really feeling OK?"

Loomer gasped. "Thanks for the concern?"

Crony wanted to call for the medic, Dr. Hollywood,[3:29] the hotel medic from Palmwoods.

Dana shook her head. "We don't need a medic. I know something that will make us feel a lot better and heal a lot faster in almost no time."

The onlooking guys from James K. Polk shrugged.

"This!" declared Dana Cruz, grabbing Willian Loomer and pulling him into some hearty kiss.

The onlookers moaned for excruciating awe.

Loomer purred ecstatically. "Yeah, it seems to work. Wow!"

* * *

** Trina Hankers After Drake**

At the same time, Drake Parker had started getting his instrument and his belongings together. All of a sudden, he was assaulted from behind by Trinidad Rebecca Vega,

The busty Latina demonstrated hitherto unbeknownst martial skills in pinning the rock idol to the ground. "Hey, you can't escape me. You are now my boyfriend, all mine!"

Drake was still consternated. "Erm ..." He stammered "why is this so?"

Trina pluckered her lips. "Come on, kiss me, I know that you want me!"

Well, this was probably not a lie. I sensed that Drake was not against to making out with Trina, but being restricted to her as his only girlfriend was definitely not his style. He would be bored by her sooner or later. In addition, he could not bear the fact that Trina was a very robust and athletic girl.

Megan would later on tell me that Drake had already once had problems with a girlfriend named Lucy with similar qualities, minus Trinidad's most annoying demeanour.[3:30]

Drake had been erroneously believing that girls had to be physically weaker than boys. Of course in comparison with Trinidad this was absolutely not the case.

Lucy and Drake had broken up after Lucy had pulled pounches in a wrestling fight with Drake in which he wanted to demonstrate male strength.

Summing it up: While Trinidad's careless and arrogant demeanour was certainly a great match for Drake, her singing skills were no match for his expectations as an aspiring rock legend, and her martial skills were a threat for his stupid view of girls as weaklings. So while she made Drake enjoy their current makeout session, she also scared him for the rest of his life, well, at least for quite a few weeks, if not months, to come.

Michael Barret had been playing especially in order to impress aforementioned Lisa Perkins.

But so far, the latter was only interested in cheering for the stingray football squad in general instead of watching out for Michael barret in particular, and this fact made Michael a real bit desperate.

* * *

** Rendering The Trophy**

It was now time for rendering the precious and popular trophjy un to the winning team and its captain, Dana Cruz. Alas, it was not possible to find them any longer. Dana Cruz had run away together with her new lover, William Loomer, quarterback of the team of the foes.

And this was by no means the only affair going on between a pupil of Pacific Coast Academy and one of James K. Polk.

Quinn Pensky and Simon Nelson Cook were discussing the possibility of building artificially intelligent robots playing American football. There was already a league for robots playing association football, so why not for American style footbal, too? They were certainly aware of the fact that this would be infinitely much more comnplicated than soccer robots, as American football was played with the whole body, while the rules for soccer prohibited playing the ball with the arms, just to name one bvasic difference. But for geeks like Quinn and Cookie, not even the sky was the limit.

Two years ago, Logan Reese and Mercedes Griffin alias Missy Meany had already been somewhat involved.

During the whole match, it had been obvious for me that Mercedes was living with split feelings. On the one hand, she was totally addicted to Logan, on the other hand, she feared him to be both hotter and richer. Bu, after all, she was a "wolf" in the sense of a student at James K. Polk High, and thus supposed to cheer for her own team. But her heart could not help beating for Logan Reese, no matter what.

And like in the case of Logan Reese, I was more and more secure in the knowledge that naither Logan nor Missy were human beings, but, rather, monsters of some sort, though it was not obvious what kind of beasts, probably vampires.

Now the two of them were standing face to face and lusting for each other, but unwilling to admit to it, especially not in the public. But they were equally unable to fulfilling their team duties, due to being distracted by each other.

The chairman of the committee for high school football in California was still waiting for the victory team to line up, but half of the team was missing. So he simply gave the cup to Dean Rivers. "Do with it whatever you want to!"

Megan Parker and Nevel Papperman played our school's anthem.

Many of us kids still did not understand it, but they were basically able to sing along anyways, especially Lola Martinez due to her Latina heritage.

Zoey Brooks was a teensy bit dazed. Two years ago, she had encountered Jerry Crony out in the moonlight and been dancing with him, pretending unwittingly to be his moon goddess. She had only retained some sticker he had dropped. During the last two years, she had on and off wondered aboout the mystery guy. The sticker had demonstrated that it had not been all but a dream, or mybe even — with the words of Edgar Allan Poe — a _dream within a dream_. I had tried sometimes to tell her, but she refused to listen because she had preferred to have been dreaming of someone that was impossibly real, although the dropped item, still in her hands, proved the contrary.

The sticker depicted a waning moon and a lady remotely in Zoey's likeness, but with strawberry blond hair. It was meant to be moon goddess Artemis. There were many different pictures of that goddess, only few of them resembling Zoey as this one.

And now Zoey spotted Jerome Crony wearing an apparently handmade shirt with exactly the same picture.

Zoey was still not exactly willing to believe that she had danced with a reckless bully, and she had really enjoyed it. She totally wished that it had not been real, but the hand made shirt and the sticker told a different story. She was really struck by this revelation and not sure what to do. But she knew very well that she was unable to ignore everything.

I wondered what she was going to do during the following days, weeks, and months. It was clear for me that she was unable to continued pretending the moonlight dance from two years ago had been nothing but a nice dream that was better left behind.

* * *

**3.5.13 The Ultimate Celebrations**

While oour team, at least those members who had notr been totally distracted by the end oif the match, had already received its official honours from the hands of the responsible committee and its agents, there was of course also a celebrtation on oour campus.

Even those pupils who had not been in the football arena to watch our team had been informed by Jeremiah Trottman's channel.

The philharmonic club of our school was now rigged and ready for performing the famous ode of victory from Giuseppe Verdi's most famous grand opera _Aida_, according to Megan Parker the grandest of all operas.

Jennet Novicky had een forced to retune her violoncello, unlike Piper Peckinpaw whose instrument was always readied.

Like many others, I had to wonder how Piper had been able to achieve all that. She was in about all teams and clubs, and she was on all honour rolls.

But this was not my business for now.

Kelly Peckinpaw was a bit late, because she had been working on her report for the _Daily Stingray_. She was really in doubt whether to include certain facts, as will be seen below.

Finally, great music filled the air.

* * *

Gloria! Gloria! Gloria!  
Gloria al Dean!  
Gloria! Gloria! Gloria!  
Inni aliziam!  
Gloria al Dean!

* * *

These lines apparently hailed Dean Rivers by means of solemn hymns.

But I knew very well that Megan meant this a bit sarcastical.

The tune continued.

* * *

S'intrecci il loto al lauro  
Sul crin dei vincitori!  
Nembo gentil di fiori  
Stenda sull' armi un vel!

* * *

Probably not many of us kids uderstood tye words, but these lines commanded us to splice winner's crowns from laurel and lotus, and to let a gentle cloud of flowers veil the weapons.

Dana Cruz growled, because she did not want to veil anything, quite the contrary. She had already veiled her femaleness during almost the whole match, and now she had turned totally impatient.

* * *

Danziam, fanciulle della PCA,  
Le mistiche carole,  
Come d'intorno al sole  
danzano gli astri in ciel!

* * *

These lines commanded us girls of Pacific Coast Academy to dance the mystic carols in the likeness of the stars' dance around the sun.

Inspite of not understanding them, a bunch of the kids had started dancing carols, anyways, and that even before this stanza. Zoey was eve n a sort of a ringleader here. But her thoughts did not revolve around the sun, as suggested by the song, but around the moon, and around Jerome Crony, for whome she had been, and — according to my sixth sense — still was a moon goddess, addictive but aloof.

The song went on and on, and finally the most well known purely instrumental part of the ode of victory filled the air.

Of course we did not have any lotus or laurel at our disposal, but there was some sort of a winners's crown. This oone had been made by Stacey Dillsen, though, ad it was fabricated from cotton swabs and white glue.

Unfortunately, Dana showed little appreciation for the result of Stacey Dillsen's great efforts. More precisely, she kicked it away with her feet.

This made the cotton swab princess cry yet another cataract of tears.

Lola Martinez even rubbed salt into Stacey's wounds.

So, while the whole party celebrating the victory in the state championship was a brilliant event on our campus, it was unable to veil the whole antheap of troubles that were still lurking underneath,

* * *

**3.5.14 Doubts And Shadows**

As aforementioned, Dean Rivers had been allergic to any attempt and effort by Zoey Brooks to replace unhealthy snacks with healthier ones, such as fruit cereal bars.

Some of the snacks sold by our vendor machines, the coffee cart, the pubs, and at the cafeteria were really hard to find elsewhere in California.

I have already mentioned British bibbles and certain Japanese candy sold at Nozu.

Another popular attraction, especially among football players, were Canadian fatcakes.[3:31]

Also, the Peruvian puff peppers swallowed by Logan and Michael at the beginning of the academic year were not available on the free vegetable market of the country, due to their toxic effects.

Fatcakes were Melanie Puclett's favourite snacks, and the best of them were sold by Schneider's Bakery, but the Canadian variant had been totally unbeknownst to her.

And Kelly Peckinpaw had been doing some researachm, figuring that Japanese candy, at least some of it, was strictly illegal in California, due to health problems no less dangerous than thosed caused by Peruvian puff peppers. And, more than anything else, they were supposed to contain a kind of drug temporarily increasing the physical capacities of its consumers, but, on the long run, promoting certain kinds of debilities that I was not able to understand.

Quinn Pensky was certainly able to examine whether the ones sold here were among the dubious and illegal ones, but she needed to be careful here.

Kelly had also figured some more. "Canadian fatcakes are not only hard to get here in the United States Of America, but their trade is prohibited by some law."

Alas, we needed to distinguish between fatcakes produced in Canada and fatcakes following a certain recipe supposed to originate in Canada. The former were legal as lomng as they conformed with US American grocery laws. The latter were illegal because of violating said laws.

The case of the bibbles was not really a lot better.

So, the question for me was: "Does Dean Rivers, the school administration, or whoever was responsible, deliberately allow for the sale of illegal grocery on our campus? Does he do that in order to improve the abilities of our athletes, gaining an unfair advantage over other teams?"

Those were really severe accusations, and Kelly was better off not to publish them as long as they were based on my speculations only. But the health of many of the students of Pacific Coast Academy was at stake, and thus it would be irresponsible to do nothing in order to put an end to the potential scandal.

* * *

**3.6 The Launchpad Of Careers**

* * *

**3.6.1 Society Of The Silver Hammers**

The Society Of The Silver Hammers were some snobbish club, alias a "Brotherhood" exclusively active at high schools and colleges of coastal southern California, from Santa Barbara to San Diego.

This included in particular the metropolitan complex of larger Los Angeles and Hollywood.

Members recruited as high school kids could look forward to an almost certain continuity into colleges, universities, and the corporal world of that region, and that could as well mean: around the whole world, given the global significance of Hollywood and other economic heavy weights based in Los Angeles.

Many politicians, scientists, artists, financial titans of all sorts, and on and on and on it goes, got their career boosted to a significant degree by their former membership in the Silver Hammer Society.

Needless to say, the most elitary club of the Silver Hammers was also heavily represented at California's most exclusive boarding school, viz. Pacific Coast Academy.

After all, membership in the society was one of the top goals for the majority of the high school kids at Pacific Coast Academy.

Typical high school kids of today were totally full of lofty dreams and foggy illusions.

And the Society Of The Silver Hammers apparently stoked precisely those.

During the first two years of coeducation, the Pacific Coast Academy branch had only recruited boys.

The reason for this had been the lack of known girls among the high school kids at Pacific Coast Academy.

This was about changing.

Girls had ceased being a striking minority. And they were more and more in the focus of the public interest.

There was now no way left around assuming girls into the list of the members of this distinguished society.

* * *

**3.6.2 I Hear Them Knocking**

These days, the elders were reported to roam the campus, armed with a famous silverish looking hammer. They knocked lightly any potential new member, such as Zoey, Lola, Michael, Chase, and many other sophomores.

Chase had refrained from joining though. He hated those clubs for snob creeps. "They are so stupid!"

The description of the society sounded perfect for spoiled dandies like Logan Rese. "Clubs like the Silver Hammers teach losers that they are a diosgrace fro mankind and need to be disposed with."

But the spoiled dandy had wasted his chance by attempting to bribe the elders. He was now abusing Chase's pin, trying to get into the club, anyways, or so much I sensed from his thoroughly perverted thoughts.

Stacey Dillsen had spent a whole night building a cotton swab model of such a hammer, consuming several family packages of swabs and a bucket of fast glue. She had been secure in the knowledge that she would not get rejected by the elders of the Silver Hammers when donating such a perfect model to their show case. When none of the hammer swinging elders had showed up for six hours in order to knock her into the club, she decided turning active and following one of the guys. The hammer was too big for her to carry around, so she had loaded it onto a cotton swab wheelcart with wheels made of cotton swabs. Then she praised gher hammer in the presence of the involuntarily listening elder. "Hey, I am Stacey Dillsen from Swampscott in Massachusetts. My sister Suzanne …"

The recruiter of the society of the silver hammer was totally annoyed, so he turned around like a flash of lightening and hit Stacey Dillsen over the head with the heavy tool, singing angrily, "This old Hammer killed bad Stacey …"

The cotton swab freak squealed piteously before sinking to the floor, passing out.

That was definitely not a nice thing to do, regardless how terrible Stacey's voice had probably sounded in the ears of the evil elder.

Onlooking Lola Martinez applauded the vigorous recruiter and started cheering aloud, "go hammers! Do it again!"

Zoey grabbed Lola. "Hey, that is mean, and most definitely not how a lady is supposed to behave!"

Lola shrugged. "I know … but it is a lot of fun!" She was stoked because she sensed a huge boost of her career as an actress, triggered by her impending membership in this noble club.

Zoey smiled. "It is right, it is really funny."

Nicole Bristow had been knocked as well, although she was not sure how she had deserved it. "But some of the elders are really cute … honestly!" Alas, her bimbo talk was not going to please the elders, was it?

Zoey's third room mate, Ashley Lakefish, had already been knocked, but she was not sure whether to join or not. She sensed that there was something fishy.

But the blond Mary Sue did not want to hear about any objection.

Of course, Dana Cruz had been knocked as well, being the quarterback of the eclatantly successful football team, but she was somewhat grumpy. "You call that a hammer? It is definitely beneath my dignity. Next time, you better use a real sledge hammer, not such a ridiculous baby toy! Or else I will hammer your miserable flesh and bones with my skull. This year, I have almost been able to crack coconuts with it, so you better watch your back! "

* * *

**3.6.3 The New Girl**

A new girl had just arrived on our campus. She went by the name of Sarah Kyla[3:32] and had moved to Pacific Coast Academy in the middle of the year just because her father had got a new job in a pasta factory in Los Angeles, and this way she would be closer to him.

This was a somewhat weird explanation for a move during the winter term. The girl could certaimnly have waited until spring break, which was not all that long to go.

In other words, I sensed that there was something smelly, and there must have been a better explanation for the whole crap.

Mr. Conroy,[3:33] the substitute for Miss Burvitch during this term, had greeted Sarah and then told Quinn to help Sarah to find her room.

Quinn looked aghast. "Sarah, is it you?" She had apparently known the girl before.

Sarah Kyla nodded. "Oh yeah, long time no see … you are Quinn, the majorette?"

Quinn gasped. "No longer … I abandoned that disgusting habit and started to dedicate myself to the world of science." Quinn would have indeed embarrassed by meeting a girl that still knew her as a majorette from the bad old times at Seattle. But last year, as you remember, there had been that conversation with Wayne Gilbert, who had not been any less embarrassed by his past as a fan of some martial artist acting in some old and boring action m movies.

Sarah admitted now to her real reason for coming to Pacific Coast Academy. "I have got a job as a body guard here."

That sounded of course a trifle more interesting.

I only knew of one celebrity at Pacific Coast Academy that was famous enough to get her own body guard, and that was no other than Ashley Blake. Vincent had been forced into getting tutored, and thus he had to leave Ashley in some other gorilla's hands, and Sarah Kyla was that unlucky one. Apparently, they preferred to make this as little known as possible.

* * *

**3.6.4 Slaves**

The postulants for entering the ranks of the Silver Hammers had been gathered last night in some not really well known dark room just a few days after the knocking activities. Like in all those dirty movies, they had been blindfolded and then guided to the meeting hall. This, of course, meant that I had not been with them.

But Ashley Lakefish was now reporting me and Kelly Peckinpaw about the session.

Kelly wanted to write an article about the Silver Hammers in the _Daily Stingray_.

Of course the blindfolding action had had the purpose of making those meetings known as little as only possible.

I totally mistrusted those creeps, because they were abusing elements of the ancient occult cults for thoroughly secular purposes.

Ashley was not supposed to talk about anything, but she had already abandoned her postulancy, deeming it beneath her dignity. "There was some annoying triangle player, worse than Nicole Bristow's disgusting bimbo talk. And the worst of all is still in front of the kids that are stupid enough to participate."

Kelly took busily notes, rigged and ready to fill the columns of the _Daily Stingray_ with more exciting news than after the football finale.

The postulants had been assigned slave jobs, serving the elders of the society for a whole week. Thereupon they would be judged and either admitted or rejected.

Zoey Brooks, for example, was forced to feed the elders thrice a day.

And then Michael Barret was responsible for cleaning their teeth. That was really stupid. When Chase had declared to refuse to participate in all the Silver Hammer nonsense, Michael had feigned to agree with with him. But that had been apparently befor Michael got knocked, whence he had started to look forward to thie secret club. And now he was even ready to go through one week of excessively disgusting humiliation. His one and only reason — and so I sensed — had been that of trying to impress his crush Lisa Perkins with his membership in the club of complete idiots — or at least I did not find any better description of the whole junk. Making a monkey of himself for a girl like was the hugest feebleness and perversity of Michael Barret, and it was very much comparable to the times when Wendy Gellar had made a fool of herself in order to get Drake Parker to reply her crush on him.

Lola Martinez was sentenced to shave the guys from the leading lodge of the Silver Hammer Society.

One of them was in the swimming team, and thus he needed to be shaved and oiled from head to toe including the most disgusting spots of the male body, in order to avoid unnecessary friction slowing him down in the water. Well, Lola would certainly not mind performing such a task if the guys had turned out as good kissers. That was probably what she had been and was still hoping for. Maybe she was right, but if it was not the case, she would be horribly disgusted and disappointed.

Dana was forced to massage the elders of the perverted society, from the neck down to the thighs. She had expected to be treated a lot better than that, in particular as a successful and most celebrated quarterback. Maybe she would release her anger by breaking the rotten and filthy bones of the elders by accident while massaging them. At least she was not responsible for massaging the feet of the elders.

That would be the task of Nicole Bristow who was in charge with manicure and pedicure. This included the wonder ful job of not only massaging the souls of the feet, but al;so of cleaning the smelly spaces between the toes and the dirt underneath the nails, both those of the fingers and those of the toes. before the first secret session, Nicole had rhapsodised in a swoon over the total cuteness of some of the elders. And in addition, she wanted to become a beautician after high school, best one responsible for the cutest of the Hollywood stars such as Lola Martinez. But maybe she would have to rethink her dreams after having to deal with all the filth of the elders.

Logan Reese had actually tried to pass as Chase Matthews, but just a bushy wig had turned out as not enough. For that reason, he had been expelled by the elders on site as a persona non grata. Now he wanted to build his own secret club, the Logan Knights.

* * *

**3.6.5 Protected**

Kelly Peckinpaw had actually written a huge column about the evil club, and just like Ashley Lakefish she had turned into the number one public enemy of the Silver Hammers.

But fortunbately, an obslaught upon those girls had been nullifoied in the last second by a masked avenger showing up in the right moment in the right place.

Now Kelly was filling a whole column with speculations about the secret protector roaming the campus.

I was secure in te knowledge that this avenger was no other than Sarah Kyla. She was not known yet for her martial prowess, and so Kelly did not want to believe me when I suggested to think about the new girl as a potential canditate for that task.

On the other hand, Sarah also tried out for the cheerio squad, although this was hardly likely to succeed, as the team was already complete. But who knew?

In any case, the Silver Hammers knew now that they would not get simply away with everything.

* * *

**3.6.6 Rejects**

One week later, Zoey Brooks and Michael Barret had given up on the whole crap. They had got themselves humiliated for a whole week, just to be told that the postulants had to vote for one of theirs to be rejected and excluded from joining the stupid club.

But Nicole, Lola, and Dana did not folow Zoey's argumentations, and they joined the club of the hammers, anyways.

Logan Reese's own Lions-like club had been a complete failure, too.

Only a few freaks had applied.

Logan had got some test, too, and it consisted in crossing the campus only in undergarment. Most of the freaks had run away in no time, such as Chase Matthews who had only been present at the introductory session of the Logan Knights because he happened to live in the same room where the meeting had taken place, videlicet 148 Maxwell Hall.

Unfortunately, Stacey had applied as well, and the prospects of seeing Stacey in undergarmnent made Logan puke his guts into the next century.

Fortunately, custodian Banville had been one of the postulants, and he had thus been right there in order to clean up after Logan.

Stacey wondered, "does that nmean I am accepted? Please tell me that I am an accepted member of the illustrious society of the Logan Knights!"

But Logan was still pale and unable to talk. In any case, he had given up on this club, at least for the time being.

* * *

**3.6.7 Kreuftlva**

As aforementioned, Mitchell Quest had left California for New York City in order to study spiritual healing under the instruction from Madame Kreuftlva, a really weird name.

I had tried to contact Kreuftlva as well, trying to talk to her about a way to receuve hher instructions and guidance as well, even inspite of living so far way. I had learnt to teleport and similar stuff, but this was still barely controllable,

Would it be necessary for me to go to New York City in order to receive the necessary instructions, just as Mitchell Quest had done?

* * *

**3.7 Charles Galloway**

* * *

**3.7.1 The Oldest Teacher**

Mr. Hotchins[3:34] He had already been a teacher about fifty years ago and he had never been anything but a pain in the tail for our students.

This year, he taught part of the sophomores in national economy, such as Stacey Dillsen, Logan Reese, Dana Cruz, Nicole Bristow, Chase Matthews, Zoey Brooks, and Michael Barret. The old tooter really tortured the kids all over the place with his stupid lessons.

Of course, the students would have preferred Hotchins to leave as soon as possible, but inspite of the significant amount of protests forwarded during the last decades by the alumni, the parents' union, and the students' councils, Leo Bradford held on tight to Hotchins. Of course we were accustomed to many atrocities committed by our landlord, but this one stank worse than any other hitherto beknownst stubbornness of Leo Bradford.

Recently, the filthy creep had insulted Stacey Dillsen for her top, and he had taught nonsense to the kids, making them believe all sorts of nonsense about our economy.

Now some test was ahead of them, and the kids were increasingly desperate.

Especially Zoey needed an A in order to get admitted to the elite program at Harvard Law School or Business School. She knew that she would have been better off as a fashion designer, but she hated the prospects of having to disappoint her parents, who had chosen Pacific Coast Academy for her properly because of the excellent career chances.

And after having failed to make it into the elitarian club of the Silver Hammers

* * *

** National Economy**

So, the lessons taught by Hotchinns were about neational economy, and there was probably the key to Leo Bradford's staunch defense of the evil teacher. As we have seen a few times before, Pacific Coast Academy was sponsored by a group of big players of the US American business world.

Basically — or so Matthew Palmer Noid and I had come to see it — Hotchins was trying to justify the business model of Pacific Coast Academy and oof Leo Bradford, hammering it down into the heads of us students.

For most of the sponsors, Pacific Coast Academy was just a very efficient means of advertising, especially now after the eclatant victory of Dana Cruz and the football team.

The cheerio uniformas and the players' outfits had been chock full of logos of our sponsors, such as Blix Softdrinks, Pear Electronics, Schneider's Bakery, Daka Shoes, and other enterprises.

Matthew Palmer Noid was even supposing that Dean Rivers was not only a high ranking employee of Pacific Coast Academy, but also a shareholder of some sort, and that he was actively participating in the profits made by our sponsors through their usage of the school for their advertising.

Starting with the hidden food scandal, which was still researched busily by Kelly Peckinpaw, I had come to wonder whether Pacific Coast Academy was not just a means of publicity, but also one big money washing plant. In other words, the business run by our sponsor was inappropriate and dangerous.

Of course there was no proof for its dangers, and talking prematurely about a scandal was dangerous.

Fortunately, there would soon be some sort of reinforcement for Kelly's team, and this would help to fight certain scandals caused by the perversely unholy connection of education and national economy.

* * *

**3.7.2 Apples And Kisses**

Meanwhile, Lola Martinez and Quinn Pensky were on a different trip altogether.

The gifted Hollywood diva was strongly convinced of her unconventional interpretation of the _Book Of Genesis_, where Adam is given an apple by his wife or girlfriend Eve, upon the suggestion of some talkative snake: The apple was a test. According to Lola, it was possible to recognise a good kisser from his way of eating an apple.

Of course this way of seeing the passage from the _Old Testament_ was awkward, but definitely not more absurd than the errors promited by the churches that dared to claim to hold the official view.

I will come back to this at some later point.

Quinn liked Lola's interpretation, but she knew of course that her friend's guess was just a guess, and as such it required some thorougfh scientific examination. For that purpose, the geek girl had deviced some experiments that were going to be evaluated by strict statistical methods.

Their first step had been the study of the elders of the Society Of The Silver Hammers. Lola had already identified one of them as a good kisser.

But they needed to do a lot more research in order to fulfill Quinn's strict criteria.

Now they had established a few hidden cameras all over the campus and placed some apples nearby, as baits for the boys. In order to waste the fruits on girls, Quinn had selected places that were most frequently used by boys, such as their lounges, dormitory hallways, and gym rooms.

Lola was a bit impatient, as she wanted to test only the guys taht she supposed to be good kissers.

But Quinn had to tell her that this was absurd. "You need to test a random yet representative variety, and not some biased selection driven by your personal preferences, in order to come to a scientifically valid conclusion."

Lola moaned. But, as we had seen from her makeout practice with Chase Matthews from the previous year, she gave in. "Yeah, I am an actress, I have to be able to follow a script, even if it is absurd." She shuddered. At least she would soon come to trest it on the cast of _The Scream_, aforementioned movie, which was to be shot during the impending summer break. "I am curious about Spencer Danforth, I know that he is a good kisser."

I had seen pictures of said Danforth on the DVD video made by Edmond Bigby, Jennifer Mosely, and Simon Nelson Cook. The girls semed to go crazy for him. This had been especialy the case for Edmond Bigby's insensate crush Suzanne Crabgrass — or so he must have believed. But maybe the boys were needlessly jealous.

Nicole Bristow was very much interested in Lola's theory as well. Back in eighth grade, she had made a list opf bopys with the greatest lips, icluding kissing ability as a criterium.

Quinn made them consider that good kissing did not just depend on lips. But she was nevertheless interested in finding the correlation between Nicole's list of boys with the hottest lips and Lola's apple criterium.

Of course, neither Lola nor Nicole were smart enoug to understand what Quinn meant with expressions like _correlation_, _covariance_, _null hypothesis_, _level of confidence_, and so on.

But this did not prevent Quinn from working on an extension of her theory.

* * *

**3.7.3 The Legend Of A Lost Student**

As already mentioned, Hotchins had been the most feared teacher at Pacific Coast Academy for already fivedecades.

There were many stories about students that had been consternated and intimidated by Hotchins's perverted demeanour, making them commit atrocious deeds.

The most important rumours that were still around comncerned a certain Charles R. Galloway,[3:35] a student of Pacific Coast Academy in the middle of the fifties. According to legend, he had left the campus in terror after having been scolded severely by Hotchins, and he had never been seen again, neither on our campus, nor elsewhere. But the same legend pretended to know where Charles R. Galloway had died and been buried, videlicet in a nearby canyon known as Redstone Gulch.

Of course it was strange that the legend made claims about the lost guy's tomb in the wastelands, although it is also stated that Galloway has never been seen again, neither dead nor alive.

Some of the kids started getting interested in the legend, albeit for a variety of reasons.

Logan Reese, for example, wanted to make a movie based on the legend of legends. Therefore he needed to find a proof for the whole story involving the tomb at Redstone Gulch. A trip to said spot in the wastelands was thus overdue in order to provide the necessary proof required for a successful movie production. Otherwise it would not have been possible to persuade his father and the production team to go through all the trouble.

Lola Martinez was hell bent on participating as an actress in such a movie. Thus it was easy for Logan to persuade her into joining a trip into the canyon, regardless of her fear of the wastelands. She wondered already what a rôle she would get to play. The Halloween movie had seemed to be a failure. Lola seemed to think to be allowed to portray the girlfriend of Charles Galloway, giving him one last kiss before his departure. She already wondered who would portray Charles. "It has to be a good kisser!"

Logan and Michael had studied the yearboks of Pacific Coast Academy pertaining to the time in question, but they had not found pout more than the existence of Charles Galloway and of Hotchins's classes. There was especially no hint about any possible girlfriend of Charles, nor about his connections with his fellow students. There had been no girls admitted to Pacific Coast Academy, so Charles' girlfriend, if any, must have been some girl from outside. But maybe it was at least possible to find some relatives of deceased Galloway.

Logan also wanted Chase Matthews to follow them into the wastelands. But the latter did not really care about the whole mess of Charles Galloway. So he had to lure him with the prospects of writing the script for the movie.

Zoey was still in a horribly stinky mood because Lola had hired her sister as a fake girlfriend for Chase Matthews, and thence she was most definitely not willing to help Lola to get a new movie rôle.

Quinn wanted to follow the trip as well, not just in order to help Lola to assure her place in a movie, but especially in order to test and demonstrate the power of her inventions, or at least some of them.

One of Quinn's latest inventions had been a _quinnocular_. This was _like a set of fice telescopes bound together, providing improved optical abilities, such a night vision, infra vision, and transparancy._ Such a device would beyond any doubt prove extremely useful for searching the canyon out there.

Another equally interesting device to be deployed and tested out there was a multi-purpose detection tool. Besides metals, it was even able to detect biodegradable substances hidden in the soil.

Nicole would have liked to join, but once she had heard that Charles Galloway had been dead for five decades already, she had changed her opinion, because she did not think that the corpses of dead people were still cute after so many years.

* * *

**3.8 Living Relatives**

Matthew Palmer Noid and I had been talking to Megan in our lounge for middle school girls about the planned trip to Redstone Gulch.

Dustin had listened as well, and he was worried because the kids were still trying to get Zoey to join them to the gulch, even begging her on their knees. '

Was Dean Rivers actually willing to give the kids a pass for leaving the campus?

Dustin had already informed the school's administration about that trip.

Dean Rivers had intervened, and he was now insisting in a responsible adult.

Megan sighed. "You said that the deceased former students is named Charles Galloway?"

Duston nodded solemnly. "Do you know him?"

Megan coughed. "Sorry, the creep died before any of us were born."

Dustin fainted. "I know." He let his head hang due to being thoroughly embarrassed.

Megan remarked, "but I know a family of that name, the boss of my step father is among them."

Dustin gasped, "your step father is that stupid weather reporter that lives sow in sin with Coco Wexler?"

Megan grabbed Dustin. "Be more careful! Not everyone is supposed to know that!"

Dustin moaned. "Sorry!"

Megan sighed. "Yeah, Galloway is boss of the broadcasting corporation where Walter works as a poor excuse of a weather reporter."

So, maybe there was a connection between those Galloways and the former studemnt at Pacific Coast Academythat had perished about fifty years ago?

Megan hated to have to talk to her current step-father, but it had to be.

* * *

**3.9 Responsible Adult**

A few days later, Walter Nichols had replied and even forwarded the request unto his boss, Mr. Galloway.

Indeed, the latter turned out as a nephiew of the deceased student.

According to family legend, Charles had suicided in the wastelands, and that was the reason why the rest of his relatives had never tried to retrieve his corpse for an appropriate burial on a regular cemetery.

Alas, this probably just meant that he family had believed the official version spread by the school's admninistration. Of course no private boarding school was willing to make a lot of noise about a disappeared student. It would have been poson for the public renown of the school and its sponsors.

Of course there must have been more behind the horrible case of Charles Galloway, and his nephiew was now about to start doubting the official version of the story.

The school's administration was still not willing to let the kid explore the wastelands. Dean Rivers had fortunately still been a little baby when the incidence with Charles Galloway had occured, and thus he did not know much about the story, and he did not share the actual or supposed agenda of Leo Bradford and of Hotchins. But he expected a good reason for such an expedition.

Quinn had come up with a project in geography for whuch they were going to fetch some dirt from the wastelands and examine it in the school's laboratories.

But now a responsible adult had also been found, and this was no other than Walter Nichols in person. This creep and inept weather reporter had been a ranger scout for many a year and even been responsible for a junior scout group in San Diego.

Megan Parker had belonged to this group, exactly like Wendy Gellar.

Sometimes, Joshuah Nichols had subbed for him.[3:36] The consequences for this had used to be even more chaotic. As Josh was now eighteen years old, he qualified as a responsible adult.

Thus the choice was now all left between father and son.

Walter would have insisted to come along with his concubine Coco Wexler, and this disturbed Dean Rivers an insane lot, as Coco had been a really bad influence on the students. She had been tolaerable on the campus as long as she was under the control of other more responsible adults, but somewhere out in the wilderness, this was impossible.

Thus the choice fell finally on Joshuah Nichols, against the protests of Logan Reese.

But Dean Rivers was explicit. "It is either with Joshuah Nichols … or not at all!"

Megan Parker was secure in the knowledge that neither Walter nor Josh were a good idea, but she was not able to convince Dean Rivers of the truth.

* * *

**3.9.1 Start Of The Field Trip**

Joshuah Nichols was an expert in the usage of topographic maps and compasses. Now he had gathered the whole gang up to explore Redstone Gulch: Logan Reese, Michael Barret, Chase Matthews, Dana Cruz, Zoey Brooks, Lola Martinez, Quinn Pensky, and Nicole Bristow.

Unfortunately, even the term _topographical map_, or, alternatively, _cadastral_, was nothing that made sense to the gang, barring, of course, to Quinn Pensky, our genius for science and geometry.

But the rest of the gang was bored to death, especially Nicole Bristow, although she used to make a few inappropriate remarks every now and then.

Logan was getting more and more angry, He wanted to get as fast as possible to the tomb of Charles Galloway, and not learn about the secrets of survival in the wastelands.

Josh did not stop here, he controlled and explained the equipment of the participants in the trip extremely carefully.

They were about leaving when Stacey Dillsen showed up. "Wait!"

Josh turned around, against the militant protests of Logan and Lola, who hated Stacey Dillsen to the death. "Who are you, and what is going on?"

Stacey introduced herself in a way betraying her penetrant lisp. "I have built a sextant of cotton swabs and white glue for you. You may also use my telescope for the trip. I use to watch the stars with it, and stars are good for orientation when you are out in the wastelands."

Josh panted heavily. "Oh, thanks, that's a nice idea."

Lola wondered, "sextant? Is that something like a vibrator?"

Nicole scratched her chin. "Cool! I love vibrators! What is a vibrator?"

Michael whispered a few words into Nicole's ears, making her choke for disgust.

Zoey was equally consternated. "Stacey! How do you dare to show up with such a perverse thing!"

Josh growled, "hell no, a sextant is indeed an instrument erstwhile used for navigation across the seven seas."

Zoey looked severely dumbfounded.

Josh was not as much disturbed by Stacey Dillsen as most other people, and that was not because he had less difficulties with the distorted pronunciation, but because he was suffereing from being taunted because of his huge head as much as Stacey was for her lisp. He waved at te cotton swab girl. "See you later!"

Stacey shrugged and waved back. She was excited, because she wanted the gang to find something to be able to get back at evil Hotchins.

* * *

**3.9.2 Green Tornado**

The gang and Josh Nichols were off to the middle of the lands of nowhere.

It was clear that Josh was not a really bad guide, given that he was very learned in things pertaining to geography and biology.

But, nothing withstanding, I sensed bad things going on, and the welkin above us was not making me feel any better about the whole situation.

The mysterious circumstances of the death and disppearance of Charles R. Galloway still gave me the creeps.

Kelly Peckinpaw was willing to write the truth about Charles R. Galloway, but she was scared by the possibility of cursed tombs that released evil demons upon getting opened.

Dustin was most obviously worried about his sister. Even holding hands with Sandy Baldwin appeared top be of little help.

Even Megan was starting to worry about her step brother, although she was usually by no means able to show such a weakness.

Kelly asked, "Joshuah's dad … you know … that disgusting loverboy of our disgusting dormitory adviser … he is a weather reporter, ain't he?"

I nodded solemnly. "Yeah, he is, but — at least according to Megan — a very inept one."

Kelly sighed. "Has to be … he has not predicted a green cyclon, has he?"

I gasped. "A green tornado? What the …"

And she was right, some green whirlwind was approaching us rapidly from the hill chains that were on the way to Red Stone Gulch.

Of course there was no such thing as green tornados, so something was fishy.

And I sensed increasingly the urge to do something in order to fight the ghastly apparition at its roots. At lest I was more and more suure that there was a ghastly phenomenon evolving in front of our eyes, and by absolutely no means a natural cyclon. Maybe it was time for trying to do something I had been thinking about onb an off for almost two years, but never had vcome to perform indeed: Communication with the dead, in particular with Charles R. Galloway. By no means was it any longer possible for me to doubt that the gang had commited some inappropriate and unspeakable things at the tommbs of Charles R. Galloway, staining it with filth and corription. And it was not hard to guess that only one person was perverted enough to commit such an evil deed on purpose: Logan Reese.

* * *

**3.9.3 Talking To The Dead**

I had withdrawn into a silent corner of the campus.

Not even Matthew Palmer Noid was staying here with me, as he would have freaked out, requiring the musical therapy of Megan or Nevel.

I closed my eyes in order to concentrate on the ghastly vibrations, or whatever I sense to be those.

Finally, a picture of a faceless shadow of Charles R. Galloway appeared in front of my eyes.

I also sensed more and more what was going on.

Logan Reese had stolen something from the tomb of Charles, and this had upset the restless spirit.

The item had been apparently something magical, otherwiise there had been not so much of a trouble.

Retrurning said item, which, accordi ng to my experiences, was probably a ring or an amulet or a bracelet, to the tomb would have fixed the situation for the time being. But the solution would not have worked out for good, because the greed of Logan Reese and his likes, such as Mercedes Griffin, Trinidad Vega, Mandy Franklin, and so on, was almost bottomless, and it was the deeper cause, the root of the corruption of the society of Pacific Coast Academy.

Deep within, Logan Reese and Hotchins were totally alike: Promoters of capitalism and imperialism. And the two of them had been the driving forces of the foundation and development of Pacific Coast Academy.

During his lifetime, Charles R. Galloway had been one of the pupils critical of the ways Pacific Coast Academy had been managed. This caused him to become the number one public enemy of Hotchins and his demonic clique, especially the school's administration.

Besides Hotchins, all those involved people had long since gone, but the existence of pupils like Logan Reese was the insurance for the corrupt management to regenerate itself over and over again.

But what was I supposed to do now?

In order to save the kids currently studying at Pacific Coast Academy from the wrath of Charles Galloway, I had to promise to use my magic abilities in order to put an end to the ways in which Pacific Coast Academy had been managed since its foundation, and how its forerunners here at Pepperdine Beach had been managed. While doing so, I did not have an exact idea of the actions necessary in order to manage such a vaguely described task, and I feared that I had not got endlessly much time to find out. In addition, I did not know whether the kids out in the desert had suffered already damage from the undead tornado.

* * *

**3.10 Returning From The Horrortrip**

Finally, the kids were back.

Scanning Logan's perverted thought, it was not a problem to figure that he had taken an amulet from the tomb of Charles Galloway and hidden it in Zoey's backpack. He needed it as a proof for the legend, for otherwise the story an the movie would not have sold.

Zoey Brooks was of course in an even more stinky mood than ever before. She insisted in returning the locket to the tomb.

OK, this would help the kids to sleep safer, but wiithout my promise to the ghost of Charles Galloway, it would only have lead to temporary relief.

The way to Redstone Gulch had been easy to find due to Josh's ranger skills and Quinn's inventions.

The kids had been struck by the green tornado on their way back from the tomb, and Zoey had almost brokem her leg or something like that.

Chase had already supposed the whirlwind to be a movie effect made by Logan's film team, but, as we have seen, Logan would not have been able to hire them without a proof for the legend.

But now they were sufficiently safe, or so I had supposed, but I had not taken into account that my intervention had been late.

So, all of a sudden, things changed. Dana Cruz dragged the apparently lifeles, but actually just collapsed body of Joshuah Nichols across the dunes.

Quinn sighed. "Josh has tried to protect Zoey when she was struck by panic due to mthe green tornado. And then she slumped to the ground. I would have preferred to leave that loser's wretched body out in the wastelands to rot into oblivion. But Zoey did not let me."

Nicole explained, "we might have been lost without his knowledge about survival in the wastelands. He had even got bear-proof tins[3:37] for our food and water."

Michael Barret shivered, as he was afraid of bears.[3:38] "Why has nobody ever told me that there are bears at Redstone Gulch? I would not have come with you if …"

Logan grinned, "yeah, for that reasomn, I had not told you about the bears! You would have kept on lamenting and squealinhg, and then youy would not have come with us."

Quinn growled, "there are no bears at Redstone Gulch! I have searched the whole area with my quinnoculars … no bears, but a few coyotes and pumas."

Michael twitched. "Coyotes? Pumas? You did not tell me in advance that there are coyotes at Redstione Gulch? They would have stolen our watrer and food, and then they would have eaten us alive!"

Stacey had arrived near us, and she was consternated when seeing the unconscious and wretched body of Josh Nichols. "Where is my cotton swab sextant?"

Dana grunted, "I kicked it in to the dirt. it was ugly!"

Stacey did not really care, as she was a lot more worried about Josh Nichols. She bent over him and tried to shake him awake. '"Who has hurt you?"

Nicole tried hard to tell Stacey the story, but she was toop much excited to talk clerly.

I tried to awaken Joshuah Nichols rom his coma by means of handlaying, for the first time without having been requested.

Megan had seen us, and she shook her head. "Boob!" Then she produced her oboe, and she started some tune.

Joshuah woke up and jumped onto his feet in no time. "I am back on the campus? What happened?"

Zoey told Josh what had ghappened since the moment upon which the boob had passed out.

I did not know whether Megan's music, my hand laying, or just the combination of them had effected this reanimation. But I decided to tell Josh that Stacey's tears had been the cause for his revival. Maybe this was not even a fairy tale.

Josh sighed deeply, and he started hugging Stacey tightly.

* * *

**3.10.1 Zoey's Nightmare**

I was beack in the lounge of Brenner Hall in order to talk to Dustin and Sandy. The little brother of Zoey had been unable to walk out on the campus, as he was still paralysed by his worries about his sister's destiny. "She has had a bad dream whemn Michael had started suggested the trip to Redstone Gulch."[3:39]

Finally, I got the blond Mary Sue to talk about her nightmare.

Zoey sighed deeply. "I had had that nightmare when Logan had organised the whole trip to Redstone Gulch. And there was that green tornado. But it did not stop and followed us until the campus, wreaking lots of havoc, until the locket that Logan had stolen from the tomb and hidden in my bag was returned unto the tomb site. Then the ghost helped us scaring Hotchins and postponing the whole mess of the written test."

I gasped. "You should have listened to the warning of your dreams. My mother hasn't listened to mine, and then …"

Zowy sobbed. "Sorry!"

I shrugged. "You might think it is now all solved, butit isn't, at least not until the pest of greed and capitalism is not exterminated from the campus. Even returning teh locket to the tomb would only delay the wild hunt." Then I admitted to having talked to the ghost in order to make him let the high school kids go."

Zoey gasped. "Logan?"

I nodded. "Logan is of course one example, but just one of many. Pacific Coast Academy had started as a project driven by the greed of the sponsors. Back then, there had been others than nowadays, at least some. Pear and Blix, for examples, did not exist during the life time of Charles Galloway."

"Certainly not …" Zoey agreed. "But what can we do against the dictatorship of the sponsors? Boycot Blix and Pear products?" She shrugged, as this sounded really impossible, and it definitely was.

Alas, it had been my part of the deal with Charles Galloway to do something about it.

* * *

**3.11 Martial**

* * *

**3.12 Wrestling Team**

The football team was not the only accumulation of brute and mindless jocks at Pacific Coast Academy.

Another host of brainless creeps was the wrestling team, coached by equally brainless Peters.[3:40] The latter was even worse than aforementioned Coach Keller.

Little surprise, the captain of the wrestling team was no olther than archjock and dandy Logan Reese.

Peters wanted Zoey to join the team, once he saw her intervene in a combat between two middle school kids, and precisely the worst bullies of my class.

Of course Zoey was not your typical brainless tomboy, as totally opposed to Dana Cruz or Trinidad Martinez.

So, why was she chosen by Peters? I triesd to read his mind, and I was able to detecxt some totally perverse trick behind it, although it was not possible to read any details.

During the football matches we had seen that brainless boys like Logan Reese or William Loomer did not take girls serious as opponents, even more, they refused to face one as an opponent.

This was of course not only the case for perverts like Logan Reese studying at Pacific Coast Academy, but also for those at other schools, as best seen in the case of Loomer.

I remember how the boys of Polk High had been consternated when realising that Dana was a girl.

Clearly, most opponents would have refused to fight a girl like Zoey and thus been disqualified. Was this the reason for Peters to choose Zoey?

Many things pointed into precisely that direction.

* * *

**3.13 Approaching The Regionals**

The wrestling team was slipping more and more into the centre of the public interest. This was the result of the impending Californian state championship to be held here on our campus.

Needless to say, our sponsors had assured this event to take place at Pacific Coast Academy as a means of advertising, and probably a totally brute and painful form of it.

This was more or less what Charles Galloway, or rather his ghost, had pointed out.

I was now supposed to bring an end to this insanity. But was there really a way to do so?

* * *

**3.13.1 Chuck Javers**

It was really shocking that Zoey was supposed to face one _Chuck Javers_[3:41] during the regionals, _a wrestler known for his uncompromising martial skills_.

As opposed to perverted jerks like Loomer and Reese, Javers had not got any qualms fighting against girls.

In other words, while all other boys were likely to withdraw from their matches against Zoey, Javers would never do that, and he was not unlikely to break something in the blond Mary Sue.

And now I had finally patched the bits and pieces together.

Peters did not even want Zoey to fight at all, he was as much of a perverted jerk as Logan Reese. No, he wanted to make most of the other boys give up, and then to bring a substitute into the match, a certain Scott Richmond.[3:42] Peters hoped that a fresh Scott Richmond was able to stand a chance to Chuck Javers that had already gone through several fights, but that was a totally treacherous hope.

Zoey was consternated upon hearing about my conclusion. "What? Really? Are you sure? That's why he never let me actually practise fighting, and always forced me to do those stupidities like rope jumping?"

I nodded solemnly.

Zoey moaned, "what a jerk … OK, so … not with me!" She threw her towel into the corner and started relaxing in her chair.

* * *

**3.13.2 The Contest**

Welcome to the arena!

Dana Cruz was the first of the students of Pacific Coast Academy to enter the ring.

The cheerios around Trinidad Vega and Makeout Mandy were already in position.

Dana's next opponent was once again no other than William Loomer, the king of bullies.

Zoey was wearing Dana's belongings.

Dana and Billy had already had a short encounter at the end of the football match. By the way, they had never returned the coconuts they had tried to crack with the0ir skullbones unto their lawful owner, Sikowitz.

The latter was thus in a stinky mood, but he did not want to risk to get crushed in the midst of two power tanks.

The umpire was once more invincible Jackson Colt, the greatest of all mixed martial fighters — ever!

Dana Cruz and Billy Loomer were now standing face to face, and teh combat was about to start.

Loomer's belongings were in the hands of his slave Jerry Crony.

Zoey was consternated once again, as she had been forced to think about him and their dance in the moonlight for several weeks straight, since the football matche and even more after the disastrous attemots of joining the society of the silver hammers.

Cruz and Loomer were hell bent on demonstrating who was the one with the hardest skull — ever! And for that purpose, they were pressing their heads tightly one against another.

The sadomasochist onlookers screamed like the ultimate perverted idiots they were, including the cheerleaders.

Crony sighed, because he feared that Loomer could lose the combat. "Dana is so terribly strong."

Zoey shrugged. "Do they really have to bash their skulls?"

Crony sighed deeply.

Suddenly, a megaphone sounded, declaring "the tournament is cancelled! Get back to your rooms and busses!"

This was consternating.

But then the police of Los Angeles marched in, followed by aforementioned Nolan Byrd, the cousin of Edmond Bigby.

Nolan Byrd, also known as the "Shredderman", was a reckless journalist. We remembered him from some contests between our schools. He had found the proof for the illegal practice of the board of sponsors of Pacific Coast Academy, including the usage of Canadian fatcakes and british bibbles as a sort of doping. Blix softdeinks, fatcakes, bibbles, and Japanese candy sold here at Pacific Coast Academy were chockful of unhealthy drugs that the board tried to pump into us students in order to turn us into superathletes. Much to my surprise, Nolan Byrd had heard — or so he seemed to try to say — my telepathic help cries issued after the grisly incident involving the ghost of Charles R. Galloway.

Kelly Peckingpaw choked. "Wow! Nolan is the journalist that I have always wanted to be. How does he make it?"

I shrugged. "Go and ask him?"

Kelly smiled. "Great idea!" Then she panted heavily and walked up to Nolan. "Hi, Shreadderman, you … shred!"

Nolan sighed. "Oh, hi pretty lady, you are?"

Kelly introduced herself and her job as a school journalist. "One day, I want to win Pullitzer's for the greatest breaking news report!"

Nolan gasped. "That's cool, I like to do something similar."

Kelly sighed. "But you are already so close to that. I am working on a report about the silver hammers, and I don't get any further. I think that they are somewhat related to money washing and so on."

Nolan shook his head. "Wow! I haven't even thought about something like that, but now that you tell me …"

Kelly suggest, "we may talk about this while having some smoothie? But no Blix crap, of course!"

Nolan nodded solemnly. "Of course!"

Kelly continued, "oh, and in the next issue of your online journnal, you may talk about some scandalous kiss!"

Nolan gasped. "What kiss?"

Kelly pecked his cheeks with her lips. "This one!"

Nolan purred and started melting away.

Thereupon, the two 'lovebyrds' were gone.

Dana Cruz and William Loomer started following the example of Nolan and Kelly, disappearing in some silent corner.

Zoey Brooks and Jerry Crony alias Olivary Biallo, who still had to care for thir friends' belongings, appeared all left behind.

I told Zoey that her hunch was on the right way. "Yeah, Jerome Crony, the reckless assistant bully, is indeed the moondancer from your middle school ball, and he is also a fashion designer that is afraid of fessing up to his hobby, because it sounds so unmanly."

Zoey gasped. "What?" She sighed deeply. "Er … have you designed that shirt for yourself?" She was really embarrassed when trying to talk to Crony.

Crony looked around, checking whether Loomer was really not around. And then he nodded silently. "But don't tell an yone that I am in the textile creation club."Who

Zoey panted heavily. "OK, that sounds totally interesting. And you have been herelike two years ago, signing up as a girl for the middle school dance at 'pca?"

Crony nodded timidly.

Zoey felt the need to talk to Crony about fashion styles.

The two of tehm disappeared into some corner, just as their friends Dana and Billy had done a few minutes earlier.

* * *

**3.13.3 The Vampire**

A few minutes later, I strolled the campus again and saw Logan Reese lying in the dirt.

The reckless dandy looked really in a wretched state, and I wondered what had been going on.

Michael reported that Logan had tried to tell Chuck Javers his opinion. "The wrestling tank had been really rude to us. He broke Quinn's glasses, stole Chase's blix, and so on." Michael trembled, for he was not willing to ever face Javers again.

Many screaming random girls, including even Quinn Pensky and Lola Martinez, started pitying Logan.

For me, it was immediately clear that this was the purpose of Logan's incident. Reading his mind, it was no problem figuring that he had just tried to impress the girls and provoke their pity by getting himself beat up by an unstoppable combat machine.

I told Michael the truth about Logan's cheap comedy.

Chase Matthews joined us. He was still upset because of his spilled blix, and because the sales of blix was now banned on the campus due to the drugs contained therein.

The wrestlers would soon have to get examined by an official medical sent forth by the state department for health because of the doping scandal.

Michael did not want to believe my statement about Logan.

But there was hardly any doubt about it.

Chase stated that he would never want to get himself beat up on purpose, especially not by a powertank like Chuck Javers. "Who wants to be run over by a steel mammoth?"

This was valid for normal people, but certainly not for sheiks and womanisers like Logan Reese. The jerk probably felt some pain from the impact of Chuck Javers, but he was likely to get over it very fast, unlike most other boys of his age, especially Chase Matthews.

By the way, I sensed that Chuck Javers was still around, but where? A few steps later, I found an answer to that question.

Chuck Javers was sitting behind some shrubs, making out with Trinidad Rebecca Vega y Martinez.

I just shook my head and moved on without commenting.

OK, it is now time to come back to Logan Reese and his perversely screaming fangirls and deluded friends. I had wondered about Logan's reasons for claiming the rooftop of Maxwell Hall for over a year, and now I sensed why that had been the case.

The reckless jerk was a vampire. By night, he was howling to the dark gods of decay and destruction. By having sold his soul to the demons of darkness, Logan had purchase his girl-charming beauty and his athletic figure. This was not uncommon for supermodels or those who wanted to become one of these, especially male supermodels. But I also suggested his secret love, Nercedes Griffin alias Missy Meany, as one of them.

Logan Reese had been most interested in the field trip to Redstone Gulch not just in order to verify the legend of Charles Galloway in order to be able to produce a famous movie, but because he had no respect for the souls of the dead. This had allowed him to rob the locket of Charles Galloway without mercy.

Now it was absolutely necessary to warn the other kids at Pacific Coast Academy about the true essence of Logan Reese. Unfortunately, this was really hard, especially in the case of Chase and Michael.

But I did not want them to wake up bloodless. Well, maybe vampires did not really suck human blood, I was pretty much sure that the but he was an imminent danger for these two boys. Quinn

* * *

**3.14 Unhappy Birthday**

* * *

**3.14.1 Changes On The Campus**

The aforementioned raid by the police of Los Angeles under the guidance of officer Garcia[3:43] had struck hard. It was now turning out more and more likely that Pacific Coast Academy would be closed down for the next year.

Some responsible people had already fled from campus, such as vice principal Thatcher.[3:44]

Dean Rivers was in a particularly desperate situation.

His perversely corrupt wife was mad at him because he did not get anything done right.

Fortunately, Claire Sawyer had found some huge hole in the marriage contrct which helped our headmaster to blackmail Tipper and her no less dangerous brother back.

The governour of California had even ordered help from New York City who were now about to sent special officer Martin Fukanaga unto us in order to take care of the examinations of the ongoing corruptions and scandals.

* * *

**3.14.2 The Grandmother**

Chase Bartholomew Matthews was about to turn seventeen. He was already looking forward to his birthday.

His favourite grandma celebrated her birthday the same day of the year, albeit, of course, with many a year inbetween.

I sensed that his grandma was in danger, and — even worse — there was a connection with Logan Reese.

Chase was sending an electronic birthday card to grannie.

At the same time, his friends were planning the birthday party. As usual, it was supposed to be a surprise, so I did not want to spoil it prematurely.

Logan Reese wanted to make a beach party with all girls in bikini, barring Stacey Dillsen who should have stayed away from it for at least 1000 miles. This attitude, typical for megapervert Logan Reese, was of course totally foul and disgusting.

But now it is time to think about Chase's grandmother.

Needless to say, as the old lady lived across the country, it was not exactly easy for him to see her, and especially during the running academic terms when the rules of Pacific Coast Academy did not allow pupils to leavr our campus except with prior written consent of both the school's administration and the authorisation of our parents or guardians in charge , and only when accompanied by a responsible adult, at least in the case of those of us that are not yet sixteen years old.

And now I felt that something was horribly wrong with Chase's grannie, and Chase had not seen her since last summer break. Even worse, he had not been able to say good-bye to her before returning to Pacific Coast Academy, because his thoughts had been caught by his plot aiming for making Zoey Brooks jealous by means of abusing Rebecca alias Trina. And if anything should have happened to grandma, without giving Chase a chance to meet her one last time, a world would have broken down for him, in one or the other manner.

So, even if Chase headed my warnings that his grandma's presence in this frail and futile world of puny mortals was about to come to a sudden end, he would have been tied down by the school's laws that prohibited pupils from deserting during the academic year.

Dean Rivers was hardly going to give Chase the necessary pass just because of my obscure sensation of a bad accident. He was too stubborn to believe in dark omens and such, although the videogames he played were chock full of them, as explained unto us by Wayne Gilbert who used to lend or sell him quite a bunch of them.

Wayne was by the way able to program those nifty things because his supreme coding skills. Most of his creations lived in the world of _DC_ and _Marvel_ superheroes and villains … why was I not surprised by this?

I had reminded Chase of the circumstances of my loss of my mother. She had also decided to ignore my warnings.

This of course gave Chase to think. But was he able to convince Dean Rivers? It would havebeen a lot easier if Officer Garcia had not been exercising control over all life on the campus. Leaving it for a short time, with or without a pass, would have been a reason for suspecting the worst, like being a henchman of the sponsor maffia, including especially Blix, Pear, and Daka.

Schneider's Bakery, on the other hand, was already close to getting shut down on site because of its illegal production of fatcakes and cream pies.

Wayne may have bribed Rivers into granting Chase apass with the promise of a new video game, _Spiderbat Invasion_.

Unfortunately, Chase was the biggest problem. He was not opposed to believing in my magics, not after so much time, but he simply did not want his granny to die, and so he did not want to believe in the possibility of such a thing to happen.

* * *

**3.14.3 Rain Storm**

Weather reporter Walter Nichols had promised sunny weather for the whole coastal area from Santa Barabara to san Diego for five days straight.

But I knew very well that Walter was nothing but an inept quack with no knowledge about the complecity of meteorological dynamics. He was only useful as a boyfriend for Coco Wexler, and nothing else whatsoever.

Fortunately, Audrey Parker had recently trashed him for good, making life a lot easier for Megan.

But for Drake and Josh, this was like a world bursting into smithereens. Were they now still in a position to run a hotel together, ssomething tehy had planned for over a year already?[3:45] They had already envisioned a little inn in downtown Seattle.[3:46]

Chase would of course have preferred nicer weather for his birthday party. But it looked like a rain storm approaching fast from Seattle standing in the way to a sunny birthday party.

Unfortunately, most of the kids did not believe in stormy weather, either.

Nevertheless, the pyjama party had been deemed sexist by many of the girls studying at Pacific Coast Academy, and thus it was turned into a pyjama party.

Alas, I sensed that the really approaching rain front, inspite of not having — at least in the eyes of weather frog Walter Nichols — an impact on southern california, was an incredibly bad omen.

* * *

**3.14.4 Sad Songs**

Alas, my grisly anticipations had come too.

It was a rainy and stormy night out here at Malibu Coast, with storms of a fortitude of at least seven in the sese of Beaufort. Heavy drops whipped our windows.

And, even worse, Chase was consternated when receiving an unwanted, but — or at least for me — unexpected message about the death of his beloved grandmother. He had stepped out into the heavy rain and did not want to talk un to anyone.

I had not heard about this until the next morening when Chase was found in a very miserable state, lying in the dunes and almost drowning in his own tears.

Of course the rain would have caused the same fate.

There were, on the other hand, no precise inforrmations about teh death of his grandma.

Now I had to wonder whether Chase was additionally desperate because of having ignored my warnings about the impending end of his grandma.

My sixth sense told me tha the had been really embarrassed by having ignored my warnings.

Logan hypocritically expressed his condolences. But his sarcastic subtext and his thoughts made it clear that he did not only deem the old lady's death as the just punishment for changing the birthday party plans from a beach party into a pyjama party, but also that he was glad about having achieved this.

So, was reckless vampire Logan Reese even responsible for the death of Chase's grandmother, in one sense or the other?

* * *

**3.14.5 Funeral Trip**

Of course Chase wanted at least to attend his grandmother's funeral, but was he strong enough to make it there?

Granted, I was able to remove his bad cold by laying hands, just as I had done before unto Dustin Brooks.

But he was totally intimidated by the event.

There was no way for him to make it across the continent to New York on his own.

Was Michael Barret going to accompany him there?

Unfortunately, there were no passes granted for that purpose.

But things changed pretty fast.

The news of the impending lockdown of Pacific Coast Academy for the next year had spread fast among the parents all over the country, and it had also reached my "responsible" uncle, making him look for a new school for me.

And this chosen school happened to be located in Manhattan in New York City, thence not too far from Madame Kreuftlva, my example to live up to.

Due to the great number of requests for checking out new schools, given the impending end of the era, the school's administration was forced to grant permits for that purpose.

My uncle was about to pick me up, and he would allow Chase to come along with us, just one day after the most miserable night ever on the campus of Pacific Coast Academy.

* * *

**3.14.6 The Resurrection**

Megan Parker had informed her multiply aforementioned friend Adelaide Singer about abour visit to the northeastern states in order to attend the funeral of the deceased grandmother of Chase Bartholomew Matthews, and in order to watch out for schools to goto after the impending destruction of Pacific Coast Academy by the Californian state.

Addie was now a student at Broadway Acdemy For The Advanced Fine Arts, which appeared to be some sort of New York's counterpart to Hollywood School For The Professional Performance Arts, because of her great skills as a lyrics writer.

Funeral speeches were always — or so I remembered from my mother's funeral — disgustingly boring and as hypocritical as can be.

Suddenly, I felt a voice in the back of my head, telling me, "you may raise her from the dead, I know that you can do it!"

I gasped. "Where has that voice come from?" Or so I had to ask myself.

OK, I had been confused often enough by my own abilities, but this time, it was a huge step further than ever before.

But I walked ahead, muttering some Latin phrases that I had never really understood myself. OK, I had managed to talke to the ghost of Charles Galloway, but this was something vwery different.

All of a sudden, the coffin box was busted open, and a living and sane old lady jumped out of it. "Chase!"

The bushy head looked consternated, but then he raced up to his grandma, and he started hugging her.

Granted, the old woman would soon die naturally, but not without having been able to say good bye to her favourite grandson for one last time, and that was the whole scope of the enterprise, wasn't it?

* * *

**3.14.7 Conclusion**

The voice in my head had been that of no other than multiply mentioned Kreuftlva.

Due to my move to Manhattan, it was going to be easy for me to receive her instructions even in person.

Chase would switch to aforementioned Broadway Academy, joining his new girlfriensd Adelaide Singer. He would also concentrate on writing lyrics and drama, under the instructions of Sofia Michelle,[3:47] his great example to live up to.

Unfortunately, Matthew Palmer Noid would stay in California, but this would only be a separation for a few years of high school life, anyways.

Di Cristoforo's department of FBI was closing down Pacific Coast Academy, just as expected, by the end of the year,a nd its pupils would dispers across the continent and the seven seas.

Logan Reese, assisted by his henchwoman and fellow vampire Rebbecca Martinez, turned out as the true culprits of the death of Chase's granda. It was an action of revenge. He and Rebecca had sent poisoned cookies unto the old lady.

But Charles Galloway was now finally able to find his eternal rest.

And I had still got several years in front of me in order to learn about the practice of witchcraft, for my powerfully impressive thaumaturgic deeds were still not well-controlled. Maybe some day ….

**_THE END_**

* * *

** 1:1**:

* * *

This is Vicky, a cameo from _Zoey 101_: _Pilot_ et alibi, with a first name borrowed from the same actress's rôle in third party owned _Cobu_.

* * *

**1:2**:

* * *

Malcolm Reese is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Spring Break Up_.

* * *

**1:3**:

* * *

Mr. Bradford is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Prank Week_.

The first name is borrowed from teh same actor's guest rôle in third party owned _That__'__s Life_.

* * *

**1:4**:

* * *

Northridge is a school mentioned multiple times in _Victorious_, such as _Freak The Freak Out_.

It is identified with Eastridge, a cameo school in _Bigtime Rush_: _Big Time Break_.

* * *

**1:5**:

* * *

Silver Spring is the school in _Just Jordan_.

* * *

**1:6**:

* * *

Jack is a cameo in _Zoey 101_: _Pilot_ et alibi.

The surname is from a cameo rôle of the same actor in third party owned _Desperation_.

* * *

**1:7**:

* * *

Coach Ferguson is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Pilot_.

* * *

**1:8**:

* * *

Cal is a guest character in _The iCarly Show_: _iGo Nuclear_.

The surname is from the same actor's appearance in some third party owned production.

* * *

**1:9**:

* * *

The title is taken from a similar booklet appearing in cartoon show _Fairly Odd Parents_.

* * *

**1:10**:

* * *

Coach Keller is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _People Auction_.

* * *

**1:11**:

* * *

Keith Finch is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Defending Dustin_.

He is identified with the same actor's cameo as Cleeshay in _The iCarly Show_: _iFence_.

* * *

**1:12**:

* * *

Doctor Glazer is a repeated cameo in _Drake & Josh_, e.g. _The Bet_.

* * *

**1:13**:

* * *

Some similar excuse is used by Nicole in _Zoey 101_: _Spring Fling_.

* * *

**1:14**:

* * *

J. Savage is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Jet-X_. Qualitech is mentioned in the same episode

* * *

**1:15**:

* * *

Daka is featured in _The iCarly Show_: _iPromote Techfoot_ and mentioned in _Drake & Josh_: _Really Big Shrimp_.

* * *

**1:16**:

* * *

Jeff Garrett is a cameo in _Zoey 101_: _Jet-X_.

* * *

**1:17**:

* * *

According to _Zoey 101_: _Zoey__'__s Tutor_, one of Logan's grandfathers had been in such a position.

* * *

**1:18**:

* * *

Fletcher is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _The Play_, identified with the same actor's guest rôle as St. Troy in _Bucket & Skinner__'__s Epic Adventures_: _Epic Musical_.

* * *

**1:19**:

* * *

Eichner is a cameo in _Victorious_: _Pilot_, identified with same actor's part as Brad in _The iCarly Show_: _iCarly Saves TV_.

* * *

**1:20**:

* * *

Ashley Blake is taken from _Drake & Josh_: _Little Diva_.

* * *

**1:21**:

* * *

Chase expresses this fear in _Zoey 101_: _Spring Breakup_.

* * *

**1:22**:

* * *

Fredward Benson uses similar words in _The iCarly Show_: _iLike Jake_.

* * *

**1:23**:

* * *

Combover is a repreated character in _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_: _School Plays_.

The first name is from a part of te same actor in some third party owned movie.

* * *

**1:24**:

* * *

This occurs in _Zoey 101_: _New Roomies_.

* * *

**1:25**:

* * *

Dog Elvis appears in _Zoey 101_: _Defending Dustin_ and _A Date For Quinn_.

* * *

**1:26**:

* * *

This refers to third partuy productions _The Ghost Whisperer_ and _The Horse Whisperer_.

* * *

**1:27**:

* * *

Megan is seen beguiling some much bigger dog in _Drake & Josh_: _Tiberius_.

* * *

**1:28**:

* * *

The surname of this guest character from _Drake & Josh_: _Number One Fan_ is borrowed from the same actress's character from third party owned _Camp Rock_.

She is also identified with some unportrayed Wendy mentioned in _Zoey 101_: _Lola Likes Chase_.

* * *

**1:29**:

* * *

Courtney is from _Zoey 101_: _A Date For Quinn_.

The surname is from the same actress's part in third party owned _Without A Trace_: _Wannabe_.

* * *

**1:30**:

* * *

The canon had got Drake Bell as an autonymous guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Sprimng Fling_.

Here, Bell is seen as an artist's pseudonym for Parker.

* * *

**1:31**:

* * *

Garth Berman is a guest charaster in _Zoey 101_: _Spring Fling_.

* * *

**1:32**:

* * *

The trombone appears only later in _Zoey 101_: _Lola likes Chase._

* * *

**1:33**:

* * *

This flash is used by Spencer in _The iCarly Show_: _iOpen A Restaurant_, with a smaller version in _Zoey 101_: _Zoey__'__s Tutor_.

* * *

**1:34**:

* * *

Chase's Guitar is seen in _Zoey 101_: _Surprise!_

* * *

**1:35**:

* * *

He writes lyrics in _Zoey 101_: _Time Capsule_.

There he is also assisted by Michael as a composer.

* * *

**1:36**:

* * *

This inspired by _Zoey 101_: _Michael Loves Lisa_.

* * *

**1:37**:

* * *

Ned Bigby wants to be a rock star according to _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_: _Music Class_.

* * *

**1:38**:

* * *

This identifies Missy Meany from _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_ with Mercedes griffin from _Bigtime Rush_: _Big Time Demo_.

* * *

**1:39**:

* * *

This show is featured in _The iCarly Show_: _iRock The Votes_

* * *

**1:40**:

* * *

This is a third party owned song by Drake Bell.

* * *

**1:41**:

* * *

This is a third party owned song by Drake Bell

* * *

**1:42**:

* * *

This is Addie Singer from _Unfabulous_ as well as Addie from _Drake & Josh_: _Honor Council_.

* * *

**1:43**:

* * *

Cue pops are featured in _Zoey 101_: _Backpack_.

* * *

**1:44**:

* * *

This is Stasie from _Zoey 101_: _Backpack_.

She is identified with the same actress's part as Mindy Crensgaw in _Drake & Josh_.

* * *

**1:45**:

* * *

Cf, _Drake & Josh_: _Honor Council_.

* * *

**1:46**:

* * *

Cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Homnour Council_!

* * *

**1:47**:

* * *

Candy Manderson is a cameo in _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_: _Pep Rallies_.

* * *

**1:48**:

* * *

Mike Grudzielanek is a cameo characterin _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_: _Principals_.

* * *

**1:49**:

* * *

Ash is from _Best Player_.

* * *

**1:50**:

* * *

Jackson Colt is a guest character in _The iCarly Show_: _iLook Alike_.

* * *

**1:51**:

* * *

The really existing Mirandese language is spoken in some small part of the Iberian peninsula only.

The Kingdon of Miranda is just a fiction for this story.

* * *

**1:52**:

* * *

This is based off the Mirandese lyrics of the Portuguese anthem.

* * *

**1:53**:

* * *

Toplin is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _The Great Vince Blake_.

* * *

**1:54**:

* * *

This is Debra from _Zoey 101_: _School Dance_ with a surname borrowed from the rôle of the same actress in some third party owned movie.

* * *

**1:55**:

* * *

Olivary Biallo is here identiofied with Jerome Crony, a rôle of the same actor.

* * *

**1:56**:

* * *

Nicholas Webber is a guest character from _Zoey 101_: _School Dance._

* * *

**1:57**:

* * *

Glen Davis is a guest character from _Zoey 101_: _School Dance_.

* * *

**1:58**:

* * *

_DC_ and _Marvel_ are third party owned comics, also partially available as movies and other media products.

Wayne Gilbert's fascination with them is alluded to in _Zoey 101_: _Favor Chain_.

* * *

**1:59**:

* * *

Andrew is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Robot Wars_.

The surname is borrowed from the same actor's recurring rôle in _Teennick_ production _Ten Things I Hate About You_.

* * *

**1:60**:

* * *

Farfalla is a cameo character in _Zoey 101_: _School Dance_.

* * *

**1:61**:

* * *

Neil is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Robot Wars_.

The surname is a spoof off the actor's name.

* * *

**1:62**:

* * *

Mystic Beach is mentioned in _Zoey 101_: _Little Beach party_.

* * *

**1:63**:

* * *

Beverly is a cameo in _Zoey 101_: _Hot Dean_ et alibi.

* * *

**1:64**:

* * *

Bromwell is a guest character in _Zoey 101_" _Zoey__'__s Tutor_.

* * *

**2:1**:

* * *

Melanie Puckett is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _iTwins_.

* * *

**2:2**:

* * *

Fawn Leibowitz is a guest character in _Victorious_: _Crazy Ponny_.

* * *

**2:3**:

* * *

Trisha Kirby is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Bad Girl_.

* * *

**2:4**:

* * *

Kirby is a cameo in _Zoey 101_: _Defending Dustin_.

There is no such thing as a canonical connection between Trisha and the teacher.

* * *

**2:5**:

* * *

This envy is alluded to in _Zoey 101_: _Girls Will Be Boys_.

* * *

**2:6**:

* * *

Tasha is a cameo in _The iCarly Show_: _iNevel_.

The surname is from the same actress's guest rôle in third party owned _Hannah Montana_: _Achy Jakey Heart_, identified with a cameo of the same actress in _Unfabulous_" _The Grey Area_..

* * *

**2:7**:

* * *

This Maria is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Quarantine_

* * *

**2:8**:

* * *

This is Vanessa from _Zoey 101_: _Quinn__'__s Alpaca_, identified with Tayler from _Unfabulous_: _List Of The Kissed_.

* * *

**2:9**:

* * *

Lola admits to something like that in _Zoey 101_: _Back At PCA_, but this version here is exaggerated.

* * *

**2:10**:

* * *

This identifies guest character Blatzberg from _Zoey 101_: _Wrestling_ with guest character Duke in _The iCarly Show_: _iHatch Chicks_.

* * *

**2:11**:

* * *

This is cameo character Max from _Zoey 101_:_Bad Girl_.

The surname is taken from some cameo of the same actor in some third party owned production.

* * *

**2:12**:

* * *

This weapon is featured in _The iCarly Show_: _iTake On Dingo_.

* * *

**2:13**:

* * *

Gangrel is a cameo in _Zoey 101_: _Bad Girl_.

* * *

**2:14**:

* * *

Henry is from _Zoey 101_: _Bad Girl_.

The surname is from the same actor's cameo in some third party owned production.

* * *

**2:15**:

* * *

Beavcoons are mentioned in _The iCarly Show_: _iBelieve In Bigfoot_.

* * *

**2:16**:

* * *

Come On Inn as a location is featured in _The iCarly Show_: _iTake On Dingo_, mentioning also the usage of the inn for surgical operations on Sam's mom by some anonymous and unportrayed surgeon.

* * *

**2:17**:

* * *

Quinn plays teh trombone in _Zoey 101_: _Lola Likes Chase_ and _Quinn__'__s Alpaca_.

Samantha is talking about trombone lessins in _The iCarly Show_: _iHatch Chicks_.

* * *

**2:18**:

* * *

This is reveiled in _Zoey 101_: _Silver Hammers_.

* * *

**2:19**:

* * *

This is seen in _The iCarly Show_: _iWas A Pageant Girl._

Quinn pensky from _Zoey 101__ is identified with an unportrayed Quinn pensky mentioned in that episode._

* * *

**2:20**:

* * *

Something like that is alluded in _The iCarly Show_: _iDream Of Dance_.

* * *

**2:21**:

* * *

Leanne Carter is a guest character form _The iCarly Show_: _iWas A Pageant Girl_.

* * *

**2:22**:

* * *

Frank ie Murkin is mentioned in _The iCarly Show_: _iHate Sam__'__s Boyfriend_.

* * *

**2:23**:

* * *

Chase's fear of racoons is admitted in _Zoey 101_: _School Dance_.

* * *

**2:24**:

* * *

This is inspired by third party owned song _Beggin__'__ On Your Knees_ by Victoria Justice.

* * *

**2:25**:

* * *

Miles Brody is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Robot Wars_.

* * *

**2:26**:

* * *

The name is read in _Zoey 101_: _Robot Wars_.

* * *

**2:27**:

* * *

Murphy is a cameo in _Zoey 101_: _Robot Wars_.

* * *

**2:28**:

* * *

This refers to a cameo character Mr. Reese in _Bucket & Skinner__'__s Epic Adventures_: _Epic Cheer_

* * *

**2:29**:

* * *

Quinn admits to buying pulverised uranium in _Zoey 101_: _Vince Is Back_.

Also, _Zoey 101_: _Disc Golf_ shows Quinn using plutonium, which is made from uranium.

* * *

**2:30**:

* * *

Quinndoze is mentioned in _Zoey 101_: _Favor Chain_.

* * *

**2:31**:

* * *

Jamerson is a guest character from _True Jackson VP_: _True__'__s New Assistant_.

* * *

**2:32**:

* * *

Sheldon is a supporting rôle from _Best Player_.

* * *

**2:33**:

* * *

Nolan Byrd is the main character in _Shredderman Rules_.

* * *

**2:34**:

* * *

Cf. _Drake & Josh_: _Megan__'__s New Teacher_.

* * *

**2:35**:

* * *

This cue stick is deployed in _Zoey 101_: _Coffee Cart Ban_.

* * *

**2:36**:

* * *

Zoey is seen tutoring Quinn in French during _Zoey 101_: _Little Beach Party_.

* * *

**2:37**:

* * *

André and Monique Chaumont are guest characters in _Zoey 101_: _Haunted House_.

André Chaumont is here identified with the same actor's guest rôle as Mario in _The iCarly Show_: _iPie_. He is also considered as the daytime example of recurring _Victorious_'s David Alejandro Vega.

* * *

**2:38**:

* * *

This is a thriod party owned work by Frank Baum.

* * *

**2:39**:

* * *

Cf. _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_: _Halloween_!

* * *

**2:40**:

* * *

Mr. Quest is minor recurring character of _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_.

Here, he is identified with Mitchell from _True Jackson VP_: _Switcheroo_ and with Chantal from _Bigtime Rush_: _Big Time Move_.

* * *

**2:41**:

* * *

The surname is taken from a rôle of the same actor in some third party owned production.

* * *

**2:42**:

* * *

This is mentioned in ø; _Broadcast Views_.

* * *

**2:43**:

* * *

Method acting is featured in _Victorious_: _Sleepover At Sikowitz_.

* * *

**2:44**:

* * *

Cf. _Zoey 101_: _Little Beach Party_!

* * *

**2:45**:

* * *

Cf. _The iCarly Show_: _iMight Switch Schools_.

* * *

**2:46**:

* * *

Tracy and Sandy Baldwin are guest characters from _Zoey 101_: _Lola Likes Chase_.

Sandy is identified with guest character Katie in _Drake & Josh_: _Megan__'__s New Teacher_.

* * *

**2:47**:

* * *

This is the anonymous player of a violoncello in _Zoey 101_: _Hot Dean_. The name is a spoof off the actress's name.

* * *

**2:48**:

* * *

Chief Becker is from _Zoey 101_: _Drippin Epoisode_.

* * *

**2:49**:

* * *

Mrs. Lee is a guestcharacter from _Victorious_: _Wok Star_.

The same goes for Daisy mentioned below.

* * *

**2:50**:

* * *

Cpt. Steubing is mentioned in _Victorious_: _WiiFi In The Sky_.

* * *

**2:51**:

* * *

Jessica is mentioned in _Drake & Josh_: _Drake and Josh Go Hollywood_.

* * *

**2:52**:

* * *

Tekmates are featured in _Zoey 101_: _Spring Breakup_.

* * *

**2:53**:

* * *

This is suggested by _The iCarly Show_: _iPromise Not To Tell_.

* * *

**2:54**:

* * *

This spice is featured in _Drake & Josh_" _Peruvian Puff Pepper_.

* * *

**2:55**:

* * *

Tipper Rivers is a cameo in _Zoey 101_: _Quinn__'__s Alpaca_ and _Coffee Cart Ban_/

* * *

**2:56**:

* * *

Megan's zebra is a cameo in _Drake & Josh_: _Sheep Thrills_.

* * *

**2:57**:

* * *

Faye Dunnaway is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Quinn Misses The Mark_.

* * *

**2:58**:

* * *

This is made plausible by _Zoey 101_: _The Great Vince Blake_.

* * *

**2:59**:

* * *

This is reveiled in _Zoey 101_: _Silver Hammers_.

* * *

**2:60**:

* * *

This pony is featured in _True Jackson VP_: _Keeping Tabs_.

* * *

**2:61**:

* * *

Cf. _Drake & Josh_: _The Bet_!

* * *

**2:62**:

* * *

Keerah is a guestcharacter in _Zoey 101_: _Spring Breakup_.

* * *

**2:63**:

* * *

Malcom Reese's activities in Japan are referred to in _Zoey 101_: _Drippin__'__ Episode_.

* * *

**2:64**:

* * *

Sam admits to this in _The iCarly Show_: _iGot A Hot Room_.

* * *

**3:1**:

* * *

This is obvious from _Zoey 101_: _The Play_.

* * *

**3:2**:

* * *

Suzanne is mentioned in _Zoey 101_: _Chasing Zoey_.

* * *

**3:3**:

* * *

This Ashley is a guest character in _The iCarly Show_: _iHire An Idiot_.

The surname is borrowed from some character of the same actress in some thord party owned production.

* * *

**3:4**:

* * *

This is both Scooter from _Zoey 101_: _Favour Chan_ and Robbie Carmichael from _Drake & Josh_: _Treehouse_.

* * *

**3:5**:

* * *

Rebecca is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Surprise_, _Chase__'__s Girlfriend_ and _Zoey__'__s Ribs_.

Trinidad Vega from _Victorious_ is understood as the same girl.

* * *

**3:6**:

* * *

In _The iCarly Show_: _iGive Away A Car_, Nevel Papperman uses the word haberdashery in the modern American sense.

But I understand this as a corrupt usage of the word and refer the more original meaning cdeployed already by Chaucer in his _Canterbury Tales_.

Nevel fights against corruption, and thus Schneider's degenerate usage of the word is incompatible with Nevel's character as per _iNevel_.

* * *

**3:7**:

* * *

This is a spoof off _Make It Shine_, the title song of _Victorious_.

* * *

**3:8**:

* * *

This activity is inspired by the same actress's job in third party owned _The Suite Life Of Zack And Cody_: _Bench Warmers_.

* * *

**3:9**:

* * *

This is both Mandy Franklin, a chartcater mentioned in _Zoey 101_: _Chasing Zoey_, and cameo cheerio Mandy from _Drake & Josh_: _Football_.

* * *

**3:10**:

* * *

This is both regular character Lane from _Victorious_ and cameo Ernie from _The iCarly Show_: _iWas A Pageant Girl_.

* * *

**3:11**:

* * *

This is the anonymous cameo in _Zoey 101_: _The Radio_.

The name is a spoof off the actor's name.

* * *

**3:12**:

* * *

Banville is a cameo in _Zoey 101_: _Silver Hammers_.

* * *

**3:13**:

* * *

This salsa is seen in _Drake & Josh_: _Peruvian Puff Pepper_

* * *

**3:14**:

* * *

Tapenade appears in _The iCarly Show_: _iNevel_.

* * *

**3:15**:

* * *

Carl is a cameo in _Zoey 101_: _Hot Dean_ and _Dinner For Two many_

* * *

**3:16**:

* * *

This is akin to _The iCarly Show_: _iWin A date_ and to _Victorious_: _Worst Couple_.

* * *

**3:17**:

* * *

Dennifer is a cameo in _Zoey 101_: _Quarantine_, identified with the same actor's rôle as James Garrett, later in _Zoey 101_, his guest rôle as Jake Crendle in _The iCarly Show_: _iLike Jake_ and various cameos of the same actor.

* * *

**3:18**:

* * *

Spencer is from _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_: _School Plays_.

The family name is from the same actor's rôle in third-party owned _High School Musical_.

* * *

**3:19**:

* * *

The latter candy is featured in _Zoey 101_: _Defending Dustin_.

* * *

**3:20**:

* * *

Megan's addiction to Japanese candy is featured in _Drake & Josh_: _Megan__'__s First Kiss_.

* * *

**3:21**:

* * *

This candy war occurred in _Ned__'__s Declassified School Survival Guide_: _Getting Organized_.

* * *

**3:22**:

* * *

Bibbles are from _Victorious_: _Tori Goes Platinum_.

* * *

**3:23**:

* * *

Hector is a cameo in _Drake & Josh_: _Little Diva_.

* * *

**3:24**:

* * *

Myles Blake is from _Drake & Josh_: _Little Diva_.

* * *

**3:25**:

* * *

Trina Vega is seen doing so in _Victorious_: _Helen Is Back_.

* * *

**3:26**:

* * *

The scene quoted below is from Shakespeare's _Romeo And Juliet I:5_.

* * *

**3:27**:

* * *

Dave Stewie is a star of _The Gym Teacher_.

* * *

**3:28**:

* * *

The song below is based on third party owned _Take Me To The Gladiator_ by Jeffries and Garlands.

* * *

**3:29**:

* * *

Dr. Hollywood is an occasional cameo in _Bigtime Rush_.

* * *

**3:30**:

* * *

Lucy is a guest character in _Drake & Josh_: _Girl Power_.

* * *

**3:31**:

* * *

Canadian fatcakes are featured in _The iCarly Show_: _iToe Fatcakes_.

* * *

**3:32**:

* * *

This is both Sarah from _Zoey 101_: _Silver Hammers_ and Kyla from _True Jackson VP_: _Flirting With Fame_ et alibi.

* * *

**3:33**:

* * *

Conroy is a cameo character in _Zoey 101_: _Silver Hammers_.

* * *

**3:34**:

* * *

Hotchins is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _The Curse Of PCA_.

* * *

**3:35**:

* * *

Charles Galloway is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _The Curse Of PCA_.

* * *

**3:36**:

* * *

This ranger scout group is featured in _Drake & Josh_: _Number One Fan_.

* * *

**3:37**:

* * *

Josh's bear-proof tins are featured in _Drake & Josh_: _Number One Fan_.

* * *

**3:38**:

* * *

Michael's fear of bears is an issue in _Zoey 101_: _Alone At PCA_.

* * *

**3:39**:

* * *

The canon events of _Zoey 101_: _The Curse Of PCA_ after

* * *

**3:40**:

* * *

Coach Peters is from _Zoey 101_: _Wrestling_.

* * *

**3:41**:

* * *

Chuck Javers is a guest character from _Zoey 101_: _Wrestling_.

* * *

**3:42**:

* * *

Scott Richmond is a guest character in _Zoey 101_: _Wrestling_.

* * *

**3:43**:

* * *

Officer Garcia is a guest character from _Bigtime Rush_: _Big Time Break_.

* * *

**3:44**:

* * *

Thatcher is a guest character from _Zoey 101_: _Chase's Grandma_.

* * *

**3:45**:

* * *

Cf. _Drake & Josh_: _The Parker Nichols Inn_

* * *

**3:46**:

* * *

There is a Parler Nichols Inn mentioned in _The iCarly Show_: _iWant To Stay With Spencer_.

* * *

**3:47**:

* * *

Sofia Michelle is a guest character from _Victorious_: _Tori The Zombie_. 


End file.
